My dss16

[Ausmumof3]

Also the doctor said that you cannot out exercise a bad diet. He says dss needs some weight training (getting his heart rate over 120) and some cardio. 15 each per day. That this issue (of being overweight) is 20% exercise and 80% food intake.

This is true but for me exercise reduces appetite making it easier to fix the diet. Just something to keep in mind if he's always hungry.

[kitten18]

I would bet $1,000 that he is insulin resistant. All the standard eat less/move more diet advice will do very little for him.

[Guest]

This is true but for me exercise reduces appetite making it easier to fix the diet. Just something to keep in mind if he's always hungry.

For a whole lot of us fat kids, it just makes us hungrier. Working up an appetite isn't just a phrase ;)

[itsheresomewhere]

For a whole lot of us fat kids, it just makes us hungrier. Working up an appetite isn't just a phrase ;)

Yep. The more I work out, the hungrier I am.

[regentrude]

I would bet $1,000 that he is insulin resistant. All the standard eat less/move more diet advice will do very little for him.

 

The OP mentioned in another recent thread that her dss easily lost weight through light/moderate exercise before.

 

"Two years ago he road his bike around that block about 16-20 times per day....so 4 or 5 miles. He lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks."

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/index.php?app=forums&module=post&section=post&do=reply_post&f=31&t=655630&qpid=7751767

 

6lbs per week is a substantial amount, and it came off without strenuous exercise.

Edited August 29, 2017 by regentrude

[regentrude]

Yep. The more I work out, the hungrier I am.

 

Sure - because the workout burns calories. I get hungry, too. (I only have no appetite after extremely strenuous exercise that leaves me too exhausted to eat)

But if the person did not eat more in response to the hunger, because the caloric supply is limited, weight loss would ensue.

I have not met an obese long distance hiker. If you limit access to calories, exercise will cause weight loss. It's just hard (and perhaps impossible) to refrain from eating when one sits hungry next to a filled fridge :)

Edited August 29, 2017 by regentrude

[Scarlett]

The OP mentioned in another recent thread that her dss easily lost weight through light/moderate exercise before.

 

"Two years ago he road his bike around that block about 16-20 times per day....so 4 or 5 miles. He lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks."

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/index.php?app=forums&module=post&section=post&do=reply_post&f=31&t=655630&qpid=7751767

 

6lbs per week is a substantial amount, and it came off without strenuous exercise.

Right. Every time he has cut back on calories and/ or moved more he loses weight.

[regentrude]

Right. Every time he has cut back on calories and/ or moved more he loses weight.

 

That should really motivate him, because if he could do it before, he can do it again.

[Annie G]

The OP mentioned in another recent thread that her dss easily lost weight through light/moderate exercise before.

 

"Two years ago he road his bike around that block about 16-20 times per day....so 4 or 5 miles. He lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks."

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/index.php?app=forums&module=post&section=post&do=reply_post&f=31&t=655630&qpid=7751767

 

6lbs per week is a substantial amount, and it came off without strenuous exercise.

 

Holy cow, I'm envious! Five days a week I'm either on the bike trail for 10-20 miles or I'm in a 60 minute spin class. And I'm lucky to lose half a pound a week.  Menopause seems to have all but halted my metabolism. 

 

If he can drop weight that easily with light/moderate exercise, he will be at a normal weight in no time. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

The OP mentioned in another recent thread that her dss easily lost weight through light/moderate exercise before.

 

"Two years ago he road his bike around that block about 16-20 times per day....so 4 or 5 miles. He lost 12 pounds in 2 weeks."

 

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/index.php?app=forums&module=post&section=post&do=reply_post&f=31&t=655630&qpid=7751767

 

6lbs per week is a substantial amount, and it came off without strenuous exercise.

