gardenmom5 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 what are some BASIC skills you would expect a teenager to have? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pawz4me Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Age? Because there's a vast difference in what I would expect from a 13 yo versus a 18-19 yo. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Innisfree Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 31 minutes ago, Pawz4me said: Age? Because there's a vast difference in what I would expect from a 13 yo versus a 18-19 yo. This, plus in case of neurodiversity, I’d add more time for maturation and mastery of skills. 3 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lauraw4321 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 So I'll use my 13 year old DD. Load, unload, operate dishwasher Do laundry Cook simple meals safely (ramen, eggs) Follow recipes for more complex meals/baking Vacuum Buy items at stores 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mmasc Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Well, my 13-year old ds is very independent and has been his whole life. (He tried to change his own diapers as a baby! Lol) He can mostly take care of himself really. He regularly: *Makes simple meals for himself (he can use the air fryer, oven, stovetop, etc). Can follow directions and make a few recipes as well. *Mows our small lawn by himself *has been doing his own laundry for years *cleans his bathroom *walks, feeds, administers medication to our dogs *loads/unloads the dishwasher *takes out trash/recycling *rides his bike to the local shops and buys himself snacks, lunch, whatever *goes in the grocery store and picks up a few items, does self check-out *dog sits occasionally Some of these chores are on rotation with his brother, so he isn’t doing those things every day of every week. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 57 minutes ago, lauraw4321 said: So I'll use my 13 year old DD. Load, unload, operate dishwasher Do laundry Cook simple meals safely (ramen, eggs) Follow recipes for more complex meals/baking Vacuum Buy items at stores Great list! I'd say we have/will aim for all these things. I've also tried to make sure by 13 my kids could know how (perhaps with a reminder or two) to do all types of regular/basic household cleaning - clean all parts of bathroom, clean stove/microwave/kitchen sink, mop kitchen floor. All my kids by 12-13 could manage the daily/weekly needs of our three pets if needed (cat, fish, snake). My kids at age 13 are usually still sticking to places close by in the neighborhood, but by 14 are taking longer bike rides or walks across town to the library, etc (so, navigation skills on foot or bike). Sometime in early-mid teen years my kids take public transit independently. Around age 15-16 my older kids have learned how to order things online and manage a bank account with a debit card (as opposed to just having a savings account with no debit card access). Around age 16-17 learning how to manage alone overnight at home - what should be checked at night before going to bed, etc. Knowing how to go and get a hair cut by yourself (how to make an appointment, ask for what you want, tip the stylist), How to eat out at a sit down restaurant (aka, knowing how to tip the server). Skills for age 18 - making appointments for medical/dental, how to renew passport and driver's license alone. I think I'd consider all of those basic skills? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kirstenhill Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Oh, I thought of another one - we insist that all of our kids know how to jump start a car by the time they are driving. It's not taught in drivers' ed! I think I would insist a kid learn this at age 16 even if they weren't driving, because you never know when you might be with a friend who has a car that needs jumped, and a lot of people (even adults we know) seem not to know how to do this). 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Typically developing teen. Age 15. Operate all large appliances in the house (washer, dryer, oven, microwave, stove, dishwasher) Do own laundry including sheets Prepare meals for self Learning to prepare meals for family (if not already there) Learning to drive Clean room Keep room reasonably tidy Know how to do a large subset of household chores (vacuuming, gardening, trash, pet care, etc.) Do homework independently Manage school materials Manage self appropriately in new/uncertain/difficult situations Deal with a reasonable amount of personal discomfort without a fuss Walk/ride bike/skateboard in a safe manner following the rules of the road I'm sure there are more that I've forgotten. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HomeAgain Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 In addition to the above - how to write an email. Not just the basics of grammar and punctuation, but introducing themselves, getting to the point quickly, and writing an appropriate closure. Also, how/when to use cc and bcc. So many teens struggle with this act. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 You didn't specify age, so here are some things that need to be mastered before moving away: sew on a button laundry (sorting, washing, drying, folding/hanging & putting it away) cleaning house - incremental learning but should be able to do all of the tasks by the time they finish high school understand the basics of a checking account, use debit card, make deposit know what the warning lights on the car mean change a tire (or who to contact) get a prescription filled/refilled make their own md/dentist/eye dr. appointments 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Faith-manor Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Asding to this that Mark made all the kids learn to change a tire, change the oil in the car, and use a portable battery unit with jumper cables before they we went with them to get their permanent license. There is a driving test here, so they couldn't take it without one of us agreeing to the use of the car and of course being with them since they were driving on a permit. I think that it very useful. Unfortunately, ds once had to call a tow truck for a tire change because no matter what he did, he could not get the lug nuts off. The tow truck driver said they had been overtightened when he got new tires put on. But at least he knew how to do it! I was a stickler about being able to cook and grocery/meal plan, plus I deliberately took buttons of shirts or pants and made them show me they could sew them back on. My philosophy was once they turn 18, I should be able to retire from that little chore. 