Blueridge Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Please help me come up with a fantastic message for our new phone answering machine. We've never owned one and I have no ideas of what to record. We love funny...happy...Christian content is most welcome, too. Thanks for helping a very unimaginative mom. :D Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BMW Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 A couple of my favorites were actually done by a friend. She had her son, then about 4 yrs. old, say, "You know what to do... wait for the beep!" He had the cutest voice and his "do" went up in tone, I liked it because most people do know what to do for answering machines... Then another year I got her answering machine and her son, then about 5 or so, said, "Yes, I'd like to order a pepperoni pizza with black olives and..."(mom cuts in) "Ryan, get off the phone! We aren't even home right now!" Anyway, don't know if those get you going or not, but I liked them! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home'scool Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Two that we have had recently: 1st child: Hi, we're not home right now so leave ..... 2nd child: Hey! What are you doing? 1st child: I'm recording a message for our answering machine. 2nd child: But .... we're home right now ..... 1st child: (getting frustrated) Yes, but this is for when we are out! 2nd child: Oh. Cool! (then yells) Leave a message and we'll call back! 1st child: Hey, knock it off!! Other message: "Hi, we're home right now, we're just screening our calls. So, keep talking and if you are someone we want to talk to we'll pick up! If not...... well ..... what can we say?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gamom3 Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 "Hello"-- pause "Hello" now with a questionable tone-- then pause "Speak up I can't hear you", pause "Ok, Ok, stop yelling and leave a message" This got everyone that called our house, even if they knew that we had the message! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OnTheBrink Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 Years ago, I had this: Hello?.......Oh, hi! How are you? I was hoping you'd call! But sadly, I'm not here to take your call, so please leave a message. However, not as many found that as amusing as I did when their recording revealed they were ticked at being tricked! LOL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elise1mds Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 One of my friends had one once that said, "You have reached the [surname] residence. We're not here right now, so you have received our answering machine. Please press 1 to leave a message, press 2 to talk to the dogs, or press 0 to reach an operator. Thanks for calling!" They were amazed how many people actually pressed 1 before beginning to speak, and once they had a telemarketer press 0 and get very irritated that there wasn't an actual operator. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
readwithem Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 We once had my dd (around 5) say this: "We're probably curled up in the rocking chair, reading a good book. Please leave a message and when I get out of my mom's lap, she'll get back to you" Sadly we lost it in a thunderstorm and I couldn't get my dd to say it again.:glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hornblower Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 LOL, I still have the mechanoid man voice which came preprogrammed on the home machine. He just says "We're not available at the moment. Please leave a message." in what would be a soothing voice were it not for the fact that he sounds a bit like an alien. My cell just says "HI! Leave a message!" in my ditzy voice. I actually don't like cutesy msgs & esp. don't like long ones ..... just give me the beep so I can say my thing! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted February 4, 2009 Author Share Posted February 4, 2009 Oh, these are all great! It will take us a few days to get used to this new gadget. Just last night we all heard the phone ring and then the machine turned on...and we all just sat there mesmerized. It was our new CONGRESSMAN...calling to invite us to participate in a live telephone meeting. We all ran to pick up the phone just in time to hear him say, "I'm sorry you aren't available to participate tonight. Thank you." Maybe I'll just keep the machine off for a while! Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwen in TX Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 I actually don't like cutesy msgs & esp. don't like long ones ..... just give me the beep so I can say my thing! If you aren't home, don't waste my time. Don't sing; don't play a message in your favorite cartoon character's voice. Just say, "You've reached the LAST NAMEs. Leave a message after the beep." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandy in Indy Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 At one time my nephew's was something like this...This is *g*; I'm not home right now. Leave a message. Leaving a message could cause...then he went on to list all the side effects of the medicnes that were being advertised at the time. I laughed so hard I couldn't leave a message! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rhonda in TX Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 If you aren't home, don't waste my time. Don't sing; don't play a message in your favorite cartoon character's voice. Just say, "You've reached the LAST NAMEs. Leave a message after the beep." Please. I don't want to wait around while you do some cutesy thing on the phone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marylou Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 PLEASE just say "leave a message". I LOVE children, but I can't stand it when folks have their kids on the machine. My time is precious!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 If your going to make it whitty, just make it short please. I won't leave messages if I have to wait for 3 minutes to listen to someones push 1 for..., push 2 for.... or a child's singing of a song, reciting a poem or banter between people. I also won't leave messages for people who try to trick people into thinking they are answering, but really aren't. It would have to be really important for me to bother, if the person is purposefully being annoying to the caller I figure it is their passive aggressive way to discourage people from calling in the first place :glare: I have to call people for work all the time so I guess I am ultra sensitive to answering machines because I deal with them more than the normal person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Maria from IN Posted February 4, 2009 Share Posted February 4, 2009 My dad recorded a message that went: "You have reached the 'No Deposit-No Return' Answering Machine. You no deposit your name, I no return your call." He's been dead almost 5 years and I still hear him saying that. :001_smile: I too agree about the children thing. It's like when local businesses put their children in their television commercials and they warble something unintelligible...like a dentist's office here. If they can't be understood, why should I let their parents stick their hands in my kid's mouth? :confused: Sorry. I'll quit ranting now. :chillpill: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Growing up our machine said something along the lines of: This is the answering machine....my humans aren't home right now so leave a message and maybe they'll call you back. Stupid now that I type it, but it was hilarious in the 80's, lol. I do agree though that I dislike the long drawn out cutesy messages. Say it fast, let it beep and let me be done, as I probably have 10 more calls I want to make, lol. I hang up figuring I"ll call again later (if I remember) rather than wait for long messages....and this includes businesses. