Seeking parenting advice re road trip -- UPDATED: THE RV IS HERE!!!

[katilac]

So, it looks like "go in a year" is tied with "go in four years," with a sizable chunk who think we shouldn't go at all.

 

Parenting is so hard.

 

You're welcome. 

 

:lol:

[mommyoffive]

So, it looks like "go in a year" is tied with "go in four years," with a sizable chunk who think we shouldn't go at all.

 

Parenting is so hard.

 

 

Do what you want to do.  You can never make everyone happy all the time.  Someone is always going to say you shouldn't do something that you are doing.

[Nan in Mass]

I think the real issue is whether you want to be a family that spends significant amounts of time (as in years) exploring, or whether you want to be a family that stays put and is involved year after year in one community. They both have advantages and disadvantages. You can have roots with either scenario, provided you return to the same area between trips, but your roots will be less people oriented and more geography and activity oriented (unless you have family rooted in the area). Judging by this thread, it sounds like you and your husband are yourselves explorers, and you are looking at your children and wondering if they are stay-put people. The explorer people here are saying cool go for it I am jealous. The stay put people here are saying bad idea bad way to raise a child. Some were born one way but were raised the other way. Those are the ones that you might want to question further. Since I think happy parents produce happy children, you parents appear to be explorers, and children are stuck with whatever family they are born into, I,d say go ahead and be explorers, but that is just my opinion. My experience says that if you want to raise your children that way, you are better off doing it when they are young so they take it for granted that this just is the way things are, not a choice that they have. Children that get switched from stayput to explorer or the other way round mid childhood seem to be less happy with their situation than the ones who have done it all along, going by my observations of both types of families. Not that my sample size is very big. I just have talked to a number of live aboard families and we,re sailing once in a lifetime several year trip families. I think your idea of a big vehicle is good. Some of the unhappiness I,ve encountered on boats had to do with fathers who were proud of how little stuff they could get away with. The ones who let their children bring the hamster and the guitar and their stuffed animals and their windsurfer and their fishing gear and their girlfriend and all the books they wanted seemed to be much happier than the ones who were only allowed to bring what would fit in one dufflebag. Bikes for rvers and little outboard motors for boating children, so they can go exploring on their own, seemed really important as well. If you are going to raise explorers, you need to allow them to explore. Otherwise, you are denying them the advantages of the explorer lifestyle and just leaving them with the disadvantages.

 

Nan

[sheryl]

Monique,

 

I voted for the oldest scenario.    Reason, to me, is pretty simple.  They are sooo young right now that they really won't appreciate it.  

 

Yes, these are formative years.   Take 6 - 12 months off and be involved in community service work, in some way.  Or, just take a "much" lighter schedule.  Who says they don't learn under those circumstances?   Maybe it's my free spirit side but that is one of the beauties of h'schooling.   There is more freedom for your h'school  day/month, etc. to look  this way and not that way.  IOW, it's breaking a "little" free from conformity.  Thinking outside the box.

 

What do you remember at that age?  Sure, you probably remember an event or two but probably not enough memory to recall today and incorporate it to any extent. 

 

Will they learn if you go now?  Yes.  But, for the moment. 

 

Remember they will be "growing up" with you on the road.  Your oldest in the oldest bracket on your poll will just be able to really apply what he's learned with some regularity. 

 

If you want it to be somewhat educational, then wait.

 

If it's purely for fun, etc. then by all means now would be fine. 

 

 

PS - I think that's great your one child is 2 years ahead.  That's from an educational standpoint.  He may not be 2 years ahead/more mature in other areas: emotional, etc. other ways.

 

Whenever you go, have fun.  I wish my dh could take 2 years off to do this! :) 

[catz]

I haven't read other responses, but I have a few thoughts as a family that has done many road trips, up to the 3-4 week range, and has older kids - 15.5 and newly 12.

 

I will say we went on a long road trip when younger was newly potty trained.  That was not great at all.  I would wait until younger is at least 5 and is super well trained, preferably through the night. 

 

We find travel days having a pattern of wake up, breakfast, drive 2-3 hours, run around break/snack, drive 2-3 hours, lunch, run around break/snack, drive 2-3 hours, settle in somewhere/run/swim/dinner/play games to work well. 

 

My kids test in the highly-profoundly gifted range and have always been ahead.  7 year olds are enthusiastic magnets for learning, but I've definitely seen things ebb and flow for my kids.  I wouldn't chose to officially skip grades in an advanced homeschooled 7 year old until you see what puberty is going to look like.  Like someone else said, GT kids are often asynchronous.  Executive function has been slower to come in my 15 year old, but is now coming together.  And I've always been able to find high level academics for him and next year he will be eligible for free college classes here.  It's been nice not having to sweat the junior high years so much.  I also think it's absolutely fine and even favorable to put things like online classes on the back burner to have more hands on learning.  Some longer road trips we've done that were full of museums, natural history, ranger programs, etc I feel have covered TONS of material we would not have gotten at home and have built up my kids confidence and curiosity. 