You can easily become insulin resistant in two years. The sudden weight gain of 32 pounds in one year is a red flag for insulin resistance. But if a Hemoglobin A1C was done, then they will know soon enough. The hormonal properties of insulin can really do a number on your metabolism and weight loss abilities. Not irreparable, of course. But it might need a different approach. My own doctor resisted putting me on Metformin and I wish he hadn't been. It made a world of difference in being able to lose. (Note- that is just one med and approach among many but one my body needed even after going low carb. )

[Scarlett]

You can easily become insulin resistant in two years. The sudden weight gain of 32 pounds in one year is a red flag for insulin resistance. But if a Hemoglobin A1C was done, then they will know soon enough. The hormonal properties of insulin can really do a number on your metabolism and weight loss abilities. Not irreparable, of course. But it might need a different approach. My own doctor resisted putting me on Metformin and I wish he hadn't been. It made a world of difference in being able to lose. (Note- that is just one med and approach among many but one my body needed even after going low carb. )

 

 

He also grew 3 inches, but that is not enough to account for 32 pounds in a year.  

 

I hope it is not something like insulin resistance.  He did lose 15-17 pounds quite easily IMO a few months back, so I hope that is a good sign.

 

He and I talked last night and he doesn't want to keep doing WW.  He looked over the diet plan the doctor gave him and he wants to go by that instead.  I told him that was fine of course and he can tell me what he would like me to buy so that he can eat healthily the easiest.  

 

He was home alone from 2 to 10 last night because all of us were in the city at the hospital with our friends.  He made a big salad and a pan of homemade soup.  So I know he is feeling encouraged at the moment.  

[Scarlett]

Holy cow, I'm envious! Five days a week I'm either on the bike trail for 10-20 miles or I'm in a 60 minute spin class. And I'm lucky to lose half a pound a week.  Menopause seems to have all but halted my metabolism. 

 

If he can drop weight that easily with light/moderate exercise, he will be at a normal weight in no time. 

 

 

I am sure he can't keep up that kind of rapid weight loss through the whole process.  But if he cuts food intake and exercises and does some weight work he should be able to get it off in 6 months or so maybe.

[Reefgazer]

I feel for the kid - I've been overweight most of my life, although I have lost weight and gotten healthier in recent years.  One thing that mattered for me was *my* motivation and what I put in my mouth.  Those were always the 2 determining factors on whether I lost weight or not.  Self-esteem isn't and wasn't my problem; I know that's the go-to explanation for fat people, but I don't think they have any less self-esteem than anyone else.  Exercise actually didn't matter much for weight loss for me.  It made me healthier and I felt better on exercise, but it didn't really impact my weight loss; I can loose 1-2 pounds a week without exercise because what I put in my mouth matters most (and I'm a middle-aged woman).  So I would focus on food first.  It helped me to set small, manageable goals - say, lose 5 pounds in a month.  Once he hits that goal (that should be an easy goal and if he's diligent, he'll probably exceed it, which will make him feel good), set another 5 pound goal.  I use Fitday.com, because it is free, simple to use, and flexible; I find weight watchers too expensive and complicated.  Tracking my food and weight loss has been a game-changer for me.  I found that if I didn't lose on my planned diet, it was because my portion estimates were too high and once I started measuring stuff, I was back on track.  It may also help to make this a family affair, with the family cook cooking things like chicken and steamed veggies for everyone in the family to eat at dinner.  I had to keep garbage food out of the house because otherwise I would gorge on it until it was gone (so yeah, that means no one gets to eat that stuff, not even the family skinny-minnies).  The diabetic diet is wonderful, even for those people without diabetes; I latched on to that diet because it was lower in carbs than many diets and I found I was never hungry on that diet.  Maybe see if you can get him on board with something simple like that, having him choose meals with you that would work for weight loss.  These are just a few ideas that have worked for me, if you want to give them a go in your house.

 

As for motivation, unfortunately, that's tougher.  I saw a trainer and nutritionist for a while and it didn't matter until *I* was motivated to make it work.  Can you talk to him about what he most wants for himself, and why he would like to lose weight?  Once you find what matters to him, you might be able to use that to shore up his motivation when it flags. 

 

 

ETA:  I am *not* suggesting in my post that your DSS forego exercise, and I want to clarify that because I know someone will jump on my ass for implying that.  I do want to say that a lack of exercise has not impeded me from losing weight.  I feel better on exercise and am healthier for it, but I am living proof it is not necessary for weight loss.  So if he hates exercise, have him tackle the weight loss first anyway.  Once he is successful, the motivation to exercise may follow.  Anyway, if and when he wants to exercise, get him a set of free weights at Wal-Mart and have him check out the excellent videos for weight training online.  That way, he can exercise whenever he would like, at his own pace and weight capabilities, and it's very low cost.  Although in the early days of my journey, I did body weight exercises that required no special equipment.  I used this book:  "You Are Your Own Gym", by Mark Lauren (don't be put off by the jock-ish cover; I am far, far from a jock and the book works for everyone).  Come to think of it, I need to go back to that book; I miss the simplicity of it.

