PMS rage

[JIN MOUSA]

Say you recently discovered that you predictably have one really terrible day every four weeks, terrible in this case meaning feeling angry and irritable and frustrated at everything. And say you wanted to try to be more proactive about this day and have some easy things available to help the day along, what would you do?

 

Asking for a friend. Ok, not really. 

 

So far, I've got get a bit of nice chocolate, mark what it's for and save it at the top of the pantry, to be pulled out on said day. 

 

And that's it. 

 

I guess I'm especially looking for ideas of what to do with my kids. If it's a week day, we probably need to get at least a bit of school done, and on these days I have zero patience (maybe more like negative patience) for any of their whining or arguing. 

[Catwoman]

If it's really that bad, "surprise" your kids with a day off from schoolwork once a month.

 

One extra day (or two!) off a month isn't a big deal, and it might make all of your lives a lot easier. :)

[JIN MOUSA]

If it's really that bad, "surprise" your kids with a day off from schoolwork once a month.

 

One extra day (or two!) off a month isn't a big deal, and it might make all of your lives a lot easier. :)

 

And I think I'd be fine with that, but what to do instead of school? Because they'll do normal kid things like play/argue ...

[Rosie_0801]

I see nothing wrong with hiding in your bed one day per month, but rage isn't nice to feel. A visit to a Chiro a few days before you are due helps some people.

[hornblower]

I would suggest broader lifestyle changes: reduce or eliminate caffeine and alcohol; increase exercise; increase sleep. 

Add: essential fatty acid & vitamin b supplement; + iron (for fatigue and probable low level anemia); + magnesium (for muscle tension). 

I think sweets and chocolate are probably actually a bad idea but if you really think they help, keep them. 

I'd consider a course of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, daily journalling and meditation. 

All these things together may help to reduce the symptoms to a more manageable level. 

If they don't, I'd see doctor about trying a course of ssri's. Highly effective for pms. 

[klmama]

Chocolate makes me feel worse, not better.  Even that small amount of caffeine increases tension, which makes me extra irritable.  Also, for some people chocolate is bad because it is high in copper, which can be a problem if you already have excess copper or are zinc deficient.  (Having white spots on fingernails is one sign of zinc deficiency.)  Coffee, tea, carob, and other high-copper foods can also be a problem for this.  

 

Evening primrose oil at bedtime helps some people with PMS.  

[Annie G]

I would plan ahead to have a dinner that takes little or no work. Crock pot, planned leftovers, or pull something from the freezer.  Also I'd have an easy or fun lunch planned for the kids.  

 

Since you probably know in advance, can you find some laid back things they can do that give you a break from school? So...they can do the stuff they don't need your help with, such as silent reading and handwriting practice, but then have some fun things that will give you a break, such as a movie (it can be educational) or an unmessy art project.  Drawing and coloring placemats to use for Thanksgiving, for example. 

 

About the whining and arguing...if they have their own rooms, I'm not above confining them to said room for an hour at a time to give you a break. If they share a room, one can be confined to the bedroom while another is in another room, like your bedroom. They can color, read, whatever, but they have to be quiet. 

 

Sorry you have days like this. I do NOT miss that. Menopause has been wonderful except the whole lower metabolism/easy weight gain thing. 

[OH_Homeschooler]

Let them go crazy with screens? Let them know you are there if they really need you, but otherwise they are free to watch TV and eat PB&J sandwiches for just that one day. Let yourself off the hook. 

 

And just knowing it's the hormones making you feel that way could help. Take deep breaths, remind yourself it's just the hormones and you're not really that mad. (I tend to get angry and really depressed, so it's helpful to remind myself that the world really isn't ending). 

[SparklyUnicorn]

Yeah if it's one day a month, take the dang day off and chill. 

 

 

[scholastica]

If I were near peri-menopause age, I'd go get my hormone levels checked and do HRT if needed. In fact, I did do this and it made a world of difference. I also did a lot of the above suggestions. Eat right, exercise, sleep enough, make sure you are getting enough magnesium, calcium and Vit D. Fish oil and probiotics help, too.

[SparklyUnicorn]

If I were near peri-menopause age, I'd go get my hormone levels checked and do HRT if needed. In fact, I did do this and it made a world of difference. I also did a lot of the above suggestions. Eat right, exercise, sleep enough, make sure you are getting enough magnesium, calcium and Vit D. Fish oil and probiotics help, too.

