Struggling with read aloud time

[Squiddles]

Please give me some tips or advice for my issues right now during our morning read aloud time!!  I have three boys ages 6 8 and 10, in the morning we do morning basket, which goes very well until we get to our read aloud, we are currently going through the Chronicles of Narnia.  They claim to love this part of the day, and love the story we are reading, but two of my boys (the younger ones) cannot sit still!!  They fidget, and talk to each other and walk around the room fiddling with random toys they find under the couch etc... I know that some kids listen better with busy hands... but I cannot read with the movement and distraction.  I am a quiet listener, I sit still and keep my eyes on the speaker/reader and could sit like that for extended periods of time, so it's hard for my brain to grasp HOW they can possibly be listening and taking in the story while seemingly goofing off.  I almost always end our reading time abruptly/prematurely and tell them to go play for a minute so I can blow off steam before moving to the next thing.

 

If they only sat and drew, or built with legos I think I could handle it... but it's the getting up and chatting to each other that really pushes me over the edge... because of this it is taking AGES to get through our read alouds, which is not fair to them, or the one kid that actually listens.

 

When they do this, I stop, and ask them to reiterate what I just read, and ask if they actually WANT to listen to the story, and they can generally tell me where we are at in the story, and that they do in fact enjoy it and want to continue... gah!!!

Edited May 11, 2017 by Squiddles

[Guest]

I think some of it is just boys. Can you do the read aloud first during your Morning Time? Before they're getting stir crazy for sitting? 

 

My other suggestion is to buy the Audible version and have it in the car, assuming you drive daily; or listen to it on a bluetooth speaker during lunch or something where they're busy eating and they might listen better as they're otherwise occupied. 

 

I will say my five year old never shuts up while I read and still manages to grasp an insane amount. It's annoying but I remind myself it's for him, not me, and if he's getting it and so is his sister, it's working. One day they'll grow out of it and be more quiet! :) 

[rocassie]

I generally do audiobooks for this exact reason.  That and I don't like reading outloud.  If it's an audiobook, I can be quietly doing something like knitting too.  We do have a rule of audiobook time is quiet activity time.  Also, what helps is the kids get about 20-30min outside playing while I clean up from lunch.  The physical activity seems to help them not struggle as much during our listening time.

[lllll]

nm

Edited May 18, 2017 by _ -_-

[desertflower]

Can you print out coloring pages to Chronicles of Narnia?

 

How about read to them 30 mins before they go to sleep? 

 

How about reading to them while eating a meal? 

 

With something like the Chronicles of Narnia, I would read to my two oldest after my youngest goes to sleep.  Or I read to them separately during their lesson time.  I feel the same way that it isn't fair to my oldest.  So, I often read to them as part of their lessons.  For example, I'm reading the Story Book of Science as part of my oldest lessons and The Return of the Lost Isle as part of my middle child's lessons.  However, for bedtime I'm reading The Adventures of Chatterer the Red Squirrel to all 3, but then once my youngest goes to sleep I read The land of Stories to the other two.  Then I read something they can all enjoy during meal times.

 

Audio book in the car like the pp suggested is good too. 

 

I hope you find something that works for your family.

[frogger]

I have one boy that is always active. I tend to read aloud more during breakfast and lunch and eat before or after. Their mouth is full that way. :)

 

 

I don't allow them to talk. I simply tell them it's rude because the other children can't hear. They are allowed to move around, draw, build or toss stuff in the air and catch it. It would take ALL my son's concentration to sit still like you say you like to do and he wouldn't hear the stories. Perhaps if you take one morning to go over ground rules it would benefit you all. When they are walking across the room you can remind yourself that they are allowed to per the rules and calm yourself. They would understand it's a compromise, if you discussed it, and that you will accept the movement but not the talking. If they started to talk I would just clear my throat and point to the rules. I don't know that that will work for your family but in my family they would then quiet down.

[OneStepAtATime]

:grouphug: 

 

I sympathize.  I'm similar to you in how I listen.  I used to get so frustrated when my kids moved around a lot while I read to them.

 

However, I have two kids here (boy and girl) who need to move to think and comprehend.  Yes they think better and comprehend better if they are moving.  They are interested in the story but if they are not moving while trying to listen then they have to put all their energy into not moving and there is very little left for focusing on what they are hearing.   Once I embraced that our whole learning dynamic changed for the better.  

 

This is just a difference in how certain brains process.  You have one way.  Your kids have another.  They can't help how their brains work any more than you can help how yours works.  The goal here is for them to listen to a story.  Try out different locations, different times of the day (sometimes kids do better with read alouds if they have already had some sort of significant physical activity) and different things they could be doing with their bodies that won't drive you nuts.  If you cannot find things for their bodies to do so their mind is freed up to listen then maybe have them listen to an audio book, let them roam the room while they do it, and go drink a cup of tea or something to calm your nerves.  Forcing them to listen the way you listen may net nothing but frustration for all of you.

 

Good luck and best wishes.

