Mom, what's a virgin?

[SquirrellyMama]

My 5 year old asked me this question today while we were driving. So, I go into this explanation while trying not to over explain. Know what I mean?

 

When I was done I noticed he seemed confused and he said, "Oh, I thought it was like a new version of a Transformer."

 

I said, "Oh, VERSION. Yeah, version is a type of something. A new version of the Transformers is a new type of transformer."

 

My boy is probably going to be telling his friends now that the new VERSION of the Transformers are girls who haven't had babies. :lol:

 

Oopsy. Next time I'll have him clarify before I explain.

 

Kelly

[lionfamily1999]

:blink: :rofl:

[Peela]

That is very funny!

[E_Edgerton]

:lol: very funny!

[imeverywoman]

Jimmy came home one day from school wanting to know where he came from. After much hemming and hawing, his parents finally mustered the strength to give him "the talk".

 

Upon seeing Jimmy's distressed face, they asked, "What is wrong?"

 

"Billy is from Detroit and Mikey is from Chicago. Now how am I supposed to explain where I came from???"

[orangearrow]

lol, I would've just said a virgin was someone who'd not tried something before, since the word can be applied to many different situations in life. lol

 

But - how funny that he meant version! ROFLOL He got more than his money's worth for that question, huh? :D

[tuckabella]

That is great!!!

 

The other day DD (2 next month) starts running around the house yelling "yikes yikes yikes!!!"

 

I get her and try to figure out what is scaring her (and wondering if DS taught her that word somehow).

 

Fast forward going to bed later that night and DD points to the newly put up Christmas tree and touches one of the lights and yells "yikes". :lol:

 

Get some perspective sometimes, right?

[lovemyboys]

My boy is probably going to be telling his friends now that the new VERSION of the Transformers are girls who haven't had babies. :lol:

 

Oopsy. Next time I'll have him clarify before I explain.

 

:lol::lol: Great story. I've done the same thing before.

 

 

Dc and neighborhood kids in the house one day mentioned that the "s" word is a forbidden word. Upon agreement, they added that the "f" word is also forbidden. :001_huh: Given the kids involved, I was really surprised that these words were being thought of.

 

Something made me ask what the "s" word was, and the "f" word.

 

 

 

 

 

 

stupid and f*rt

:D :lol: :D

 

eta: This is one of the few times I did clarifyl

Edited December 12, 2008 by lovemyboys

[lionfamily1999]

For the longest time Andrew used to say, "stop FATHERING me!" whenever anyone interrupted him. He wasn't anti-Daddy, he just mixed bothering with fathering.... lol.

[Chika]

One of our daughters asked me one day (after playing in the neighborhood), "Mom, what's an orgasm?"

 

Ack! Ack! Ack! Lol. I had seen it myself before, but a neighbor in a somewhat obscure house has a bumper sticker on his truck that has this word on it. It never occurred to me that my daughter would see it and ask about it! I'll take virgin over orgasm any day, lol!

[Desert Rat]

ROFLOL! I've learned to say, "Well, what do you think it is?" first! Helps to clarify and to stop me from babbling.

[caitlinsmom]

:D that is great.

[lovemyboys]

bumper sticker on his truck that has this word on it. It never occurred to me that my daughter would see it and ask about it! I'll take virgin over orgasm any day, lol!

 

Guess I missed that bumper sticker.:tongue_smilie:

[Chika]

Yea, it had to do with being an orgasm donor ... you know, like organ donor. Apparently this is how he serves his fellow man. Or woman.

 

:glare:

[SquirrellyMama]

Yea, it had to do with being an orgasm donor ... you know, like organ donor. Apparently this is how he serves his fellow man. Or woman.

 

:glare:

 

I haven't thought much about bumper stickers but now that my 7 year old can read I'll have to be ready for those.

 

Kelly

[Karen sn]

Well. I have to say that if you are uncomfortable with this topic when it comes up again in the future you should not lie. If you lie to your children about sex they will not ask *you* questions in the future and you may not like where they get their info.

 

My suggestion:

Start with bugs and mammals.

You could have said, "Before a sandhill crane finds another sandhill crane to spend the rest of her (or his) life with, s/he is a virgin." (Lots of animals mate for life - pick any one he has seen before or discussed with interest).

 

If you ever a see bugs mating (we happen to see them all the time) you can say, "Wow. Look at those beautiful dragon flies attached. They are mating."

 

My dd never asked what mating was. So years into it I finally said, "Do you know why they are mating?" She did not. I told her, "They are mating because they want to have babies."

 

She never really got it - the grand understanding of intercourse - but she knew that mating made babies and blah blah blah. One day - when I saw some bugs mating and called her attention to it - she said, "Mama. I know that mating is sex." (But she didn't really even then "get it" IYKWIM).

 

She was about 5 when we she started finding bugs and creatures doing it. Flies, dragon flies, mosquito hawks, frogs, horse shoe crabs, etc....

 

I do not know WHY my kid has a knack for finding every living creature in this position. For a while she was taking yoga with a friend and so everything was a pose. She saw some flies land on a picnic table for a split second and said, "Did you see that?! They were in their mating pose."