 

In terms of time frame, I'd go before oldest hits high school age.  I think my 12 year old might grumble about an adventure like this, but she'd enjoy it once we got going.  My 15 year old?  I think he would resent it and shut down without careful consideration.  Both my kids are in committed activities, but I think it's totally fine to take a break.  But my 15 year old NEEDS that peer interaction now.  My husband may have an opportunity to go overseas for a year and I think that would be REALLY hard right now for my 15 year old.  I'd consider it if I could find the right opportunities for him in the European city in question.  But I'm kind of crossing fingers it doesn't happen right now.

 

If you're really attached to your regular schedule, classes, etc then this type of longer term adventure might not be for you.  I would definitely plan a 3-4 week trip or two and try it.  See what you think and if you can live like that for a couple years. 

[sassenach]

This is a real concern for me. It feels like sooner rather than later is going to be easier.

 

The issue that we have with doing short trips throughout the year vs. leaving for a year or two is that we would have to maintain a residence in San Diego to come back to. That is currently a $2100/month proposition, and we only live in a two bedroom apartment. We have tried to buy a home with my VA loan, but the market is currently so hot, that no one wants to deal with VA loans -- not when you have 10 offers over list price, several paying all cash, and can close quickly without the hassles of all the VA requirements. Even if we did buy, there is no guarantee that you can AirBnB the thing every time you want to leave.

 

So, this is a plan we are thinking about for tax purposes as well -- a huge dually we can write off as equipment for my husband's marine business and the 5th wheel interest is a second home mortgage deduction. If we don't get something in place by the end of 2016, we are going to get killed by taxes.

Could you live out of the RV in SD?

 

For your kids, 2 years away will really be like a complete move. They'll come back to very different friendships (thinking of the 7yo), or have to make all new ones. If you're going to do it, I say the sooner the better. The 3yo won't remember most of it, but it'll be better for the 7yo. You have to assume he will just be friendless for 2 years.

 

I'm also inclined to suggest shorter trips.

[catz]

I just wanted to add now that I've read the other posts, in a lot of ways I think extroverted kids can reach out and make friends wherever they go.  My daughter at age 12 can still be dropped in a camp or class where she knows no one and comes home with stories of new friends.  I would make sure places with people and interactions are definitely a regular part of the program.  Technology - texting, social media, online gaming, skype, etc are already a part of my kids daily lives so have a good set up that way can really help. 

 

If I were going to do this, maybe find some short term opportunities for classes, camps, interactions with other kids, etc.  My kids friends when they were in early elementary are not necessarily the same as they are now.  Kids to change and develop more distinct personalities and interests, etc.  So though I think social is great and reaching out remotely to friends is a great idea, I think the extroverted thing is manageable with good planning. 

[sassenach]

So, it looks like "go in a year" is tied with "go in four years," with a sizable chunk who think we shouldn't go at all.

 

Parenting is so hard.

I'm shocked by the go in four years votes. Those voters must not have parented extroverted 11-13 year olds. I think that would be disastrous, honestly. Like long term emotional consequences. We did a long distance move when my extroverted oldest was 11 and I feel like there has been real emotional fall out because of it. My younger 2 are 11 and 13 and they would be devastated to move away right now. Friends at this age will move on. Your kids won't be able to come back and just pick up where they left off.

 

Can I emphasize enough how bad of an idea I think that would be?

[FriedClams]

We travel a lot but we do a week/ten days at a time. I think three months would be a good "long" trip but let the kids keep their connections. Maybe even a semester if you want to go longer.

[SeaConquest]

