Blended family question

[Scarlett]

Let's say there are 3 children. Husbands children ages are a girl 6 and a boy 7. They come every other weekend. The wife's child is a girl 5.

 

The mom walks in on the 7 year old doing something inappropriate to the 5 year old. From all accounts it was clothes on....just inappropriate actions. And I am not minimizing behavior....just trying to define it accurately.

 

What do you do? Should the 7 year old not be allowed back into the home for visitation?

 

Editing to change......I told this wrong. The mom did not witness this event. It was relayed to her by the 5 year old.

Edited September 25, 2016 by Scarlett

[zoobie]

It depends on what happened. Kissing? Being silly? Or something nefarious? They don't think of themselves as brother-sister at that age, and 2 years isn't a huge age/power differential on paper. I've known some very immature 7 year olds. If it were something like kissing that both were voluntarily participating in, we'd have talks about boundaries and siblings, and I wouldn't leave them unsupervised. More than that would have me calling in a pro. (Though that might too depending on scenario.)

[Annie G]

It would never occur to me to stop having the child over for visitation.  

 

Without knowing what the inappropriate action was, I can't say for sure what I would do but it would probably be things like talking to the kids about boundaries,  having the 7 year old evaluated for issues that need to be addressed,  closely supervising the kids, and making sure the dad is active in the boy's life. And if possible, bringing the boy's mom in on it to see if she has seen any similar issues or has noticed a change in the boy's behavior. 

[Scarlett]

It depends on what happened. Kissing? Being silly? Or something nefarious? They don't think of themselves as brother-sister at that age, and 2 years isn't a huge age/power differential on paper. I've known some very immature 7 year olds. If it were something like kissing that both were voluntarily participating in, we'd have talks about boundaries and siblings, and I wouldn't leave them unsupervised. More than that would have me calling in a pro. (Though that might too depending on scenario.)

I think the claim is the boy touched the girl in her private areas with clothes on. And actually the mom didn't see it happen.....her child told her it happened. Boy denies it happened.

 

So is the solution to ban the boy from future visitation?

[Harriet Vane]

Depends on the specific inappropriate action. Also depends on whether or not there was coercion, force, or bullying. 

 

How much of a power differential is there between the two kids? 

 

It is normal for kids to engage in some experimentation, so I would not immediately assume pathology or a need to ban the child from the home. But sexually aggressive or sexually precocious behavior (in other words, indicating a familiarity with sexual behavior) would be a red flag.

 

 

I would not immediately assume the 7-year-old cannot come to the home, and I would be very wary of demonizing behavior that may not be predatory, bullying, or sexually precocious. 

 

On the other hand, if there is specific coercion or sexually precocious behavior, I would be concerned that the 7-year-old is or has been molested. In that case, I would want the 7-year-old to talk to a therapist versed in child sexual abuse.

 

 

If you can describe the action, either here or in a PM, I would have a better idea.

 

 

 

[Harriet Vane]

I think the claim is the boy touched the girl in her private areas with clothes on. And actually the mom didn't see it happen.....her child told her it happened. Boy denies it happened.

 

So is the solution to ban the boy from future visitation?

 

I would tend to believe the 5-year-old.

 

The solution is not necessarily to ban the boy from visitation. That's pretty extreme. He's just a kid, and this is his family. 

 

My other post outlines what I would look for and what I would do.

[catz]

I'd be worried about what else was going on in the visitation child's life.  I would tomato stake that child for a while to watch.  I might start some family or talk therapy if I were worried enough.  I would talk to all my kids about boundaries. 

 

I also think curiosity at these ages can be totally normal.  7 is very young and banning a child from visitation seems very extreme to me.

Edited September 4, 2016 by WoolySocks

[Scarlett]

It would never occur to me to stop having the child over for visitation.

 

Without knowing what the inappropriate action was, I can't say for sure what I would do but it would probably be things like talking to the kids about boundaries, having the 7 year old evaluated for issues that need to be addressed, closely supervising the kids, and making sure the dad is active in the boy's life. And if possible, bringing the boy's mom in on it to see if she has seen any similar issues or has noticed a change in the boy's behavior.

My Dh and I had an issue with our sons. My son was 10, SS was 9......my son punched him in the face and blacked his eye. I know it isnt the same as allegations of sexual abuse....but it was tough. Dss's mom tried to insist we not have my son around her son at all.