Edited August 30, 2017 by reefgazer

[Reefgazer]

This strikes me as very odd.  Although A dietician didn't matter for me because I am aware of nutrition, many people are not, and a one-time visit with a dietician can't really hurt anything and can only help. 

 

ETA:  Nevermind, I see you answered this.

He has plenty to focus on besides his weight.  

 

I asked about the dietitian but the doctor said he wouldn't recommend that yet.  Not before we try a few things he has in mind.

 

Edited August 30, 2017 by reefgazer

[Scarlett]

This strikes me as very odd. Although A dietician didn't matter for me because I am aware of nutrition, many people are not, and a one-time visit with a dietician can't really hurt anything and can only help.

 

ETA: Nevermind, I see you answered this.

I am sure it has to do with insurance

[Reefgazer]

I think this is the perfect starter amount of exercise.  He can add an extra 5 minutes of cardio at a time as it gets easier for him. 

I agree that you cannot out- exercise a bad diet. However, two people the same height and the same weight will look totally different if one is a couch potato and one exercises regularly.  When you turn 10 pounds of fat into muscle  it looks different.  And exercise is good for you, just like eating healthy food is good for you. The doc's recommendation for 15 minutes of cardio and 15 minutes of weight training seems too little unless it's something like p90x  or some other pretty serious workout. Which will be hard for dss to do at first!

 

[Scarlett]

I feel for the kid - I've been overweight most of my life, although I have lost weight and gotten healthier in recent years. One thing that mattered for me was *my* motivation and what I put in my mouth. Those were always the 2 determining factors on whether I lost weight or not. Self-esteem isn't and wasn't my problem; I know that's the go-to explanation for fat people, but I don't think they have any less self-esteem than anyone else. Exercise actually didn't matter much for weight loss for me. It made me healthier and I felt better on exercise, but it didn't really impact my weight loss; I can loose 1-2 pounds a week without exercise because what I put in my mouth matters most (and I'm a middle-aged woman). So I would focus on food first. It helped me to set small, manageable goals - say, lose 5 pounds in a month. Once he hits that goal (that should be an easy goal and if he's diligent, he'll probably exceed it, which will make him feel good), set another 5 pound goal. I use Fitday.com, because it is free, simple to use, and flexible; I find weight watchers too expensive and complicated. Tracking my food and weight loss has been a game-changer for me. I found that if I didn't lose on my planned diet, it was because my portion estimates were too high and once I started measuring stuff, I was back on track. It may also help to make this a family affair, with the family cook cooking things like chicken and steamed veggies for everyone in the family to eat at dinner. I had to keep garbage food out of the house because otherwise I would gorge on it until it was gone (so yeah, that means no one gets to eat that stuff, not even the family skinny-minnies). The diabetic diet is wonderful, even for those people without diabetes; I latched on to that diet because it was lower in carbs than many diets and I found I was never hungry on that diet. Maybe see if you can get him on board with something simple like that, having him choose meals with you that would work for weight loss. These are just a few ideas that have worked for me, if you want to give them a go in your house.

 

As for motivation, unfortunately, that's tougher. I saw a trainer and nutritionist for a while and it didn't matter until *I* was motivated to make it work. Can you talk to him about what he most wants for himself, and why he would like to lose weight? Once you find what matters to him, you might be able to use that to shore up his motivation when it flags. Has he ever tried to lose weight, and if so, has it been successful or not?

