I was naive about surgery recovery

[ktgrok]

Every varies in how they heal from surgery, and your pain tolerance in other things doesn't seem to effect it from surgery. I gave birth to three babies unmedicated, including a 10 pound kid, but my c-section knocked me on my butt for 6 weeks. My sister couldn't handle a minute of labor pain, but was up and around and off pain killers in days! 

As for healing, my advice as a former vet tech (hey....healing is healing, right), daughter of nurse, and two time surgical patient is:

1. eat lots of protein (need it to grow new tissue)

2. stay very hydrated (same as above)

3. stay on top of pain meds

4. REST!!!!!! Listen to your body! Let it put its energy into healing rather than running errands. It can't do both. 

5. Don't be totally sedentary either - every few hours (doesn't have to be hourly) walk to the bathroom or get a drink of water or whatever....just stay on your feet about 5 minutes. A walk to the mailbox, not around the block. Just to keep blood flowing, prevent clots, etc. 

6. SLEEP a LOT! 

[Guest]

1 hour ago, elroisees said:

Healing is surprisingly demanding! Are you eating enough? I found that important after a surgery. You need people to bring you lots of good fruit and veggies, and enough fats, all cut up for you. I hope you are able to give yourself a break and have all the support you need. 

We were on the meal train last week, plus my bunco ladies brought me an amazing box of fresh fruits, bagles, and muffins. I also had a bunch of homemade chicken soup I made before surgery, as well as three loaves of homemade sourdough bread. So we have been in absolutely great shape for food; the bagel box was also great because I could eat any of those things with practically no prep. Those were mostly eaten by yesterday and I froze the rest. And we just finished off the majority of the meal train food, though I have some frozen things still. 

I was contemplating asking the meal coordinator to put us back on the schedule for a few more meals. I know she would happily do it, but I am I guess embarassed because I was so certain I didn’t want to be on the meal train for more than a week. (Also, there were two other new emergencies with members and I don’t want to “hog” the help.) 

DH is cooking tonight. 

[Garga]

My DH had a shoulder surgery and recovery was a bear.  We were both so shocked at how debilitated he was.  The doctors minimize what recovery will be like to a maddening degree.  At the time, I remember being infuriated about the whole thing: not that dh needed to recover, but that the doctors had made it sound like it would be smooth sailing.  My dh didn’t have complications or anything like that, but it was hardly smooth sailing.  I wanted to kick those doctors (not literally...).  I just couldn’t believe they would perform these surgeries and then send people home without them truely understanding how to care for themselves afterwards.  

If I was you, I’d take whatever recovery time they gave you and double it.  At the end of the doubled time, take stock.  If you’re feeling better, great.  If not...reassess and keep things slow.

No matter what else—rest.  And let life come to a standstill...just let it stay still for a couple of weeks.  Live in a pause for awhile.

[Tanaqui]

1. Your body needs to rest. Rest means REST. Healing takes a lot of energy, and there isn't much left over for other things. Have somebody do all the meals, have somebody do all the chores, and definitely don't plan to do the co-op for at least another week or two.

2. People like to help. When you ask for help, they get to feel useful and needed. If you lurch around trying to do things when you should be resting, you're depriving them of this feeling - and you're also setting the stage for other people to feel "guilty" or "embarrassed" when they're the one who needs help. You can help them by setting a good example. Let people help you.

I'm sure other people can say this in a nicer, more tactful way. I'm not always a very nice person, and I doubt anybody has ever called me tactful. These are the facts - you need rest, and other people want to help you get it.

[Guest]

Also, here’s my little complaint: as many of you know, I am a secretary for DH’s companies. Let me be honest: this is a huge disadvantage right at the moment. There is no relief secretary. I can only ignore that office for so long. So today I so dragged myself in there (at my house), logged on to the computer and put out a couple fires that can’t go ignored for much longer. But I was sitting at the desk when dh came home and he said, “wow, look at my woman! Seven days out of surgery and working...” I interrupted him, “And feeling like crap. Don’t laude me. I don’t want the pressure. I wouldn’t be doing this if it wasn’t necessary.” 

I might have bitten his head off a little bit. ? He prizes strength and usually I’m good with that, but really not today. I would rather he ordered me back to the couch and my audiobook. 

[happypamama]

I’m sorry you’re still hurting so much. Everyone is different, but it is always okay to call and double check about what’s normal, just in case. Hugs!

[Ausmumof3]

Oh man!  I missed that you’d had surgery already.  Sending very gentle hugs your way.  Also I think the next few weeks would be a good time to try out online grocery shopping if you don’t have someone to go for you.

[scbusf]

Same here. I had sinus surgery last Thursday, so 5 days ago. I have not had much pain, but the fatigue is overwhelming. Thankfully, I had the presence of mind to stock up the freezer with meals for this week. I have been taking up friends on offers to help drive the kids around to various places. Why is it so hard to ask for and accept help???? No one expects us to be super-moms, so why do we expect it of ourselves?

[lmrich]

So sorry you are struggling. It is so normal. Surgery is tough! Be prepared when you go out for the first time, you will be wiped out. The grocery store feels like a 10 mile walk.  Big hugs and hope for peace and healing.

[Ravin]

12 hours ago, Quill said:

One week ago today, I had my lumpectomy and lymph node biopsy. The recovery time listed on the paperwork is “two weeks,” but I clearly had very naive notions about how affected I would be by surgery. 

Before surgery, I made plans to have my duties covered at co-op for last Friday, but I actually thought I was planning out of an abundance of caution so people would not be left in a lurch if it turned out I could not show up Friday. 

