theelfqueen Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Why do people insist on giving us gifts labelled "The Smiths" or "The Smith Family" (not our actual name) when three of us are Smiths, and two of us are Jones (not their actual name either)? Gifts like wall signs or holiday ornaments. And then sometimes those people complain because their gift is not displayed. Seriously. I am awful for not displaying a gift that the Jones members of my family dislike because they are not Smiths. I got a snide comment today about how someone couldn't just buy me a personalized ornament like they bought someone else because "I am so picky". Yes I am picky about including all of my children in my family. So weird of me. 3 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 27 minutes ago, theelfqueen said: Why do people insist on giving us gifts labelled "The Smiths" or "The Smith Family" (not our actual name) when three of us are Smiths, and two of us are Jones (not their actual name either)? Gifts like wall signs or holiday ornaments. And then sometimes those people complain because their gift is not displayed. Seriously. I am awful for not displaying a gift that the Jones members of my family dislike because they are not Smiths. I got a snide comment today about how someone couldn't just buy me a personalized ornament like they bought someone else because "I am so picky". Yes I am picky about including all of my children in my family. So weird of me. Yes......my mom often refers to my family as the ‘Jones’. I know she is t really thinking how it might make my ‘smith’ son feel, but it always makes me wince. 1 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tanaqui Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 How rude of them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Do you live in the monogram-y part of the country? We all have the same name at my house and I think we’ve received 2 monogrammed gifts in 25 years of marriage . . . both from southern gift givers. ? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 Wow, that's really awful. So rude and thoughtless. But I could see one of my family members doing such a thing. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 1 minute ago, KungFuPanda said: Do you live in the monogram-y part of the country? We all have the same name at my house and I think we’ve received 2 monogrammed gifts in 25 years of marriage . . . both from southern gift givers. ? It probably is a southern thing. Beats me though.....I just saw a cute sign that seemed more inclusive but it has already escaped me. Something like We are all family here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 My mother is that kind of person. She insisted we answer the phone, "Step-dad's last name residence." She, step-dad, and step-brothers had that last name but my bio-brother and I had our dad's (her ex-husband's) last name. It was incredibly obnoxious both ways: the overly formal answer and disregard for there being more than last name in the residence. Then it fell out of fashion even for the hyper-formal types to use a last name in answering the phone, so it came to an end. I've only ever been given 1 monogrammed gift-a cute hand-painted penguin family ornament with our last name on it from my husband's sister. We all have the same name last name, so it's not an issue. She only lived in The South for her early elementary school years. If someone complained to me I would tell the truth matter-of-factly, "Our family is made up of people with 2 different last names, so I would only display an ornament that had both on it. It's Smith Jones, with or without a hyphen if you want to get us a personalized one that I'm willing to display." Pass the bean dip. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hippiemamato3 Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 One of my favorite gifts I ever received was a name plaque for our door that had the two last names in our home hyphenated. I was so excited I cried - it was handmade by my aunt too. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldberry Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 That's really rude in that situation. It would not occur to me someone would do that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawyer&Mom Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 My answering machine growing up: Hi! You’ve reached the Smith, Jones, Brown and Baker residence! Please leave a message! We were a *four* last name family. We did not get personalized gifts! Of course you have to include everyone! Anyone who doesn’t get that is wrong. 2 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 I feel you! My favorite was a gift that I would clearly be the only one to ever use, with dh's last name on it, lol. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 7 minutes ago, Lawyer&Mom said: Smith, Jones, Brown and Baker Sounds like a law firm (appropriately enough!) 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 That seems a weird gift to get anyone. If you want one, best you select it yourself to read how you want it to read. But to ignore some people in the family? That is just beyond rude. Is it possible they didn't realize there were two last names in the family? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Junie Posted November 5, 2018 Share Posted November 5, 2018 I grew up in a 2 last name house. My sister and I were Joneses; my mom, step-dad, and half-brother were Smiths. When one of my Smith cousins served in the military in the Philippines, he bought items for each of us. My parents were given a decoration for the home with the name Smith. Each of the kids was given a gift with our first names. Mine was a duffel bag (which I still use 25 years later!) I did not take offense to the gift my cousin gave me and he certainly meant no offense. The name Smith was not offensive to me and I considered myself part of the Smith family. All of that to say: while most of the time this sort of gift is offensive, it is not always. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
theelfqueen Posted November 6, 2018 Author Share Posted November 6, 2018 In this case the primary offenders are my parents and my husband's parents ... yes they know the names and they know my Middle son is offended by it. But the comment today was from my sister-in-law who at least acknowledged my preference while complaining about it lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Ugh. I didn't take dh's name and I've said I don't mind when people call us "The Dh's-Weird-Italian-Name Family." But if I did, then come on. I have the right. And if it's kids, then it's no question. They should always get their name included. My brother and his wife have several times sent me mail addressed to me as Mrs. Dh's-Lastname which... come on. That does bug me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mumto2 Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 Going to be really honest it can be confusing and I try super hard not to hurt anyone’s feelings. I have lots of notations in my address book that no one else understands. For instance I have absolutely no idea what last name a longtime home ed friend’s children use. I know she still uses the last name from her first marriage which is her legal name. Her partner/the father, who I know and like, but I only know his first name. I am always in a quandary when it comes to mailing things. I just put first name/names and the address. This has gone on for 10 years so it is a bit late to ask. My brother has sent me checks with my child’s first name and my maiden name. Now that is weird. I sort of understand when my family sends things with my maiden name to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ktgrok Posted November 6, 2018 Share Posted November 6, 2018 We have two last names in my family, so when we personalize stuff we use first names ? We get a personalized ornament EVERY year, and it has all our first names on it, every year ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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