Poll: comfortable square feet per person

[DawnM]

Depends on lots of factors for sure.   Layout, storage, size of kids, how well everyone gets along, etc......

A friend told me once that her rule of thumb was 300 sq. ft. per person for a house.   They were a family of 5 and when the kids were younger, their house wasn't that big, but as the kids got to be teens, they decided to add on to the house and it helped.

We had a 1500 sq. ft house in CA with 4 of us, but the kids were little and they would have been with us in the living room all the time anyway, we only used out bedrooms for sleeping.   Once the kids got bigger we moved to NC and have a much larger house but we also added kids to our family! 🥰   We now have 6 of us, although 2 are away at college.   Dad made 7 people here.   Our house is quite large though.   However, we don't have the best storage available and the house makes more noise than I like due to the floor plan and probably some corners cut in building.

[Hannah]

11 hours ago, maize said:

We've made bedrooms work in our current home by being a bit unconventional. We turned a basement sitting room into a bedroom for all four of my boys--the 17 year old has a full-size bed and the 12, 10, and 5 year olds have a triple bunk bed. It works for now. I'm a bit worried about what to do as the younger boys get older, the triple bunk isn't going to be comfortable for long, and my older son is autistic and not likely to be moving away from home in the near future.

The biggest problem honestly has been having only two bathrooms for nine of us. It is very common for someone to need a toilet and both bathrooms are already occupied, especially if people are showering or bathing.

When I lived in Holland about 30 years ago there was a family with 12 children living down the road in a house built in the 1600's.   The front door opened into a tiny halway stuffed with coats on hooks and shoes in built-in cubicles and that in turn opened into a large living room with kitchen and bathroom (behind the kitchen) on the bottom (1st?) floor, then two rooms and a bathroom on the middle (2nd) floor and an attic floor under the eaves with two bedrooms.  The rom was dominated by a very large dining table where everyone gathered.

The boys room in the attic had four built in box beds similar to this https://www.muramura.nl/42-bedstee-inbouw with a fairly narrow walkway between the beds.  Each child's clothes and possessions were in the storage under or in the hanging space between the beds and in a shelf at the end of the bed. 

The parents also had a tiny room in the attic and I recall their bed being quite high, so I guess also with storage underneath.

The girls's rooms had built-ins more like this https://www.welke.nl/photo/Mademoiselle/Super-gave-Bedtime-bedstee-en-bureau-van-Kidsfactory-Leuk-voor.1365586376. 

While I was there they did somehow extend the bottom bathroom to add an additional WC closet so that there'd be two on the bottom floor, so I guess they did have the need for that.

ETA:  I"m not sure if this Pinterest link will work, but some nice ideas here too https://www.pinterest.com/liekesp/bedstee/

Edited May 1, 2023 by Hannah

[historically accurate]

We live in 1900 sq foot. It's enough space; I wouldn't want to go much larger, but the layout is not working. It worked wonderfully the entire time the kids were growing up although being open concept sucked since there was no place to hide toys or anything. Currently, it's not working for us, although a lot of that is just who is here in the house - we have an adult child living with us (working full time from home), and 2 teens homeschooling. DH works from home 3x per week as well. We have no basement and no attic, although we do have a garage. One kid sleeps on the couch as they decided that was better than sharing rooms. My bedroom has become DD's office and DH works in our walk in closet. 

[elegantlion]

Another aspect of space is hobbies and weather where you live. When I lived in the south, my winter wardrobe was bascially non-existant. Now, I don't have a lot of closet space and sort seasonally. Winter clothes take up space. 

If your hobbies require lots of equipment, those need space. We have books and musical instruments which take up a lot of bulky space. In an apartment, we have no garage space, so all our camping equipment is stored inside. 

[marbel]

46 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said:

My upsizing was questioned by SO many people. Sometimes I still question it myself, but I’m usually fully satisfied with it.   
While everyone else talks about my kids growing up and moving out (2 are out), I’m strongly influenced by my parents’ experience.  Of their combined 5 kids, they’ve had adult children live with them (usually rotating) right up until the youngest (with 2 kids) was in her mid-30s.  All the reasons over the years varied, but more than once had to do with leaving unhealthy relationships.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s necessary to maintain a TON of space for *potential* Intergenerational living, but I do think it’s good to have some. Things aren’t exactly getting easier for young people.