[fralala]

Well, first off, I have to admit that I am a Morning Basket drop-out. Because, in my house, if my kids are attentive and willing to hang around and do something Mom-led-- even if it's something fun and good and beautiful-- for even just 20 minutes, they are not going to be as attentive afterward. They just start wanting to drift away and play. Without me. For some families, I think Morning Basket works really well to stock up the kids' stores of goodwill and attention and love for being with Mom and listening to her, but in our family...it was more like, "Wait, NOW we have to do lessons? What was that?"). Could that just be the case here, where they are beginning to drift away from you because they want to take charge of their own time again?

 

In any case, just to add to all the great suggestions you've received already, I will say that our longest read-aloud of the day occurs right before quiet time, with each kid already in his own room with a big stack of drawing paper, markers, and the freedom to jump around, look out the window, somersault, and so forth. It helps that our house is pretty small, so I don't have to project too much, but separating them so they can't wrestle or make small asides about random things non-book-related is quite valuable. (And I actually pace back and forth or at least am standing while I read.)

[Stibalfamily]

We don't do our read aloud time in the morning, sometimes we do it at lunch but mostly we do it at quiet time after lunch. The kids climb into my bed, get under the covers and I read to them. My 3 year old will fall asleep, but my 6 year old knows its time to rest and just listen. They have had a chance to go outside and run some energy off by then. 

[Hilltopmom]

We did audiobooks instead, but have you tried anything like letting them use a swing while you're reading, or sitting on a yoga ball, or even just a fidget seat cushion?

[MerryAtHope]

I'd try reading after a run-around time so that they are more tired. Like some others have mentioned, I read literature before bed.

 

It's okay to make boundaries--ie, "You can sit and play with a toy quietly. You may not talk to each other while I read."

 

I simply stopped reading until they stopped doing the action that wasn't within the boundaries. Then I continued. They got the message and found appropriate ways to work with their wiggles :-). 

 

One thing to keep in mind is that for young bodies, it actually takes AWAY from their ability to focus on what you are reading to have to sit still--they have to use all of their focusing/concentrating powers to keep their bodies from moving, and there's not much left for focusing on a story then. So...do allow some movement, but don't be afraid to set boundaries. 

[HS Mom in NC]

Of my 3, 2 needed to move a lot during the read alouds for quite a few years.  Not to be mean, but to keep it real, we had to just get over it.  Middle daughter did gymnastics on a tumbling mat in the living room and youngest bounced on an exercise ball the whole time.   The reading aloud was too important to us (my husband and I both read aloud most days until they go to college) to let our personal discomfort about them moving around become an issue.  Was it frustrating?  Yes. Was being really bothered by it the most important thing?  No. Working on ourselves and our attitudes and expectations was the best use of our efforts so we could continue to read loud at all their stages of childhood.

Our kids, even when they weren't in their turbo powered phases of childhood, have always played with construction toys, wheeled toys, dolls, craft items, kitchenettes, etc. during our read alouds. Sometimes I read aloud during breakfast or lunch because it kept them occupied, but there's no way a meal could take up all of our read aloud time. They followed along just fine and had plenty to contribute to conversations about what were reading.

That doesn't mean they can't be reigned in some: no leaving the room, no running, no talking, no singing, no banging, no physically picking at siblings, etc. 

You can always read to them after you've send them outside to do a lot of large motor play.  My youngest was so hyper I had a whole list of physical exercises in a jar she had to do before we came in and sat down for a phonics less.  She was really physically tired which is what her body needed because when she fidgeted during phonics, she couldn't read. When her body was still, she could.  So we had to get her physically tired first.  

Exercises were written on sheets of colored paper.  She had to do all of them before we went inside: 
 

Do 25 jumping jacks.

Run all the way around the yard 10 times.

Do 10 push ups.

Run up the play structure and down the slide 15 times.

Hop on one foot from one side of the yard to the other then switch feet and hop back. 
etc.
 

Maybe something like that before read aloud time will help your boys keep the physical energy level down to a minimum.

[daijobu]

Like the others I vote for reading during mealtimes or immediately following some good vigorous outdoor exercise.  Maybe during post-exercise snack or meal?  

[nixpix5]

We vary the time of day we do read alouds. What you describe was once my every day. One of my boys literally would somersault through the living room. It was bonkers and drove my 7 year old DD insane. I started insisting he sit for a set amount of time and listen. I would set a timer. For the first week it was 10 minutes of still listening. I let him bring out his blankets and pillows to lay on if he wanted to he comfortable. We increased the time in 2 minute increments each week. One day he just didn't get up when the timer went off. If he is having a wiggly day I will read during snack. Munching and listening is his favorite. My other 6 year likes to ask alot of questions so I give them burning question passes (3) each reading and then I ask they hold their other questions in their head until the section ends or a natural stopping point comes up. It has increased their memory as well.

[SKL]

I agree that an audiobook may help solve your problem.  Audiobooks don't get annoyed at kids hopping around.  :)

 

I am fine with kids doing almost anything during read-alouds - even math - but talking bugs me.  I do tell my kids that's rude if they keep interrupting me to blab.

