College Class of 2027 - Rising Sophomores - Check in Here

[ScoutTN]

35 minutes ago, Sneezyone said:

My friend started as an East Asian Languages and Cultures major and now lives in Belgium, works at the Hague. We couldn't drag her back to the U.S. (we've tried) 🙂 There's hope!

Thank you for posting this!

~ mom of a French major 😱😬😎

[Roadrunner]

1 hour ago, freesia said:

(((Hug))) I hope things are actually ok. Iirc your ds started more recently than many of ours. It can be a tough adjustment. My present freshman’s lack of communication has been hard on my anxiety. 

They just started in a way. Crazy. 
I think he is fine, but I wouldn’t know if he weren’t. 😂

 

[Miss Tick]

13 minutes ago, Roadrunner said:

They just started in a way. Crazy. 
I think he is fine, but I wouldn’t know if he weren’t. 😂

 

I felt the same about mine. Once I saw him in person I felt much more confident. In fact, he said he was so not homesick that he was thinking about spending some time abroad. 😄

I dearly hope yours is similar! 🤞

[freesia]

2 hours ago, ScoutTN said:

Thank you for posting this!

~ mom of a French major 😱😬😎

My mom was a French major and ended up in the Foreign Service ( serving in Vietnam in the mid-60’s—but I’m not sure that part is very helpful!)

[ByGrace3]

On 10/6/2023 at 7:46 PM, Miss Tick said:

Not quite at the halfway point of the semester and I have one considering a major change. First one in this thread?

Mine told me she wanted to add a second minor  . . . in Missions. It's fine and not surprising but  I just want to be sure it doesn't add to my bill lol 

Just got the ok from her coach yesterday that she is allowed to come home next week for fall break. Thankful I bought the ticket already and took a chance. College athletics are a pain. 

[idnib]

DS is doing okay I think. He did well on this chem exam, other exams still not returned. He went to a local cemetery tour and a lecture on owl feathers vs feathers of other birds. So he at least has his sea legs enough to fit in some extras.

[gstharr]

Since i just saw an Uber acknowledgment that my kid took a ride to an Amtrak station yesterday at 6:00 a.m., , and today being a school holiday, i can only assume that he is off to see his high school sweetie attending college 3 hours away. So, I think he is  not having difficulty adjusting.  Can't ask him about this trip w/o revealing my source.

[ByGrace3]

3 hours ago, gstharr said:

Since i just saw an Uber acknowledgment that my kid took a ride to an Amtrak station yesterday at 6:00 a.m., , and today being a school holiday, i can only assume that he is off to see his high school sweetie attending college 3 hours away. So, I think he is  not having difficulty adjusting.  Can't ask him about this trip w/o revealing my source.

I am a big fan of Life 360 lol 

[catz]

3 hours ago, gstharr said:

Since i just saw an Uber acknowledgment that my kid took a ride to an Amtrak station yesterday at 6:00 a.m., , and today being a school holiday, i can only assume that he is off to see his high school sweetie attending college 3 hours away. So, I think he is  not having difficulty adjusting.  Can't ask him about this trip w/o revealing my source.

This is so funny. 🤣  My husband has access to my daughter's bank card (for ability to deposit - she is using for books, etc) and has spied a couple times.  Like we know she bought something at a hip vintage store a couple weekends ago!  Tried a couple restaurants with friends.  She is in a big urban setting, so it's interesting.  She is also definitely adjusting extremely well. 

She is a music student and was just cast into opera as a freshman which was unexpected.  She could not be more delighted.   Sounds like midterms went well last week too.  She is rocking this college thing.  It's parents weekend this weekend but the timing didn't work for us and hotels are $$$$$ that weekend (home NFL game is happening?  I have no idea.)  We are going to visit in a couple weeks though.  I am excited.  For various reasons, my husband hasn't even been on the campus yet so it will be fun showing him around.  Plus it's nice having an excuse to visit someplace that is fun to visit anyway.  I'm sure we'll hit some museums and restaurants too.

[gstharr]

1 hour ago, ByGrace3 said:

I am a big fan of Life 360 lol 

I had to look this up.  I don't think I could get him to join.  Maybe, i might really not want to know.

