That is all

[TexasProud]

Not sure why I even try to be honest. You summon up enough courage and put yourself out there for whatever reason: asking for what you need, seeing a therapist, putting your work out there and it is ignored. It feels like the message I get over and over and over is your voice doesn't matter.

I just wish it did. 

Or even worse, you don't know what it is you want/need.  Like the place I need to start...I have nothing.  Several times I have been asked over the past few weeks:  What would success in this area look for you?  How should I measure contribution?  If it doesn't need to be measured...  Plan your career with your lifestyle in mind or your rule of life or whatever.  Imagine what you want your life to look like first, imagine an ideal day, ....

I got nothin. 

That is all

[Kassia]

I'm sorry.  Your voice does matter. You matter.  Sending hugs. 

Edited August 28, 2023 by Kassia

[regentrude]

I am sorry. 
Can you rephrase the questions so they make more sense to you and you have something to answer? From our conversations, I do not think that it is really true that you have "nothing". Maybe these just aren't the right questions for you, the right tools. Maybe "success" isn't the term that speaks to you. 

Can you recall an instance where you simply felt good about doing your work? Where you had a great time creating, were in the flow, enjoyed the work for the process, without needing somebody to validate it? Did it feel good? Would you like to experience more of this? (In the end, this is the man reason that artists make art - not for the audience, but because it feels so good)
You told us that you got feedback about your podcasts, that you have people in faraway countries listening to your devotions. Right there you see that it matters. You don't need to label this as "success" (but I totally would). 
If you don't want to measure, then don't. Many things in life are not measurable. I get tremendous pleasure from hiking, but I do not count miles or hikes or outdoor hours - I enjoy the process for itself.

If the questions do not speak to you, it does not mean you have "nothing". It means these are not good questions for you to ask of yourself.

As for the "ideal" day: could it be that the word "ideal" is just paralyzing because it suggests you must get it right? What would you answer if you were asked instead to describe a day you had experienced as pleasant? What was pleasant about it? I'm sure you have something to tell.

 

[TexasProud]

 

39 minutes ago, regentrude said:

I am sorry. 
Can you rephrase the questions so they make more sense to you and you have something to answer? From our conversations, I do not think that it is really true that you have "nothing". Maybe these just aren't the right questions for you, the right tools. Maybe "success" isn't the term that speaks to you. 

Can you recall an instance where you simply felt good about doing your work? Where you had a great time creating, were in the flow, enjoyed the work for the process, without needing somebody to validate it?

 

No.  The good feelings ONLY came with the comments I received after the performance.  Truth be told, I adore practicing music.  I love singing and imaging myself to be in front of a large crowd, but actually doing it I screw up so badly (unless I am in a group performance.  I do fine like with a solo in a musical. I do not do well singing the special music song with no one around me.).  But I feel best when everyone comes up to me afterwards.  I know.  I know.  That is vain.  But that is the honest truth.

For the writing, it isn't so much that I "enjoy" the writing. it is more like it has to be written and/or I NEED to write it to figure out what I think.  But I enjoy it when someone else comes up to me to say something. 

42 minutes ago, regentrude said:

 

As for the "ideal" day: could it be that the word "ideal" is just paralyzing because it suggests you must get it right? What would you answer if you were asked instead to describe a day you had experienced as pleasant? What was pleasant about it? I'm sure you have something to tell.

 

Yes, that is better.  I have a lot of "pleasant" days.  I have almost no fantastic days, which is what I want.  Well... that isn't fair.  Maybe I would just like to be able to enjoy the "pleasant" days.  And I get tired of "life." I just need to be ok with "life."  With planning a fun get-to-gether with friends over the weekend and instead they are driving because one of their parents was in a horrible car wreck and we are taking everything out of our closet because we have a leak...  Looks like they will have to tear up the slab to get to it....

But that is just life. But it feels like every time I actually plan something fun or am REALLY looking forward to something, things happen.  And yeah,,,  I feel horribly guilty because I should care SO much more about my friend and her mom. Which I do. I just don't know how NOT to care about me, which is what life seems to require. 

[TexasProud]

And yeah, I know with some of the boardies on here facing truly, truly HORRIBLE things, I should be absolutely thrilled at the status of my life.

Never mind....

[regentrude]

So you don't actually enjoy making your devotions and writing??? That's sad. Why do it then?