 

 

ETA: I am *not* suggesting in my post that your DSS forego exercise, and I want to clarify that because I know someone will jump on my ass for implying that. I do want to say that a lack of exercise has not impeded me from losing weight. I feel better on exercise and am healthier for it, but I am living proof it is not necessary for weight loss. So if he hates exercise, have him tackle the weight loss first anyway. Once he is successful, the motivation to exercise may follow. Anyway, if and when he wants to exercise, get him a set of free weights at Wal-Mart and have him check out the excellent videos for weight training online. That way, he can exercise whenever he would like, at his own pace and weight capabilities, and it's very low cost. Although in the early days of my journey, I did body weight exercises that required no special equipment. I used this book: "You Are Your Own Gym", by Mark Lauren (don't be put off by the jock-ish cover; I am far, far from a jock and the book works for everyone). Come to think of it, I need to go back to that book; I miss the simplicity of it.

He helps me cook a lot. We cook healthy foods. He does want to lose weight and now he knows it is critical he do so.

[Alicia64]

Also the doctor said that you cannot out exercise a bad diet.  He says dss needs some weight training (getting his heart rate over 120) and some cardio. 15 each per day.  That this issue (of being overweight) is 20% exercise and 80% food intake.

 

Scarlett, I completely agree with the dr. Workouts tone and strenthen, but unless you're eating differently you'll still be big. I lost 48 lbs. on WW 11 years ago. I had to drastically change how I related to food.

 

Hold old is your son? I'm sorry if someone has already asked. My son is large too. At the same time he comes from a line of tall people -- one grandfather was 6'3 and asked to play football when he was at UC Berkeley (he said no). The other grandfather was 6'2.

 

Dh is 6' and I'm 5'7.

 

Our doctor who seems very competent didn't say a word. My son is about 6'1 (last I looked) at 14. And yes, he weighs more than he "should."

 

Maybe I'm mishandling this, but I keep thinking that the weight will even out once he hits his full height. He was 6'1 when he was 13.

 

He works out three times a week at a martial arts place that is heavy on working out.

 

Anyway, how old is your son?

 

Alley

[regentrude]

Anyway, how old is your son?

 

According to the title of the thread: 16

[Scarlett]

Scarlett, I completely agree with the dr. Workouts tone and strenthen, but unless you're eating differently you'll still be big. I lost 48 lbs. on WW 11 years ago. I had to drastically change how I related to food.

 

Hold old is your son? I'm sorry if someone has already asked. My son is large too. At the same time he comes from a line of tall people -- one grandfather was 6'3 and asked to play football when he was at UC Berkeley (he said no). The other grandfather was 6'2.

 

Dh is 6' and I'm 5'7.

 

Our doctor who seems very competent didn't say a word. My son is about 6'1 (last I looked) at 14. And yes, he weighs more than he "should."

 

Maybe I'm mishandling this, but I keep thinking that the weight will even out once he hits his full height. He was 6'1 when he was 13.

 

He works out three times a week at a martial arts place that is heavy on working out.

 

Anyway, how old is your son?

 

Alley

 

 

Yes he is 16.  He has only lived with us full time for a year.  So we had very little control over help and encouragement.  I wish we could have started talking to him seriously before now.  He is a big kid...like his dad, my dh....but he is still 75 to 100 pounds overweight.  37 BMI.

Edited August 30, 2017 by Scarlett

[FaithManor]

All I have to offer Scarlett is just encouraging you to plan meals around the doctor's recommendations since you have one who actually knows something about nutrition and weight loss (many are not trained much in this area), and being his cheerleader...just building his sense of self worth which has probably taken a beating through the crap he has dealt with - his mother,GAH - and so this is not an easy thing to navigate.

[Murphy101]

I don't think any diet that he has to do is going to work.

 

He needs to be able to eat the same as the rest of the family.

 

If he needs a trainer in town, then that's where I'd go get one. It's frustrating, but I'd view it as no different than seeing any medical professional. If he had heart problems, which he likely will eventually if this keeps up, we wouldn't just not see one because there isn't one here. We'd go to town. Multiple times a week if necessary.

 

What are his interests? What does he enjoy doing or watching in his spare time? What does he and his friends do when hanging out?

[Murphy101]

I didn't think any of your posts were shaming him. But scaring him won't help either. I don't think that was anyone's intention when talking to him. But he is 16. They are tricky bundles of contrary emotional reactions and sometimes how they internalize things is far different than adults around them comprehend. Btdt.

[Catwoman]

I am sure he can't keep up that kind of rapid weight loss through the whole process.  But if he cuts food intake and exercises and does some weight work he should be able to get it off in 6 months or so maybe.