[ByGrace3]

9 hours ago, gstharr said:

I had to look this up.  I don't think I could get him to join.  Maybe, i might really not want to know.

Our whole family is on it so they are used to it as soon as they get cell phones. They stalk me too  . . . heaven forbid I go to a restaurant without them. I get bombarded with hate texts. "How could you go without me???" "Can you bring me home...." lol

[ScoutTN]

11 hours ago, ByGrace3 said:

I am a big fan of Life 360 lol 

I just use Find My Phone.

 

[Sneezyone]

I've been banned from find my phone and other similar apps since high school. Srsly. She informs me of what I need to know. It's both nerve-wracking and character-building.

Anyone planning to bring their babies home for Thanksgiving? I think I can swing it with airline miles and a $10 bill so I might gift her that plus the shoes - OR - headphones she wants for her birthday, but not both.

The not-so-subtle Amazon links in my messages are annoying but effective.

Edited October 10, 2023 by Sneezyone

[ByGrace3]

12 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

I've been banned from find my phone and other similar apps since high school. Srsly. She informs me of what I need to know. It's both nerve-wracking and character-building.

Anyone planning to bring their babies home for Thanksgiving? I think I can swing it with airline miles and a $10 bill so I might gift her that plus the shoes - OR - headphones she wants for her birthday, but not both.

The not-so-subtle Amazon links in my messages are annoying but effective.

I keep getting Amazon links with "mom, can you order this for me and take the money from my account." She knows dang well I'm not taking money out of her account . . . but my dh isn't going to let that go on much longer lol

 

We are flying dd home for Thanksgiving. She has a competition in Nebraska the first weekend and her grandfather and I are flying up to see her compete and then flying her home with us. Not sure what I would do without her Papa's airline miles this year. So thankful for him! 

Edited October 10, 2023 by ByGrace3

[idnib]

Just sent DS some Halloween candy to hand out to dorm mates (hopefully!) and he's pretty happy with that.

[ScoutTN]

10 minutes ago, idnib said:

Just sent DS some Halloween candy to hand out to dorm mates (hopefully!) and he's pretty happy with that.

Dd just left to drive back to school - taking her mermaid costume, so she’ll be ready for Halloween! 

[Sneezyone]

3 hours ago, ByGrace3 said:

I keep getting Amazon links with "mom, can you order this for me and take the money from my account." She knows dang well I'm not taking money out of her account . . . but my dh isn't going to let that go on much longer lol

 

We are flying dd home for Thanksgiving. She has a competition in Nebraska the first weekend and her grandfather and I are flying up to see her compete and then flying her home with us. Not sure what I would do without her Papa's airline miles this year. So thankful for him! 

We've had random ($20<) medical expenses come up and she keeps wanting to 'charge' them to Dad. No, ma'am. These are normal adult expenses that we provide funding for as part of your monthly allotment. That said, I did order an extra FSA card for her to take back in January. SMH. 

[Eos]

On 10/9/2023 at 11:31 AM, ByGrace3 said:

I am a big fan of Life 360 lol 

My three youngers have shared their locations with each other which is both sweet and funny.  "OK, he's almost home - no wait, he stopped at gf's.  Let's just eat."

[Roadrunner]

So mine seems fairly content with his life. He doesn’t find college to be particularly challenging. Nothing like what I put him through in high school it seems. 😂 

[mlktwins]

On 10/9/2023 at 12:55 PM, gstharr said:

I had to look this up.  I don't think I could get him to join.  Maybe, i might really not want to know.

If you are paying for the phone and service, he will join 😁. Both of mine are on it with no issues - we pay for their phone service for now. I think they check up more on us empty nesters than we check up on them. One of my boys has a friend group on life 360 too - separate from the 4 of us.

[Arcadia]

Kid is not fully recovered but well enough to eat Panda Express for two days in a roll. He has tried their Apple Pie Roll and he can order from their app so he doesn’t need to stand in line.  He told me that one roommate eats instant noodles, one roommate use frozen meals to cook, and one roommate he doesn’t know since he doesn’t see him during meal times. Their meal plans are costly so not surprised that many are buffering the cost with instant noodles and microwaveable meals. The meal plan that covers all meals cost close to $700 per month. 