I've actually known a few families who upsized when kids were grown. In one case, one of the sets of grandparents wanted to downsize, so the next generation down bought their house, which was quite large, even though their kids were in college. They loved the house, and figured there'd be space for their own as-yet-theoretical grandchildren. Another family had lived in very tight quarters while the kids were growing up, but finally could afford something bigger, so got it even though technically they didn't need more space. But they also were thinking about visiting grandchildren. 

And you are right, it is not getting any easier for young people to launch. My daughter has moved out to live with friends but when their lease is up she could be back.  It's not necessarily a permanent situation. 

[teachermom2834]

50 minutes ago, Carrie12345 said:

My upsizing was questioned by SO many people. Sometimes I still question it myself, but I’m usually fully satisfied with it.   
While everyone else talks about my kids growing up and moving out (2 are out), I’m strongly influenced by my parents’ experience.  Of their combined 5 kids, they’ve had adult children live with them (usually rotating) right up until the youngest (with 2 kids) was in her mid-30s.  All the reasons over the years varied, but more than once had to do with leaving unhealthy relationships.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s necessary to maintain a TON of space for *potential* Intergenerational living, but I do think it’s good to have some. Things aren’t exactly getting easier for young people.

I absolutely agree. I don’t want to go all the way down to what we would only need for dh and myself when dd is up and out in a couple years. I definitely want at least some extra space in reserve. I’ve always thought I wanted to have some room for an adult child to land in crisis, even with a family in tow. But beyond even just potential crisis, dh and I have  never had any place just to crash for a couple weeks if necessary. Last time we moved it was in a tough time for us because the move was in response to a period of unemployment, we had four kids at home, etc. We were “homeless” for a week between houses and had to stay in a hotel because my dad doesn’t even have enough room for us to crash for a week. We also had a time that a tree fell through our home during a storm. Very traumatic! Wish we could have packed up and gone to Grandma’s. Even when you are a full grown adult there are times it would be really nice to be able to just have somewhere to go and be comfortable. Dh and I have never had that and I do want to be able to provide that. 
 

So looking for a balance between maintaining a vast estate that isn’t needed and still being a soft comfy refuge when necessary. 

[DawnM]

So, when my 2nd son went to college in VA, I looked a bit for house to purchase for him while he was there.   We ended up renting and I am ok with that, but one house stood out as a great concept for grown kids or guests or whoever.

It was a house on a lake, and the lake part is what caught my eye first, but the house had been an elderly folks home and was a long ranch with 6 large bedrooms for residents.   The porch went along the entire house and each resident had a door to the outside porch and then inside had a bathroom, a mini-kitchen (more like a wet bar with a mini-fridge and microwave and sink and cabinets), and the room was large enough for a bed and a sitting area.   6 of them.   On the other end of the room was a door to the hallway to the rest of the house.

It would have been perfect for grown kids, guests, airbnb rentals, etc.....

I have some ideas on how to tweak it for our purposes but now I want to build a similar idea house.

[DawnM]

5 minutes ago, marbel said:

I've actually known a few families who upsized when kids were grown. In one case, one of the sets of grandparents wanted to downsize, so the next generation down bought their house, which was quite large, even though their kids were in college. They loved the house, and figured there'd be space for their own as-yet-theoretical grandchildren. Another family had lived in very tight quarters while the kids were growing up, but finally could afford something bigger, so got it even though technically they didn't need more space. But they also were thinking about visiting grandchildren. 

And you are right, it is not getting any easier for young people to launch. My daughter has moved out to live with friends but when their lease is up she could be back.  It's not necessarily a permanent situation. 

We do too.

[ScoutTN]

I agree that it depends on too many variables for generalization. Layout, storage, # of bathrooms, stage in life, location, weather, yard, pets, medical/health issues, personalities.