I think the real issue is whether you want to be a family that spends significant amounts of time (as in years) exploring, or whether you want to be a family that stays put and is involved year after year in one community. They both have advantages and disadvantages. You can have roots with either scenario, provided you return to the same area between trips, but your roots will be less people oriented and more geography and activity oriented (unless you have family rooted in the area). Judging by this thread, it sounds like you and your husband are yourselves explorers, and you are looking at your children and wondering if they are stay-put people. The explorer people here are saying cool go for it I am jealous. The stay put people here are saying bad idea bad way to raise a child. Some were born one way but were raised the other way. Those are the ones that you might want to question further. Since I think happy parents produce happy children, you parents appear to be explorers, and children are stuck with whatever family they are born into, I,d say go ahead and be explorers, but that is just my opinion. My experience says that if you want to raise your children that way, you are better off doing it when they are young so they take it for granted that this just is the way things are, not a choice that they have. Children that get switched from stayput to explorer or the other way round mid childhood seem to be less happy with their situation than the ones who have done it all along, going by my observations of both types of families. Not that my sample size is very big. I just have talked to a number of live aboard families and we,re sailing once in a lifetime several year trip families. I think your idea of a big vehicle is good. Some of the unhappiness I,ve encountered on boats had to do with fathers who were proud of how little stuff they could get away with. The ones who let their children bring the hamster and the guitar and their stuffed animals and their windsurfer and their fishing gear and their girlfriend and all the books they wanted seemed to be much happier than the ones who were only allowed to bring what would fit in one dufflebag. Bikes for rvers and little outboard motors for boating children, so they can go exploring on their own, seemed really important as well. If you are going to raise explorers, you need to allow them to explore. Otherwise, you are denying them the advantages of the explorer lifestyle and just leaving them with the disadvantages.

 

Nan

 

I think that my DH is the explorer and wanderlust, and potentially my younger as well, though it is too soon to tell. My oldest and I crave more stability than them (not sure that is saying much, though), but we are both open to new experiences. I mean, I left for a month-long trip to the then USSR when I was 15 and for the Army when I was 17. I've spent many years living and working overseas, so, I think part of my more lukewarm feeling about long-term travel today is that I have already BTDT. I've lost a lot of that wanderlust over the years, and am much more introverted than I was in my youth, especially after having children. But, this is good advice, and I appreciate it, Nan.

[SeaConquest]

I haven't read other responses, but I have a few thoughts as a family that has done many road trips, up to the 3-4 week range, and has older kids - 15.5 and newly 12.

 

I will say we went on a long road trip when younger was newly potty trained.  That was not great at all.  I would wait until younger is at least 5 and is super well trained, preferably through the night. 

 

We find travel days having a pattern of wake up, breakfast, drive 2-3 hours, run around break/snack, drive 2-3 hours, lunch, run around break/snack, drive 2-3 hours, settle in somewhere/run/swim/dinner/play games to work well. 

 

My kids test in the highly-profoundly gifted range and have always been ahead.  7 year olds are enthusiastic magnets for learning, but I've definitely seen things ebb and flow for my kids.  I wouldn't chose to officially skip grades in an advanced homeschooled 7 year old until you see what puberty is going to look like.  Like someone else said, GT kids are often asynchronous.  Executive function has been slower to come in my 15 year old, but is now coming together.  And I've always been able to find high level academics for him and next year he will be eligible for free college classes here.  It's been nice not having to sweat the junior high years so much.  I also think it's absolutely fine and even favorable to put things like online classes on the back burner to have more hands on learning.  Some longer road trips we've done that were full of museums, natural history, ranger programs, etc I feel have covered TONS of material we would not have gotten at home and have built up my kids confidence and curiosity. 

 

In terms of time frame, I'd go before oldest hits high school age.  I think my 12 year old might grumble about an adventure like this, but she'd enjoy it once we got going.  My 15 year old?  I think he would resent it and shut down without careful consideration.  Both my kids are in committed activities, but I think it's totally fine to take a break.  But my 15 year old NEEDS that peer interaction now.  My husband may have an opportunity to go overseas for a year and I think that would be REALLY hard right now for my 15 year old.  I'd consider it if I could find the right opportunities for him in the European city in question.  But I'm kind of crossing fingers it doesn't happen right now.

 

If you're really attached to your regular schedule, classes, etc then this type of longer term adventure might not be for you.  I would definitely plan a 3-4 week trip or two and try it.  See what you think and if you can live like that for a couple years. 

 

Just a couple of things:

 

The youngest is solidly day and night trained already. But, regardless, we wouldn't leave until he is 4 (August 2017) because the kids are already registered for school/ECs/speech therapy for the little next year. 

 

I didn't mean to imply that my oldest has skipped grades. I am just referring to the level that he is working at in his various subjects. He is definitely a silly, sweet, academically asynchronous 7.5 year old boy.  I only mentioned his acceleration because it is likely that he will hit more rigorous classes earlier than a kid working at grade level. For example, he is heading towards AOPS pre-alegebra in 4th grade. So, while we could just sorta blow off academics for a year or two, I don't think oldest would be very happy with doing so. 

 

In terms of trips, we are already going sailing up the coast and over to Catalina for 2.5 weeks at the end of August. This is a normal type trip for us.

