Random Question #2 -- if your kids play D&D, how often/how long are their sessions??

[TheReader]

So, our kids play D&D, which they've been doing for something like 18 months or 2 yrs or something, I don't really know. But half of their group is moving out of state, and they've invited some new folks to join in as replacements, and in talking with the parents of the new folks, some surprise was expressed at the length and frequency of our sessions. Which may partly be that the new kids are younger than ours, or could be that we're just weird. 

So, what's normal???

Our kids' D&D group currently meets at our house, 10 am to 6 pm, roughly every weekend ("every weekend" is the default, and then if someone in the group has a conflict, they don't get together that weekend).  

Is that abnormal?? And if so, which part -- the frequency? The length of the sessions?  both? 

If it's abnormal, how often/how long is a good alternative?  And does age of participants affect your answer?  (currently, my newly-turned 16 yr old is the youngest; with 2 moving away, and 3 new kids joining, there will be a 12 yr old and a 14.5 yr old in the mix)

Trying to figure out what the plan should be going forward.....

[retiredHSmom]

It seems reasonable for the style of gaming that DnD entails. That said, it wouldn't have  been compatible with our family life style when our kids were that age.  (approx 5 years ago).  2 of my now-young adult children play DnD and they meet weekly for about 4 hours, which would have been a better fit for our family lifestyle when they were younger

[*Jessica*]

My teens, 17 and 15, play online with a group of their friends.  They play one night every weekend from about 7pm to midnight.  They also do shorter side quests with smaller groups during the week sometimes, and those run about 7pm-10pm.  

[Xahm]

I'm reacting as a parent with younger kids, thinking it would be fun to get them involved in something like that when they are older. It seems slightly long to me, but the real issue would be the time of day. Everything else happens between 10am and 6pm on a weekend day. Blocking off that much time during prime activity hours (most) every Saturday would prevent my kids from doing much else. I get it with older kids who have found their friends and this is what they do together, but with younger teens, I'd be worried about putting so much emphasis on one activity that would make it difficult to make friends outside that activity.

[TheReader]

This is all very helpful! I appreciate the feedback from folks with younger kids/younger teens, b/c I know that's a different dynamic. We're trying to sort out how/what it will look like going forward (we've used Fridays a lot, since all the current kids are homeschooled, but I think one of the new kids is not, so sticking to Saturdays does further limit things. On the flip side, one of the current kids can't be out late on Saturdays, b/c of church on Sundays, so that is how we landed on the current time frame. But maybe late, on Fridays, for about half the time, is better.....). 

We have a couple more weeks before the current kids move away, and then the new group will start, so I need to talk to the parents about what works for them, since they are the ones with the younger kids. (the new kids are all kids from youth group)

[HS Mom in NC]

My adult children (25, 23)  their spouses (25) my husband, and our youngest (15) play D&D regularly.  It's typical for sessions to run 6 hours, and often they pause part way through a campaign. They pick it back up where they left off at the next session. 

I'm not a game person and my oldest often gets tired of it half way or less through a session.  We hang out around and interact with the gamers, cook, work on crafts and other projects in the same room so we can stay connected to the group but don't have to endure actual game playing.

[theelfqueen]

It's a reasonable amount of time if it works for the group. I've played with groups that took a full day once a week. 

My kids currently play about  5-6 hours per campaign once a week. 

[TheReader]

1 minute ago, theelfqueen said:

It's a reasonable amount of time if it works for the group. I've played with groups that took a full day once a week. 

My kids currently play about  5-6 hours per campaign once a week. 

yea, that's what we're trying to sort out -- what did work for this current group vs. what will work with the new group. So I just need a starting place of "reasonable" as things shift, to accommodate younger kids, one of whom is in public school vs. homeschool, and whose parents don't know us super well yet so are perhaps apprehensive, a little, about their younger teens hanging out with our older teens/my 20 yr old, also. 

This is all super helpful -- seems like a 4 hr session is more in line with "normal" and maybe a good starting point; we could shift to Friday nights, 6-10 or something, and then adjust to an earlier start as needed/if needed in the future. That would eliminate the conflict with school, eliminate the conflict with typical weekend activities that kids may participate in, still keep us to "we will serve you one meal, not two," and still not conflict with "can't go late on Saturdays b/c of church on Sunday mornings." 

[alisoncooks]

Mine have played a couple of years (they're almost 13 & 15). Our sessions run 3-5 hours, with most at 4.  I don't think I could handle all day! And we don't do every weekend. Oldest DD plays with 3 different groups and between them, she plays 2-3x a month. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by alisoncooks

[JustEm]

That is a completely normal DnD session in my world.

[JustEm]

Frequency might too often for most people.