🤣 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carrie12345 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 Things already listed plus, CPR/AED/basic first aid. Pet care (for responsibility more than the actual tasks. Basic money management What to do in a basic emergency, like power outage. We don’t focus a lot on car care because I always just pay people to do what needs to be done. My daughter decided doing it herself was a priority, so she learned. Her $1,500 car bought in 2020 is still going strong! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovinmyboys Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 (edited) Some of these I still need to learn! I have never sewn anything in my life. I also don’t really know much about a car- changing a tire or jumping it, but I do think I know the warning lights now (or at least how to google what it is). I have four boys between the ages of 12-17. They are all in a weird mix of very independent and helpless. My 3 older kids could be left home alone for a week and would manage fine as long as money was no issue (I’m sure they would Uber eats half of their meals). They can take care of themselves, but it wouldn’t be the way I would like. They all make their own haircut appointments, buy their own clothes, take public transport or ride their bike places, walk to the grocery store and make easy meals. My 14yr old and 15yr olds regularly babysit. I can’t think of the things they can’t do right now, but they regularly don’t know how to do simple things. ETA: my 14yr old just went to get his laundry out of the dryer and said they were still wet. I asked if he had cleaned out the vent because my clothes are always dry after the dryer cycle. He said he did then told me he pulled them out of the washer early (during the spin cycle) because he wanted to go to bed early. So I’m sure he put a full load of soaked clothes in the dryer. He has been doing his own laundry for 2 years. So he mostly has basic laundry skills but also still learning. Edited March 14 by lovinmyboys 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 I guess my goal is that by their 18th birthday, I should be able to leave them living here for a month and they'd manage. We're not there yet. My 17yos have pretty much done each thing. Either they know how, or they could figure it out with a quick refresher / trial-and-error. If there was something one of them was unsure of, the other one would be able to fill the gap. The thing I feel we're lagging on is knowing when to do things. What is a daily task, weekly, monthly, etc. How to avoid having moldy stuff in the bread basket or the fruit/vegetable drawers. How to be enough steps ahead that you always have what's needed to make dinner, you never run out of clean clothes fit for the occasion, and you can do a quick tidy if someone just invited herself over to visit. I also need to hand over the medical stuff, like making their own appointments. Though, I'm not sure they are allowed to do this, considering I'm always having to sign forms at the health providers. I'd add that NT kids should have experience with the job market by age 16 or 17. They should look for a job, apply, interview, get references, have a job, figure out schedules and transportation, deal with payroll, file their taxes, and, if appropriate, quit or get promoted. Or if there is a volunteer position that is more developmentally beneficial than a paying job, that would qualify. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 My nearly 17yo has been taking care of most things for herself for the past couple of years. Her uncle gives her an allowance to cover transport and fees for her extra curriculars, so she manages all that. Where she lives is safe enough for her to get herself around town. She arrives early for activities in winter so she's inside by dark and he's back from work by the time she needs picking up. Her skills deteriorate when she's with her old mum, of course, because that's how it is with mothers. Most of her deficits are the sort of executive function issues one doesn't really master until there is no back up adult around. She knows how to do each task separately, but it isn't routine to manage all of them yet. She'd be fine on her own as long as nothing especially crazy happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted March 14 Share Posted March 14 I feel like "expect" means two different things. So, there are some things that I would be surprised if I met a typically developing high school student and they couldn't do them. That list is kind of short. I have learned that there is enormous variation in what teens do and don't know how to do. However, I would, for example, be surprised if I found out a teenager didn't know how to make toast in a toaster, or pay for something at a store. And then there are things that I have as an expectation for my own kids, or for my students, and I actively teach, but that I am not surprised that a kid who isn't mine doesn't know. For example, I expect my sons to be able to change the oil or the tire before they get a license. But I wouldn't trust a teenager I didn't know to change the oil on my car! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 15 Author Share Posted March 15 20 hours ago, kirstenhill said: Oh, I thought of another one - we insist that all of our kids know how to jump start a car by the time they are driving. It's not taught in drivers' ed! I think I would insist a kid learn this at age 16 even if they weren't driving, because you never know when you might be with a friend who has a car that needs jumped, and a lot of people (even adults we know) seem not to know how to do this). he won't even get a learner's permit (I had to get him a state ID), but these are things that are part of learning how to do things with a car/license. