More old cat problems

[skimomma]

I started a thread a few weeks ago about my 20yo cat that has what we confirmed is chronic kidney disease.  The vet ran the senior cat profile to confirm that and also to verify that nothing else is wrong with her at this point....other than being deaf, which has been true for a year or so now.  After a $500 vet bill, we were sent home with the advice that there is nothing else really to do aside from monitor her for pain or distress.  He didn't even think the prescription food was a good idea for a cat so old and set in her ways.  The vet seemed to think she might live just fine with this for a year or even more.

However, since then, things have gotten worse.  Keep in mind this cat was feral when we "kidnapped" her at age 3 and she is not very affectionate.  She generally hates being handled but will occasionally come around for a pet or two on her own terms.  She likes to be in the same room with people so she can judge them but otherwise is not a people cat.  She screams bloody murder any time we pick her up (always has, so not necessarily a pain issue).  It is *very* hard to distinguish between her normal cranky behavior and what could be discomfort or distress.  

She has lost a significant amount of her spryness just since we went to the vet.  At that point, she was still jumping up on the kitchen counters, looking for goodies.  She is no longer able to jump up there but still tries regularly and fails.  She has been falling OFF of stuff, like chairs and tables.  She has also started randomly screaming more frequently.  She started this when she went deaf but since our vet visit it has been several times a day with no real indication of what she wants.  Before that, we could usually tell that she was asking for something like turning on the faucet for a drink or right next to the treat cabinet.  Her pee balls in the litter box were huge before the vet and are even bigger now.  She also misses meals occasionally.  She forgets to show up when the auto-feeders go off and if we are not home to find her, our other cat (happily) gets a double meal.

All of this was manageable.  Until yesterday when I was cleaning the house and vacuuming one of our sofas.  I noticed an odd spot and turned out to be a urine stain.  It did not look old.  I tore apart the entire couch and found evidence of other puddles (we don't use this couch much, obviously).  I could not tell for 100% sure that any of them were new and we did have an incident last year in which the cat flap to the basement (where their litter boxes are) had gotten stuck shut while we were out of town and it took the cat sitter a few days to put it all together.  Both cats may have peed there during that time.  But I still think the one I noticed first is recent.  It was in the spot in which she naps most days and was not the volume that this cat is producing these days.  It almost looked like an accident....like started peeing then realized she needed to get to the box.  Given how frequently and how much she is peeing due to kidney failure, this seems understandable.  So I was not initially concerned.

Then today, I was cleaning the litter boxes.  Luckily, these are in our unfinished basement.  She happened to come down while I was cleaning the boxes and was acting odd.  She was wandering around then found a spot to pee on the floor!  I watched it happen and I *think* she did it while I was watching on purpose.  Almost like a "Look at me, something is wrong!"  There was also plenty of pee in the boxes so I know she is using them at least part time, but now I see I have a problem on my hands.  We are traveling a lot over the next few months and we will have a cat sitter visit each day, but they are not at all equipped to deal with this sort of thing and I am not at all OK with my house being destroyed by cat pee.

So, I am back asking for advice.  I know many will say take her back to the vet.  And I will.  But also know that even if the vet can find a medical explanation, we are very limited in what we can do.  This cat will not allow anyone to administer meds or manhandle her in any way, so I am not going to sign up for torturing a 20yo already-cranky cat with meds or other interventions.  

Is it time?  I made the mistake of not recognizing "the time" for my last cat that we did finally euthanize at age 22.  We should have done it much sooner.  What says the hive?  If you had a 20yo, cranky, deaf, cat that was now falling off of things, screaming a lot, no longer grooming themselves, and peeing outside of the box, would you consider euthanizing?  Since I am fairly certain nothing can be done to improve her quality of life, is this current state potentially miserable enough to consider it while also balancing the fact that I will likely have to quarantine her to a small space to minimize the damage to my house for the rest of her life.  Obviously, I will be bringing her to the vet again but I want to know if it is even reasonable to consider ending things.