 

What Dh and I did was tell our boys they were not allowed to be alone in the same room with each other. It took some work on our part....we had the rule for at least 6 months....

[Scarlett]

The step mom called it molestation. The details I got from the dad were that the girl says the boy touched her on the outside of her clothes in her private areas. There is a very real,chance the boy had been exposed to molestation in his moms life....

 

I still can't see refusing to get him for visitation..

Edited September 4, 2016 by Scarlett

[Annie G]

My Dh and I had an issue with our sons. My son was 10, SS was 9......my son punched him in the face and blacked his eye. I know it isnt the same as allegations of sexual abuse....but it was tough. Dss's mom tried to insist we not have my son around her son at all.

 

What Dh and I did was tell our boys they were not allowed to be alone in the same room with each other. It took some work on our part....we had the rule for at least 6 months....

 

I know it's more complicated because you had dh's ex to consider, but if these boys were brothers (instead of steps), would you have chosen the same thing- not letting them be alone in a room?  Siblings do stupid stuff...it happens.  Figure out whether it was boys being too rough or whether your son had an anger issue and deal with it. How did your solution fix the problem? 

[lovinmyboys]

I absolutely would not jump straight to not allowing the boy in the home. Unless there is way more back story, that is a big over reaction. It sounds like it is his home too (at least part time), so there would have to be several more steps before I wouldn't allow him at his dad's house.

 

Has this happened before? Does he know he isn't supposed to do that? Is it possible that he didn't actually do anything?

 

We had something sort of similar happen in our family, and one of the adults in the situation blew it so out of proportion-basically acting like the child was so dangerous and a pedophile in waiting. Went straight from an accusation (no one knows for sure if anything even happened) to that child (under the age of 7) should not be allowed in the same house with any other children in the family.

 

Stuff like that is not ok, but it shouldn't be blown up into something much bigger than it is. Likely, he just needs better supervision and education and for the adults in his life to not over react. The 5 year old needs education in what is not ok and what she should do if it happens again. Of course, if it happens again, I would involve a professional.

 

Eta: bottom line, 7yr old gets to keep visitation with dad. The adults find a way to make it safe for everyone.

Edited September 4, 2016 by lovinmyboys

[Scarlett]

I know it's more complicated because you had dh's ex to consider, but if these boys were brothers (instead of steps), would you have chosen the same thing- not letting them be alone in a room? Siblings do stupid stuff...it happens. Figure out whether it was boys being too rough or whether your son had an anger issue and deal with it. How did your solution fix the problem?

Our solution was 100 % supervision. and they out grow the throwing punches stage.

[KaceeM]

There is also the question of intent, did he purposefully touch her privates or did it happen as they were playing or rough housing? 

[bolt.]

The first thing I'm thinking is that it is entirely possible that a 7 yo can 'touch' the private areas of anyone -- outside of clothes -- completely accidentally, with no sexual intent whatsoever. A 5 yo can accurately call that a 'touch' without it being a molestation-style touch.

 

The second thing is that visitation is for kids and their natural parents to maintain a relationship. If step sibs need to be kept apart (and maybe they do) people need to do that without keeping the child and parent apart.

Edited September 4, 2016 by bolt.

[bolt.]

The third thing is that 7yos that molest 5yos are usually victims themselves. Good parents care about that too, very much, not *just* the most recent child/child interaction.

[rocassie]

First, the 5yo needs to be acknowledged that she felt uncomfortable and the touch was inappropriate.  Validate her feelings and address the issue with the 7yo.  Doesn't matter if it was intentional or accidental, the 7yo needs to be more mindful.  Second, (if the touch was intentional in nature vs an accidental), the 7yo has either seen things or is a victim and needs counseling.

 

I would probably allow visitation with two caveats, supervision and counseling of the 7yo.  The home should not be a unsafe place for the 5yo.  The 7yo is very young though too.  If help and addressing the issue isn't enough I would suspend visitation while 7yo undergoes counseling.  In many ways a parent experiencing this, is in between a rock and a hard place.  They are both such young children, and it's never a simple solution.

[J-rap]

Without having more insight into the 7-year-old, I'd like to mention two things.  

 

I don't think it's at all unusual for even psychologically healthy kids to experiment a little out of curiosity, so it could be that.

 

Second, I had an acquaintance with a similar situation.  The son was her own, and her husband (son's step-father) basically never let him back into their home again.  It turns out that this son was being sexually abused by his biological father.  The only people who could have stepped in to help him (save him!) at that time were his mother and step-father, and they did not.  It was a sad, sad situation.