 

It has been a gradual lesson. She is 11 now and honestly, as much info as I have given her - she still doesn't *really* get it. Because when I asked her what she knew about sex (just the other day) she said, "Nothing." Ummmm.....HELLO! I have spent 6 years discussing it with you!

 

In fact, recently we got really deep - she saw some frogs mating. I told her that frogs are different than humans because the frog's penis does not go in the girl frog's body. He gets behind her and squeezes her belly and her eggs come out and he puts his sperm on them while they are in the water. Whereas in humans, the boy deposits the sperm in the girls body because our babies grow inside of us. But frog babies grow in the water.

 

I never exactly gave her the intercourse image in humans. I said that frogs don't do that and she had the frog image in her mind. And I used other wording to describe fertilization of human eggs without getting too graphic.

 

In some ways my dd is too young to get too in depth with human sexuality, but we can discuss the animal kingdom's other animals just fine. I give her as much information as she can tolerate. Every kid is different. BUT I NEVER LIE.

 

Many women who do not have children are not virgins.

Please do not lie in the future to your children. Granted - I know that this took you by surprize (and in the end he was asking about something else entirely different than you thought)......

But be prepared next time. And hopefully you can take advantage of the birds, frogs, bugs, and other creatures you find along the way.

 

I figure that when my dd puts it all together - she will feel as though she has known about the facts of life forever. But for now she just has the bits and pieces of truth beginning to form in her mind.

[SquirrellyMama]

Many women who do not have children are not virgins.

Please do not lie in the future to your children. Granted - I know that this took you by surprize (and in the end he was asking about something else entirely different than you thought)......

But be prepared next time. And hopefully you can take advantage of the birds, frogs, bugs, and other creatures you find along the way.

 

 

 

Wow! I don't feel like I lied at all. You are correct that many women who have not had children are not virgins. But I felt it was a fine explanation for the time. I gave him the information I felt was appropriate for his age. I plan on very gradually explaining this topic to my kids. My child is 5 years old and has no concept yet of this topic. We were in the van and I was not going to get into a full explanation of the birds and the bees.

 

I use the word mating with my kids although they really don't understand it. I don't think it would have been an appropriate word to use in my explanation to my five year old in the van.

 

Kelly

Edited December 15, 2008 by kwiech

[ncmomo3]

My 5 year old asked me this question today while we were driving. So, I go into this explanation while trying not to over explain. Know what I mean?

 

Kelly

 

You have NOT lied to your child. I see nothing for you to need to clarify for anyone. It is regretful that you just received an unwarranted lecture. You did not detail any of your discussion other than to say that you didn't over explain. How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

[Harriet Vane]

You have NOT lied to your child. I see nothing for you to need to clarify for anyone. It is regretful that you just received an unwarranted lecture. You did not detail any of your discussion other than to say that you didn't over explain. How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

 

:iagree:

[JudoMom]

You have NOT lied to your child. I see nothing for you to need to clarify for anyone. It is regretful that you just received an unwarranted lecture. You did not detail any of your discussion other than to say that you didn't over explain. How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

 

:iagree:

 

Your story made me laugh!

 

I brought home some Calvin & Hobbes books for my older 2 boys and my ds6 picked one up. From across the room he hollers "Mom? What does H-E-L-L spell?!?".

 

Of course, I went to look at the book to see what I had checked out from the library and the word was "he'll".

 

Apostrophes are important :lol:.

[Karen sn]

You have NOT lied to your child. I see nothing for you to need to clarify for anyone. It is regretful that you just received an unwarranted lecture. You did not detail any of your discussion other than to say that you didn't over explain. How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

 

It is not a lie?

Hmmmm? I was not a virgin for quite some time BEFORE I had my dd.

 

Also - I was not lecturing the woman. I was giving an example of one way to discuss it.

 

It was meant in love.

Apparently, it was not taken that way.

 

But please....let's all admit here among grown women that indeed it *was* a lie.

[sassenach]

You have NOT lied to your child. I see nothing for you to need to clarify for anyone. It is regretful that you just received an unwarranted lecture. You did not detail any of your discussion other than to say that you didn't over explain. How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

:iagree:

[SquirrellyMama]

It is not a lie?

Hmmmm? I was not a virgin for quite some time BEFORE I had my dd.

 

Also - I was not lecturing the woman. I was giving an example of one way to discuss it.

 

It was meant in love.

Apparently, it was not taken that way.

 

But please....let's all admit here among grown women that indeed it *was* a lie.

 

The explanation I gave was not full but it was not a lie. It would have been inappropriate at the time to go into a discussion of sex or mating. I feel that information should come at intervals appropriate for their age and situation. I put situation in bold because the van, when he's way in the back is not an appropriate situation for the full on explanation.

 

Kelly

[sassenach]

It is not a lie?

Hmmmm? I was not a virgin for quite some time BEFORE I had my dd.

 

Also - I was not lecturing the woman. I was giving an example of one way to discuss it.

 

It was meant in love.

Apparently, it was not taken that way.

