Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 (edited) In 2017 or 2018 I wrote a Facebook post that went viral. I actually forgot about it for a long time until my kids googled me at one point and we discovered that all kinds of places had republished it and used public photos off my Facebook. Even some YouTube videos. We have a sense of humor so I laughed about it, double checked my privacy settings and forgot about it again. Except the story has to do about a time of deep financial difficulty for us. We were in the middle of paying off NICU bills, covering private autism therapy, evaluations, and I was working part time. We were beyond broke. Things have obviously greatly improved. But someone somewhere has picked up the damn thing again because in the last week I’ve had strangers send me money to my old address(which can be googled) or through things like Facebook pay. Some is anonymous. Some is not. What isn’t I have tried to return. Should I donate the rest? I have a friend who’s toddler is dying of a neurodegenerative disease and they have very little money to begin with—Mom homeschools and Dad works in retail. Should I give it to them and give them a great Christmas? Would that be okay? Or put it on the always present exorbitant private OT and speech therapy bills that we pay out of pocket? I edited the original post to point out its many years old and we are okay financially. Not rich but okay. I had a FB message today from a very sweet 70 year old lady who was touched by the story and wants to send me $200 for my kids’ Christmas and give us a free week at her NC mountain vacation home. She is not taking no for an answer because she strongly believes God has told her to do this. Should I maybe explain about my friend’s situation and ask if I can bless her with the money instead? I am not going to lie. Things are tight still, mostly because we are allowing a hardworking young couple and their baby to live almost rent free in a house we own. They pay what they can, and work hard, but rental prices are awful and it’s truly this or couch surfing for them which we wouldn’t be able to live with. Times will change and karma comes around, but it is truly a strain on our budget. But I don’t need anything; we just work OT to cover that mortgage and the skyrocketing property tax and move on. I know this is jumbled. It is just the weirdest problem, and I want to do the right thing. Edited October 18, 2022 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 It is not wrong to take the money and use it for whatever you see fit. You are already giving back in the form of the free rent to those in need. You are much too hard on yourself. If you were rolling in the dough it would be different. But you aren’t. 19 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Drama Llama Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 I would take the $200 and spend it on Christmas things you would buy anyway and send her a little note saying “DS loved the . . . Etc . . .”’and then I would take the $200 I had now saved, and use it to help the family with the toddler. Same endpoint but you don’t need permission. 18 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momto6inIN Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 You're so so sweet to worry about this, but please stop 🙂 You did what you could to clarify the situation so people will know you're not currently in need, and you explained to these kind hearted people, and they still want to give it you. Just take it and do what you think is best with it and if that means having a great free vacation and a little bit more flexibility in the Christmas budget then don't feel guilty. You don't need permission and they don't need to know what you did with it in order for all of you to be blessed! 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted October 18, 2022 Author Share Posted October 18, 2022 (edited) In case you’re wondering, this is the Facebook post. It was 2017 right after several hurricanes had hit the US. And if I wanted to buy my kids ice cream now, I can lol. Also my oldest, Josh, is now an agnostic. So there’s that. I only ever made it public so a few of my friends who had asked to share it could, but here we are”. Lol. So I have $20 to my name right now. Bills are paid and food is bought, but there just wasn't much leftover this week. That's okay. Then on the way home from grocery shopping today, my kids begged for ice cream. Begged. Cried real tears. All the drama. I said no. I'm short on money and I might need that $20 before payday. We have plenty of good food at home; we don't need to stop at the ice cream store. I heard little sighs from the back seat, and then, "God, we'd really love some ice cream. Is there any way you can give mommy some money so we can get some ice cream tonight? We know you can. Thank you." Oh good grief. "Guys," I said, "God isn't going to drop money on our door step so you two can get ice cream. He's BUSY right now with natural disasters." "Nope," Josh said. "God said you'll have plenty of money for ice cream and to give some to the natural disaster people." "Josh...it doesn't work that way," I started, and then gave up. And then we got home. And on my doorstep was the mail. In the mail was an envelope. In the envelope was a check for $123. From an overpayment on a student loan I paid off...in 2007. The kids were not surprised. God was not surprised. They got ice cream. The Red Cross got a donation. And Mom remembered, yet again, what it means to have the faith of a child. Edited October 18, 2022 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 32 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamonlyone Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 What a beautiful post! I understand how this is causing some issues now, as it comes around again, but what an encouraging story for many FB and WTM readers! 3 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