Heh. Friday came and went with me not even showered yet. Sunday, I went (rode along in the car) to my son’s baseball game. This was exhausting, painful and I bailed 3/4 through to sit in the car. 

The site where the lymph nodes were removed still hurts quite a bit. (They told me the lymph node site usually is worse than the tumor site.) My use of that arm is still significantly hampered and it is numb along the back of my arm and underarm (also supposedly normal). Yesterday I felt sick, though I checked my temperature and it was normal. I am alert to signs of infection but don’t seem to have any. I think I just may have had exceedingly unrealistic expectations of how bad a smack-down surgery would be. I haven’t even driven a car. I have plans for Thursday in the morning and at night (it is DS’ birthday), but I am leaning strongly towards canceling at least the lunch meeting and hoping I can manage a dinner out with my son for his birthday; I won’t have to drive. 

? Please send tiny violins. I am sad, stir-crazy and need to get groceries. (I do have friends who would get groceries in a heartbeat if I asked, but I didn’t expect it would be necessary.) If you have experience and you agree that this sounds too long to still hurt, tell me and I’ll call my dr. today. 

 

When I had my chest surgery a few years ago, I was also told "two weeks" but the doctor was willing to sign off on longer away from work. And that was surgery while healthy, and didn't involve lymph nodes. Be gentle with yourself! If you feel you need to follow up with your doctor, do it. 

[school17777]

11 hours ago, Quill said:

We were on the meal train last week, plus my bunco ladies brought me an amazing box of fresh fruits, bagles, and muffins. I also had a bunch of homemade chicken soup I made before surgery, as well as three loaves of homemade sourdough bread. So we have been in absolutely great shape for food; the bagel box was also great because I could eat any of those things with practically no prep. Those were mostly eaten by yesterday and I froze the rest. And we just finished off the majority of the meal train food, though I have some frozen things still. 

I was contemplating asking the meal coordinator to put us back on the schedule for a few more meals. I know she would happily do it, but I am I guess embarassed because I was so certain I didn’t want to be on the meal train for more than a week. (Also, there were two other new emergencies with members and I don’t want to “hog” the help.) 

DH is cooking tonight. 

 

A lady a church had similar surgery slightly before you.  She’s on the meal train for a month.  Ask to be put back on!

Edited November 7, 2018 by school17777

[Melissa in Australia]

I have had a handful of surgeries - I have discovered that if they say "you will be uncomfortable for a few weeks so get in help and don't do anything" it really means you will not be able to do anything for a few weeks.

HUGE HUGS

[mumto2]

Hugs,   No experience other than with my mom.  The meal train is a good thing and much easier than hubby doing it (at least my hubby) so sign back up!  

FYI, My mom was also told to move her watch to the other arm.

[Guest]

7 hours ago, mumto2 said:

Hugs,   No experience other than with my mom.  The meal train is a good thing and much easier than hubby doing it (at least my hubby) so sign back up!  

FYI, My mom was also told to move her watch to the other arm.

Luckily, I wear my watch on my right arm already. ? 

[Reefgazer]

I'm sending healing wishes your way, and hoping they got all of the tumor.

[Kassia]

If your body is telling you to rest, listen to it!  Rest and allow yourself to recover.  Everyone's recovery is different and your body will tell you if you're doing too much.  Hang in there and hope you feel better soon.

[Suzanne in ABQ]

Put on your jammies and go back to bed.  For another week, at least.  

 

[HS Mom in NC]

That sucks.  Be generous with yourself.  Resting and recuperating can make some personality types batty, but you really do need the down time. My midwife says to stay in jammies until you feel back to normal because people don't expect someone in jammies to do much other than lay around.

My doctor told me it was a 3 week recovery from my hysterectomy.  It was 6.  I asked her about it at my check up and she said, "Oh yeah, you're over 40, so it's taking longer." She apparently has a lot more book smarts than street smarts.  The percentage of women under 40 having hysterectomies is incredibly low, and giving unrealistic expectations of recovery time sets people up to do too much because they didn't plan on having help so long.  Why she didn't tell me 6 instead of 3 before hand is a mystery to me. 

On a related note, homeschooling parents and institutional teachers, for those of you with very academically gifted children, you need to ask yourself if your bookish kid is also getting enough guidance and instruction in practical, earthy, real world matters and you need to actively work at filling those gaps before you unleash them on the rest of us.

[Guest]

2 minutes ago, Homeschool Mom in AZ said:

That sucks.  Be generous with yourself.  Resting and recuperating can make some personality types batty, but you really do need the down time. My midwife says to stay in jammies until you feel back to normal because people don't expect someone in jammies to do much other than lay around.

My doctor told me it was a 3 week recovery from my hysterectomy.  It was 6.  I asked her about it at my check up and she said, "Oh yeah, you're over 40, so it's taking longer." She apparently has a lot more book smarts than street smarts.  The percentage of women under 40 having hysterectomies is incredibly low, and giving unrealistic expectations of recovery time sets people up to do too much because they didn't plan on having help so long.  Why she didn't tell me 6 instead of 3 before hand is a mystery to me. 

On a related note, homeschooling parents and institutional teachers, for those of you with very academically gifted children, you need to ask yourself if your bookish kid is also getting enough guidance and instruction in practical, earthy, real world matters and you need to actively work at filling those gaps before you unleash them on the rest of us.

Well, the “jammies” part is easy because there are two requirements for any clothing I am currently wearing, day or night: 1) does it button or zip down the front; 2) is it soft, loose and non binding? So this means that I’m continuously dressed like one of those Athleisure gym moms, or else like an LL Bean catalog model. ?