[Lady Florida.]

The time sounds normal for what little I know of D&D sessions. The frequency might be a bit much but if everyone is willing and able to meet every weekend then it sounds fine to me. Ds the D&D player would probably agree. He's at work so I can't ask him.

Ds 23 has been playing with the same group since he was in his mid-teens and the same family has always hosted at their home (they had a brief time of meeting at a comic book store when the family's home was in the midst of hurricane repairs one year). The virtual sessions they've been having since last March usually only last about 4 hours. When they meet in person though they go from 2pm to 9pm. They do stop at some point and eat. Sometimes they all bring money and order pizza, sometimes they all just bring their own food. So, with minus maybe an hour at most to eat, their sessions normally 6 hours. 

Last week they met in person for the first time in a year. Everyone in the group is either fully vaccinated or half vaccinated and they still met on the screen porch, masked. It lasted 4 hours. I think they'll gradually go back to their previous game time and eventually be at 6-7 hours again.

They meet every other week when meeting in person. They've been mostly meeting weekly while they were meeting online but that sometimes changed if people couldn't make it one of the weeks.

Edited April 1, 2021 by Lady Florida.

[TheReader]

4 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

That is a completely normal DnD session in my world.

 

3 minutes ago, hjffkj said:

Frequency might too often for most people.

thank you! 

I've been trying, unsuccessfully, the whole time to get them to stick to 2x/month. I keep getting vetoed on that (in particular the last two months, as the one set of siblings has been preparing to move away; everyone's in a bit of "get as much time in as possible" mode before the move). 

The dad of the two younger teens didn't seem phased at all by the every week part.....until I told him it was usually 8 hours at a time, which I somehow hadn't even really *realized* until he said it out loud. I think because they arrive, they hang out and visit a little while before getting started, we take them lunch at noon-ish, the stop and eat, then they resume playing/start playing/whatever, and then they wind down and hang out, and I just hear laughter and fun and chit-chat and friendship, and so it never feels long to us. 

I would *love* to move down to every-other week, though, especially if we *also* move to a Friday night thing or an "always on Saturday" thing, so that we have our normal weekends, too. 

[Lady Florida.]

2 hours ago, StillJessica said:

My teens, 17 and 15, play online with a group of their friends.  They play one night every weekend from about 7pm to midnight.  They also do shorter side quests with smaller groups during the week sometimes, and those run about 7pm-10pm.  

Yes, ds' group will sometimes have an unplanned online quest mid-week but they're usually shorter than the official session.

Edited April 1, 2021 by Lady Florida.

[TheReader]

7 minutes ago, Lady Florida. said:

Ds 23 has been playing with the same group since he was in his mid-teens and the same family has always hosted at their home (they had a brief time of meeting at a comic book store when the family's home was in the midst of hurricane repairs one year). The virtual sessions they've been having since last March usually only last about 4 hours. When they meet in person though they go from 2pm to 9pm. They do stop at some point and eat. Sometimes they all bring money and order pizza, sometimes they all just bring their own food. So, with minus maybe an hour at most to eat, their sessions normally 6 hours. 

Last week they met in person for the first time in a year. Everyone in the group is either fully vaccinated or half vaccinated and they still met on the screen porch, masked. It lasted 4 hours. I think they'll gradually go back to their previous game time and eventually be at 6-7 hours again.

ETA:  They meet every other week when meeting in person. They've been mostly meeting weekly while they were meeting online but that sometimes changed if people couldn't make it one of the weeks.

Okay, this is helpful too. 

We've been doing in person for a while (they took a few months off at the start of Covid, but then started back up b/c all of the families in question were maintaining similar levels of caution, and all of the kids in question were at greater risk from mental health issues of not gathering than they would be from catching Covid from one another). 

We became the only host at that point (they used to rotate) because we were able to set up the couches to be 6 ft apart for each seat, and since it's siblings, we could keep them socially distanced the whole time. We set up individual packaged foods instead of big bags of chips to share. We put wipes and hand sanitizer by the mini-fridge so they can hand sanitize/wipe the handle down. We have a guest-only bathroom cleaned before/after. We have color-coded serving utensils for the lunch food, so each family uses their own utensils and only one family is at the table at a time. They are indoors, but right at where the air return is, so the air is circulating the whole time. So....we've made it as safe as possible, and so far, so good. 

I definitely would like to get to every other week,, personally, though. 

[JustEm]

Oh I know all too well how a session goes. We usually don't actually start the playing until at least an hour into everyone meeting up.

[Selkie]

My ds20 plays one night a week for several hours (4-5, maybe?). It has been all online since the pandemic started.

[happi duck]

Our family plays once a week for four to five hours.  