 

I would absolutely believe the 5-year-old and really support and encourage her honesty with me, and continue to allow the 7-year-old into my home while throwing everything into closely supervising, observing, and understanding him.  There is always the chance that he is disturbed, but that's not the first conclusion I'd come to.

[Carrie12345]

The first thing I'm thinking is that it is entirely possible that a 7 yo can 'touch' the private areas of anyone -- outside of clothes -- completely accidentally, with no sexual intent whatsoever. A 5 yo can accurately call that a 'touch' without it being a molestation-style touch.

 

The second thing is that visitation is for kids and their natural parents to maintain a relationship. If step sibs need to be kept apart (and maybe they do) people need to do that without keeping the child and parent apart.

 

This.

"Touch" could mean anything, especially to a 5yo.  Which isn't to downplay the possibility of something more serious, but it's absolutely impossible to tell from the post.

 

With 5 kids on a wide-ish age spectrum who get both silly and rough with each other, it isn't all that unusual for me to hear laughing, tumbling, and "Not my <whatever euphemism the boys are using for private areas that day>!" or "Dude, that's my boob!" now that the girls are older.  Even without wrestling around, accidents can happen.  Apologies are expected here, despite lack of intent.

 

There are 4 boys in my son's other household. I assume the same thing happens over there.

[lovinmyboys]

First, the 5yo needs to be acknowledged that she felt uncomfortable and the touch was inappropriate. Validate her feelings and address the issue with the 7yo. Doesn't matter if it was intentional or accidental, the 7yo needs to be more mindful. Second, (if the touch was intentional in nature vs an accidental), the 7yo has either seen things or is a victim and needs counseling.

 

I would probably allow visitation with two caveats, supervision and counseling of the 7yo. The home should not be a unsafe place for the 5yo. The 7yo is very young though too. If help and addressing the issue isn't enough I would suspend visitation while 7yo undergoes counseling. In many ways a parent experiencing this, is in between a rock and a hard place. They are both such young children, and it's never a simple solution.

I think this is an over reaction. A 7yr old who touches (one time) someone else has not necessarily been abused

or seen something and does not need counseling. Also, a 7yr old should never lose visitation with a parent based on the child's actions. If it turns out that the step siblings need to be kept separate, that needs to happen without the child and father being kept separate.

 

It is possible that the 7yr old has been abused, but I wouldn't jump there from one incident. It is also possible that the family needs counseling if the step mom is wanting him to lose visitation with his father. It doesn't seem like a good family dynamic if the step mom jumps to that immediately.

 

I'm sorry, after what happened in my family, I can see the mess that is caused when adults over react to childish behavior. The 5yr old should definitely be validated, educated, and kept safe. But the 7yr old doesn't have to be hurt in the process.

[DawnM]

They should not be unsupervised.  And they should never be behind closed doors.

 

 

[kiwik]

If the kid is only there in the weekend he should spend the majority of that time with his father. The rest of the time can be spent somewhere an adult can supervise. It was probably nothing but it doesn't hurt to be careful. But you wouldn't ban him from the house if they were both your kids.

[Scarlett]

Only the 7 years boy and his 6 year old sister are the husbands. The 5 year old girl is the child of the wife. They were married 6 months and she left him, telling everyone the husband was emotionally abusive of her and that the 7 year old had molested her dd. Later she told that she had not witnessed it but her dd told her about it. I dont know if the dd told without prompting or if the mom asked her if anyone had ever touched her.

 

They stayed separated for about 3 months and when she came back his kids didn't come to visit for 2 months ( and he had been faithful in excerpting his visitation for 4 years prior) this last weekend his dd6 cons but not his son.

 

I feel sick about it. I feel he is letting his wife destroy his relationship with his children.....and I dont much like either one of them right now. He has been my friend for 10 years,

[mommytobees]

Honestly, your friend needs step up and be proactive and stop being reactive to this situation. (because that's what it sounds like from your post)

 

He should be insisting that ALL of the children need to get into counseling. He only has the right to get his two, but IF wife wants him back in the marriage, she needs to agree to counseling for her kid too. (Personally, if I were step mom, I would be taking my kid to her own therapist.

 

First, to determine IF anything has happened to the 7yo boy. Children that young who are NOT hypersexualized play "doctor" and "show me yours, I'll show you mine" because they are curious. Hyper sexualized children emulate what they've seen/done.