[TexasProud]

Just now, regentrude said:

So you don't actually enjoy making your devotions and writing??? That's sad. Why do it then?

Like I said before, I write because I have to. I have an idea that has to be put down or more often a question that I am just wrestling with.  But to get it in a format where it is good: substituting action verbs for to be, putting in more concrete descriptions, etc. that is work.  I don't know.  At this point it is something to do and heck I went to seminary for it.  What was really fun was being in the creative writing class and hearing the reactions to my own words.  That was super fun.  I also spent a lot of time encouraging the other writers (and was praised then and in many other groups about how well I do that.). I do enjoy that. I have done that for most of my teaching career, so it was SO nice to hear my own words validated rather helping someone figure out how best to express their own thoughts. 

And yes, please ignore all writing on this site, which gets NO editing and is a stream of consciousness.  As you can see, I am not a natural writer.  One blog post takes a minimum of ten hours for me to get to where it is even passable as far as being literary quality. 

[Indigo Blue]

I would love to read your writing. I also wish Regentrude could share some poetry samples. I understand if you don’t want to share those. 

[EKS]

11 minutes ago, regentrude said:

So you don't actually enjoy making your devotions and writing??? That's sad. Why do it then?

Just because something isn't enjoyed in the moment doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.  I don't enjoy the process of writing--I'm talking about academic writing here--because it's difficult and painful.  But I get tremendous satisfaction from having written.  I'd argue that most things worth doing aren't necessarily enjoyable--and certainly not enjoyable all the time.  Parenting and homeschooling fall into this category.

[TexasProud]

2 minutes ago, EKS said:

Just because something isn't enjoyed in the moment doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.  I don't enjoy the process of writing--I'm talking about academic writing here--because it's difficult and painful.  But I get tremendous satisfaction from having written.  I'd argue that most things worth doing aren't necessarily enjoyable--and certainly not enjoyable all the time.  Parenting and homeschooling fall into this category.

Yes.  Pretty much EVERYTHING worth doing has elements that are not fun. Or at least it has been that way in my experience.

[Ginevra]

4 minutes ago, EKS said:

Just because something isn't enjoyed in the moment doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.  I don't enjoy the process of writing--I'm talking about academic writing here--because it's difficult and painful.  But I get tremendous satisfaction from having written.  I'd argue that most things worth doing aren't necessarily enjoyable--and certainly not enjoyable all the time.  Parenting and homeschooling fall into this category.

I experience a type of fear whenever I start a new painting. Like literally every painting I create, I am at first feeling fear. Fear that I will invest time and art supplies but won’t like what comes of it; fear that it won’t be “good”; fear of I-don’t-know-what. Sometimes, too, I’m partially through the painting and I think I’m going to give up (sometimes, I do); I think it’s crap and nothing good can come of it. But (usually), I just continue on. I keep going. And then, I’m so happy I created something! 

[TexasProud]

1 minute ago, Ginevra said:

I experience a type of fear whenever I start a new painting. Like literally every painting I create, I am at first feeling fear. Fear that I will invest time and art supplies but won’t like what comes of it; fear that it won’t be “good”; fear of I-don’t-know-what. Sometimes, too, I’m partially through the painting and I think I’m going to give up (sometimes, I do); I think it’s crap and nothing good can come of it. But (usually), I just continue on. I keep going. And then, I’m so happy I created something! 

Yes, or the giant feeling of dread before you hit submit.  I guess are you just happy you have it?

It's just when you have one person ( and that is you) that has downloaded your latest podcast... 

I know some of this is because yesterday was the anniversary of my mom's death.  I still have nothing to show for my life that will truly last.  In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  So why do I put effort into things???

[EKS]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  So why do I put effort into things???

Because doing something well, doing the best you can do, is an end in itself.  And doing a shoddy job feels wrong.  At least that's my reason.

[TexasProud]

1 minute ago, EKS said:

Because doing something well, doing the best you can do, is an end in itself.  And doing a shoddy job feels wrong.  At least that's my reason.

I guess that feels nebulous because even that isn't measurable.  How good does it need to be?  How do you know you have truly given it your best?  I don't know how to objectively measure my success.  And if it isn't an objective measure, but just how I feel....that feels rather dangerous as feelings can go way up and way down.  So how will I know if I have achieved success?