 

But please....let's all admit here among grown women that indeed it *was* a lie.

 

Call me crazy, but I can't think of a single time that someone has accused me of lying to my child and I felt love in it. I can tell you that the response you're getting is mild compared to how I would react to a stranger saying such a thing to me. I also would classify 13 paragraphs as a lecture.

[coffeefreak]

Yea, it had to do with being an orgasm donor ... you know, like organ donor. Apparently this is how he serves his fellow man. Or woman.

 

:glare:

 

He sounds like the kind of neighbor we all want to have!:glare:

Edited December 15, 2008 by coffeefreak

[coffeefreak]

The explanation I gave was not full but it was not a lie. It would have been inappropriate at the time to go into a discussion of sex or mating. I feel that information should come at intervals appropriate for their age and situation. I put situation in bold because the van, when he's way in the back is not an appropriate situation for the full on explanation.

 

Kelly

 

:iagree:

 

Kelly, I think your OP was hilarious! You don't have to explain yourself because the post was about something funny that happened between you and your kids, NOT about how to tell your kids the birds and the bees. Sorry your thread was hijacked.

 

:grouphug:

Blessings!

Dorinda

[lovemyboys]

How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

 

 

Totally. I'm imagining OP telling this story to her adult son.....:lol:

[Mabeline]

You have NOT lied to your child. I see nothing for you to need to clarify for anyone. It is regretful that you just received an unwarranted lecture. You did not detail any of your discussion other than to say that you didn't over explain. How that has been translated into you lied is just stunning.

 

It is a great story-great moment to remember.

:iagree:

[Crissy]

LOL!

 

The misunderstanding reminds me of a time when my older son pretty young. He was telling me about the story he had been reading, the Illustrated Classics version of War of the Worlds.

 

He was going on and on about the Martians that invaded, and describing their "huge testicles!"

 

OMG. It was hilarious and I had such a time trying to NOT laugh at him.

Once I got myself under control we practiced the correct pronunciation of 'tentacle'.

Edited December 15, 2008 by Crissy

[Jenny in Atl]

It is not a lie?

Hmmmm? I was not a virgin for quite some time BEFORE I had my dd.

 

Also - I was not lecturing the woman. I was giving an example of one way to discuss it.

 

It was meant in love.

Apparently, it was not taken that way.

 

But please....let's all admit here among grown women that indeed it *was* a lie.

 

I just find it sad how many on this board are hung up about their own bodies & sex. Kids will find out about these things whether you tell them the truth or not. I at least did not want my mother's experiences to be repeated (the fear, the embarrassment of incorrect and incomplete information). She was very open and natural with me from a very young age, as I have been with my daughters. Neither of them is off having sex, nor are they obsessed with it.

[Karen sn]

LOL!

 

The misunderstanding reminds me of a time when my older son pretty young. He was telling me about the story he had been reading, the Illustrated Classics version of War of the Worlds.

 

He was going on and on about the Martians that invaded, and describing their "huge testicles!"

 

OMG. It was hilarious and I had such a time trying to NOT laugh at him.

Once I got myself under control we practiced the correct pronunciation of 'tentacle'.

 

That is funny.

[Karen sn]

Forget I even said anything.

I thought she was misrepresenting the subject because she didn't know how to approach it so I THOUGHT I could tell her what we did with bugs.

 

It was not a lecture. It was not intented to piss every one off or take away from the original post. The majority of my post had to deal with EXAMPLES of what we did.

 

Good grief! This is the reason I tend to come to this board less and less.......

 

When I said she lied to her son I had NO IDEA it would be taken to such an extreme.

[lovemyboys]

Forget I even said anything.

I thought she was misrepresenting the subject because she didn't know how to approach it so I THOUGHT I could tell her what we did with bugs.

 

It was not a lecture. It was not intented to piss every one off or take away from the original post. The majority of my post had to deal with EXAMPLES of what we did.

 

Good grief! This is the reason I tend to come to this board less and less.......

 

When I said she lied to her son I had NO IDEA it would be taken to such an extreme.

 

Perhaps it was the OP's title line that gave you the impression that it was about sex. It's unfortunate that you mis-read her post.

[SquirrellyMama]

 

He was going on and on about the Martians that invaded, and describing their "huge testicles!"

 

OMG. It was hilarious and I had such a time trying to NOT laugh at him.

Once I got myself under control we practiced the correct pronunciation of 'tentacle'.

 

That is so funny. I think I would have been crying from laughing so hard. Oh my.

 

Kelly

[mo2]

LOL!

 

The misunderstanding reminds me of a time when my older son pretty young. He was telling me about the story he had been reading, the Illustrated Classics version of War of the Worlds.

 

He was going on and on about the Martians that invaded, and describing their "huge testicles!"

 

OMG. It was hilarious and I had such a time trying to NOT laugh at him.

Once I got myself under control we practiced the correct pronunciation of 'tentacle'.

 

 

My dd made the same mispronunciation when she was younger. We were leaving a pet store and she was talking about the bugs that had the testicles on their foreheads. Snails, of course! But I couldn't NOT laugh at the mental picture I got from that.