An impossible ask: "Big" gift for my husband

[Jenny in Florida]

Usually, some time between Thanksgiving and mid-December, I post my annual plea for help coming up with a good gift to give my husband for Christmas.

This year, I actually had a few ideas for things to make, and I bought supplies and even started a couple of those projects with what should have been plenty of time . . . but, well, all but one turned out to be more than I could manage to complete.

However, I think because of some combination of thinking I was "ahead" because I had those plans and because I am pretty much in denial that Christmas is even happening this year, I didn't get around to panicking about a "big" gift until just the last few days.

So, I'm sure it's too late to pull off anything exciting, but I figured it couldn't hurt to throw the question into the air.

Here's a brief sketch of why my husband is a difficult person for whom to find gifts:

• He has no interest (or negative interest) in any of the "traditional guy" hobbies -- sports, grilling, beer/booze, latest tech gadgetry, etc.
• There are no pop culture/fandom things to which he has any particular attachment.
• His only hobbies are role-playing games (for which he already has at least two of everything he can use and in which he and his gaming buddies do not hesitate to invest whenever something catches their fancy) and, more recently, 3-D printing (on which he has already spent boatloads of money purchasing equipment and supplies and outfitting a room).
• He has a few physical and emotional issues that make it risky to attempt to plan any kind of surprise that involves scheduling or travel even as far as across town.
• Between the two of us, we have literally boxes of knick-knacks and doo-dads that have too much sentimental value to discard but which we haven't even bothered to unpack in the last two moves, because we have no place to display them.
• Although he does read some -- not as much as he used to -- it's mostly articles and eBooks from the library.
   

And here's what I have for him:

• Polo shirt on which I have sewn a Muppet applique/patch. I gave him three similar shirts a few years ago, and he seems to really love them. 
• Set of reusable stainless steel utensils to keep at work for lunches. He has commented a few times over the last few months that he would like such a thing.
• Stocking stuffers based on a theme of "threes." I bought tickets for a local production of The Three Musketeers and a pair of socks with images of The Three Little Pigs. I plan to include three of his favorite candy bars and three bear claw pastries (as in Goldilocks and the Three Bears). Open to other ideas for things that make sense in threes, but I'm reasonably content with what I have there, 
   

For once in at least two decades, I have a budget to work with, but I can't come up with anything really good to buy for him.

Anyone want to toss an idea into the ring?

Edited December 23, 2019 by Jenny in Florida

[Cecropia]

You could buy him The Muppet Show seasons 1, 2 and 3 on DVD.  We really love them.  The later seasons haven't been released, so it would fit your theme of 3's...

[Carol in Cal.]

Supplies for the 3D printer?

Maybe a home CNC device to complement it, like even a Cricut?

Whittling tools?  (Just in general.  It’s one of those things that people who like to make stuff sometimes really appreciate.)

A Dremmel to make miniatures and maybe home 3D design prototypes by hand?

[Spryte]

Three blind mice?

[Shoeless]

Can you upgrade any of the stuff he already owns? 

Could he use a storage cabinet/work surface for his 3D printing projects?  Harbor Freight has these "mechanic's carts", but you don't necessarily have to store tools in them.  He could store other random hobby related items in it.  Cart

Do you have a game shop nearby?  You could try going there and telling them specifics of what he has and likes, and see what they say.  They probably have some sort of RPG thing that he doesn't have yet. 

Speaking of RPGs, does he like Car Wars? The 6th edition is coming out via Kickstarter.  Maybe you could buy into it now for when it releases? Car Wars

Does he like any kind of board game?  Maybe a few Euro style games from the local game shop?

Video games? Would he like a Nintendo Switch and a few games?

Edited December 23, 2019 by MissLemon

[Laura Corin]

Is there a piece of furniture?  A comfy chair to be replaced or something?  I'm getting a chair for Christmas, I think.

[Meriwether]

Does he paint miniatures for his RPG games? Maybe a nice set of paints? Related artwork for the walls of project room, maybe? My older son is more into card games, but he has requested a Magali Villenueve print for his room. She is his favorite artist for both Magic and LotR LCG. Unfortunately he wants it on a metal print and I can't find where he saw them online. Maybe for his birthday. Maybe some specialty treats for his next game night?

[school17777]

One friend’s gift to her husband is a year of monthly dates.  She bought a gift certificate from 12 local restaurants/places for them to try out.  I thought it was a great idea!

[Ethel Mertz]

Three Dog Night music 

[KungFuPanda]

A huge display shelf/photo ledge for his boxes and boxes of fandom knick knacks? I need to do this for DS because he has so many little video game characters that he loves, and wants to look at, but need to get OUT of his usable space area.  

This is the second post today where I've recommended display shelves.  Maybe I need to stop projecting and install some in my own home already.

[Jenny in Florida]

Thanks for the thoughts and suggestions this far.

Unfortunately, storage/display shelves aren't an option, because there would be no place to put them in this house. We already have bookshelves taking up the available wall space in every room except the bathrooms.

I tried furniture a couple of years ago, and he didn't like what I bought. We ended up dragging his old chair back into place, and the one I bought is currently taking up floor space in my office/craft room.

He does paint the miniatures and such that he prints, but he is already fully outfitted for that. In fact, two days after it occurred to me that he might like an airbrush, he mentioned he had ordered one.

He already has a Dremel with a bunch of attachments.

He does like board games, but we have a closet full that never get played.