[TexasProud]

I need to go continue loading the RV.  We leave Friday.  I need to also try and clean up the disaster area that is a house since everything is displaced because of the leak.  We are just leaving the water off since they can't come until next week and we will be gone.  Sigh... when we come back in October, they will come fix it...  A friend is coming next week with the plumber so that he can see how extensive the problem will be..  

[Heartstrings]

10 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

 In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  So why do I put effort into things???

Because it matters to you.   
 

You’re a Christian, what about “do all things to the glory of God?”  

[regentrude]

28 minutes ago, Indigo Blue said:

I would love to read your writing. I also wish Regentrude could share some poetry samples. I understand if you don’t want to share those. 

I can send you a pm if you're interested

[Indigo Blue]

If nothing we do will matter in 100 years, then, yes, one can reason that nothing we do matters. (Aside from game changing things, I mean, such as finding a cure for cancer). Nothing I draw, say, post here, get upset about, or love will matter. 
 

Why bother? Because what matters is your life, here and now, and all the things you can do and enjoy now, however fleeting in time they may be. 
 

There is no rule that says we have to be “successful”. 

Edited August 28, 2023 by Indigo Blue

[regentrude]

9 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I guess that feels nebulous because even that isn't measurable.  How good does it need to be?  How do you know you have truly given it your best?  I don't know how to objectively measure my success.  And if it isn't an objective measure, but just how I feel....that feels rather dangerous as feelings can go way up and way down.  So how will I know if I have achieved success?

There is no success. The idea of success is a trap.

You give it your best when you devote to it your full attention and concentration and don't think about an external reward.
You give it your best when you make it worth your time and energy.

Edited August 28, 2023 by regentrude

[Heartstrings]

There are probably millions of people out there who have talent and drive but just never are able to find an audience to be “successful”.  
Sometimes it also take time.  I listened to a podcast from day 1 and literally listened to her excitement over a few subscribers, then a few patrons, then 20 patrons, etc.  It took 7 years I think to get to the point of being a “successful” podcast.  Sometimes you just have to be willing to grind.  

[Ginevra]

4 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

Yes, or the giant feeling of dread before you hit submit.  I guess are you just happy you have it?

It's just when you have one person ( and that is you) that has downloaded your latest podcast... 

I know some of this is because yesterday was the anniversary of my mom's death.  I still have nothing to show for my life that will truly last.  In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  So why do I put effort into things???

Well, you know what? 99.99999% of us, this is true for. In 100 years, it is highly unlikely anyone will remember me, know what I was like, or care about whatever I did while I was alive. My paintings will probably all be disintegrated, or cleared out of whatever cloud archives exist in the future. Nobody alive will remember me from real life. My friends, kids, siblings and relatives will all be dead, except for possibly grandkids or great-grands. 
 

Thematically, you say something like this a lot. But this is true for the very vast majority of people since time began. Will it matter in 100 years that I planted a butterfly garden in my yard this year? Will it matter that I hiked 45 miles of a famous hiking trail? Will it matter that I sat beside my mom while she took her last breath? Will it matter that I made delicious brownies that I shared with my coworkers on someone’s birthday? Will it matter that I enjoyed listening to cello? No. Nobody will remember it, nobody will even know about any of those things. Hell, even 20 years from now there is a good chance most people I know now will not remember/know/care. 
 

The measure of doing things, of investing time, love, effort into anything is not how much it will matter in 100 years. Lots and lots of things are and should be done simply for enjoyment in the moment or the near future, for oneself and one’s closest people (or animals, for that much). Almost nobody invests in something that lasts for centuries. You’re setting the bar unreachable high. 

[lauraw4321]

Slight tangent, but @TexasProud's posts seem to warrant this. I have several great grandparents that I didn't meet, but whose life (for better and sometimes for worse) still impact me significantly. My great-grandmother Lyla was said to be a funny, outspoken lady who was a good cook and a lousy housekeeper. She said for years that if she had a front porch on her house she would be able to keep her house clean. She finally got her porch and her house never improved. But my great aunts and uncles spoke about her with such love, it reminds me that having a clean house isn't in my DNA (at least on that side) and that she was still loved for it.

Her husband found creative ways to ensure that his kids could all attend school. He was a farmer and also the night watchman on a barge. During harvest season, he would be so tired that he'd bring his sons to help him on his night shift so that he could sleep some. He never had the cash to pay school fees, so he would volunteer to do jobs at the school in exchange for his kids' fees. He mowed the football field, painted, and even sometimes did janitor duty. Because of him, my grandfather graduated high school and then attended college on the GI bill.