[Loowit]

When we play as a family we set aside a weekend and start after lunch, around 1, and end around 9 or 10.  We take breaks for dinner and stuff during that time frame.

DH used to play a lot of different RPGs when he was a teenager.  It was never every weekend though, more like once a month.  Usually they picked a weekend, started on Friday after school and end Sunday afternoon.  They took breaks for snacks, meals, etc.  I didn't know him then, I was introduced to RPGs when we met in college.  I don't think DH would have wanted to commit to every Saturday, because he had other things he would do like laser tag, scout campouts, and such.  But a lot of serious gamers do have a set day each week to play and the length of time depends on the group.  My BIL was a Magic the Gathering player and met with his group at least once a week for several hours.

Gaming whether in person or online can be  very time consuming.  When we online gamed in a guild we set aside two evenings a week, about 3-4 hours each session, to play with the group.   If there was new content we would meet up more often.  And then of course we also played just DH and I a lot of the other nights.  We had to pull back when our kids got older.  A lot of how much time is "too much" really depends on what people are wanting out of the experience.  I think what is "normal" would depend on the group and what works for them.

[kokotg]

My 4 are only playing with each other right now, but the three older ones have done assorted groups before, and those sessions have tended to be more in the 2 1/2-3 1/2 hour range. I don't think they'd have time for an all day every weekend thing, just because they have so many other things going on (at least in normal times).

[Terabith]

Youngest child plays on Tuesdays for 3.5 hours.  Husband and both kids play on Friday and Saturday nights for about 3-4 hours each.  

An 8 hour session is a bit long for regular basis.  I could see maybe as part of a holiday sleepover game-a-thon type thing (in non covid times), but nobody here really has the mental stamina for 8 hours of gaming on a regular basis.  

Not sure it's really relevant, but all gaming sessions are via zoom at present.  

My kids started playing at age 10 formally (more than just family games), through library groups:  one on Tuesdays after school (youngest still does that one), and Saturday afternoons (husband and kids are in that one; husband started off as GM for library program; that one has shifted to Friday night because one of the people who started as a teen graduated from high school, joined the Air Force, and is currently stationed in South Korea and what is Friday night for us and Saturday morning for him works for Air Force member).  

Edited April 1, 2021 by Terabith

[Shoeless]

I used to play all night long once week in college. Long game sessions are typical for older teens/young adults. 

My almost 13 yo plays for 90 minutes once a week. I think he'd be happy to play for 2-2.5 hours each session, but he plays with younger kids that can't manage for longer than 90 minutes.  My kiddo would not be happy to sit through an all day session at this age, but I could see him enjoying it when he's a few years older. 

Edited April 1, 2021 by MissLemon

[Garga]

My son is 18 and has been playing with his friends for 2 or 3 years. 

They meet every single Saturday from 2-8. So, it’s 6 hours. They take a short break for dinner and sometimes they are together until 9 just talking.

Some of them still meet in person and a couple (like my son) join the group online due to covid. 

 

For his group, this is the activity they are in. Most of them aren’t in sports or other activities. DnD is their sport. And at their ages (my son is the youngest), I’m perfectly ok with it. I think I’d have balked at my 13 or 14 year old being away for most of the day every Saturday. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by Garga

[gardenmom5]

I have two adult kids who play D&D with friends on (most) saturday evenings, from 7pm - 10pm.  All of them are done with college and work "real" jobs.  at least two own their own homes - so that might have something to do with it.  They've been doing zoom since lockdown started.  before that, it was at the home of the DM, and he has small children.

Edited April 2, 2021 by gardenmom5

[kirstenhill]

I didn't read the other responses, but here's what happens here.  My just-turned-14 year old DS is the DM, and his party are his younger brothers along with two other 14 year old friends who both live out of town, so they call in via video chat. Their ideal (which was working for a while) was to do a 1-2 hr session once per week on an agreed upon  evening.  One of the out of town friends has been having more and more nights though where at first agrees to be available, but then at the last minute says he can't play due to not having his homework finished, and parents won't allow D and D if there is any outstanding homework.  Friend would be allowed to play later into the evening, but my boys have to be done by 9om due to youngest not being able to reasonably stay up later.  That's been annoying for DS14 as actual sessions are becoming less regular. With four party members (not counting DM), they only play if everyone is present. 

I've suggested to DS14 to recruit another party member or two and inform everyone of the time (generally agreed upon). If at the last minute friend-with-lots-of-homework can't play, he'll just miss out and maybe think harder about his scheduling. Not sure if that will happen. 

I probably wouldn't let my kids devote more than 2-3hrs per week max to D and D, as we have other priorities and whole-family hobbies that also take time. 

Edited April 2, 2021 by kirstenhill