Big frustration over job hunting during the holiday season

[Janeway]

My husband has only been laid off for 3 weeks. We had expected things to be dry until after the New Year. Fine. But one company did jump on his job application. And it is not in a target area where we were thinking about moving to. It is in a high cost of living area. No one else has even looked at his resume as far as I can tell, except one place that contacted him wanting to interview after Thanksgiving. This job in the HCOL area seems very interested in him and wants to fly him in. They have already done a couple or so interviews over the phone. This is supposed to be a great company to work for. Husband is very excited.

 

Problem is, when I look up housing, it seems that we will need to live about an hour from his work. And even then, we will need to pay about 1.5 times for a house to get anything that I think we could be okay about, but still not as nice as what we have now. Not that what we have now is amazing, but it is our home to us and I like it. I think our house is nice, and our neighborhood. 

 

My husband then told me he would make more there. So I looked up the average pay for this company and his job. It was about 25% more and mentioned that there are usually bonuses that bring it higher as well as great benefits. So I started to think this could work. I figured we would be taking out a new mortgage so we could buy a more expensive house. I am still not thrilled with what I see in my research of the area, but it is ok. 15 yr old is unhappy as he is just a few months away from testing for his black belt that he has worked on for years, and he already finished drivers ed and will have to start all over there. But I guess we can adjust on that. There will be an adjustment period.

 

But then, I say to my husband..."what would you do if they come back with an offer that is <his salary plus about 5%>" and he says "great! I would jump at it!" OK..so I was thinking he would say then he obviously cannot make this work. Instead, he says he would jump for a salary that is barely above what he was making now to live in a place that has a cost of living index about 38% above where we live now. I tried to explain all this to him and he just says it is fine, the cost of living is not that high up there. I asked him if he did any research. He just says it cannot be that bad. Add to it that he will return to having a long commute to work. He did that early in our marriage and it was such a waste of time. 

 

The big kicker....this is the only company interested in him right now. If he turns them down and no one else comes along, we will be screwed. And my husband does not think anyone will get serious about hiring until after Christmas. This particular company has already ask what his availability date is to start. AND, I do not feel like my husband is reasonable or good when it comes to negotiation. I feel very frustrated and worried and anxious now. Anyone have an advice? Any help at all? 

[scrapbookbuzz]

PRAY! And I will also pray for you and with you!

My husband was recently laid off as well, and it was about four weeks until he was given a decent offer.

And I still don't think it was that decent. But husbands feel they MUST provide for their family and they start to panic

when nothing seems forthcoming. Ask your husband if he'd be willing to put off making a decision for ONE week.

Then take that time to research for himself the actual COLA: salary versus where you are now. 

 

If he still decides to take the job, is there a way he can go ahead of you all while you wrap things up where you are?

Including let your son stay where you are so he can get his black belt? Achieving black belt is no easy task and moving 

to a new dojo WILL require starting over. I don't get that - I'd like to see them cooperate with each other with their students.

On that note, maybe your son can research dojos in the new town? Just to see what he can do to transfer instead of them thinking 

he's brand new. 

 

Hope that helps!

[regentrude]

Can you husband take the job and go ahead and test the waters?

There is no need for your family to move there immediately. This way, he can figure out whether his income is feasible for your family, your DS can finish his drivers license and his black belt, and you will only move permanently when it turns out your DH actually likes the job and it pays enough for housing. As  a single adult, he should be able to find inexpensive temporary housing.

 

 

Edited November 23, 2016 by regentrude

[Janeway]

Can you husband take the job and go ahead and test the waters?

There is no need for your family to move there immediately. This way, he can figure out whether his income is feasible for your family, your DS can finish his drivers license and his black belt, and you will only move permanently when it turns out your DH actually likes the job and it pays enough for housing. As  a single adult, he should be able to find inexpensive temporary housing.

 

There is a relocation package and a sign-on bonus where he has to agree to stay a certain period of time and I am assuming the relocation package has to be used within a certain period of time.

 

But I will admit, I have considered having him go ahead and use the relocation package to sell our house. And then have me and the kids move in to a smaller rental that would cost less and all of us not move until summer or so. At least he could get his black belt. I wonder if we stuck it out to get his license if it would even transfer to up the new location and would they make him redo everything because he is under 18 yrs old. 

[cera2]

My first thought is that you and the kids could stay where you are short term to allow your son to finish his black belt and to allow your husband to get settled in the new job and research areas to live (commute times, housing prices, etc).

 

Can you sit down and show him your budget now and a sample of what it would need to be if you moved to the new location so he could start to understand how much more he would need to earn to make it work?