Another great grandparent was an abusive alcoholic drunk. The trauma that my grandmother experienced impacted her, my mother and eventually me. 

All of these things happened well over 100 years ago, but I know them. My kids will know these stories. So I wouldn't discount the impact that your life can have hundreds of years in the future.

[regentrude]

31 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I still have nothing to show for my life that will truly last.  In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  So why do I put effort into things???

Because every act of kindness, every word of truth, every creative work, every moment of sincere joy, every chore  you give your full attention are contributing to the sum of good in the universe. As a Christian, you would call it "to the glory of God".  

[Melissa Louise]

I don't think these cycles of rumination are good for you.

I can't believe I'm saying this - but maybe some CBT?

In the meantime, here's a quote I found useful the last time I went through an existential crisis (last week, lol).

It's Russian and brutal and bleak, but I find that comforting:

Everyday life is a sack full of holes. And you carry it anyway.

~ Marina Tsvetaeva

 

 

 

[regentrude]

49 minutes ago, EKS said:

Just because something isn't enjoyed in the moment doesn't mean it isn't worth doing.  I don't enjoy the process of writing--I'm talking about academic writing here--because it's difficult and painful.  But I get tremendous satisfaction from having written.  I'd argue that most things worth doing aren't necessarily enjoyable--and certainly not enjoyable all the time.  Parenting and homeschooling fall into this category.

But those are things you have to do. Just like work. 

Why pursue a hobby that one doesn't enjoy, and that does not seem to give any satisfaction afterwards? Why not choose something else?

[Ditto]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

It feels like the message I get over and over and over is your voice doesn't matter.

 

39 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I still have nothing to show for my life that will truly last.  In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.

These 2 statements jumped out at me because I feel the very same way.     I have thought so very much about these things and my conclusions about them weight heavily on my heart.    You are not alone, please know that.

[EKS]

Just now, regentrude said:

But those are things you have to do. Just like work. 

Not really--I didn't get two master's degrees and (almost) a second bachelor's because I had to.  I didn't homeschool because I had to.  Technically I didn't parent because I had to either.

2 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Why pursue a hobby that one doesn't enjoy, and that does not seem to give any satisfaction afterwards?

Not not giving satisfaction afterwards would definitely be a problem for me.

[Melissa Louise]

The thing is, you have to be able to hold two thoughts in your mind.

One is that our voices don't, ultimately, matter. There are a million voices out there, all with things to say, and the flat truth is that it's very unlikely our one voice is the one that will make the difference on a global level. Genius is rare, and even then - I am sure there are geniuses who go unheard. It's good to keep this in mind - it brings a certain humility to the task. 

But also - your voice is the only one you have. And it is unique to you and your circumstances. And if you want to use it, you can. Whether it impacts on one person or a thousand or tens of thousands. Or even if the only impact is on you! And that's also good to keep in mind, because it brings a certain surety to the task. 

~

I personally would not write if I was not internally motivated. If I was reliant on audience and feedback to make it worth it. An audience can be hard to find, and an audience can turn. Feedback can be harsh, or weak, or plain misinformed. 

If there was no joy in it, regardless of audience and feedback, I'd find another thing to do. Maybe just keep a journal for myself. 

But anyway - just pick up your sack and trudge on. Yes, your time is spilling out of it moment by moment. No matter. Pick up your daily life and keep going. Don't try to find the mono-story. There are multiple stories at all times.  One story is Texas Proud mattering. One story is Texas Proud ceasing to matter. This is true of all humans. Say to yourself, I am just human. Other humans feel this way. Other humans are beside me, walking with their holey sacks. Here we are together. And then take some comfort from that. Your troubles are part of all our troubles. Others share them. Others find ways to trudge ahead, as will you.

 

[bolt.]

It seems to me that you might be deeply uncomfortable with the idea that you might be average.

Does that sound like it has any truth to it?

[lauraw4321]

18 minutes ago, bolt. said:

It seems to me that you might be deeply uncomfortable with the idea that you might be average.

Does that sound like it has any truth to it?

I think there’s a lot here. 
 

You might like The Liturgy of the Ordinary. 