[BusyMom5]

I would consider that it may be time.  20 years is very old for a cat and it seems his quality of life is getting worse.  I think your vet may have been implying that by saying you should not change foods or do anything.  He is a better source than people on the internet, since he knows your cat.  

 

[skimomma]

10 minutes ago, BusyMom5 said:

I would consider that it may be time.  20 years is very old for a cat and it seems his quality of life is getting worse.  I think your vet may have been implying that by saying you should not change foods or do anything.  He is a better source than people on the internet, since he knows your cat.  

 

In theory, I agree.  However, this is a new vet for us.  Our old one retired during Covid.  So he does not actually know this cat at all.  And I am asking here first because of the experience we had with our last cat.  It *was* a different vet but she encouraged continuing treatment well past what I now retrospectively see was "time."  I easily went along with it because I love my pets and assumed the vet would tell me when it is time.  Now I know that is not true so I am looking for opinions before I talk to the vet again.  I feel terrible that we waited too long last time and I don't want to make that mistake again.  And I also have the additional logistical issue of cat pee everywhere.  In isolation, that would not be a factor, but considering her age and recent decline, I cannot see isolating her or attempting to litter box "retrain" as doing anything other than contributing to her misery. 

[fairfarmhand]

I think you know the answer to this. It’s not just the pee and your traveling. The cat seems to be quickly declining. And another thing to think of is do you want a cat sitter to have to make this call when you’re out of town? Do you want to have to rush home from a trip to take a cat to the vet for this? I think the signs are there. 

[almondbutterandjelly]

I think it is time. I’m so sorry.

[mommyoffive]

I think it is time too.

[skimomma]

10 minutes ago, fairfarmhand said:

And another thing to think of is do you want a cat sitter to have to make this call when you’re out of town? 

Sigh.  Yes, this is also part of it.  In addition to this all, I don't think I can ask our cat sitter to clean up after messes, even within an isolated space.  Even if she would actually agree to do it, she would likely not do a thorough enough job to satisfy me.

We have only had four cats, including the two we currently have, over the course of 25 years.  They live forever.  I already mentioned our last cat-passing.  The first cat we had passed when we were out of the cuontry.  While she was very old, there had been no other warning signs so it was a shock to all of us.  And traumatized that cat sitter so much that he quit cat sitting....even though it was 100% not his fault in any way.  Our current sitter is young.  I would hate to traumatize her.

[skimomma]

2 minutes ago, perky said:

I think it is time. I’m so sorry.

Thank you.  I am very sad about this and of course would like her to just live forever.  I am struggling to balance her quality of life with my own logistics and I appreciate feedback from others that are not looking at it from my perspective.

[skimomma]

To be clear, some of my travel plans are for fun and could be changed.  But most of it is because I am the sole caregiver for an elderly person with dementia living in a facility 10 hours away.  I have to make those trips to get *them* the care they need.  I really have no choice.  

[fairfarmhand]

14 minutes ago, skimomma said:

To be clear, some of my travel plans are for fun and could be changed.  But most of it is because I am the sole caregiver for an elderly person with dementia living in a facility 10 hours away.  I have to make those trips to get *them* the care they need.  I really have no choice.  

You’re allowed to take trips and all. You’re not a bad person for traveling and having a cat go downhill at the same time. It’s ok.

[Starr]

Poor kitty, can't tell you what's going on. We have sadly waited too long at our house. It sounds like it's time.

[Storygirl]

I'm very sorry. Our 14 year old cat had kidney disease, and, in retrospect, I wish we had helped her out of her pain earlier than we did. Our vet told that on a pain scale, she was at least a 5 out of 10 all of the time, and probably in more pain than that.

It's such a hard decision, but it also sounds like time to me.

[jen3kids]

We waited too long with one of our cats and I promised myself we would never do that again.  It's not fair to the cat.  I truly believe that she is telling you it is time it is her time to go.  I completely understand the love and pain you feel too.  But it is truly a kindness to free her from pain and discomfort.

[Hannah]

Agreeing with others that it sounds like its time.  It is such a hard decision to make.