[Arcadia]

At least there is no state income tax if your family move to where you ask about. There is also the running start program there. Any increase in pay and bonus will only bump the federal tax bracket for you though and may be an extra headache at tax time due to AMT. Regarding pay and bonus, my husband's pay without bonus would be poor enough for colleges like Stanford and Harvard assuming that my kids apply and get in. His pay with bonus puts us over the cutoff. Also home equity would affect the CSS profile for college applications even though I don't know how bad the effect will be.

 

It is hard to tell when company does hiring. For my hubby's current job, he was given an offer in late October to start just before Thanksgiving. Then his dept had a hiring freeze for a few months.

 

Our housing benefits and airfare for family benefits from relocation had to be used in 6 months and the bond was 2 years for the companies that offered my husband relocation packages.

[Janeway]

At least there is no state income tax if your family move to where you ask about. There is also the running start program there. Any increase in pay and bonus will only bump the federal tax bracket for you though and may be an extra headache at tax time due to AMT. Regarding pay and bonus, my husband's pay without bonus would be poor enough for colleges like Stanford and Harvard assuming that my kids apply and get in. His pay with bonus puts us over the cutoff. Also home equity would affect the CSS profile for college applications even though I don't know how bad the effect will be.

 

It is hard to tell when company does hiring. For my hubby's current job, he was given an offer in late October to start just before Thanksgiving. Then his dept had a hiring freeze for a few months.

 

Our housing benefits and airfare for family benefits from relocation had to be used in 6 months and the bond was 2 years for the companies that offered my husband relocation packages.

 What is the running start program?

[gardenmom5]

Can you husband take the job and go ahead and test the waters?

There is no need for your family to move there immediately. This way, he can figure out whether his income is feasible for your family, your DS can finish his drivers license and his black belt, and you will only move permanently when it turns out your DH actually likes the job and it pays enough for housing. As  a single adult, he should be able to find inexpensive temporary housing.

 

dsil found a room on airbnb?   anyway, he rented a room from an older couple during the transition phase before dd moved down and their apartment was ready for them to move in to it.  (dd was at the rented room for about two weeks.)

 

 What is the running start program?

 

 

in WA - running start is high school students can take classes at the community college, paid by the state, and receive college credit that goes towards an associate degree. (full time is three  classes per quarter)  no remedial  classes.

 

eta: running start is for jr and senior year.  after they get  their aa/s they can transfer to a four year to get a bachelor.

Edited November 23, 2016 by gardenmom5

[foxbridgeacademy]

DH's income went up by 50% at this new job and our housing costs went have more than doubled... we were able to buy a new car (we only had 1), and have started paying off some old bills.  We're strapped and counting on a good sized bonus to make things a bit better but we're financially about the same.  The new house though is amazingly better than the old one and well worth the $$.

 

Instead of looking at dollar #'s, think in percentages. Housing should cost less than 1/4-1/3 of your income***, so if houses in the new COL is $2000/month including PITI then he needs to bring home 3-4 times that. You can do a paycheck estimate to see what net pay would be in different states with different witholdings.

 

*** This is my after taxes, insurance, and other deductible, amount. YMMV

[Arcadia]

What is the running start program?

Below link. Its for 11/12th graders. Your oldest would be eligible soon.

http://www.k12.wa.us/SecondaryEducation/CareerCollegeReadiness/RunningStart.aspx

 

ETA:

The 2nd relocation package my husband had included flying him and me for house buying/renting trip. The 1st relocation package we had was two months lodging and rental car provided instead of flying us over to house hunt.

Edited November 23, 2016 by Arcadia

[tm919]

I guess one thing that comes to mind is whether the new job is located where there are a lot of other jobs that are potentials for your husband. I know several people who relocated, spent their entire savings getting a worse house in a high CoL area, then got laid off (since they were so vulnerable as new hires) and were in a terrible situation! 

 

It's hard for me to comment on the commute. On days I commute, it's 1.5-2 hours each way, if nothing goes wrong. I think it's common in urban areas and most people find a way to work remotely at least half the time. 

Edited November 23, 2016 by tm919

[Lanny]

There are web sites that can show you, if you earn X dollars in this COL area, you will need to earn X dollars in another COL area, to maintain the approximate standard of living, pay the taxes, etc.  I don't have a URL for you, but probably you can Google for that.   