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 "This is the X residence. We are either not here, or are screening our calls. If we don't pick up, draw your own conclusions." Not really. I hate witty answering machine messages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb_ Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I also dislike attempts at cute or funny. Even when it works, it only works once. Multiple listens can kill funny awfully fast. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I agree completely. Even the cleverest, cutest message is a PITA after the first time you've had to listen. Identify yourself, ask them to leave a message, beep. And please, please, please, don't let children record the message! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Another vote for skipping cute. When they're cutesy-snide (like we're screening and will pick up if you're worthy, or the can't hear you game) I won't even wait for the thing to ring enough times for the machine to pick up. (And I hang up on my BIL all the time because he likes to play that game when he calls.) Our home voice mail has the generic voicemail lady alien voice. My cell phone (business line) has me saying I am unavailable, please leave a message and I will return your call as soon as I am able. And that seems too long, frankly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blueridge Posted February 5, 2009 Author Share Posted February 5, 2009 Ladies, I thank you very much for helping me! You all have me remembering why I have never owned an answering machine before! I actually hate them...hate leaving messages on them...and now my dh has presented me with one and I have to appreciate it. :D We've decided to leave the machine on during the school day and then after supper time I will switch it off. It came pre-recorded with a man's voice simply stating that we are not available. That should do. Again, thank you all for your help and honesty. Ginger Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GraceinMD Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 (edited) A late reply, and I'm agreeing with most other posters - from a slightly different perspective. I not infrequently have to call people about their loved ones doing poorly, dying, or having died (I'm a physician specializing in geriatrics). Besides the whole "I'm-so-witty-and-my-children-are-the-cutest" issues that many of us seem to have with answering machine messages, it is just *horrible* to have to leave a difficult message after a cutesy announcement. ("It's the refrigerator. If you want I'll take a message and stick it to myself." "Hello. This is Dr. B. I need you to call me right away, because your mother has taken a turn for the worse.") I know that the owner of the machine doesn't hear the juxtaposition when they GET the message, but I'd bet that I sometimes sound odd(er than normal!) because I'm responding to someone's child singing to me, or burping their message or something. My pref: just the facts. "Please leave your name and number and we'll get back to you." Just a thought. FWIW, we don't even HAVE an answering machine, because every. stinking. summer. a bolt of lightening hits the connection and we lose the thing. Now folks are just used to calling my voice mail :). Edited February 5, 2009 by GraceinMD Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Those of you who hate long/funny/weird/etc messages would have *hated* my answering machine way back.... I had a phone with a machine that belted out the chorus to blasting away on it until the beep. :D (we're talking some 12 years back - I wouldn't do that now.. ;) ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 The best one I've ever heard was short and sweet: "It's your dime...talk." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeannie in NJ Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 my favorite was a friend's (who is a very good singer) was playing the piano and singing "There's no one in the place, it's just you and I" . I think that this is an old Sinatra song, anyway that is who my friend was sounding like. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
C_l_e_0..Q_c Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 "You have reached the X residence. This is the refrigerator, the answering machine is on vacation. If you speak very clearly I will write your name and phone number on a post it note and stick it to myself." My bro had that one for a while. So many of his msgs were simply people laughing... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Home'scool Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 On the flipside, I hate hate hate getting a prerecorded voice on an answering machine. It just seems....no it is .... so cold. Ditto for abrupt ones. It turns me off to even wanting to leave a message. If someone picked up the phone and barked "What?" I would feel the same way. When I call friends and it's their kids either singing or saying something cute I rather enjoy it (even the millionth time.) I KNOW these kids ..... it's cute to me too. Even if it isn't cute to me (some kids do have grating voices) I appreciate that the parents think it is cute. I can afford a few seconds of my time to appreciate another parents' pride. I appreciate that someone took the time to put a message on that is a bit more welcoming than some robot saying in a weird tone "HEL-lo. WE're not HO-me right now. LEA-ve a MES-sage" And a jokey one? Well ..... it's a joke!! A moment to giggle a bit. By the time I have heard it 500 times I may not still be laughing, but again the person has put out the equivalent of a welcome mat. I think a persons answering machine says a lot about them, and I don't like the short, abrupt, or mechanical ones. I much rather know I am calling someone with some personality! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
~Puddins~ Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 Also not a fan of the prerecorded messages...my mom has it and I CAN'T STAND getting her answering machine. I feel like I am leaving a message to a stranger. My son did our message when he was 5..we did it over and over again until it was clear and precise "Hi, you have reached the **** House, and we can't come to the phone, so let us call you back!" We mostly get family and friends calling, or even a few receptionists who have called about appointments have said it brought a smile to their face. I have no problem with children doing the message :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Suzanne in ABQ Posted February 5, 2009 Share Posted February 5, 2009 I don't mind children, as long as I can understand what they're saying. I prefer that to the pre-recorded message. When I get the pre-recorded message, I don't have any way of knowing that I even got the right house! A cutesy message, whether from a kid, or an adult, lets me know I reached my intended party. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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