City Mouse Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 I agree that you should do what you want with the money. You weren’t, and still aren’t, asking people to send you money. You aren’t a scammer trying to steal money from little old ladies. If you can use the money, then keep it. If it makes you feel better, then pass the money on to someone else who can use it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 (edited) 48 minutes ago, Scarlett said: It is not wrong to take the money and use it for whatever you see fit. You are already giving back in the form of the free rent to those in need. You are much too hard on yourself. If you were rolling in the dough it would be different. But you aren’t. Yes and no. Charity legal-wise, it’s flat out illegal to take money donated for a specific intention and use it for anything else. I would contact them and say while a mountain vacation sounds wonderful we just can’t do that right now and that thankfully our children our going to have a blessed Christmas already - could we use the money to doing X instead please (either for my own family or someone else)? Most likely they will say yes and then I won’t feel like I took their money dishonestly. ETA: To be clear I don’t think she is being dishonest at all. But *I* would feel better in her shoes if I just made it clear up front what I need the money to go for. Edited October 18, 2022 by Murphy101 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 (edited) 16 minutes ago, Murphy101 said: Yes and no. Charity legal-wise, it’s flat out illegal to take money donated for a specific intention and use it for anything else. I would contact them and say while a mountain vacation sounds wonderful we just can’t do that right now and that thankfully our children our going to have a blessed Christmas already - could we use the money to doing X instead please (either for my own family or someone else)? Most likely they will say yes and then I won’t feel like I took their money dishonestly. ETA: To be clear I don’t think she is being dishonest at all. But *I* would feel better in her shoes if I just made it clear up front what I need the money to go for. Hmmmmm. I would not think that would apply to an individual offering money to another individual especially when no fundraiser was set up and no money was even requested. But I am probably wrong. Lol Edited October 18, 2022 by Scarlett 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 3 minutes ago, Scarlett said: Hmmmmm. I would not think that would apply to an individual offering money to another individual especially when no fundraiser was set up and no money was even requested. But I am probably wrong. Lol For ME it doesn’t matter if it is legal or not. For ME, it’s just the right thing to do and *I* wouldn’t feel right unless I was clear and upfront about it. It’s a simple enough thing to resolve with a short amount of communication so that I would not feel that way about how I used the money. What’s the worst that will happen? The lady will take the money back? Oh well. Life will continue as though it had never happened then. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth86 Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 Could you split it up? Use half for your family and bless the other family with the rest? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tiberia Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 Take the money and do with it what you wish. People were moved by your story; it's a blessing to them to give to you. You can't help that it has cycled around again. It is a strange problem to be having, but I'd just smile and take the money. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted October 18, 2022 Author Share Posted October 18, 2022 I think I feel like it’s under false pretenses. I mean, instead of having $20 leftover after I pay all the bills every week(we get paid weekly), I have $60. lol. The nice lady from NC was moved by my friend’s story this morning and I put them in touch. She’s going to provide them a nice Christmas and vacation. But I’ve gotten a card(to my old address as I haven’t updated my license or anything so if you google me, it’s the old house that shows up) with a $100 bill and a note that says “for ice cream” and a couple gift cards, all anonymously, and I just feel like it’s under false pretenses. But then my youngest does need orthotic braces that insurance is denying and I’ve been saving for, and that’s going be about a grand, so maybe it’s fate/God/luck whatever that this has gone viral. Again. 