I don't think it would be realistic to set a goal of losing 75-100 pounds in only 6 months. That's a lot more than a pound or two a week, which would seem more reasonable and sustainable.

 

I also agree with Martha that it would be best if he could eat the same as the rest of the family. Is this new eating plan something you could all do as a family?

[HomeAgain]

Scarlett, does your grocery store do tours with a dietician?  A lot of them do on request or on a monthly basis.  I know you say you eat healthy, but they can help tweak eating habits.  And the ones I have known also have contacts with the fitness community and can give you a good lead on a trainer.  I would be surprised if there weren't also groups in your area like Roadrunners or something where people just get together to support each other.  They're not usually widely publicized - you have to search them out.

 

It might be in your future to be doing mandatory family fun day once a week.  We started making it not-optional for the kids to ride their bikes.  Everyone's gets packed up to go to the trails at least weekly and it is just expected that everyone will participate - even the teen when he is home from college.  We ride for an hour and a half, each at their own speed (timers are set for the halfway mark). It means the span is between 10 and 25 miles given the ability of each person, but each person rides.  We invite them to play basketball with us after dinner.  Set up yoga mats on the rainy days, one for each person.  The goal is to not only make it an option, but an expectation.

[Murphy101]

I am sure he can't keep up that kind of rapid weight loss through the whole process. But if he cuts food intake and exercises and does some weight work he should be able to get it off in 6 months or so maybe.

No. Just no. It will likely take at least twice that long to do it in a healthy sustained loss manner.

 

Slow and steady win the weight loss race.

[ktgrok]

Has he had his hemoglobin a1c tested? If he is insulin resistant then his body will be primed to hold onto fat and gain weight no matter what he does. He may need to have something like Metformin before he can start to lose some weight. Being shamed, even by a doctor, won't do it.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

This. Biochemically he is probably being driven to eat, and to store fat. It's not about willpower, it's about biochemistry. Please make sure he isn't shamed for this. 

[itsheresomewhere]

I am sure he can't keep up that kind of rapid weight loss through the whole process.  But if he cuts food intake and exercises and does some weight work he should be able to get it off in 6 months or so maybe.

 

It should take longer than 6 months or so. Slow weight loss is better than fast.  Those who lose fast tend to gain at all back ( plus 20lbs) within a few years.  

[ktgrok]

Also the doctor said that you cannot out exercise a bad diet.  He says dss needs some weight training (getting his heart rate over 120) and some cardio. 15 each per day.  That this issue (of being overweight) is 20% exercise and 80% food intake.

 

This, ;plus the fact that your doctor has lost weight himself makes me think he's going to be a good support in this fight. I'm very hopeful!

 

Give your DSS a hug from me, if you can. Obesity is a rough, rough disease. And the doctor is right, losing weight can be life changing. 

 

Oh, my heart just hurts for your boy. 

[ktgrok]

For a whole lot of us fat kids, it just makes us hungrier. Working up an appetite isn't just a phrase ;)

 

Same. I can crave a hamburger WHILE running on the treadmill :)

SaveSave

[ktgrok]

What kind of diet plan did the doctor send home? 

 

[Murphy101]

I second the bloodwork might be a factor.

 

My thyroid was off and holy moly. It's like the switch that moderated when I was full not only broke, it flipped to FEED ME in overdrive. I never felt full and always felt food deprived. And all my mojo shriveled up and died. So motivation to do more than get through the day was mighty hard to dredge up. I gained some serious fluff back. And it's no simple thing to convince a brain screaming it's "starving" to shut up. It's not about will power.

[Alicia64]

Yes he is 16.  He has only lived with us full time for a year.  So we had very little control over help and encouragement.  I wish we could have started talking to him seriously before now.  He is a big kid...like his dad, my dh....but he is still 75 to 100 pounds overweight.  37 BMI.

 

Oh, I'm so sorry. I just realized that his age was in your title. (I was running around too fast today.)

 

Here's what I'm starting tomorrow. My boys and I -- they're 14 -- are going to watch these documentaries together. I think education can be pretty powerful. We're starting with Fed Up first.

 

Fed Up -- on Netflix about sugar.

