LarlaB Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 DH and I are coming up on 21 years of marriage. The last 3 have been really hard years due to job loss, NPD family issues, financial stress, physical challenges and trauma related issues, self employment and so on.... Just a ball of struggle. Pretty much everything has been shaken. But because of the grace of God we are still here. And committed. And relieved to still be "in love" although hardened and calloused a bit. We would like to buy new, matching or coordinating wedding bands to mark this milestone anniversary. But nothing expensive. Quality materials yes, expensive stones- no. I've trolled around Etsy and found a few that are appealing- probably too artistic for my DH though. Any ideas? Anyone BTDT? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 On the tail of financial stress I would not purchase any material item to mark any occasion. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 On the tail of financial stress I would not purchase any material item to mark any occasion. I disagree. These bands sound like....ebenezers. I think it's a lovely idea. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
solascriptura Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 What about white gold with a meaningful engraving? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 I have learned a lot in the past ten years about how material and spiritual are not in as much disunity as I used to think they were. The material can make manifest a spiritual reality. The fact that you have made it through 21 years of marriage and have re-upped, can be beautifully reflected in this kind of item. Do what pleases you and makes manifest a non-material reality. You might take a look at some antique stores, or those places that buy back gold and silver, to avoid markup My dh and I had a miracle in our marriage 23 years ago. It is too long to explain but I have a beautiful ring that was his gift to me. Every single time I look at it I am completely amazazed at what happened and reminded that nothing--nothing--is impossible. I think that's a good use of a material item. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kroe1 Posted July 4, 2017 Share Posted July 4, 2017 Why not just go to a jewelry store, or even WalMart, and pick them out together. That, in and of itself can be romantic. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Selkie Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Happy anniversary! I hope you find just what you're looking for. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten18 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 DH and I are coming up on 21 years of marriage. The last 3 have been really hard years due to job loss, NPD family issues, financial stress, physical challenges and trauma related issues, self employment and so on.... Just a ball of struggle. Pretty much everything has been shaken. But because of the grace of God we are still here. And committed. And relieved to still be "in love" although hardened and calloused a bit. We would like to buy new, matching or coordinating wedding bands to mark this milestone anniversary. But nothing expensive. Quality materials yes, expensive stones- no. I've trolled around Etsy and found a few that are appealing- probably too artistic for my DH though. Any ideas? Anyone BTDT? Maybe if you find something for yourself on Etsy you can ask the seller if they can make something that is more simple but complimentary for your DH. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bettyandbob Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Wow. This thread seems to have gotten off track fast! OP. Happy anniversary! I don't have an anniversary band. It sounds like a lovely way to mark the milestone. I hope you and your dh enjoy finding something special. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 My DH doesn't wear rings, so it wouldn't be special for him, but he would understand if it were for me. I think it's a lovely idea. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 I disagree. These bands sound like....ebenezers. I think it's a lovely idea. Yes. We are Christians (former pastors) and I'm reminded of the various Old Testament stories where the people of God built many many altars as visible & tangible reminders of God's help (which is what ebenezer means- stone of help, I believe). 13 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MedicMom Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 My wedding ring is lovely but it was actually sold as an anniversary ring. It wasn't expensive at all, less than a hundred if I remember correctly(in 2008). You might go to jewelry stores and specifically ask to look at anniversary rings; we found that they were much less expensive than wedding rings. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 I have learned a lot in the past ten years about how material and spiritual are not in as much disunity as I used to think they were. The material can make manifest a spiritual reality. The fact that you have made it through 21 years of marriage and have re-upped, can be beautifully reflected in this kind of item. Do what pleases you and makes manifest a non-material reality. You might take a look at some antique stores, or those places that buy back gold and silver, to avoid markup My dh and I had a miracle in our marriage 23 years ago. It is too long to explain but I have a beautiful ring that was his gift to me. Every single time I look at it I am completely amazazed at what happened and reminded that nothing--nothing--is impossible. I think that's a good use of a material item. Thank you for this perspective- I appreciate you sharing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tap Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 I have seen some pieces on the Sundance website that I liked in years past. I would likely start there. I haven't looked lately, so I have have no idea if there is anything nice right now or not. YOu might search for local artisans to see if anyone has something unique that speaks to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melbotoast Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Maybe if you find something for yourself on Etsy you can ask the seller if they can make something that is more simple but complimentary for your DH. :iagree: I hope you find something you both like! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Supertechmom Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 We decided to have a ring custom made for us. It is a custom wood ring I think called simple wood rings or something like that.i would have to look it up if you are interested. I haven't gotten it yet but can't wait. It is made of wood that represents the month we married and then has our birth stones crushed together and then all the kids birthstones mingled together. We also like the silicone rings and tungsten rings too. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 These rings are made from coins. Perhaps your anniversary year? https://www.etsy.com/listing/186913304/1998-90-silver-washington-us-quarter?utm_campaign=shopping_us_NashvilleMint_sfc_osa&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_custom1=0&utm_content=8820140&gclid=Cj0KEQjw-ezKBRCGwqyK0rHzmvkBEiQAu-_-LBXMxgxArVRbRBJtWpFvfqMCNj11tb3wERT0XxkMUVgaApdA8P8HAQ Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 quote removed by moderator The anniversary band is a visible symbol of the couple's continued love and commitment. My DH and MIL chipped in to buy me an anniversary band/"push present" after our oldest child was born. Due to the pregnancy, my fingers had grown such that my wedding band no longer fit even after I got back to my pre-pregnancy weight. The new band was token of appreciation for carrying our child/his parents' first grandchild. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Χά�ων Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 (edited) Namecalling ("frivolous", "mindless masses", "insanity") is supremely unhelpful. If the OP were asking about where should she and her DH take an anniversary trip, would anybody be bad-mouthing her decision? But HEAVEN FORBID that she actually prefer to spend on a tangible item rather than on an experience. OP, do what makes you happy and ignore the haters. Experiences > Things Edited July 5, 2017 by Χά�ων Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 (edited) On the tail of financial stress I would not purchase any material item to mark any occasion.I liked this post because by itself I thought that it was simply expressing an opinion of frugality in light of the facts presented in the OP. I didn't feel like it was rude by itself. But the later posts are not something that I could like. Edited July 5, 2017 by Jean in Newcastle 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Experiences > Things Some people feel that giving and receiving gifts is an experience. When they see their present, it's a reminder of that experience and how they felt. I know it's really popular right now to dump on anything considered a norm, but how someone experiences joy isn't less authentic just because they didn't invent the tradition themselves. A couples marriage isn't less of an experience because so many other people were married before them. I'm not a gift person myself, but the overwhelming popularity of valuing experiences over things doesn't mean that a Gift Person HAS to cave and think this way too because soooo many people think it's 'better.' 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 These rings are made from coins. Perhaps your anniversary year? https://www.etsy.com/listing/186913304/1998-90-silver-washington-us-quarter?utm_campaign=shopping_us_NashvilleMint_sfc_osa&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_custom1=0&utm_content=8820140&gclid=Cj0KEQjw-ezKBRCGwqyK0rHzmvkBEiQAu-_-LBXMxgxArVRbRBJtWpFvfqMCNj11tb3wERT0XxkMUVgaApdA8P8HAQ Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Those are super cool! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Experiences > Things That's actually very subjective. For me experiences wash away pretty quickly, but things I can come back to again and again. I'm not a stuff person by and large, but jewelry I wear on my body is a very concrete reminder in a way a trip or event never could be, because the jewelry is present and visible while the experience is in the past. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LarlaB Posted July 5, 2017 Author Share Posted July 5, 2017 These rings are made from coins. Perhaps your anniversary year? https://www.etsy.com/listing/186913304/1998-90-silver-washington-us-quarter?utm_campaign=shopping_us_NashvilleMint_sfc_osa&utm_medium=cpc&utm_source=google&utm_custom1=0&utm_content=8820140&gclid=Cj0KEQjw-ezKBRCGwqyK0rHzmvkBEiQAu-_-LBXMxgxArVRbRBJtWpFvfqMCNj11tb3wERT0XxkMUVgaApdA8P8HAQ Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk What a very cool idea!!! Thanks- I'll add that to my cart. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Larla, I hope you find something symbolic of your perseverance and your steadfastness. Life is hard at one point or another for most of us and - like Patty Joanna explained - I have come to realize that marking time is not always just staring at the clock. There can be healing in having something tangible to remind us what we came through and that we are still here, battle scars and all. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 That's actually very subjective. For me experiences wash away pretty quickly, but things I can come back to again and again. I'm not a stuff person by and large, but jewelry I wear on my body is a very concrete reminder in a way a trip or event never could be, because the jewelry is present and visible while the experience is in the past. Yes. I am not a "stuff" person, or even a gift person, but I have a necklace with all of my children's birth stones, including my angel baby's. It's precious to me. It is a way of saying to the world, "I have four kids, though you only see three." 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
emzhengjiu Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Stay on topic please! The OP asked for information about rings not her financial situation. No personal comments / attacks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Valley Girl Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Hmmm... my post from yesterday is missing but some of the harsh ones remain. I don't quite understand that. But I wanted to put my deleted good wishes to the OP back in the thread. OP, congratulations on your anniversary and overcoming such difficult challenges. I hope you find rings that are perfect for you and your DH. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crimson Wife Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 Experiences > Things Everyone's got an opinion (I'll leave the crude beginning out). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
desertstrawberry5 Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 sheesh. i think the summer heat is making some people grumpy. we got a replacement wedding set for me from amazon. it was around $25 shipped. The black has worn off, leaving it a rose gold color, which also suits me. Some of the other colors would last longer. maybe have a peek and see if something looks good to you. https://www.amazon.com/Wedding-Fashion-Jewelry-Promise-Engagement/dp/B01MPXQGXX/ref=sr_1_196?s=apparel&ie=UTF8&qid=1499264740&sr=1-196&nodeID=9539896011&psd=1&refinements=p_36%3A2661613011 I'm glad we didn't pay much, because i'm starting to lose my baby weight, and my rings are falling off. For $20, we can get a smaller set with no problem. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amber in SJ Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 After my mother's passing last year Dh found a thin band that was meant to be a wedding/ anniversary band. It has tiny diamonds and is a little bit wavy instead of going straight across. He got it for me as a reminder that life's journey can be bumpy and not smooth but still sparkle & be beautiful. It doesn't make a person materialistic or a drone bowing to societal pressure to appreciate a physical reminder of an accomplishment. 20+ years of marriage is an accomplishment! I am not a huge jewelry wearer; I don't even have pierced ears. I hope the OP finds something she loves & congratulations on your anniversary and having come through financial trials. Amber in SJ 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AHASRADA Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 When dh and I got married, we couldn't afford a diamond, so I opted for a wide and nicely carved gold band. I bought and traded in a couple of simple anniversary bands over the years to wear with my band. I had always dreamed of having a beautiful diamond ring with a large stone, but accepted that this was a foolish waste of money. During the year of our 20th, I happened into a consignment shop to look for new earrings as my others had broken. I found my "dream ring" an "eternity" setting of 3 stones, large in the center, a slightly smaller stone on each side. It's supposed to symbolize past, present and future. There is no way I ever could have afforded (or justified the expense) of this ring if it were new in a jewelry store. Now every time I look at it, I am thrilled to have a ring I thought I could only dream of, with the peace and satisfaction that no new stones were mined for it and I came by it frugally :) My advice: check out estate sales, Ebay, pawn shops, etc. You'll be amazed at what you might find! Sent from my GT-N5110 using Tapatalk 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted July 5, 2017 Share Posted July 5, 2017 There are jewelers who have ring-making workshops. You could make your own rings. I don't know where you live, but if it's in or near a major city, there should be multiple jewelers who will custom design ones for you. We designed my ring with a jeweler who worked from a drawing. I combined a few designs and tweaked things, and they took notes then sent a sketch. I think I changed things from that sketch as well. Pricescope forums are good for researching jewelers. Most people are looking for stones, but I'm sure there's info about custom bands too. You could do most things online now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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