[Clarita]

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

Like I said before, I write because I have to. I have an idea that has to be put down or more often a question that I am just wrestling with.  But to get it in a format where it is good: substituting action verbs for to be, putting in more concrete descriptions, etc. that is work.  I don't know.  At this point it is something to do and heck I went to seminary for it.

If it's a hobby you don't have to get it good. Who cares what you went to school for, plenty of people don't do what they went to school for. Most of the things I've grinded that hard in life for came with a guaranteed paycheck. I don't think this blog writing sounds like it's kind of bringing you down.

Maybe you should just get a job as a writer. Like a boring writing job where someone tells you what to write and you write it, get it to good, turn it in and they are obligated every time to acknowledge your good work with a check. Sounds trite, but maybe try it out for a while.  If you need to constant pat on the back, don't own your own business, be an employee so you can get a pat on the back every 2 weeks (via paycheck).

[katilac]

17 minutes ago, Clarita said:

 Maybe you should just get a job as a writer. Like a boring writing job where someone tells you what to write and you write it, get it to good, turn it in and they are obligated every time to acknowledge your good work with a check. Sounds trite, but maybe try it out for a while.  If you need to constant pat on the back, don't own your own business, be an employee so you can get a pat on the back every 2 weeks (via paycheck).

It's hard to get writing jobs that comes with a paycheck. Even the very boring ones are in high demand. 

[katilac]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

 One blog post takes a minimum of ten hours for me to get to where it is even passable as far as being literary quality. 

Yeah, that's not sustainable. If you want to do the polishing, for your own self, then do it, but otherwise just consider getting your thoughts on paper as your brain 'needs' you to, without aiming for literary quality. 

1 hour ago, TexasProud said:

In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  

I figure that there are at least 10 presidents who are more than half-forgotten, so I don't feel any great pressure to be remembered. 

[Frances]

2 hours ago, TexasProud said:

I still have nothing to show for my life that will truly last.  In 100 years no one will know I was here. No one will care.  So why do I put effort into things???

So what? What really matters is if you are making a difference now in the lives of others. Why do you care so much about leaving some lasting legacy? Where does that need come from? 

[regentrude]

I think I may have said this before: you could really benefit from some study of Buddhism, especially about the central role of impermanence. 

[EKS]

With regard to mattering in 100 years... The most meaningful thing the vast majority of people will ever do is bring a child into the world and parent that child to the best of their ability.  This is something that will continue to matter, even after a person is gone, assuming your ancestral line (or actually its opposite--is there a word for that?) remains intact.  Having and raising children is a way of shaking hands with the future.  

This reminds me of this passage in Bill Bryson's A Short History of Nearly Everything:

Consider the fact that for 3.8 billion years...every one of your forebears on both sides have been attractive enough to find a mate, healthy enough to reproduce, and sufficiently blessed by fate and circumstances to live long enough to do so.  Not one of your pertinent ancestors was squashed, devoured, drowned, starved, stuck fast, untimely wounded, or otherwise deflected from its life's quest of delivering a tiny charge of genetic material to the right partner at the right moment to perpetuate the only possible sequence of hereditary combinations that could result--eventually, astoundingly, and all to briefly--in you.

 

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, bolt. said:

It seems to me that you might be deeply uncomfortable with the idea that you might be average.

Does that sound like it has any truth to it?

I learned that a long time ago.  I went to college thinking I would be the next Amy Grant ( She was doing her Age to Age tour then.) I was a big deal in my high school.  I wrote songs.  I knew more music theory than anyone I knew.  Went to college and discovered I wasn't special AT ALL.  I was barely talented...if that.

So yeah.  I am, at best, an average writer. 

I am an average mom.

I am an average wife.

I wrote a poem about that once..

[TexasProud]

1 hour ago, lauraw4321 said:

I think there’s a lot here. 
 

You might like The Liturgy of the Ordinary. 

Yes, I own that book.  I have quoted it quite a bit in my blogs, newsletters and such.  I am a paid subscriber to her Substack.  I think I own all of her books.  She is one of the writers I wish I could be...

[Rosie_0801]

Go and make a time capsule.

[TexasProud]

2 hours ago, Ginevra said:

 

The measure of doing things, of investing time, love, effort into anything is not how much it will matter in 100 years. Lots and lots of things are and should be done simply for enjoyment in the moment or the near future, for oneself and one’s closest people (or animals, for that much).