 

Second, to determine IF something happened between the step siblings. Again, there are innocent things that can and do happen between two, non-related children. 

 

If they sweep this under the rug, they ruin many different relationships.

 

Kris

[zoobie]

Only the 7 years boy and his 6 year old sister are the husbands. The 5 year old girl is the child of the wife. They were married 6 months and she left him, telling everyone the husband was emotionally abusive of her and that the 7 year old had molested her dd. Later she told that she had not witnessed it but her dd told her about it. I dont know if the dd told without prompting or if the mom asked her if anyone had ever touched her.

 

They stayed separated for about 3 months and when she came back his kids didn't come to visit for 2 months ( and he had been faithful in excerpting his visitation for 4 years prior) this last weekend his dd6 cons but not his son.

 

I feel sick about it. I feel he is letting his wife destroy his relationship with his children.....and I dont much like either one of them right now. He has been my friend for 10 years,

Wow. Yeah. That's not right. Everyone needs real therapy ASAP. I'd keep my son supervised to protect him from allegations. I would not stop seeing him at all. That's abandonment! He's 7. Mom needs serious help too. :(

Edited September 4, 2016 by zoobie

[Farrar]

I think the only way to resolve something like that is if everyone is willing to acknowledge both that "playing doctor" can be or become serious abuse and that exploration like this can be pretty normal and that young children usually don't need to be pathologized or demonized. It seems like in this situation, there's way too much going on for everyone to get into the context of what happened and get it addressed properly.

 

I've seen a lot of situations where a parent chooses to let the children have too much power over the adult relationships and lives. But this is the opposite problem. This relationship clearly isn't healthy. The father needs to prioritize his kids. They either need to all get therapy or they need to separate again and move toward divorce.

[FaithManor]

The step mom called it molestation. The details I got from the dad were that the girl says the boy touched her on the outside of her clothes in her private areas. There is a very real,chance the boy had been exposed to cramp in his moms life....

 

I still can't see refusing to get him for visitation..

Given the age range, I would simply make a rule that they cannot be without direct adult supervision which is a pain for sure but better safe than sorry, talk openly with the two children about good touch/bad touch and the right to keep private parts private, allow questions to diffuse curiosity because at this age the curiosity is often not predatory, but to make sure the seven year old is not incurring inappropriate exposure to sex or being abused, demand that the the child have an evaluation by a licensed child therapist with experience in counseling molested children. Such a person has been trained to do the evaluation without unnecessarily traumatizing the child.

 

I would want the little boy to continue to see his daddy, and even if the evaluation brought up something serious, would facilitate visitation that did not involve the little girl even if that meant she spent the weekend with grandparents, a trusted friend, or with her mother somewhere else. Not fun. But this boy is little and needs his daddy's love and nurturing too so the adults need to figure out how to make that work in a safe way for both children.

[StephanieZ]

Well, IMHO, no matter the situation, the dad has a moral duty to remain connected with each of his children. IMHO, that should mean the dad going to see his son, taking him to outings together, getting his own apartment for weekend visits, separating from his wife, or doing whatever else is necessary to nurture and be involved with his son. ESPECIALLY if there is some risk that the child has been abused! If his 7 year old did a bad thing (I'm hesitant to label it abuse at that young an age), the child needs his dad. Period. He's a baby!

 

IMHO, a parent's duty to their minor child trumps all other relationships. If he has to choose between his new wife and his child, he has to choose his child. If he has to choose between living with his wife/step-daughter and his son, he has to choose his son. IMHO. If the 5yo is his actual daughter, then he is in a really, really shitty situation, and I can't even imagine what he should do. But, one way or another, he has to parent and support and love his children, and he has to protect all of them from all sources of harm. 

 

Whether or not it was ordinary playing doctor exploration, an inadvertent accident, a non-sexual behavior (smacking on butt? wedgie?) on his part that was interpreted as not-OK by the little girl . . . or was truly a malevolent abusive action (presumably caused by some tragic, awful experiences the boy has had), counseling/support, etc, should be sought for all involved. IMHO. 

 

What a terrible situation.

 

 

[Scarlett]

Well, IMHO, no matter the situation, the dad has a moral duty to remain connected with each of his children. IMHO, that should mean the dad going to see his son, taking him to outings together, getting his own apartment for weekend visits, separating from his wife, or doing whatever else is necessary to nurture and be involved with his son. ESPECIALLY if there is some risk that the child has been abused! If his 7 year old did a bad thing (I'm hesitant to label it abuse at that young an age), the child needs his dad. Period. He's a baby!