 

All on Netflix: Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead

 

Feel Rich (about eating poorly)

What the Health, Sports Adventure

In Defense of Food

Hungry for Change

 

Top 10 Must See Food Documentaries: https://www.shapefit.com/diet/top-10-documentaries-food.html

 

My sister's husband's brother died at age 50 -- he was huge. Lovely, sweet guy but easily 300 lbs. if not much more. He was tall -- like 6'2. It crushed his poor mother. He and she were very close. He was a pediatric dentist and very successful.

 

I'm going to start the education process and if I don't see changes with both sons (one is a rail and one not), I'll take my larger son to WW. It will be non-negotiable. At this point, I've bent over backward to help him feel good about himself. If I bug him about anything, it's pimples.

 

But serious weight problems kill. That's why you don't see enormous 80 year olds.

 

Good luck Scarlett -- I know you're being very caring towards this boy.

 

Alley

[Scarlett]

No. Just no. It will likely take at least twice that long to do it in a healthy sustained loss manner.

 

Slow and steady win the weight loss race.

If he loses 100 pounds I agree it will take a year. But I don't think he thinks he needs to lose 100 pounds.

[Guest]

Weight loss slows as body mass reduces and you're in deficit longer. Just be aware the last ten pounds can take as long as the first fifty.

 

And really, take it from someone who was a fat kid and a fat adult and a thin adult and then a fat adult again - cutting calories really isn't the way to do it, long term, for sustained weight loss. I probably sound like a broken record but just eating less doesn't solve what is *driving* the urge to eat, let alone the excess energy storage. Eric Westman, Michael Eades, Jason Fung, even Paul Jaminet - all good authors to look into on the subject of how to reduce weight as comfortably and healthfully as possible, along with reducing body inflammation (which is essentially what high cholesterol is - inflammation in the arteries).

 

If he likes online accountability and videos I'd recommend dietdoctor.com over any personal trainer.

 

He can always phase in more starch and complex carbs as he tolerates it closer to goal, but for actually getting the weight off without cheating and chewing his arm off in six weeks? Please don't just hit the calorie reduction angle. There are maybe 20% of people that works for, and most weren't the ones who found themselves morbidly obese by the end of puberty. Ask me how I know :(

[Scarlett]

Thanks everyone. I see now that I think about it he can't lose 100 pounds in 6 months.

 

Tonight he made grilled chicken, roasted brussel sprouts, rice and some carrots that he shredded and cooked in foil on the grill. He said there wasn't enough carrots for everyone but he wasn't eating the rice. He also rode his bike twice this afternoon and messed around with the weights some. And downloaded a step counter to his phone.

 

He goes for his blood work I the morning.

 

No one is shaming him. And no one is trying to scare him, but he should be a little scared by the FACTS and by the reality of his situation. His brother who is 4 1/2 years older lost about 40-50 pounds last year. He is now about 190 at 6'2 ish.

 

My husband just had a total knee replacement and needs a back surgery. So he is limited in how much physical exercise he can do with dss at the moment.

[Scarlett]

Weight loss slows as body mass reduces and you're in deficit longer. Just be aware the last ten pounds can take as long as the first fifty.

 

And really, take it from someone who was a fat kid and a fat adult and a thin adult and then a fat adult again - cutting calories really isn't the way to do it, long term, for sustained weight loss. I probably sound like a broken record but just eating less doesn't solve what is *driving* the urge to eat, let alone the excess energy storage. Eric Westman, Michael Eades, Jason Fung, even Paul Jaminet - all good authors to look into on the subject of how to reduce weight as comfortably and healthfully as possible, along with reducing body inflammation (which is essentially what high cholesterol is - inflammation in the arteries).

 

If he likes online accountability and videos I'd recommend dietdoctor.com over any personal trainer.

 

He can always phase in more starch and complex carbs as he tolerates it closer to goal, but for actually getting the weight off without cheating and chewing his arm off in six weeks? Please don't just hit the calorie reduction angle. There are maybe 20% of people that works for, and most weren't the ones who found themselves morbidly obese by the end of puberty. Ask me how I know :(

I am not really sure what you are saying. I don't know how a person loses weight without eating fewer calories.