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 (edited) I've been lazy about making my kids learn the hands-dirty car maintenance. Why? Because cars are so different nowadays. Even my 10yo car doesn't allow me to do certain maintenance tasks. And I don't plan on buying an even older car just for my kids to practice on. Theoretically, I learned how to change the oil when I was a teen. But 40 years have passed, and I've never had to actually change the oil. It's not expensive to pay for an oil change, and you don't have to fuss about the environmental stuff if you have an expert do it. And oil changes aren't needed as often as they used to be. So, that's not high on my priority list for teen education. I've had to change flat tires - the last one was when my kids were about 4, and I made them watch - but my current (2014) car didn't even come with a spare tire. (Theoretically I could buy one, but I'm not going to.) I do need to make sure my kids understand roadside assistance and car insurance before they go on any long jaunts in my car. That is on my very short short list. 😛 They are also going to buy and install the replacement headlight that we need. They know how to look up vehicle problems and solutions as they arise. Obviously they fill gas, tire air, and handle cleaning inside and out. And I plan to make them handle our next car maintenance appointment. Edited March 15 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 15 Author Share Posted March 15 19 hours ago, Faith-manor said: Unfortunately, ds once had to call a tow truck for a tire change because no matter what he did, he could not get the lug nuts off. The tow truck driver said they had been overtightened when he got new tires put on. But at least he knew how to do it! This is so common, we never rely upon the thing that comes with the tire change kit. Dh put a big cross wrench in each car. they're stronger, and you can get more leverage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 15 Author Share Posted March 15 1 minute ago, SKL said: I've had to change flat tires - the last one was when my kids were about 4, and I made them watch - but my current (2014) car didn't even come with a spare tire. (Theoretically I could buy one, but I'm not going to.) that's something that really concerns me. The cans of "inflate your tire" can wreck the tire so it can't be fixed. and depending upon why you have a flat, might be completely worthless. But the reason cars don't come with a spare is to reduce weight. My last car (a 2000) had a full sized spare (which was an upgrade) - and we used it more than once. my current car, has a compact spare (and upgrade from no spare) - and we've had to use it. the thing is, there is no convenient spot to get a flat, and we aren't going to wait hours for someone to come rescue us. being able to change the tire, allows us to go on our way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 4 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: that's something that really concerns me. The cans of "inflate your tire" can wreck the tire so it can't be fixed. and depending upon why you have a flat, might be completely worthless. But the reason cars don't come with a spare is to reduce weight. My last car (a 2000) had a full sized spare (which was an upgrade) - and we used it more than once. my current car, has a compact spare (and upgrade from no spare) - and we've had to use it. the thing is, there is no convenient spot to get a flat, and we aren't going to wait hours for someone to come rescue us. being able to change the tire, allows us to go on our way. We don't have "inflate your tire" stuff either. I know there's a risk of being screwed without a spare. But last I checked, a spare is only good for about 50 miles (I guess you could get a real tire, but in a hybrid, there's hardly any space for anything). Also, a lot of places aren't safe for changing a tire. And then, you have the issue of lug nuts often being too tight. But maybe I should consider buying a spare. I will think about it. TBH it is not that long since I realized my car didn't come with a cleverly hidden spare. 😛 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted March 15 Author Share Posted March 15 23 minutes ago, SKL said: We don't have "inflate your tire" stuff either. I know there's a risk of being screwed without a spare. But last I checked, a spare is only good for about 50 miles (I guess you could get a real tire, but in a hybrid, there's hardly any space for anything). Also, a lot of places aren't safe for changing a tire. And then, you have the issue of lug nuts often being too tight. But maybe I should consider buying a spare. I will think about it. TBH it is not that long since I realized my car didn't come with a cleverly hidden spare. 😛 do you want to be stuck in those places? we've had to change tires on the side of the freeway multiple times. we'd rather change it and get going, than sit there waiting for a tow truck with kids in a car for who knows how long. A full size spare is a regular tire, it doesn't have a limit to how far it can go. (my current car doesn't have room for a full size spare. I'm just glad I have something!) a compact spare does have a distance limit, but it's only supposed to get you somewhere you can get your flat tire fixed/replaced. That's usually well under 50 miles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted March 15 Share Posted March 15 (edited) 10 minutes ago, gardenmom5 said: do you want to be stuck in those places? we've had to change tires on the side of the freeway multiple times. we'd rather change it and get going, than sit there waiting for a tow truck with kids in a car for who knows how long. A full size spare is a regular tire, it doesn't have a limit to how far it can go. (my current car doesn't have room for a full size spare. I'm just glad I have something!) a compact spare does have a distance limit, but it's only supposed to get you somewhere you can get your flat tire fixed/replaced. That's usually well under 50 miles. The last time I had a flat on the freeway (in the middle of winter), I had two screaming tots in the car, and I didn't feel safe changing the tire there. I was concerned that someone could hit my car while I was on the ground next to it, I could be hurt, and my kids would be there alone. So I called roadside assistance, but a nice cop came and changed the tire and we were on our way. Since then, right or wrong, I will drive the car on the flat until I'm in a safer place, and then get roadside assistance, which is a pretty cheap add-on to my car insurance. Nowadays, it's easier than ever to get a relatively safe ride out of a difficult situation. If my kids got stranded like that, we could arrange an uber to get them home or to a safer place (assuming I couldn't just drive there myself). It's not ideal. Having a flat tire is never ideal. Edited March 15 by SKL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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