We have about 1300 sf for 2 adults and two teens and a big dog. Bad layout, minimal storage, suburbia. I would like a bit more space, more evenly sized bedrooms, and a garage. But our kids will be gone before too long and this is plenty of space for two. Hoping to thoroughly renovate/remodel when younger one is launched. I am not, not a clutter person. 

[Scarlett]

19 minutes ago, DawnM said:

So, when my 2nd son went to college in VA, I looked a bit for house to purchase for him while he was there.   We ended up renting and I am ok with that, but one house stood out as a great concept for grown kids or guests or whoever.

It was a house on a lake, and the lake part is what caught my eye first, but the house had been an elderly folks home and was a long ranch with 6 large bedrooms for residents.   The porch went along the entire house and each resident had a door to the outside porch and then inside had a bathroom, a mini-kitchen (more like a wet bar with a mini-fridge and microwave and sink and cabinets), and the room was large enough for a bed and a sitting area.   6 of them.   On the other end of the room was a door to the hallway to the rest of the house.

It would have been perfect for grown kids, guests, airbnb rentals, etc.....

I have some ideas on how to tweak it for our purposes but now I want to build a similar idea house.

That is cool.

[SHP]

Interesting question and my answer is, it depends. We are an active family so if I lived someplace with access to playgrounds, outdoor space, indoor space and activities for cold/rainy days the amount of square footage needed is much much less. If there was no access to these types of amenities then we would need more inside space to create areas to meet our needs.

[SHP]

2 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

My upsizing was questioned by SO many people. Sometimes I still question it myself, but I’m usually fully satisfied with it.   
While everyone else talks about my kids growing up and moving out (2 are out), I’m strongly influenced by my parents’ experience.  Of their combined 5 kids, they’ve had adult children live with them (usually rotating) right up until the youngest (with 2 kids) was in her mid-30s.  All the reasons over the years varied, but more than once had to do with leaving unhealthy relationships.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s necessary to maintain a TON of space for *potential* Intergenerational living, but I do think it’s good to have some. Things aren’t exactly getting easier for young people.

We bought this place when we had double the current number of residents. We have debated downsizing but have opted to stay to provide a place for adultlings to return to if needed.

I agree it isn't getting any easier for young people. We have done the best we can to help them enter the world with minimal to no debt. We pay for college and helped buy some of the things needed for one who started a business and well as used our connections to connect them to other's who have been able to get them a good deal on needed equipment that they could afford.

We bought a place for an adultling with the agreement that they cover the mortgage, utilities, and incidentals. The mortgage is 1/3 of the rent for a comparable place. It isn't huge by any stretch, but there is an area in the attic that can be converted to a small office with minimal work. As it is they could start a family, 1-2 kids elementary school age would be fine due to the near by amenities. More kids or older kids might need a larger space or more creative use of the space, such as parents taking the smaller bedroom and/or making that office area into a bedroom.

Another of the adultlings is starting a business and is still in college and cannot yet afford a mortgage and utilities and all the expenses that go into buying a home. We plan to cosign, assuming it is reasonable and not a cheap flip. I am getting very antsy about the market though. Right now their dream area is affordable, with us cosigning, and I am worried that delaying even a couple of years will make it unaffordable. 

 

 

 

 

 

[wintermom]

I think there are many variables that factor into the "comfort" level. Things like:

- available outdoor space for all/part of the year

- size of the people and pets (small children fit much easier into small bedrooms)

- multiple levels can allow people to feel like they have some personal space

[Jaybee]

4 hours ago, Carrie12345 said:

Anyway, I don’t think it’s necessary to maintain a TON of space for *potential* Intergenerational living, but I do think it’s good to have some. Things aren’t exactly getting easier for young people.

My reasons for wanting more than just enough room for dh and me is for similar reasons. There is no way, of course, that we can own and maintain a home large enough for all our kids and their families to visit us at the same time. However, I do want enough room so that at least one family can visit us, as our most of our kids will be living far away from us. 

ETA: I remember someone telling me that nearly all their friends had downsized and bought garden homes. Then when marriages and grandchildren came along, there was no room to have them visit, and their friends were rethinking their decisions.