[Murphy101]

If he loses 100 pounds I agree it will take a year. But I don't think he thinks he needs to lose 100 pounds.

 

It could very realisticly take 9-12 months to lose 50 pounds even with very consistent hard effort.

 

I am not really sure what you are saying. I don't know how a person loses weight without eating fewer calories.

I did. Stop calorie counting. Stop weighing. Stop portion checking. I do none of that. Because it's depressing, frustrating and makes me feel micromanaged resentful. And because it just doesn't work long term.

 

None of that is as important or has long term effective as focusing on eating healthy foods and being more active.

 

Weight is not a simple intake outtake formula.

Edited August 31, 2017 by Murphy101

[Scarlett]

It could very realisticly take 9-12 months to lose 50 pounds even with very consistent hard effort.

 

I did. Stop calorie counting. Stop weighing. Stop portion checking. I do none of that. Because it's depressing, frustrating and makes me feel micromanaged resentful. And because it just doesn't work long term.

 

None of that is as important or has long term effective as focusing on eating healthy foods and being more active.

 

Weight is not a simple intake outtake formula.

Depends on who you ask.

 

However one does it....WW, calorie counting...ect....you have to eat less than you expend in order to lose weight.

 

Healthy foods? I can eat enough avacdoa to make me fat I promise. At some point one has to limit intake.

[Scarlett]

Eventually....after a person has counted calories and weighed food and measured portions.....said person learns how much is too much and how much is enough. So they may not need a scale or measuring cup but they ' know' how much is enough.

[Murphy101]

Eventually....after a person has counted calories and weighed food and measured portions.....said person learns how much is too much and how much is enough. So they may not need a scale or measuring cup but they ' know' how much is enough.

No. Not really. There's plenty of fat people and formerly fat people disproving that.

 

But I don't want to argue because I wish him genuine and heartfelt best of luck.

[Catwoman]

Thanks everyone. I see now that I think about it he can't lose 100 pounds in 6 months.

 

Tonight he made grilled chicken, roasted brussel sprouts, rice and some carrots that he shredded and cooked in foil on the grill. He said there wasn't enough carrots for everyone but he wasn't eating the rice. He also rode his bike twice this afternoon and messed around with the weights some. And downloaded a step counter to his phone.

 

He goes for his blood work I the morning.

 

No one is shaming him. And no one is trying to scare him, but he should be a little scared by the FACTS and by the reality of his situation. His brother who is 4 1/2 years older lost about 40-50 pounds last year. He is now about 190 at 6'2 ish.

 

My husband just had a total knee replacement and needs a back surgery. So he is limited in how much physical exercise he can do with dss at the moment.

I'm wondering why your dss is cooking his own meals. Can't you make healthy meals for the entire family to eat? Doesn't it seem odd for him to have a different diet than the rest of the family? I would think that would be difficult for him as time goes on, particularly if the rest of you are eating a higher calorie meal that your dss would love to have but can't eat because of his diet plan.

[Scarlett]

I'm wondering why your dss is cooking his own meals. Can't you make healthy meals for the entire family to eat? Doesn't it seem odd for him to have a different diet than the rest of the family? I would think that would be difficult for him as time goes on, particularly if the rest of you are eating a higher calorie meal that your dss would love to have but can't eat because of his diet plan.

He cooked dinner for all of us. He ate carrots instead of rice. Other wise It was the same for all of us.

 

And no I don't think he can eat every thing my son eats who has to eat high calorie or he loses weight.

Edited August 31, 2017 by Scarlett

[Scarlett]

No. Not really. There's plenty of fat people and formerly fat people disproving that.

 

But I don't want to argue because I wish him genuine and heartfelt best of luck.

No not really what? A person doesn't learn how much is too much food if they want to lose weight or not gain more weight?

 

I think 'eat healthy' sounds nice but really at some point portions have to be controlled.

[Frances]

He cooked dinner for all of us. He ate carrots instead of rice. Other wise It was the same for all of us.

 

And no I don't think he can eat every thing my son eats who has to eat high calorie or he loses weight.

I think it's great that your son likes to cook for the family and that should definitely help with his weight loss goals. It's great that he wa able to make rice for others, but focus on protein and veggies for himself. My son also loves to cook and has developed lots of interest in and knowledge of healthy eating. I wish your ds the best of luck on his journey toward a healthy weight and lifestyle.