[GailV]

It sounds to me like the cat is telling you that it's time. The peeing outside the box while you watched, alongside the other behaviors, sounds like a cat doing her best to say, "This isn't working any more. Help."

I'm so sorry. You gave her a wonderful life, and now it's time to do one more brilliant, loving thing for her.

[stephanier.1765]

Such a heartbreaking decision, especially when it's not emergent, making the decision obvious. My cat has a disease that causes her to pee frequent small puddles outside of her box, usually on my bed. We have it mostly controlled with medication but there are recurrences and each time I wonder if this is the time we have to put her to sleep. I can't have a cat peeing on my bed and just thinking that makes me feel guilty. So I totally understand how putting this cat to sleep might cause you guilty feelings. It seems more like a convenience for your sake rather than for her sake but that's not the case, at all. If a cat is urinating outside of the box, then she is not feeling well. And if she is doing it right in front of you, then she is really not feeling well. It pains me to say this but I agree with everyone else - it is time and I am so very sorry about that! Hugs!

[Kassia]

We waited too long too and I deeply regret it even now many years later.  I'm sorry.  

[TravelingChris]

yes. it is time.  Kidney disease gets very painful.  

[skimomma]

Thanks for all of the feedback.  I have gone back and forth on this for days now.  I will be all resolved that is is time, then I catch her grooming herself or playing with a toy (both almost never happen these days).  Then a few hours later she is falling off of a chair.  Sigh.  

[mommyoffive]

1 hour ago, skimomma said:

Thanks for all of the feedback.  I have gone back and forth on this for days now.  I will be all resolved that is is time, then I catch her grooming herself or playing with a toy (both almost never happen these days).  Then a few hours later she is falling off of a chair.  Sigh.  

So many hugs.  I am in the exact same situation with my old dog.  I hate it.

[Kanin]

I just went through this with my old cat. I waffled between thinking she wasn't feeling well, and then thinking, well, sure she's only lying there doing nothing, but maybe she's okay with it. My cat also started to lose her balance and was falling off of things, or wobbling at the edge of the couch. I talked to the vet and asked her to please be direct with me about when it was time to say goodbye. She did, and I was really grateful for her advice. I'm sooo sorry, it's just an awful choice to make. 

In the end I think I made the right choice at an appropriate time... but I still do feel a bit like I betrayed her, because she didn't make the choice for herself. 😞

[MercyA]

I think it is time. I am so very, very sorry. Hugs to you. ❤️

[IslaMujeres]

Our 12yo bengal cat recently diagnosed with the diabetes.  Anyone had a diabetic pet before?

[Dahlia211]

I had a cat that quickly developed diabetes when he was 11.  The vet told me if I hadn’t brought him in that day he wouldn’t have made it. He started getting insulin shots twice a day for the remainder of his life - 7 more years. He seemed to know that he needed the shots and NEVER minded and would come to me when I had the syringe in my hand. Once I got him on the insulin and a prescription food he returned to his normal self immediately and was otherwise healthy for the rest of his life. I’m so thankful we caught it and never minded the “inconvenience” of dealing with it. It just became part of our everyday life. 

[Rosla]

On 6/13/2023 at 2:53 AM, Dahlia211 said:

I had a cat that quickly developed diabetes when he was 11.  The vet told me if I hadn’t brought him in that day he wouldn’t have made it. He started getting insulin shots twice a day for the remainder of his life - 7 more years. He seemed to know that he needed the shots and NEVER minded and would come to me when I had the syringe in my hand. Once I got him on the insulin and a prescription food he returned to his normal self immediately and was otherwise healthy for the rest of his life. I’m so thankful we caught it and never minded the “inconvenience” of dealing with it. It just became part of our everyday life. 

I know what you are talking about. Our cat also has diabetes. She gets insulin shots every day (we buy vetsulin online for her and give her two injections a day), so as you said, it became a part of our everyday life. We had to get used to all this routine, but I hope she will have a normal life in the next few years. I should say, your story has calmed me. Thanks for sharing!

Edited June 18, 2023 by Rosla