[mlktwins]

Both of my boys are doing good so far.

There has been A LOT of sickness at DS1's school (mono, flu, covid, strep). He managed to avoid it for 6 weeks, but was just a minor cold and cough. Both he and his roommate have air purifiers that run 24/7 so I think that has helped. Plus this kid takes daily vitamins and gets 8 hours of sleep per night. Mr. Party Animal he is 😁. He loves his school and isn't homesick at all. I went to visit him overnight a few weekends ago and he looks good. At JMU, kids have to decide in early October if they want to live on campus next year or move off campus (there isn't a lot of upper classman housing) - that was stressful. He decided to live on campus one more year and plans to room with his current roommate. They have 2 friends who live across the hall who are doing the same thing - same dorm. They all plan to get an apartment off campus for junior year. This kid is doing good in his classes so far (mostly A's and a couple of B's on assignments), but has a dreaded art history exam on Monday. My boys are not into art and art history and both are taking it. Their least favorite class this semester. He is coming home Tuesday for his fall break. His girlfriend is on break now and is visiting him at school this weekend 😬. Not even going to say anymore about that -- LOL - but we love her.

DS2 does not love the college experience at all and wants to come home every weekend, which he has most of them. He wouldn't love being away at any college. His grades are stellar and I just want to keep his spirits up so home he comes (we are about an hour away). He is trying out for the esports team for spring so I think he will want to stay there more often on the weekends and will have some people to hang with. He is home now for fall break and will have one evening to hang with his brother before I have to take him back.

So far no plans for changes to their majors. I'm trying to get them to think about a minor, but they are there yet. DS1 applied to the Honors College and should find out about that sometime this month. DS2 declined Honors College sometime this summer. It was good decision as he would be even more miserable than he already is 🤪.

Will be doing a lot of driving this weekend picking people up and taking them back -- LOL. All worth it though.

 

[freesia]

Talked to ds today. I finally found a way to ask how his grades are without it coming off like I’m pressuring him or he needs to get straight A’s. He is above what he needs to keep his scholarship and seems relieved about that (he hadn’t known he needed a specific GPA—or rather hadn’t listened when I told him that this summer) He says his calculus prof and I would be friends—that she teaches like me. He’s planning on taking her for Calc 2 which I’m taking as a compliment 😃. 
 

Idk if I mentioned that I let dd get BeReal which has allowed us to see what he’s doing. He is studying and doing fun things. 
 

I pick him up Weds for fall break. He’s looking forward to being home and sleeping. I’ll probably miss the first of dd’s soccer playoff game which is sad, but with it to have him home. I asked him what he wanted to eat and he said beef—but not ground or wet. Later he texted he wanted chili—I bit my tongue and did not text back that chili is made if ground beef and is wet!

launched ds is also coming for the weekend so there will be 3 kids home which will be a lot louder than we are used to!

[ByGrace3]

Well... dd had her first visit home this weekend. I remember well the chafing one feels when going from complete independence at college to back to a family, but I think I forgot about it. 🙃 DH had to have a gentle chat with her on the way to the airport. Dh will see her in 2 weeks at her first collegiate meet and I will see her in a month at another meet and then Thanksgiving break. It was hard to see her go but she is definitely enjoying expanding her wings (while we still pay all of the bills.) Trying to explain that paying for your coffee, extra groceries, eating out, and extras is not really a good picture of adult reality. 

She is planning to do a ministry job this summer that will not make any money and at the rate she is running through her savings, she will probably need to get an on campus job next semester. All part of growing up. Hope she learns it fast! 

[Eos]

Dd is here, and all of her sibs which is lovely.  Oldest ds leaves today but we had family dinner last night and everyone got caught up on her day to day. Dd is really happy, loves her classes, loves her profs, loves the lifestyle.  "Nourished, hydrated, in my lane."

I asked her about speaking in class and whether all the kids do it and she told me that there's not a small number of kids who are scrolling on their phones in class, even in the front row.  I guess I should know this but for goodness sake!  They or more likely their parents are paying north of 80K a year to be on their phones???  Speechless.  She gave me the biggest most deserved eye roll I have ever received when I asked her if she ever had her phone out during class. 

