creekland Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 This reminds me of Scouts. They have Camperships which pay half of summer camp, it was the policy of the Scout Master to put every single boy down to receive one, because hey, it's free money. One guy didn't find out until he was told he didn't qualify(dual income professional job), he was embarrassed and angry. This year some of the boys are going on a kayaking trip which costs $1400, this is a fun extra- no badge work or advancement tied to this trip. Yet, a good number of the boys going on this trip are taking camperships for summer camp. If your family can afford for you to attend a $1400 kayaking trip they can cover the $135. My Wowza moment came at school. One young lad couldn't go on a field trip to Washington DC. Why not I wondered and asked the teachers. He didn't pay his $5 fee. That's it??? Why didn't anyone chip in for him????? 'Cause his mom was in the Bahamas on a vacation... It wasn't an oversight/forgetfulness either. She had fussed with the teachers about how she couldn't afford the $5 and was there a way he could earn the money or a fund that would pay for him? This mom essentially never paid anything for her kid at school (it wasn't just this trip), but had no problem spending on a vacation for herself to the Bahamas. The takeaway? Some kids have rotten parents. I feel sorry for their kids. 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Oh, this REALLY gets under my skin! There is a family here that has put 2 GoFundMe links on the mom's Facebook page. One was for their daughter's bipolar medication, and the other because they were "going through a rough time" and needed some help because disability wouldn't come through for a few weeks. These are 2 middle age educated people with 3 semi-grown kids. And it's the MOM who puts it on HER page. I can almost not even believe it. If the request was for funds for bipolar meds, it is highly likely that the daughter is not functional enough to do the requesting herself. Or has been so isolated by her disease that she doesn't have many friends. You have NO idea what it is like to be living with mental illness. We are fortunate that we have good insurance. Without it, we would have depleted all our finances to keep our child alive and to keep them from harming others. Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk 6 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StaceyinLA Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Honestly, Go Fund Me is a thorn in my side. I'm sorry for the people that really need it, but I have a bad attitude about it. I think it is overused, and I often wonder exactly how people managed to pay for things before Go Fund Me existed. I see no less than 5 of these a day in my news feed on FB; some seem legit, but some are downright ridiculous. As for this particular situation, I think I would've had a difficult time not saying something. I find the older I get, the less control I have of my mouth. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I'm not a fan of GFM for extras. But it can be a convenient vehicle to get funds fast to someone in dire need. A few years ago, my friend died of cancer. This was a couple of years after her husband died of cancer with no insurance, leaving her on the verge of bakruptcy. While she was on her deathbed, some of us were trying to forestall the foreclosure on her home so that she could die in peace. Her son, who, while working two jobs, did not have the funds to pay for her cremation, let alone a funeral. And he was about to be homeless. One of her friends set up a GFM page for her son to help defray cremation costs and the cost of moving what few belongings he had left across the country so that he could stay on his grandma's couch while he looked for work. He didn't make enough to afford living in a high COL area and he lost one of his jobs to help care for his mother. Most of us close by just gave cash outright to avoid the fees from GFM. The GFM helped reach out to people who weren't nearby anymore. Many people were very sad to hear of M's passing and we're glad to help. But it certainly wasn't an expectation. We just wanted to help this person who had a lot of bad breaks. Sent from my SM-G900T using Tapatalk 10 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I did put one GFM on my facebook page. This was a local 6yo dancer who suddenly lost her leg due to a strep-related infection. I don't personally know the family, but I know people who do, so I know it was legit. It was also on national news. It is clear there will be many expenses for this girl, and I figured people who donate to causes would like to know about it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I feel like all these selfish or unnecessary GFMs negatively color people's perception of crowd funding and take away attention from actual legitimate needs. So yes, I believe it does actually "hurt to ask." Hurts people with real, dire needs. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I have a love/hate relationship with go fund me. I feel like, in some cases, this is what insurance is supplemented or replaced with. Then I think how sad that people can't afford life saving medication/procedures. Then I think how helpful it would have been if someone set up a gofundme for dh when we were using up all of our savings seeing specialists and paying out of pocket for uncovered treatments. Then I think of the people who use it to scam people out of money, thus ruining it for everyone else. A vicious cycle in my mind. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Soror Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 My Wowza moment came at school. One young lad couldn't go on a field trip to Washington DC. Why not I wondered and asked the teachers. He didn't pay his $5 fee. That's it??? Why didn't anyone chip in for him????? 'Cause his mom was in the Bahamas on a vacation... It wasn't an oversight/forgetfulness either. She had fussed with the teachers about how she couldn't afford the $5 and was there a way he could earn the money or a fund that would pay for him? This mom essentially never paid anything for her kid at school (it wasn't just this trip), but had no problem spending on a vacation for herself to the Bahamas. The takeaway? Some kids have rotten parents. I feel sorry for their kids. Ha! Crazy! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 My Wowza moment came at school. One young lad couldn't go on a field trip to Washington DC. Why not I wondered and asked the teachers. He didn't pay his $5 fee. That's it??? Why didn't anyone chip in for him????? 'Cause his mom was in the Bahamas on a vacation... It wasn't an oversight/forgetfulness either. She had fussed with the teachers about how she couldn't afford the $5 and was there a way he could earn the money or a fund that would pay for him? This mom essentially never paid anything for her kid at school (it wasn't just this trip), but had no problem spending on a vacation for herself to the Bahamas. The takeaway? Some kids have rotten parents. I feel sorry for their kids. I think you talked about this before. That really stinks. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GailV Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 This discussion touches on so many experiences we've had/are having. Younger dd has decided to do a senior project, and wants it to involve dance and film. I suppose, if I squint, I can see how that might look cool as an adjunct to a college application. But, really, the academic awards and audition tapes are what she'll be counting on. Plus she's figuring out how to do the film for free-to-low-cost, building relationships with people with equipment, asking friends if she can borrow costumes. A friend of hers went to a really amazing musical theatre camp for several weeks last summer -- I think it was about $4000-$5000. It was quite a stretch for her family to afford this. They ended up setting up a Go Fund Me page about it -- I always had the impression that her family was somewhat appalled with themselves for doing this, but were talked into it by the people running the camp as a normal thing to do. I don't recall how I ended up thinking this is what happened, by the way, but it was so out of character for this family, and it sounded like the sort of thing the head of the camp would suggest. The girl also worked to fundraise in other ways, such as babysitting and selling crafts. They didn't get the entire amount, but the few hundred dollars they got were undoubtably helpful. OTOH, my kids have sent out donor letters for mission trips over the years. We have mixed feelings about those. Any excess raised goes towards building materials, and I feel like our church does a reasonable job of discussing poverty tourism (or maybe that's just me yammering on about it incessantly so they talk about it a lot in defense). And the kids are expected to actually work to pay for a good deal of the trips. You know, it would be great if the daughter in the OP would use this opportunity to learn about funding for performing arts, how to go about getting grants and donations, how to write and present a vision or mission statement, how to build ongoing relationships in the community. Hopefully the student is doing those things, and has a mentor (other than her mom, who sounds like the Queen of Crass) helping her learn those ropes. Because those are important things to know if you're looking for a career in performing arts. Of course, other skills are how to make costumes and sets out of nothing, and how to partner with other people who want experience choreographing and filming who are willing to work for really cheap in order to get a credit for their resumes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 (edited) I will give you all the link and if you would like to contribute, you can." Um.......WHAT??????? "How nice. I hope the trip to Europe and all that time at the beach won't impact her ability to get this done by the deadline." Edited May 25, 2017 by Danestress 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
creekland Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I think you talked about this before. That really stinks. I have. Some things just stick out and the brain neurons get dusted off with similar situations. One can never understate just how much the birth lottery factors into someone's life. Some kids really lose out. There are, of course, many worse stories beyond those few who don't pay for field trips or other "extras" at school while indulging themselves. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 I have. Some things just stick out and the brain neurons get dusted off with similar situations. One can never understate just how much the birth lottery factors into someone's life. Some kids really lose out. There are, of course, many worse stories beyond those few who don't pay for field trips or other "extras" at school while indulging themselves. Yup! Just talking today about how this is going to be the case for a student who is pregnant. Her child isn't winning at anything. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebel Yell Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Maybe she sucks and the cost includes special effects. I'll bet you didn't think of THAT, did you Judgy McJudginson? LOL! I was kinda hinting at that when I said all the fancy stuff won't magically improve technique. Nearly all of the college admission video requirements I've seen specifically say no costumes and no editing. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink and Green Mom Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 We lived in our old neighborhood for 8 years. We moved 1000 miles away almost 5 years ago. One friend from my old 'hood, who I keep in very random contact with (Christmas cards, the occasional facebook "like", etc), has each of her 6 kids send us fundraising letters every single year for baseball, scouts or some other thing. This just aggravates me to no end. My kids have similar activities and fund raising and it would never in a million years occur to me to send letters to someone I haven't had regular contact with in over 5 years. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 25, 2017 Author Share Posted May 25, 2017 Maybe she sucks and the cost includes special effects. I'll bet you didn't think of THAT, did you Judgy McJudginson? Sigh, I know. I am SO judgmental! 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Modest Needs is a nice compromise in that they actually do vet the applicants. Plus it's a nonprofit, so donations may be tax deductible, which GFM's can't be. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scarlett Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 Modest Needs is a nice compromise in that they actually do vet the applicants. Plus it's a nonprofit, so donations may be tax deductible, which GFM's can't be. The one my friend's are using is YouCaring. I was soooo glad it wasn't GFM. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 I did put one GFM on my facebook page. This was a local 6yo dancer who suddenly lost her leg due to a strep-related infection. I don't personally know the family, but I know people who do, so I know it was legit. It was also on national news. It is clear there will be many expenses for this girl, and I figured people who donate to causes would like to know about it. Yes. I like it for medical. We have a friend whose little three year old cousin got in an accident on the family property with a snow machine and ripped up her face. Tons of reconstructive surgery needed, and their insurance deemed it elective. GFM made it convenient for all of us to pull together and help fund the surgeries so she wouldn't be missing her entire cheek and jaw for the rest of her life. I don't think the daughter was tacky in this case, I think the parent's priorities were messed up and she couldn't 'hear' herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 (edited) My Wowza moment came at school. One young lad couldn't go on a field trip to Washington DC. Why not I wondered and asked the teachers. He didn't pay his $5 fee. That's it??? Why didn't anyone chip in for him????? 'Cause his mom was in the Bahamas on a vacation... It wasn't an oversight/forgetfulness either. She had fussed with the teachers about how she couldn't afford the $5 and was there a way he could earn the money or a fund that would pay for him? This mom essentially never paid anything for her kid at school (it wasn't just this trip), but had no problem spending on a vacation for herself to the Bahamas. The takeaway? Some kids have rotten parents. I feel sorry for their kids. Ack. Just unbelievable. How can a parent do this and not be embarrassed? $5 and he couldn't go? If I worked in a place where that would come to my attention I probably would have paid it for the kid's sake. Of course this would have been exactly what the parent intended. She sounds like a piece of work. And I sound like a sucker but in the end it's the kid who suffers, not she. Uggghh. Edited May 25, 2017 by Liz CA 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandragood1 Posted May 25, 2017 Share Posted May 25, 2017 It is very likely that the GFM page is so the girl can say that she raised all the funds for her project herself. This would make the project have a bigger impact on her admissions than if her family funded it directly. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted May 26, 2017 Author Share Posted May 26, 2017 It is very likely that the GFM page is so the girl can say that she raised all the funds for her project herself. This would make the project have a bigger impact on her admissions than if her family funded it directly. Let's see: "Oh dear professors, my mommy didn't write a check, I spent 5 minutes starting a webpage and then my mommy begged all our neighbors, friends, and family to give us money. See.....I RAISED it! You should be so proud and let me in to your school!" 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bambam Posted May 26, 2017 Share Posted May 26, 2017 (edited) Most of the GoFundMes that I've seen have been something there is *NO* way I would contribute money to. My *favorite* - oh, our hybrid car needs a new battery and it is $3,000 and we don't have it, so give us money so we can go on vacation like we want to this summer. Um, no, what adults do is give up their vacation and work an extra job or hours to earn the $$ and purchase their own battery. I'm sure they will top that soon! A couple were legitimate needs. I'd guess the %age would be maybe 10%? Edited May 26, 2017 by Bambam Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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