Did you travel when your YA kids travel?

[Grace Hopper]

I mean as single young adults traveling with friends as opposed to a married couple. 
 

My kids are well travelled and when they go international, I am always reluctant to plan a trip of my own at the same time. I don’t really worry about them traveling, but there’s still a part of me that feels the need to be a reliable emergency contact. Just wondering if it’s just me or if others feel the same. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

You follow them on the trip?  My YA would not want me to do that.  And I can be contacted at home just as easily as on the road, if not easier.  So the answer is no. 

[Pawz4me]

I figure I can be a reliable emergency contact anywhere that my cell phone works. So it wouldn't occur to me to hang around home just because one of the boys was traveling.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Oops. I see that I misread. It looks like you want to stay home when they are traveling. That wouldn’t occur to me to do on purpose. Like Pawz, I have a cell phone. Sometimes I am home anyway but not because I feel like I have to. 

[HomeAgain]

I've always felt comfortable making sure they had contacts close to them.  We have a large network, so anywhere my kid is at help can be arranged for them within 1-2 hours.

Oldest ds is 24.  We absolutely have gone on our own vacation the same time as his.  It doesn't matter much if we're home or across the country.  The only thing I wouldn't feel comfortable with is a cruise, where it would be difficult to get home in an emergency.

[Kassia]

I do consider this with my Aspie ds who travels 10,000 miles to see his fiance.  I prefer to be available to him if he needs anything for the actual traveling part of the trip.  Once he's there, I don't feel needed anymore.  For his next trip, we are traveling on the same day as he is on a long road trip that can't be changed so I am a bit nervous about that, but he's experienced enough now that I hope he'll be okay.  I'll check with his brothers (very experienced travelers) to see if either will be available if needed.  I'm mostly worried about what will happen if a flight is canceled and he can't finish the trip.  

Edited June 26, 2023 by Kassia

[Faith-manor]

We have cell phones, so I don't worry about it. They also have siblings and my mom, the parents of life partner's/spouses at least for two of them, so we aren't the only people they can call it something goes wrong. From a very long distance, apart from sending money and giving advice, there is little I could do rapidly anyway. Both of those things are also things I can do from the phone or my laptop which is usually with me.

[SHP]

10 minutes ago, Pawz4me said:

I figure I can be a reliable emergency contact anywhere that my cell phone works. So it wouldn't occur to me to hang around home just because one of the boys was traveling.

This. And if there was some big emergency that required me to travel internationally, I can leave from any airport. 

[Grace Hopper]

53 minutes ago, Jean in Newcastle said:

You follow them on the trip?  My YA would not want me to do that.  And I can be contacted at home just as easily as on the road, if not easier.  So the answer is no. 

Lol I am admittedly jealous of their adventures and would love to tag along, lol! But no, I don’t mean I’d literally follow them.
 

Thanks for all these replies.  I wonder if it’s more a mental thing for me, fearing I wouldn’t be able to relax on my own vacation if I felt the need to be vigilant that they might have an international emergency requiring a family member to  quickly show up at an international destination. It gives me peace of mind to keep my passport current even though I personally haven’t used it much in recent years. 
 

I guess it’s true that as long as my destination has cell phone coverage and airport access, it probably doesn’t matter if I’m home or elsewhere. I appreciate the recommendation that we just don’t actively travel (ie, flights) on the same day. 

[MEmama]

Mine goes to university overseas and I don't always even know when he's traveling, so no. 
 

He usually tells me where he is and texts a thousand times a day (which I love), but sometimes he and friends have a free weekend and find good flights and just take off. Apparently he was in Poland during study week.. I kinda would have liked to know about that one, especially right now.

This spring DH and I went to Portugal while DS was somewhere else (Vienna and Bratislava IIRC). We were going to meet up in Dublin but plans changed and he met us in Portugal instead. That was a big treat 🙂 

[Loowit]

I let them know that we will be out of town, but have out phones on us.  If we could be out of cell coverage part of the time I will let them know, that they can contact a set relative if they have an emergency.  I have never worried about it enough to stay home, but I have always made sure that there is an emergency contact available just in case.  I don't do that with my middle as much because I have no idea what he is up to most of the time.  I figure if something happens to him the Red Cross or Marine Corps will find a way to get in contact with us.  He set me and his dad as the emergency contacts.

[catz]

I guess I don't feel that way, because the summer before my oldest went to college my 2 kids (1 young adult, 1 rising freshman high school student) went to a week of camp out in the boonies.  And I flew to Boston with my husband as a tourist while he was mostly going to be working.  

If I am going to an area with good cell coverage, I never feel like I am not a reliable contact.  My oldest kid just graduated from college and was away, so I don't know, this just wouldn't occur to me to worry about.

 

[Starr]

Mine always had plenty of contact numbers if they couldn’t reach us including some from here,  on the Site of All Things . 

[wintermom]

My dc don't travel all that much, and neither do I, but I can understand wanting to have a reliable emergency contact available. I guess if I was planning a trip where I wouldn't be easily contacted by cell phone, I would ensure that the dc had alternative contacts, like grandma, or an aunt or uncle. 

It also takes me more time and planning to travel, so I'd have lots of time to let the dc know where and when I'd be travelling. I'd expect travel may be a little more spontaneous with young adults, and it would be up to them to let me know an emergency contact to let them know if anything happened at home. 

[Bambam]

I wouldn't hesitate to travel while my adult kids were also traveling, but I would make sure they know where we are headed. 
We generally try to update a family message group daily with where we are/what we are doing. 
If I were going somewhere my cell didn't work, I would definitely let them know, and they do the same for me (one sometimes goes with BF to a extreme rural part of South TX where there are no cell signals), but that just is what it is. 
I don't assume there is more likely to be trouble while they are traveling than when they are wherever they live? Maybe I'm wrong about that? 

 

[QueenCat]

It never occurred to me not to travel when they travel. 

[YaelAldrich]

This spring I was forced to be travelling from Australia to the US while my DH was travelling from the US to Australia AND my two younger children ( DD16 and DS 13) needed to take a plane from Adelaide to Melbourne to meet my DH there.  It was nuts and that was the first time I really worried when I we were all in different places.  That was because we didn't have anyone close by that we could ask to drop everything to help the kids if we were out of phone/internet contact because the flights were so long.  I was very prayerful during that time.  

Other than that I am pretty chill about the travel thing as we travel so very much and the children (and young adults) can mostly handle things (except when they don't - oy!)

[Grace Hopper]

2 hours ago, YaelAldrich said:

This spring I was forced to be travelling from Australia to the US while my DH was travelling from the US to Australia AND my two younger children ( DD16 and DS 13) needed to take a plane from Adelaide to Melbourne to meet my DH there.  It was nuts and that was the first time I really worried when I we were all in different places.  That was because we didn't have anyone close by that we could ask to drop everything to help the kids if we were out of phone/internet contact because the flights were so long.  I was very prayerful during that time.  

Other than that I am pretty chill about the travel thing as we travel so very much and the children (and young adults) can mostly handle things (except when they don't - oy!)

This describes how I think I would feel - nervous if we were all en route differently at the same time. 
 

Maybe it’s really just my least experienced intl traveling kid going on their longest flight yet. DH wants to do some travel at the same time and my knee jerk reaction is to not schedule it that way. I wondered if others felt the same.