Edited October 16, 2023 by Eos

[chiguirre]

15 hours ago, ByGrace3 said:

Trying to explain that paying for your coffee, extra groceries, eating out, and extras is not really a good picture of adult reality. 

I get your frustration, but I wanted to put it in perspective. New recruits in the military also live this lifestyle. They live in barracks, eat at the mess, get their health insurance paid for, etc. Their salary can go to typical young adult stuff: car ownership, eating out, buying coffee or the even worse for you energy drinks, video games. It's part of the growing up process and even people who are responsible for our defense aren't allowed loose on the world until they've matured a bit. Eventually they are ready for the responsibility but it takes baby steps to get there. 

[ScoutTN]

1 hour ago, chiguirre said:

I get your frustration, but I wanted to put it in perspective. New recruits in the military also live this lifestyle. They live in barracks, eat at the mess, get their health insurance paid for, etc. Their salary can go to typical young adult stuff: car ownership, eating out, buying coffee or the even worse for you energy drinks, video games. It's part of the growing up process and even people who are responsible for our defense aren't allowed loose on the world until they've matured a bit. Eventually they are ready for the responsibility but it takes baby steps to get there. 

This. It’s ok for college kids to exult in their new-found independence. They’ll grow into the real thing. 

[ByGrace3]

1 hour ago, chiguirre said:

I get your frustration, but I wanted to put it in perspective. New recruits in the military also live this lifestyle. They live in barracks, eat at the mess, get their health insurance paid for, etc. Their salary can go to typical young adult stuff: car ownership, eating out, buying coffee or the even worse for you energy drinks, video games. It's part of the growing up process and even people who are responsible for our defense aren't allowed loose on the world until they've matured a bit. Eventually they are ready for the responsibility but it takes baby steps to get there. 

Oh, I totally get that and I wouldn't change what we are doing -- I just get frustrated with the typical 18 year old attitude of thinking "I am an adult and don't need my parents" and it seeming like a hardship to be back "home" with familial relationships that actually expect something from you. (mind you I didn't ask her to lift a finger with a single chore while she was home) when in fact -- parents are paying for school, car insurance, health insurance, gas, medical bills, cell phone, meal plan etc. Paying for your own Chik fil A and Starbucks does not an adult make 😉 She is a great kid and will figure it all out, it's just an awkward stage. I have just been thinking a lot about the whole situation lately--we are Christians and this social construct of 18 being an "adult" is not in the Bible you know? lol The whole parental authority with an unmarried adult is a weird stage. We give a ton of freedom and always have. We are not controlling or super legalistic. We aren't helicopter parents . . . but navigating a healthy boundary/authority is the goal. Some of the stuff from this weekend rubs me wrong because it had. nothing to do with authority and everything to do with mutual respect and honor. We will work it out and honestly, she is doing amazing and we are so proud of her. Like every new stage of parenting she gets to be the trial and error since she is the oldest. Poor thing lol Like we always tell her, sorry, we are making this up as we go along. 😜

[gstharr]

On 10/15/2023 at 10:47 AM, mlktwins said:

If you are paying for the phone and service, he will join 😁. Both of mine are on it with no issues - we pay for their phone service for now. I think they check up more on us empty nesters than we check up on them. One of my boys has a friend group on life 360 too - separate from the 4 of us.

I am paying for his phone service, but overall I have very little economic leverage on this kid. He would find some way to avoid it.  Plus, he has had a phone for 10 years (so that he could call from summer programs, etc) ,  and I would feel awkward trying to impose it on him now.  

[cintinative]

4 minutes ago, gstharr said:

I am paying for his phone service, but overall I have very little economic leverage on this kid. He would find some way to avoid it.  Plus, he has had a phone for 10 years (so that he could call from summer programs, etc) ,  and I would feel awkward trying to impose it on him now.  