 

But I wouldn't be too concerned about your other son losing weight. My son is only 2' shorter and weighs significantly less, but is still quite healthy and muscular. Whenever I see old movies or news clips, I realize that the norm used to be men who look like my son, as most people were much more physically active.

[Liz CA]

All I have to offer Scarlett is just encouraging you to plan meals around the doctor's recommendations since you have one who actually knows something about nutrition and weight loss (many are not trained much in this area), and being his cheerleader...just building his sense of self worth which has probably taken a beating through the crap he has dealt with - his mother,GAH - and so this is not an easy thing to navigate.

 

Obviously not knowing anything about him, I do wonder if he eats to stuff emotion and cope.

A dietary approach perhaps coupled with some counseling?

[Scarlett]

I think it's great that your son likes to cook for the family and that should definitely help with his weight loss goals. It's great that he wa able to make rice for others, but focus on protein and veggies for himself. My son also loves to cook and has developed lots of interest in and knowledge of healthy eating. I wish your ds the best of luck on his journey toward a healthy weight and lifestyle.

 

But I wouldn't be too concerned about your other son losing weight. My son is only 2' shorter and weighs significantly less, but is still quite healthy and muscular. Whenever I see old movies or news clips, I realize that the norm used to be men who look like my son, as most people were much more physically active.

I am not worried about my son losing weight. He is 6'3 and weighs 190 but if he doesn't eat constantly he will lose quickly....he wants to keep his weight at 190. He lifts weights and is very lean but muscular.

[Scarlett]

Obviously not knowing anything about him, I do wonder if he eats to stuff emotion and cope.

A dietary approach perhaps coupled with some counseling?

There was a time when I felt dss was a very emotional eater. I don't feel that way so much now....but I think he has set his habits and metabolism and he needs to reset.

[Scarlett]

I think it's great that your son likes to cook for the family and that should definitely help with his weight loss goals. It's great that he wa able to make rice for others, but focus on protein and veggies for himself. My son also loves to cook and has developed lots of interest in and knowledge of healthy eating. I wish your ds the best of luck on his journey toward a healthy weight and lifestyle.

 

But I wouldn't be too concerned about your other son losing weight. My son is only 2' shorter and weighs significantly less, but is still quite healthy and muscular. Whenever I see old movies or news clips, I realize that the norm used to be men who look like my son, as most people were much more physically active.

I work two full days at the office and a third running errands. So a couple of nights a week I make a plan and dss cooks. He helps plan....he is planning to be a chef so this works out ok for our family.

[Guest]

No not really what? A person doesn't learn how much is too much food if they want to lose weight or not gain more weight?

 

I think 'eat healthy' sounds nice but really at some point portions have to be controlled.

Katie and Jean already mentioned this and so have others, but controlling the types of food you are eating tends to be a heck of a lot more effective than controlling the quantity. You want to get to self limiting, where his body is driving him to eat proper amounts because he isn't getting ravenous hunger cues. All the people I listed are Whole Foods lower carb people, and their plans and general theories can help him do that. Cut what is signaling insulin release and you cut he hunger. I can literally eat HALF the amount of food and be full when it is full of fat, protein, fiber, and little to no natural starch or sugar than when I eat a diet than is thin on fat and includes more starch. In people who get fat early in life his is extremely common, much moreso than those who tend to remain at a healthy weight until hormones change things up in mid life. What causss dysfunctions in energy management and storage in a young body, on an endocrine level, looks different than a few extra pounds.

 

Let him check out the authors and site, see if any connect with him. Self motivation is going to go so much further than fear tactics or other people helping him. If it is his plan and you can enable him in it success is a lot more likely. But just eating less of the same foods that made you fat just makes you hungry as the gap between your energy demands and intake grows (the body works very very hard to remain homeostatic). Change the food type, change the hunger signaling, weight loss happens because the drive to consume is lessened drastically.

 

One more resource that might be good for you to read,whether he'd like her or not, is Amanda Sainsbury Salis. She explains in general concepts what I'm getting at and her books are fantastic and encouraging without being "diet-y".

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B004SKGYTY/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1