 

IMHO, a parent's duty to their minor child trumps all other relationships. If he has to choose between his new wife and his child, he has to choose his child. If he has to choose between living with his wife/step-daughter and his son, he has to choose his son. IMHO. If the 5yo is his actual daughter, then he is in a really, really shitty situation, and I can't even imagine what he should do. But, one way or another, he has to parent and support and love his children, and he has to protect all of them from all sources of harm.

 

Whether or not it was ordinary playing doctor exploration, an inadvertent accident, a non-sexual behavior (smacking on butt? wedgie?) on his part that was interpreted as not-OK by the little girl . . . or was truly a malevolent abusive action (presumably caused by some tragic, awful experiences the boy has had), counseling/support, etc, should be sought for all involved. IMHO.

 

What a terrible situation.

Yes this is my view as well.

 

I am having such a difficult time thinking of that 7 year old boy being abandoned by his father. I reached out to him last night and he responded saying things aren't just like he wants but he is working on it....and then got an ear full more from the grandmother of the child....on moms side....and I am sick with grief....wondering if I should say more or appear to be ok with how he is handling things by my silence.

[Scarlett]

I think this is an over reaction. A 7yr old who touches (one time) someone else has not necessarily been abused

or seen something and does not need counseling. Also, a 7yr old should never lose visitation with a parent based on the child's actions. If it turns out that the step siblings need to be kept separate, that needs to happen without the child and father being kept separate.

 

It is possible that the 7yr old has been abused, but I wouldn't jump there from one incident. It is also possible that the family needs counseling if the step mom is wanting him to lose visitation with his father. It doesn't seem like a good family dynamic if the step mom jumps to that immediately.

 

I'm sorry, after what happened in my family, I can see the mess that is caused when adults over react to childish behavior. The 5yr old should definitely be validated, educated, and kept safe. But the 7yr old doesn't have to be hurt in the process.

Over react. That is what it feels like. And I am sorry to any of you who were molested as children and scarred for life...but there has to be space for a 7 year old do be foolish and impulsive and the parents remain calm and in control and have an atmospher of we don't do stuff like that....it is not proper and will not be tolerated but we still love you very much. And then without any more word to any of the children supervise relentlessly which IMO should be the standard anyway when dealing with kids this age even if they are bio siblings. I know the lay out of their home and it might even require the dad sleeping in the son's room when he visits just to be double sure the girls are safe, if we do believe this 7 yo is dangerous which I highly doubt.

[Artichoke]

Only the 7 years boy and his 6 year old sister are the husbands. The 5 year old girl is the child of the wife. They were married 6 months and she left him, telling everyone the husband was emotionally abusive of her and that the 7 year old had molested her dd. Later she told that she had not witnessed it but her dd told her about it. I dont know if the dd told without prompting or if the mom asked her if anyone had ever touched her.

 

They stayed separated for about 3 months and when she came back his kids didn't come to visit for 2 months ( and he had been faithful in excerpting his visitation for 4 years prior) this last weekend his dd6 cons but not his son.

 

I feel sick about it. I feel he is letting his wife destroy his relationship with his children.....and I dont much like either one of them right now. He has been my friend for 10 years,

 

 

We're a blended family.   When dh and I married, I knew he had children, and they would be a part of his life.   While I knew there would be challenges, I had no idea how hard forming a family would be.  Now, twenty-four years later I know it's hard and am thankful for the relationships, however imperfect, we've formed.  

 

 It's hard to blend families and even harder if you think your child is being ill-treated.  In the early years of our marriage, I'd have jumped at just about any excuse to not have our eldest children visit.  Frankly, it was a pain in the bottom.   Over the years, I began to mature and love them as my own. 

 

 Your friend may be in the " how can I stop the visits" camp.   The fact remains, though that the adults involved chose to have a relationship with children in tow, unless either of them lied about it.  Now, the wife has chosen to come back to the marriage after the alleged abuse.  Unless the husband has agreed that the 7 yr old will not be back ( and I really hope he hasn't ) then they need to work with that in mind.   

 

Since it's a convoluted situation where several months have passed, I'd personally not try to unravel the situation but would try to be more vigilant and not allow the children to be alone together.  I'd also hope that both parents would try to love and care for the children while forging a bond that would bring any serious issues to light.   