I have a funny story about how we got life 360 but my kid is not in college. So last year my son was a relatively new driver and was driving in pouring down rain/storm to Chick-fil-a to meet some friends.  My husband passed him on the road and my son didn't have his lights on.  So husband texted him to use lights when he drives in the rain. We heard nothing. We tried calling. No answer.  We texted again. No answer. At this point we were worried that he had an accident. He should have arrived at least a half hour before that. So we were on our way to a meeting that was just past the chick-fil-a and my husband and i stopped there to see if he made it okay.  He was really irritated/embarrassed that we came--he had turned his phone off. We told him he needed to keep his phone on, and answer it if we called. The Life 360 was an easy pitch because now we can see he is sitting in the chick-fil-a instead of texting and calling to make sure he made it. 

[ScoutTN]

6 hours ago, cintinative said:

I have a funny story about how we got life 360 but my kid is not in college. So last year my son was a relatively new driver and was driving in pouring down rain/storm to Chick-fil-a to meet some friends.  My husband passed him on the road and my son didn't have his lights on.  So husband texted him to use lights when he drives in the rain. We heard nothing. We tried calling. No answer.  We texted again. No answer. At this point we were worried that he had an accident. He should have arrived at least a half hour before that. So we were on our way to a meeting that was just past the chick-fil-a and my husband and i stopped there to see if he made it okay.  He was really irritated/embarrassed that we came--he had turned his phone off. We told him he needed to keep his phone on, and answer it if we called. The Life 360 was an easy pitch because now we can see he is sitting in the chick-fil-a instead of texting and calling to make sure he made it. 

I use Find My Phone on Dd’s phone and the locator on Ds’ exactly this way. Kids are not embarrassed or annoyed, parents have info. 

Edited October 17, 2023 by ScoutTN

[ByGrace3]

4 hours ago, cintinative said:

I have a funny story about how we got life 360 but my kid is not in college. So last year my son was a relatively new driver and was driving in pouring down rain/storm to Chick-fil-a to meet some friends.  My husband passed him on the road and my son didn't have his lights on.  So husband texted him to use lights when he drives in the rain. We heard nothing. We tried calling. No answer.  We texted again. No answer. At this point we were worried that he had an accident. He should have arrived at least a half hour before that. So we were on our way to a meeting that was just past the chick-fil-a and my husband and i stopped there to see if he made it okay.  He was really irritated/embarrassed that we came--he had turned his phone off. We told him he needed to keep his phone on, and answer it if we called. The Life 360 was an easy pitch because now we can see he is sitting in the chick-fil-a instead of texting and calling to make sure he made it. 

My funny Life 360 story for this year -- I checked in on dd the first few days of college and I see her circle in the middle of a field in the middle of nowhere about a mile away from campus. I had a mini panic only to realize a few minutes later that the powerlifting facility is about a mile from campus . .  .  in the middle of a field 🫣 I am glad I didn't text or call in a panic and let my brain have a reasonable understanding after a hot minute. 

[Sneezyone]

Does no one else find it odd to check in on almost adults? I get that they need our financial info for school (I WANT be a sleuth) but restrain myself b/c I don't think I *should* check in on my almost adult kiddo all the time, or hold our financial support over her head like a cudgel.

Her GF is visiting this week. Not my monkeys, not my circus. We like GF too and have rules for OUR home, but not their relationship, which is largely out of sight. DD's grandma is also visiting her at school (I bit my tongue b/c history) but it's just not my business. We have a POA. She is checking in voluntarily from time to time.

It's HARD and uncomfy to let go but why is more necessary? I can't imagine doing any more/less with DS. What more do you expect? When they successfully launch, they shouldn't be regularly checking with mom/dad for approval of movements and they don't need me to investigate their whereabouts. *shrug*

Edited October 17, 2023 by Sneezyone

[Roadrunner]

No, I find it odd that one would go with interacting with a kid daily while they live with you to “off you go to college, you are an adult.” In my culture we interact and check on each other daily no matter the age. We are all extremely close. We talk to our parents daily. 

[idnib]

Just now, Roadrunner said:

No, I find it odd that one would go with interacting with a kid daily while they live with you to “off you go to college, you are an adult.” In my culture we interact and check on each other daily no matter the age. We are all extremely close. We talk to our parents daily. 

I'm from a similar culture and also talk to DS just about daily, as well as my brother and parents. I still don't do the phone tracking though. We wouldn't have liked that when we were at college and so we don't do it. We're two Gen X latchkey kids so it might come from there.