Conventions and similar events are not good options. We have MegaCon here every year, literally 15 minutes from our house, and he no longer bothers to go every year because the crowds and noise and lines aggravate his anxiety.

And I don't think artwork is a good idea, given that we have a few pieces we picked out together by that haven't been hung up yet, because of limited wall space and even more limited energy. (And see note above about bookshelves lining many walls.)

He is not into console gaming, but our son and his girlfriend are each giving the other a different gaming system. (Neither one knows the other one had the same idea.) Each has invited us to play when we wish.

[matrips]

15 hours ago, Jenny in Florida said:

Usually, some time between Thanksgiving and mid-December, I post my annual plea for help coming up with a good gift to give my husband for Christmas.

This year, I actually had a few ideas for things to make, and I bought supplies and even started a couple of those projects with what should have been plenty of time . . . but, well, all but one turned out to be more than I could manage to complete.

However, I think because of some combination of thinking I was "ahead" because I had those plans and because I am pretty much in denial that Christmas is even happening this year, I didn't get around to panicking about a "big" gift until just the last few days.

So, I'm sure it's too late to pull off anything exciting, but I figured it couldn't hurt to throw the question into the air.

Here's a brief sketch of why my husband is a difficult person for whom to find gifts:

• He has no interest (or negative interest) in any of the "traditional guy" hobbies -- sports, grilling, beer/booze, latest tech gadgetry, etc.
• There are no pop culture/fandom things to which he has any particular attachment.
• His only hobbies are role-playing games (for which he already has at least two of everything he can use and in which he and his gaming buddies do not hesitate to invest whenever something catches their fancy) and, more recently, 3-D printing (on which he has already spent boatloads of money purchasing equipment and supplies and outfitting a room).
• He has a few physical and emotional issues that make it risky to attempt to plan any kind of surprise that involves scheduling or travel even as far as across town.
• Between the two of us, we have literally boxes of knick-knacks and doo-dads that have too much sentimental value to discard but which we haven't even bothered to unpack in the last two moves, because we have no place to display them.
• Although he does read some -- not as much as he used to -- it's mostly articles and eBooks from the library.
   

And here's what I have for him:

• Polo shirt on which I have sewn a Muppet applique/patch. I gave him three similar shirts a few years ago, and he seems to really love them. 
• Set of reusable stainless steel utensils to keep at work for lunches. He has commented a few times over the last few months that he would like such a thing.
• Stocking stuffers based on a theme of "threes." I bought tickets for a local production of The Three Musketeers and a pair of socks with images of The Three Little Pigs. I plan to include three of his favorite candy bars and three bear claw pastries (as in Goldilocks and the Three Bears). Open to other ideas for things that make sense in threes, but I'm reasonably content with what I have there, 
   

For once in at least two decades, I have a budget to work with, but I can't come up with anything really good to buy for him.

Anyone want to toss an idea into the ring?

My gifts to dh are slim pickings- new sunglasses, a shirt from our kids new school, a pair of fleece lounge pants, some $1 used DVDs from the thrift store, a tie, and a Santa shirt.  We get what we need during the year and we have most things by now.  I might try to remember to get some lottery tickets; he likes them.

[Mbelle]

Really nice shoes are a favorite around here.  

[City Mouse]

I assume it is too late to order now, but this is my go to when I don’t have any ideas. https://www.uncommongoods.com
 

would he like or use a nice watch?

[Selkie]

Are there any charities that mean a lot to him? You could make a contribution in his name, either of money or of needed supplies. Many charities have Amazon wish lists, so you can have the items shipped right to them.

[Jenny in Florida]

13 minutes ago, City Mouse said:

would he like or use a nice watch?

 

In the 40 years we've known each other, he's never worn a watch. These days, he does wear a Fitbit.

1 minute ago, Selkie said:

Are there any charities that mean a lot to him? 

 

Not really. We contribute to a variety of causes, but he doesn't have a favorite.

[alisoncooks]

11 hours ago, happysmileylady said:

I know you said travel can be difficult to plan/schedule, but if he's into to RPG, what about tickets to Gen Con? It's not until July, so that would give him time to process the travel, plus you could do the actual planning like booking hotels and stuff together, giving him some control over it, if that would help.

 

 

 

This is what I was doing to say. Maybe tickets to some com-con or something. 

[Jenny in Florida]

1 minute ago, alisoncooks said:

This is what I was doing to say. Maybe tickets to some com-con or something. 

 

I appreciate the thoughts, honest, but as I said above, my husband doesn't even go regularly to the ginormous convention that is 15 minutes from our house because the noise, crowds and lines are too much for his anxiety. And the standing and walking and being bumped into by hordes of other people is hell on his back.

[Janeway]

This is why I hate exchanging presents with my spouse!! Seriously....I think we might have some drama. I bought my husband something a month ago. And based on the laughing I got from some people tonight who tell me Christmas is going to be interesting, I suspect he got me the same thing. 

[kiwik]

It sounds like you have plenty of presents already for an adult who doesn't really need anything and is free to spend money on his own interests.  Give him some vouchers for you to cook his favourite meal or something and call it good.

[Xahm]

Is there a smaller con somewhere near you that you could attend? A friend recently went to one near here and said she enjoyed it even more than the huge famous one that is near here because everything was much more relaxed and friendly, even if the panels weren't star-studded.

Likely not a help for Christmas, but I thought I'd put the idea of there since I wouldn't have thought of it on my own.