 

The other part of your post is difficult.   I was Single when I worked as a Contractor, so I could take time off, if I didn't have the "right" contract, in the  right location. I had to pay my own expenses, as you will if you move there, and I adjusted my Hourly Rate, accordingly, within my understanding of the COL and taxes in another location.  Also, there were places I simply tried to avoid, the largest cities, the places with the coldest weather (my late Mother once asked me why I ended up in the North during Winter, but I needed to work and/or liked the project).  They always seemed to call me about assignments in MN during the Winter. Why not during the Spring or Summer? (I never went to MN)

 

It would be good experience, for your DH to go and  interview with the company that he is communicating with. Even if it does not pan out,   IMO, every time one does an interview, it makes them  a little better prepared for the next interview. 

 

Very tough to turn things down and I did that, many times, but I was Single then.  Sometimes, it is for the best.  I turned down a  project in Charlottesvilla VA , a place I thought I would enjoy living in, temporarily, but they couldn't raise their hourly rate and I wouldn't work for what their rate was.  A few years later, I worked with a couple who'd worked on that project. It was a disaster and was written up in Business Week or some other magazine, as an example of how NOT to do a project.  So, I was glad I'd not gone there....

 

Chemistry is everything when interviewing.  I did a phone interview with a company in Rochester NY for a project and did not have that with the person who interviewed me.  I turned them down, twice. No regrets.

 

When the Chemistry is right, one has new colleagues that one likes, and often they become friends and can be used for References after leaving that position.  

 

You are correct that probably a lot of stuff will open up after the first of the year. Government projects usually get funded during the 4th quarter, but with new tax rates, etc., hopefully there will be much more hiring in the very near future.

 

Before he signs any  contracts, he needs to go over the TAX ramifications of any benefits they offer. Relocation, etc., etc.

 

Good luck to your DH with his job hunting and to your family. Happy Thanksgiving!

Edited November 23, 2016 by Lanny

[hellen]

Kid's activities are more expensive in a higher COL area.

 

Now you know the bad stuff. What are the good things about the area? Good state universities? Good homeschool opportunities? Great libraries, parks, museums, etc.?

 

It's time to stop focusing solely on the negative.

[waa510]

If the HCOL area is Northern VA/DC area and it's the company I'm thinking of based on what you've said, I'd jump on it. Feel free to pm me if it's NoVA and I can give you some insight on cheap(er) areas to look at, housing wise. :)

 

[prairiewindmomma]

Hiring in the IT world is not seasonal. The interviewing process in our experience takes 4-12 weeks depending on how many interviews they schedule. Some companies have standard offer packages, others do not.

 

I think you are worried about the wrong things. I would be asking questions about churn, advancement opportunities, review process, etc. It sounds like your dh might be stepping in to work for one of the big 3 in the area you are looking at and they all have unique corporate practices.

 

In our experience, big city = more job opportunities.

[Plateau Mama]

Tif you are talking about WA your son might not need to take drivers Ed. You just needs to prove he has taken a comparable course. This is from the WA dol website:

 

"Successfully complete an approved driver training course.

Online and parent taught traffic safety education are not approved courses in Washington State. If your teen completes a course in another state it must meet Washington State minimum requirements."

[Scarlett]

I feel your pain about the holidays getting in the way of hiring.

 

Dh is now out of state doing side work for his brother just so we can make ends meet. He is getting calls from headhunters for some really good jobs but no interviews. It is frustrating.

[KungFuPanda]

Do not let your husband dismiss the COL math. It can completely change your lifestyle. He might understand better if you convert your current budget and tell him that the move would be like living the way you are right now, but paying x more dollars per month on your mortgage and y more dollars for utilities. Don't forget that grocery costs are not uniform either. Long commutes are expensive in terms of time, vehicle wear and tear, and fuel. Gas prices won't stay this low forever. You want to consider the colleges in the target state too. If you are counting on one day paying in-state tuition, this could be a different number than what you had in mind for your home state.

 

There are distict advantages though if you can afford them. Your home can be a more lucrative investment down the line. Public schools could be better should you choose to use them. Often you'll have tons of choice entertainment activities nearby that won't necessarily cost you . . . things like free symphonies in the park, or excellent libraries, or nice public green areas for outdoor recreation. A smaller home with smaller rooms might not be a painful trade-off for these amenities. I've learned as my kids hit their teens that we really didn't need as much house space as I thought we did when they were little and playing with toys.

[Carol in Cal.]

Any port in a storm.

He can keep looking for another job while he starts at that company.

You don't have to move right away.

 

I second the educational opportunities in WA state being great, though.  Lots more free vocational ed there at the high school level, and I have a nephew who graduated with a high school diploma and an associates' degree simultaneously, a smart but not a brilliant kid.  WA has excellent programs.

[Laura Corin]

We moved from London to Hong Kong when Calvin was six months old, leaving behind the house that we loved and moving into a smaller flat.  It wasn't fun, but it was necessary for Husband to have a job.

 

Best wishes with your decisions.