[rzberrymom]

I don’t track her phone either. You’re not alone.

[Shoeless]

14 hours ago, chiguirre said:

I get your frustration, but I wanted to put it in perspective. New recruits in the military also live this lifestyle. They live in barracks, eat at the mess, get their health insurance paid for, etc. Their salary can go to typical young adult stuff: car ownership, eating out, buying coffee or the even worse for you energy drinks, video games. It's part of the growing up process and even people who are responsible for our defense aren't allowed loose on the world until they've matured a bit. Eventually they are ready for the responsibility but it takes baby steps to get there. 

There's only so much the military can do to reign in dumb decisions in the newly enlisted. When I arrived at my training station, I had to sit through a class on why it's a bad idea to buy a car and/or get married right then. There was a big trend of brand new airmen rushing out and getting a car they could not afford and/or a wife they didn't know well. My roommate got married after knowing a guy for 6 weeks. Another friend married a woman with a kid from a previous marriage. They divorced after 4 months. 

There's something about the combo of new freedom plus a steady paycheck plus the high of making it through basic training that leads to very bad decisions for a lot of new grads.

[Sneezyone]

4 minutes ago, Shoeless said:

There's only so much the military can do to reign in dumb decisions in the newly enlisted. When I arrived at my training station, I had to sit through a class on why it's a bad idea to buy a car and/or get married right then. There was a big trend of brand new airmen rushing out and getting a car they could not afford and/or a wife they didn't know well. My roommate got married after knowing a guy for 6 weeks. Another friend married a woman with a kid from a previous marriage. They divorced after 4 months. 

There's something about the combo of new freedom plus a steady paycheck plus the high of making it through basic training that leads to very bad decisions for a lot of new grads.

These are also *choices* that young adults get to make. They will live and learn. There's relatively little harm from such experiences (absent kids). I raised our kids with the expectation that we would *help* not *control* or spy on them after they left and we allowed increasing levels of autonomy from age 13 on. It boggles the mind (however much I'd like it) that I could track my dd at this point. We raised her to be independent/push back on my intrusion and be responsible. She's doing that and living the dream. DS will be the same. You graduate and go to college and earn the right to have more autonomy.

Edited October 17, 2023 by Sneezyone

[Shoeless]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

These are also *choices* that young adults get to make. They will live and learn. There's relatively little harm from such experiences (absent kids).

I think there's lingering harm from getting in over your head financially on a car payment, (and ruining your credit), or paying for a divorce from a person that just wanted you for TriCare and BAQ. 

The military can't stop them from doing these dumb things was my point. Once they get to their duty station, they're free to make as many bad choices as they like. All the military can do is say "That's a bad idea", but they can't stop them. 

[Sneezyone]

2 minutes ago, Shoeless said:

I think there's lingering harm from getting in over your head financially on a car payment, (and ruining your credit), or paying for a divorce from a person that just wanted you for TriCare and BAQ. 

The military can't stop them from doing these dumb things was my point. Once they get to their duty station, they're free to make as many bad choices as they like. All the military can do is say "That's a bad idea", but they can't stop them. 

Kids who do that, as DH and I did, do so because they *LACK* parental support and guidance, not because they have it. That also has nothing to do with checking up on where your kids are at XYZ time. The military isn't a panacea but, for those with unpleasant family situations (controlling, abusive, neglectful) it can help. They do learn and do have mentors, guides.

Edited October 17, 2023 by Sneezyone

[Shoeless]

Just now, Sneezyone said:

Kids who do that, as DH and I did, do so because they *LACK* parental support and guidance, not because they have it. That also has nothing to do with checking up on where your kids are at XYZ time. The military isn't a panacea but, for those with unpleasant family situations (controlling, abusive, neglectful) it can help. They do learn and do have mentors.

I didn't say it did. I was responding to another poster. 

Enjoy your evening.

[Sneezyone]

14 minutes ago, Shoeless said:

I didn't say it did. I was responding to another poster. 

Enjoy your evening.