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cjzimmer1 Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 30 minutes ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: I think I feel like it’s under false pretenses. I mean, instead of having $20 leftover after I pay all the bills every week(we get paid weekly), I have $60. lol. The nice lady from NC was moved by my friend’s story this morning and I put them in touch. She’s going to provide them a nice Christmas and vacation. But I’ve gotten a card(to my old address as I haven’t updated my license or anything so if you google me, it’s the old house that shows up) with a $100 bill and a note that says “for ice cream” and a couple gift cards, all anonymously, and I just feel like it’s under false pretenses. But then my youngest does need orthotic braces that insurance is denying and I’ve been saving for, and that’s going be about a grand, so maybe it’s fate/God/luck whatever that this has gone viral. Again. And with the current inflation that probably works out to be about the same. Keep the money, while things might not feel as desperate today as they did then, you are still in tight circumstances. You even said you are relying on OT to make it through and cover necessary expenses, but as I know you know, life happens and you can't always work all the OT you want to cover the bills. Take the money, use it to give yourself a little more breathing room. These people did have to put a bit of effort into finding you since it's not like there was a "Donate Here" button on the post so clearly these people really do want to make your life a little better, let them bless you! 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grace Hopper Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 I sense you are uncomfortable with this as it seems like unrighteous gain to you. Is it possible for you to make some kind of follow up video with a short update? People love to hear the happy endings. That way anything sent to you could be returned with a very brief message of thanks and direction to the video update? Any time you see the old one online you could comment to tag with the update. In your shoes, I might also be concerned about security (an address is out there, even if it’s not a current one it’s a location of sorts), and privacy issues for your kids as they are getting older now. Also, whether or not there’s potential for someone else to be fraudulent in profiting off that original video in some way. And congratulations to you for being in the position now to be a blessing to others. I know you worked your fanny off to get where you are today. Well done, Mrs T. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kristin0713 Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 If this were me, I would try to take down the post or make it private or something and try to remove identifying information. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted October 18, 2022 Author Share Posted October 18, 2022 4 minutes ago, kristin0713 said: If this were me, I would try to take down the post or make it private or something and try to remove identifying information. People aren’t sharing the actual post as that is private now. It was picked up years ago by clickbait or Facebook inspirational pages and they put the writing credit as my name(which frankly they should), but it’s not the actual Facebook post. My actual Facebook posts are all friends only. That one was only public because two friends had asked to share with their church groups and it just got reshared. A lot. But if you google me it’s going to turn up articles I’ve written, conference bios, the consulting company I co-own’s website, my LinkedIn, and such all of which have basic biography information. And anyone can find the address you have tied to your drivers license and voting registration. So even if you just find the business website there will be basic contact info. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted October 18, 2022 Author Share Posted October 18, 2022 3 hours ago, Grace Hopper said: I sense you are uncomfortable with this as it seems like unrighteous gain to you. Is it possible for you to make some kind of follow up video with a short update? People love to hear the happy endings. That way anything sent to you could be returned with a very brief message of thanks and direction to the video update? Any time you see the old one online you could comment to tag with the update. In your shoes, I might also be concerned about security (an address is out there, even if it’s not a current one it’s a location of sorts), and privacy issues for your kids as they are getting older now. Also, whether or not there’s potential for someone else to be fraudulent in profiting off that original video in some way. And congratulations to you for being in the position now to be a blessing to others. I know you worked your fanny off to get where you are today. Well done, Mrs T. It was a Facebook post that is private now, actually, but it’s been published and re-published by others. I mean I guess at least they give me credit lol. But I don’t have any control over it and I don’t currently have any public posts on my Facebook. So no video. I try to leave an update comment when I run across it. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ScoutTN Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 You contacted the contactable people. Just use the anonymous funds for current needs. You are a blessing to many people. God works in mysterious ways and small windfalls are part of His providential provision. Buy ice cream and pay bills and let it go. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itsheresomewhere Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 Use the money for your son’s braces. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted October 18, 2022 Share Posted October 18, 2022 Random rant: why do people stalk writers of Facebook posts instead of taking *inspiration* to bless someone else? (Op, I think these gifts are all yours to keep btw!) That said, I'm glad your friend will be blessed through this! 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hannah Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 14 hours ago, Scarlett said: It is not wrong to take the money and use it for whatever you see fit. You are already giving back in the form of the free rent to those in need. You are much too hard on yourself. If you were rolling in the dough it would be different. But you aren’t. This is the Universe giving back to you for what you do for others. The givers want to to make your life a little easier, however that looks now. You don't have to justify how you spend it. If they are that good at researching who you are and where you live, they probably also know it's an old post, and still felt you deserve their contributions. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Katy Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 The thing is, you demonstrated in the post that you didn't need or want extra money. The kids got ice cream. You made a donation to the Red Cross. It's pretty obvious that you have a budget and you stick to it and extra gets put wherever you think is best. Anyone compelled to internet stalk you can figure out that you'll be aware of people in great need just by virtue of your job. I'm pretty sure that anyone feeling compelled to give you some money because God told them to understands that if you don't need the money you'll pass it on. And I'm pretty sure they would all be okay with that. Also, God probably did prompt them to give you money. Just consider it a blessing and don't stress about it. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 I think…be careful. If it were me, I would want to return anything returnable. And I would decline the vacation. I would say something like, “I’m sorry; I’m concerned it’s entering murky legal territory and I would rather not worry about it.” Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraClark Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 14 hours ago, Mrs Tiggywinkle Again said: People aren’t sharing the actual post as that is private now. It was picked up years ago by clickbait or Facebook inspirational pages and they put the writing credit as my name(which frankly they should), but it’s not the actual Facebook post. My actual Facebook posts are all friends only. That one was only public because two friends had asked to share with their church groups and it just got reshared. A lot. But if you google me it’s going to turn up articles I’ve written, conference bios, the consulting company I co-own’s website, my LinkedIn, and such all of which have basic biography information. And anyone can find the address you have tied to your drivers license and voting registration. So even if you just find the business website there will be basic contact info. Can you write a post on your Facebook with an update and make that one public? Maybe some of the people wanting to donate will find an update that way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyacinth Posted October 19, 2022 Share Posted October 19, 2022 (edited) That was a lovely post! I don’t understand the people saying it’s illegal or muddy in a legal sense. She didn’t ASK for donations. She didn’t set up a 501c charity to raise funds. The givers aren’t asking for tax deductions. They’re not even asking for an update on how she spends the money. They’re giving of their own free will because it makes them feel good. That said, I do understand feeling kind of squicky about it. I like the idea of posting an update. “My prayer for ice cream went viral. Here’s what happened next.” And you can share how the post still inspires generosity from strangers and, while you’ve never asked for the donations—on the contrary, your original post was about how your needs, and even a couple wants, are being met—you’re touched by the spirit of giving. And then maybe add a link or two to a nonprofit you trust so people can give there instead of to you. There’s no guarantee this one will go viral, of course, but I can see one of those Inspirational Content sites eating up this kind of update. And people who are bent on researching you will find it, too. Edited October 19, 2022 by Hyacinth 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Tiggywinkle Again Posted October 19, 2022 Author Share Posted October 19, 2022 (edited) after a couple of messages thanking me for the story, I tracked it to a LinkedIn post that someone had copied and pasted from A clickbait site. Oddly this makes me feel better, because people are looking up my LinkedIn profile, which is public and much more evident of the change in circumstances. There is also the contact information foR my business which is my old address, and what people are using to send anonymous cards and things. So they are definitely seeing up to date work info. I didn’t consider linkedin an insipirational story sharing site but apparently it can be. Edited October 19, 2022 by Mrs Tiggywinkle Again 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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