 

Both kids are very independent personalities and make friends easily. They are not shy in the least, jump right in to new activities with others, and introduce themselves to random strangers wherever we go. My youngest was standing naked on the balcony the other day, and saw a car filled with kids outside our balcony. He yells from the balcony, "Hi, I'm Ronen. I'm a big boy. Do you want to come in my house and play with my toys!" It was adorable. It's just that oldest is now old enough to want something more than just hello-goodbye friends. 

Edited July 16, 2016 by SeaConquest

[SeaConquest]

I'm shocked by the go in four years votes. Those voters must not have parented extroverted 11-13 year olds. I think that would be disastrous, honestly. Like long term emotional consequences. We did a long distance move when my extroverted oldest was 11 and I feel like there has been real emotional fall out because of it. My younger 2 are 11 and 13 and they would be devastated to move away right now. Friends at this age will move on. Your kids won't be able to come back and just pick up where they left off.

 

Can I emphasize enough how bad of an idea I think that would be?

 

I am inclined to agree with you. We have seen other families go on these types of trips with their older kids (usually sailing trips for 1 year+), and it has seldom ended well. I have seen it work on a few occasions, but the kids were really really on-board with the idea. 

[catz]

Just a couple of things:

 

The youngest is solidly day and night trained already. But, regardless, we wouldn't leave until he is 4 (August 2017) because the kids are already registered for school/ECs/speech therapy for the little next year. 

 

I didn't mean to imply that my oldest has skipped grades. I am just referring to the level that he is working at in his various subjects. He is definitely a silly, sweet, academically asynchronous 7.5 year old boy.  I only mentioned his acceleration because it is likely that he will hit more rigorous classes earlier than a kid working at grade level. For example, he is heading towards AOPS pre-alegebra in 4th grade. So, while we could just sorta blow off academics for a year or two, I don't think oldest would be very happy with doing so. 

 

In terms of trips, we are already going sailing up the coast and over to Catalina for 2.5 weeks at the end of August. This is a normal type trip for us.

 

Both kids are very independent personalities and make friends easily. They are not shy in the least, jump right in to new activities with others, and introduce themselves to random strangers wherever we go. My youngest was standing naked on the balcony the other day, and saw a car filled with kids outside our balcony. He yells from the balcony, "Hi, I'm Ronen. I'm a big boy. Do you want to come in my house and play with my toys!" It was adorable. It's just that oldest is now old enough to want something more than just hello-goodbye friends. 

 

Sorry, my only point on academics was that a very enthusiastic 7 year old can turn into a slugglish, kind of air head tween/teen.  My oldest hit pre-alg at 4th grade and though he is still ahead in math and tests very high in it on the ACT, getting the writing/accuracy where it really needed to be for more advanced math took some time and we did get creative with math curriculum and buying time from like 4th-7th/8th grade with him.  And he wasn't always, YAY let's do more math like he was when he was racing through Singapore workbooks in early elementary.  Having homeschooled for 9 years now I think it's been good for us to go into every year of homeschooling with new eyes and not be married to any one set of classes, curriculum, etc.  What my kid wanted and needed at 7 is very different than what it looked like at 9, 11, 13, 15.  As a total aside, I actually moved my 2nd child through math slower intentionally.  I have a math degree, so this is one area that I definitely have over thought. 

 

If your child really wants longer term established friendships and you want to give that to them, then maybe 2 years is too much.  We come from an urban setting where every different activity my kids do is often a completely different group of kids.  Only the past like 12-18 months can I say my kids have a group of friends they really prefer and seek out and that's only because we found a like minded homeschool co-op community.   Just giving that background, because it sounds like we have had different experiences than some.  So up until my oldest was about 13 or so, I think he would have been totally fine with a more long term experience away from home if it were well designed to meet social needs.   14+ - no way for him.

 

If you want more structure for you child as a tween, I think go now if you are able. 

Edited July 16, 2016 by WoolySocks

[luuknam]

I'm shocked by the go in four years votes. Those voters must not have parented extroverted 11-13 year olds.

 

It's just that oldest is now old enough to want something more than just hello-goodbye friends. 

 

Some more thoughts on this (I haven't voted, btw). My oldest seems pretty extroverted (talks a lot, likes being around other kids, always goes up to other kids at the playground to ask to play tag or w/e, etc). That said, he's still happy with hello-goodbye friends. He's almost 9, so about 1.5 years older than OP's son. I obviously haven't parented any older kids, and I don't know at what point he's going to really want long-term friends. What I'm trying to say though is that that point may come at different ages for different kids. The fact that my oldest has got high-functioning autism might have some impact there as well... even if he wanted long-term friendships, he may not have the skills to make that happen. Hello-goodbye friendships are so much easier for an ASD kid. But I wouldn't make a blanket statement like "those voters must not have parented extroverted 11-13 year olds". Not every kid is the same.