But that is just it... I don't have a clue what I "enjoy."  So even that leaves me stuck. 

[Frances]

9 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

I learned that a long time ago.  I went to college thinking I would be the next Amy Grant ( She was doing her Age to Age tour then.) I was a big deal in my high school.  I wrote songs.  I knew more music theory than anyone I knew.  Went to college and discovered I wasn't special AT ALL.  I was barely talented...if that.

So yeah.  I am, at best, an average writer. 

I am an average mom.

I am an average wife.

I wrote a poem about that once..

At least you’re not below average. Since you don’t have to work and seem to have lots of free time, why not focus on something attainable like being an above average volunteer and making a difference in the lives of others in the here and now. Less time thinking and more time doing for others might be very beneficial.

Edited August 28, 2023 by Frances

[elegantlion]

I heard this term today about finding joy in life, Ikigai. Theres a diagram at the end of the article that is interesting. 

 https://www.japan.go.jp/kizuna/2022/03/ikigai_japanese_secret_to_a_joyful_life.html

Edited August 28, 2023 by elegantlion

[regentrude]

5 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

 I don't have a clue what I "enjoy." 

Anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure, is a hallmark sign of clinical depression and can occur with other mental illnesses. 

Eta: are you possibly overthinking? Things many people enjoy are good food, hikes in nature, listening to music, reading, getting together with friends, playing board games, gardening, sewing, debating, helping as volunteers, teaching.... if you really cannot think of ANYthing you enjoy doing, you need professional help.

Edited August 28, 2023 by regentrude

[Frances]

7 minutes ago, TexasProud said:

But that is just it... I don't have a clue what I "enjoy."  So even that leaves me stuck. 

I highly doubt that is true, since you already mentioned things in this thread that brought you joy. It sounds like being recognized for being a good writer or singer brings you joy. And practicing music is something you enjoy. Certainly singing seems to bring you joy. Do you know how fortunate you are to have the singing ability to be in a choir? I’m very envious.

Edited August 28, 2023 by Frances

[Rosie_0801]

You enjoy being sociable.
You enjoy being productive.
You enjoy being validated.
You enjoy creation.
 

[Melissa Louise]

3 minutes ago, regentrude said:

Anhedonia, the inability to feel pleasure, is a hallmark sign of clinical depression and can occur with other mental illnesses. 

When I was anhedonic, the joy/pleasure question made no sense to me. 

The way I could identify the activities worth putting time into was by considering how they impacted my experience of time.

Some activities generated flow, and in a flow state, time became unnoticeable. Writing had this relationship to time, and so did hand sewing, walking, and time with friends.

Once I knew an activity could generate this timelessness/flow state, I did more of it. 

And less of the things that generated a heavy sense of time-drag. 

Over time, I have been able to experience and attach emotion to these states, but I didn't need to be able to feel (or identify feeling) to be able to identify more/less activities.

Sometimes we just have to get creative and hack our brains.

 

 

 

[Clarita]

1 minute ago, TexasProud said:

Yes, I own that book.  I have quoted it quite a bit in my blogs, newsletters and such.  I am a paid subscriber to her Substack.  I think I own all of her books.  She is one of the writers I wish I could be...

Read the book https://www.amazon.com/Peak-Secrets-New-Science-Expertise/dp/0544947223/ref=sr_1_4?crid=223ZNI8RZ16G1&keywords=Peak&qid=1693263978&sprefix=peak+%2Caps%2C174&sr=8-4.

You can be what you want to be. Now, like you've said you have all the time in the world to do it, own that. This book will tell you what it takes to maybe get there. Stop wishing and decide whether you want to really pursue things or not, with a realistic view of how much sacrifice, time, and energy it's going to take. 

[Catwoman]

3 hours ago, Indigo Blue said:

I would love to read your writing. I also wish Regentrude could share some poetry samples. I understand if you don’t want to share those. 

@regentrude’s poetry is AMAZING!!! She is incredibly talented.

[Indigo Blue]

18 minutes ago, Catwoman said:

@regentrude’s poetry is AMAZING!!! She is incredibly talented.

Thanks. I’m just about to go read now.

[Ditto]

2 hours ago, lauraw4321 said:

 

You might like The Liturgy of the Ordinary. 

I have read this book and it is wonderful!