[Harriet Vane]

Only the 7 years boy and his 6 year old sister are the husbands. The 5 year old girl is the child of the wife. They were married 6 months and she left him, telling everyone the husband was emotionally abusive of her and that the 7 year old had molested her dd. Later she told that she had not witnessed it but her dd told her about it. I dont know if the dd told without prompting or if the mom asked her if anyone had ever touched her.

 

They stayed separated for about 3 months and when she came back his kids didn't come to visit for 2 months ( and he had been faithful in excerpting his visitation for 4 years prior) this last weekend his dd6 cons but not his son.

 

I feel sick about it. I feel he is letting his wife destroy his relationship with his children.....and I dont much like either one of them right now. He has been my friend for 10 years,

 

 

This is a hot mess that is damaging to the children first and foremost.  

 

The family needs counseling. Period. And they need it from someone experienced and insightful. 

 

Someone outside the situation needs to sift through the allegations of abuse, because treating a 7yo like he's some pervert is unbelievably damaging. He's just a kid. What happened may have been normal exploration requiring some parental coaching about appropriate boundaries or it may be a big red flag for abuse. (Meaning someone may have hurt the 7yo.) (Even if it was childish, if 5yo was uncomfortable, undoubtedly it was wrong. But it may not have been pathological--7yo may just need coaching to recognize appropriate privacy, to not use his status as bigger and older to get his own way, and to pay attention to someone's cues that they may be uncomfortable.)

 

None of the players have the perspective to make the determination about what happened to either of the kids, and they are making big, hard-hearted, selfish choices in their ignorance.

[KungFuPanda]

I think that if you're willing to throw away a 7-year-old boy on the word of a 5-year-old girl, without any sort of medical or psychological examinations, then you don't deserve to raise ANY children. Both parents sound "off" and I'm not surprised they found each other . . . and left each other . . . and found each other again.

[SKL]

7yo is too young to have any concept of why that is a very wrong thing to do.

 

Siblings in that age group are in this situation fairly often.  It's something all parents need to watch for and deal with.  It is not dealt with by taking away a parent from the child who got curious.

 

The kids should be supervised much more closely when they are together.  The boy should be talked to about boundaries.  The mom of the 5yo probably needs therapy or something if she is going around telling people a 7yo step sibling "molested" her daughter.  :/

[Scarlett]

I am just about to unfriend them both. I just can't stand it. First a few weeks ago he had just his daughter for visitation. Then this weekend he had both. All sorts of sweet posts from the step mom about what a great weekend they are going to have,,...then I realize the

At his kids are both in the pics, but her dd is missing.

 

So that is how they plan to do it.

 

I am just sick.,,...

[MinivanMom]

I am just about to unfriend them both. I just can't stand it. First a few weeks ago he had just his daughter for visitation. Then this weekend he had both. All sorts of sweet posts from the step mom about what a great weekend they are going to have,,...then I realize the

At his kids are both in the pics, but her dd is missing.

 

So that is how they plan to do it.

 

I am just sick.,,...

 

Why does that make you feel sick? It's standard practice when there are allegations of abuse among siblings (or step-siblings) to keep the children separate until it is sorted out. Having her daughter away (is she with grandma, spending the weekend with a friend???) during his son's visit is a very good short-term solution. Son gets visitation with dad and support from him. Daughter doesn't have to have contact with step-brother while abuse allegations are being dealt with, which is very good if she doesn't feel safe with him. Win-win.

 

If they are seeing a good therapist to sort this all out, then I wouldn't be surprised if this was the therapist's suggestion.

[TranquilMind]

I would tend to believe the 5-year-old.

 

The solution is not necessarily to ban the boy from visitation. That's pretty extreme. He's just a kid, and this is his family. 

 

My other post outlines what I would look for and what I would do.

 

I'd be watching them all like a hawk.  And I would report to the boy's mother what I know if it happened again. 

[Scarlett]

I don't think they are seeing a therapist.  I don't think the 5 year old was even taken to a doctor.

 

What makes me sick is I believe he is letting this new wife call the shots.  

 

I see no reason why those kids have to be not even in the same house. They are just little kids who could be very very closely monitored and supervised.  They are creating a system of division in the family and making the little boy feel like a criminal.  btw, the mom says she saw the little girl 'humping' on her dd....the other allegation she did not witness.  So why is the little girl ok to be around her dd but not the boy?  

 

It is just not right.  And I think he is going to really regret this.But oh well, not my life.