Edited May 1, 2023 by Jaybee

[maize]

Regarding homes where adult children and their families can return, I always felt like my paternal grandparents had a pretty ideal set-up. They had a rambler with a full basement.  All their living needs were met on the main floor, and they finished the basement to include four bedrooms, a sitting room and a bathroom. That space accommodated even my parents' large family when we came to visit, and it was just kept closed when no-one was visiting.

[DawnM]

2 hours ago, Scarlett said:

That is cool.

It really was and I have already tweaked it in my head to meet the needs of my kids/family!   HAHAHA!

I think it would be great to have the main room like 12-13 ft. high and then have a staircase/ladder that goes up to a short loft area that goes over the hallway and above the bathroom across the hall and would allow each resident to have a loft bedroom area/sitting space in addition to their room.  

We do know we need to have some ind. living space for our oldest with ASD so we have already starting thinking things through.

[skimomma]

We did 1100 sq ft for three people, one of whom works from home and another homeschools.  During Covid, it was not enough, but otherwise was fine or even too much.  So, I'd say 350/person is probably more than ample.  It is a very old house so there is almost no easily accessible storage, however, the attic is pretty much-limitless storage but cannot be accessed year round.  So we do have to do things like box up off-season clothing/gear for semi-permanent storage and greatly minimize things like linens and kitchen gadgets so that everything has its place.  We are down to two people and I still would jump at the chance to add a bathroom.  It seems like even with just two of us, we seem to need to use the shower at the exact same time.  It was WAY worse with a teen girl in the house.  I will say that I do require a boot porch in our climate.  We have one and it saves on interior space.  Most people around here do have one but for the few that don't, the space of cold-weather "staging" (boot/coat/accessory storage, putting on, taking off, and drying) eats up a lot of real estate.

[Spryte]

More than square footage, I think the layout and workability of the actual rooms is key. 

We upsized from 1300 sq ft about 10 years ago and it made a huge difference for us — it’s easier to keep clean, too!

We love our current house.

My key points have already been mentioned, probably, but when we recently considered a move to a different city, we focused on actual rooms/needs rather than square footage.

- Bedrooms for the people who primarily live here, with a guest room for adult guests (kids, too, but I wanted an actual bed available rather than a sleeping bag, you know? We host often, and want to offer more than a futon or air mattress

- master bedroom has space for a small sitting area and attached private bath

- I don’t need a huge kitchen, but I do like a separate dining room. My preference is to have a breakfast nook, as well, or other area for casual meals/snacks, game playing, homeschool and art projects. I like to be able to serve dinner without sweeping away all the projects

- home office for DH

- space for work out gear and music studio, kid hobbies, library, and video gaming/movie. For us, that’s all in a great room type area with an extra guest/writing room nearby. Plenty of built in bookcases are a plus. Those spaces are used primarily by tweens and teens, and by all of us for working out

- DH and I also love our outdoor “rooms” — comfy porch for coffee and visiting, backyard set up for entertaining and lots of fun space, plus plenty of private sitting areas for conversations 

- DS would say that his workshop/studio in the garage is the most important part of the house 

DH and I have often had “extras” move in with us, from friends to family. In this house, we’ve had an adult kid move home and take over the great room and writing room, and we’ve had an elder move into the guest room, each for a few years. I like having enough space that we can offer to do that (though we could use one more bathroom near the writing/guest room!). 
 

 

 

 

Edited May 1, 2023 by Spryte

[Jaybee]

2 hours ago, maize said:

Regarding homes where adult children and their families can return, I always felt like my paternal grandparents had a pretty ideal set-up. They had a rambler with a full basement.  All their living needs were met on the main floor, and they finished the basement to include four bedrooms, a sitting room and a bathroom. That space accommodated even my parents' large family when we came to visit, and it was just kept closed when no-one was visiting.

My in-laws had similar, but with an upstairs (but no sitting room). The upstairs had a window a.c. unit and they used a large space heater in winter. The door to the stairs was kept closed. I'd be fine with a similar setup!