Perhaps parents should be more focused on modeling and decision-making than demonization? Just a thought. I know a lot of  young SMs (through DD) who are stalked by parents and family members seeking financial benefits.

Edited October 17, 2023 by Sneezyone

[Roadrunner]

Yea, we don’t track the phone either. I could see if one lives in a dangerous city to have that enabled for emergencies, but luckily mine isn’t in a dangerous location. 

[catz]

We don’t use phone tracking either.  That would be TMI for me. 😂  She is in Chicago and all over the place.   But is smart, travels in groups, etc.   We do text about one thing or another most days.   It’s conversational stuff.  Requests for cat photos, how the midterm went, etc.  we text a lot with our new college grad right now too.

[mlktwins]

Knowing my relationship with my kids, and they share a lot with me and DH willingly in everyday conversation, I'm glad I am able to parent the way I determine to be best for my children whatever their age. 

[Miss Tick]

11 hours ago, Sneezyone said:

Does no one else find it odd to check in on almost adults?

Goodness. I remember in graduate school one time dh missed a weekly call with his parents who knew he was moving that weekend and starting a new position at his company. It took more than a month before his mom would speak to him on the phone call again. He still makes those weekly calls decades later. I still think the situation is odd, so very odd.

I don't have the personality to be that coordinated with my dc, even if I didn't have that crazy experience influencing me.

[Dmmetler]

I text with L daily or close to it. Mostly practical atuff-L has a credit card on one of our accounts, and is good at letting us know if something got charged to it, or I send a photo of one of the pets doing something.

 

I'm under no illusions that it's for L's benefit. It's for me. At 16, it was also justifiable in that we still had a lot of legal responsibility for a kid who was now 300 miles away. 3 years in, it's a habit. 

 

I don't track phones. I don't track spending on L's account, although we do have access to it so we can put money in it if needed. I don't check up on grades.

 

But it helps my emotional well being to know that my kid is alive, even if it's only a heart on a photo of Neo or Pinkie. 

[catz]

I don't think there's any one size fits all with young adults.  My older kid's college transition was definitely rougher and more hands on than this kid who just left who was SO READY, don't let the door hit you mom, it's time for me to run social activities in this dorm.    

We try to do a family zoom now on the weekend.  But it's not set in stone and doesn't always work out.  It's funny doing it with my daughter now.  She gets along with her roommate, so there is a 5th person occassionally interjecting with updates!  😍 Back in the dark ages, I wasn't allowed to call more than once a week due to long distance charges.  So expensive!  Much easier living in the internet age in terms of keeping in touch for sure.   Texting on the regular is just pretty natural for all of us.  

I actually LOVE having a college student, it's a super exciting time for them.   My kids have never had vehicles in college and are pretty conscientous and conservative with their choices.  

[chiguirre]

20 minutes ago, catz said:

😍 Back in the dark ages, I wasn't allowed to call more than once a week due to long distance charges.  So expensive!  Much easier living in the internet age in terms of keeping in touch for sure.   Texting on the regular is just pretty natural for all of us.  

This!!! I just said this to dd last week. We were chatting while I was driving to pick up oldest and she was cooling down from her run in Guam. The world has changed so much in the last 30 years. We're incredibly lucky to be able to keep in touch so easily. When I was her age, I was calling home once a week and keeping an eye on the clock because long distance was crazy expensive within a state.

[Roadrunner]

1 hour ago, Miss Tick said:

Goodness. I remember in graduate school one time dh missed a weekly call with his parents who knew he was moving that weekend and starting a new position at his company. It took more than a month before his mom would speak to him on the phone call again. He still makes those weekly calls decades later. I still think the situation is odd, so very odd.

I don't have the personality to be that coordinated with my dc, even if I didn't have that crazy experience influencing me.

I talk to my mom every single morning. 😂 We are communal people. 😂😂😂 i noticed the same from my niece when she was visiting. Phones made it so that nobody feels isolated. She was part of every “happening” back home by the virtue of video calling. They had a party, we dialed in. 

 

My kid calls me after every physics class to explain to me what mind blowing equation they just solved in the class. I am the only one who pretends to really understand what he is saying and attempts to share his enthusiasm for out of this world math. 😉

It’s a connected world. I love it.