 

I have done read-alouds at different times to be most efficient.  When my kids were around your kids' age, I would often do the read-aloud at the table while they were eating.  (I would eat quick and then start.)  Nowadays I read while they are getting ready for bed - brushing teeth, changing, setting out tomorrow's clothes, etc.

 

To check in and see if they are listening, pick a stopping point and then ask them to tell you what just happened.  If they can't tell you, put the book down and try again later.

[fralala]

 

To check in and see if they are listening, pick a stopping point and then ask them to tell you what just happened.  If they can't tell you, put the book down and try again later.

 

Or I just go off-script and start making up stuff instead of reading the actual book. No matter how distracted I think they are, I have never once been able to get away with that. Or I start whispering and see if they get quiet. Or I suddenly stop, sit down, and start reading the book to myself as if I just have got to know what happens next.

[RenaInTexas]

You've gotten great input. Some other things that I have done:

 

-have them draw what I am reading to them...whatever they visualize...it's funny to us bc clearly, they can't draw fast enough to keep up, but they enjoy trying...it's like a game. My kid who HATES drawing can write down words he thinks of, questions he has (wants to know more about), or connections he's making.

 

-they have to act out what I am reading as I am reading it -- HILARIOUS

 

-fidget toys

 

-reading with a snack

 

-before school starts, my boys have a sword fight or something to get that bundled up energy out. I used to have one walk on the treadmill for 10 min, so he was ready to learn once school started.

[Jane Elliot]

I'm much like you. I cannot read aloud with undue distractions. I've raised five active boys to adulthood and have two more still at home, ages 9 and 14.

I took the view that learning to listen quietly and attentively is a necessary life skill and that read aloud time is a good opportunity to develop it. There are all sorts of real life situations where a child is expected to sit quietly (church, meetings, weddings, tours/field trips, special dinners, etc.) It's a pity when children aren't used to being quiet and still in those situations. They disrupt things for others and lose out on the learning opportunity themselves.

That said, my kids are allowed to color or draw while I read, as long as they do it quietly. And as others have said, I do make sure they've had plenty of run around time before we read.

[KrissiK]

I do read aloud time during lunch. Gives the kids something to do and makes for a more pleasant lunch for us all.

[Guest]

You've gotten great input. Some other things that I have done:

 

-have them draw what I am reading to them...whatever they visualize...it's funny to us bc clearly, they can't draw fast enough to keep up, but they enjoy trying...it's like a game. My kid who HATES drawing can write down words he thinks of, questions he has (wants to know more about), or connections he's making.

 

-they have to act out what I am reading as I am reading it -- HILARIOUS

 

-fidget toys

 

-reading with a snack

 

-before school starts, my boys have a sword fight or something to get that bundled up energy out. I used to have one walk on the treadmill for 10 min, so he was ready to learn once school started.

Love these!!

[Carol in Cal.]

What I would do:

 

--Absolute 'no talking' rule.  

--Get those big exercise balls for the boys to sit on so they can move around some.

--Pull out the Kapla blocks and let them build with them while you're reading.

--Read multiple times per day.  Morning, right after lunch, and before bed.

[My4arrows]

Mine would do the same thing, so we moved our read aloud time to lunch. They eat while I read (I eat later) and this keeps them focused and less movement then usual. Sometimes I'll have coloring pages or things, but eating is the best time for them. Food in their mouths keeps them happy and quiet. I keep the rest of our morning basket things in the mornig. Read alouds just never worked well for us then.

[Jacbeaumont]

6, 3 and 18 month old here.

 

I read aloud during breakfast and lunch.

 

One of mine does not stop talking. Ever. Even with a full mouth. So I take what I can get. :)

 

I attempt two other short read alouds sessions if they end up at the table drawing/colouring, playing with playdough, or are just generally calm and quiet.

 

Sent from my U9200 using Tapatalk

[coastalfam]

Maybe it would be less frustrating if you do an audio book? That helps me to use that as an option sometimes. I have 11, 9, and 6 year old boys. The 6 yo pops his thumb in his mouth, and listens very quietly. The 11 and 9 year old would be summersaulting, jumping, spinning, you name it, if I let them. Super distracting. Coloring pages help, whether they are related to the book or not. I have a basket of "fidget toys" for them to use, and that is a hit as long as I rotate the items so they don't get bored (it has a Rubix cube, Jacob's latter, Koosh ball, spinner... that kind of stuff). A bin of legos keeps them quietly occupied. Another thing that helps is varying the time of day I read. Sometimes I save a read-aloud for while they are eating lunch, or for a bedtime story when they are cuddled up in their beds. All those things have helped our read aloud time feel a little more sane for me. :)

Edited May 13, 2017 by coastalfam

[frogger]

Or I just go off-script and start making up stuff instead of reading the actual book. No matter how distracted I think they are, I have never once been able to get away with that. Or I start whispering and see if they get quiet. Or I suddenly stop, sit down, and start reading the book to myself as if I just have got to know what happens next.

 

Ha ha I sometimes do this. Sometimes they end up in the story or I start narrating what they are doing or I just come up a silly ridiculous story line until I hear, "moooommm".