 

Yeah, but not everyone can take HRT.

 

Obviously I would not know that about the OP, but just saying it's not a magical answer for all ppl.

[scholastica]

Yeah, but not everyone can take HRT.

 

Obviously I would not know that about the OP, but just saying it's not a magical answer for all ppl.

 

Of course it's not the answer for all people. Nothing is. I'm assuming the OP is an adult and would have a conversation with her doctor about what her particular options are, given her personal and family health history, and what the risks and benefits are of each one. 

[aaplank]

Take the day off. Don't make any outside plans or appointments. Have easy, ready made food that is grab and go. Don't put any expectations on yourself. If you do school, great! If you decide to go to a park, wonderful. If you watch Netflix all day while your kids are watching T.V. and left to their own devices, that's ok too.

 

I dealt with PMDD for many years and this is what helped me the most. I told my kids ahead of time what PMDD was and why I needed some breathing room. Even at young ages, they understood and offered me grace. I realized it was a lot healthier for them to see their mom take a break, than try to push through and end up raging at them. The more I gave myself permission to do absolutely nothing during this time, the better I coped. I was able to manage without medication and eventually life didn't need to stop the week before my period.

[school17777]

If you can pinpoint the day, try taking Primrose Oil pill.

[bolt.]

Depending what you mean by 'rage' (and I say this with absolute solidarity, sister) but you might actually consider childcare. Seriously. There's no shame in a sick day. Tell people you plan a personal retreat once a month, that it a huge part of your health and self-care, and just get a babysitter.

[displace]

Field trips to places where you aren't needed much (educational places, or just Chuck E. Cheese where you can sit in a corner and read a book).

 

Take kids to movies.

 

Hire a babysitter for the afternoon or day or night.

 

Have school work automated: documentaries, brain pop, audiobooks, mobymax, mystery science.com.

 

Bounce house.

 

Park day.

 

I ended up going on hormones because it was uncontrollable. In the meantime I also learn to assert myself- kids must talk in normal/non-whiny voices, no yelling, following instructions, breaks for me.

 

Exercise can be helpful, but sometimes I can't pull myself off the couch.

[SparklyUnicorn]

Of course it's not the answer for all people. Nothing is. I'm assuming the OP is an adult and would have a conversation with her doctor about what her particular options are, given her personal and family health history, and what the risks and benefits are of each one. 

 

Sorry, absolute knee jerk reaction on my part!

[MercyA]

Premsyn PMS used to take the edge off for me. 

 

The SSRI I take for OCD works even better, but due to the side effects, I wouldn't recommend it for someone who only needs it one day a month.

 

And, yes, by all means, take the day off, with no guilt!  :grouphug:

[Kalmia]

***** Noise canceling headphones and iPod all day long with upbeat music or binge watch your favorite shows. Just smile and nod when people talk to you and you can't hear them.

Nap time for all members of the family that day.

Cancel school. Do the schoolwork for that day on the next weekend day.

Have your husband, mother, sister, babysitter stay home with the kids that day and you go out.

 

[lulalu]

So several years ago I read about taking a day off on those days. So long ago I can't post the blog. But it was life changing for me. We watch movies and do nothing and I can handle the rest of my cycle so much easier.

[Carol in Cal.]

Borage oil worked for me for that.

And I liked the fact that it's a nutrient rather than a drug.

 

I would take 2-4 capsules per day.  It seems binary in function--more or less either it works or it doesn't, not something that you can take a little of and have it reduce but not eliminate the symptoms.  So a good starting point is to start taking it a couple of days before D-day, and then see whether you don't have a D day that month, and then reduce from there.

 

This is one of the brands that I used:

 

http://www.gnc.com/womens-health/686585.html?product_id=686585&flagtype=nonbrand&vendor=none&channel=ppc&adpos=1o3&creative=189757865425&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAiAxarQBRAmEiwA6YcGKAByk9z9ATWzkP2fxBAizkjcqIS_K5iCh9KkxkDJHOj6ZutQX7tR3BoCfx8QAvD_BwE

 

Also, after menopause this went away.  Yay!

Edited November 14, 2017 by Carol in Cal.