[catz]

But I wouldn't make a blanket statement like "those voters must not have parented extroverted 11-13 year olds". Not every kid is the same.

 

:iagree:  My kids definitely lean extroverted, and most especially my daughter.  But she has the ability to find a friend with some common ground in almost any group.  I still think at 12, she'd be fine with longer term travel.  We haven't done it though we have been on the hook for a couple overseas opportunities that haven't panned out.  My husband's employment situation doesn't lend itself well to travel, though since he gets 6 weeks of vacation a year we have had chances to do longer trips. 

 

For example, my 12 year old is in a theater production this summer.  Most of those kids are brand new to her.  But those are the kids she's excited and talking about this summer.  She's in digital contact with her homeschool friends occasionally, but hasn't seen most since May.  She traveled for 2 weeks and came home talking about a couple girls she met at a music camp she went to (DH and her went on a different trip than DS and I - long story).  She's danced at the same dance studio for 5 years, but every fall and summer it's a different group of kids.  She loves the kids there, but rarely sees them outside of dance.   She rolls with whoever she ends up with.  I think if we had to throw her into another dance studio in another city, we would chose carefully.  But I think she'd be absolutely fine after an adjustment period.  Anyway, this is why I say my own 12 year old could roll with a travel year. 

 

 

Edited July 16, 2016 by WoolySocks

[SeaConquest]

Sorry, my only point on academics was that a very enthusiastic 7 year old can turn into a slugglish, kind of air head tween/teen.  My oldest hit pre-alg at 4th grade and though he is still ahead in math and tests very high in it on the ACT, getting the writing/accuracy where it really needed to be for more advanced math took some time and we did get creative with math curriculum and buying time from like 4th-7th/8th grade with him.  And he wasn't always, YAY let's do more math like he was when he was racing through Singapore workbooks in early elementary.  Having homeschooled for 9 years now I think it's been good for us to go into every year of homeschooling with new eyes and not be married to any one set of classes, curriculum, etc.  What my kid wanted and needed at 7 is very different than what it looked like at 9, 11, 13, 15.  As a total aside, I actually moved my 2nd child through math slower intentionally.  I have a math degree, so this is one area that I definitely have over thought. 

 

If your child really wants longer term established friendships and you want to give that to them, then maybe 2 years is too much.  We come from an urban setting where every different activity my kids do is often a completely different group of kids.  Only the past like 12-18 months can I say my kids have a group of friends they really prefer and seek out and that's only because we found a like minded homeschool co-op community.   Just giving that background, because it sounds like we have had different experiences than some.  So up until my oldest was about 13 or so, I think he would have been totally fine with a more long term experience away from home if it were well designed to meet social needs.   14+ - no way for him.

 

If you want more structure for you child as a tween, I think go now if you are able. 

 

I agree that I have no idea what my oldest is going to be like academically. As they say, past performance is no prediction of future returns. His trajectory could indeed slow down. But, I am mindful of where he is now, and where he may be, if he continues on this trajectory, in a few years. That was my only point in mentioning it as a potential relevant issue.

 

As an aside, I hope I didn't give the impression that we are racing through curricula. I switched him from Singapore to Beast, and supplement BA with additional problem solving curricula, specifically to slow him down. And BA has done a really good job of challenging him. He is not a math prodigy/fiend; his true loves (at this age) are programming, science, robotics, and gaming. His father is an engineer, so he gets a lot of nurturing in that area from my DH.

 

Most of his ECs are with different groups of kids, but they are the same kids that he has been doing these ECs with for several years (the same soccer and preschool friends since age 2, the same homeschool charter and Jewish summer camp friends since age 5, etc). These are the people that he is loathe to leave behind. 

[SeaConquest]

:iagree:  My kids definitely lean extroverted, and most especially my daughter.  But she has the ability to find a friend with some common ground in almost any group.  I still think at 12, she'd be fine with longer term travel.  We haven't done it though we have been on the hook for a couple overseas opportunities that haven't panned out.  My husband's employment situation doesn't lend itself well to travel, though since he gets 6 weeks of vacation a year we have had chances to do longer trips. 

 

For example, my 12 year old is in a theater production this summer.  Most of those kids are brand new to her.  But those are the kids she's excited and talking about this summer.  She's in digital contact with her homeschool friends occasionally, but hasn't seen most since May.  She traveled for 2 weeks and came home talking about a couple girls she met at a music camp she went to (DH and her went on a different trip than DS and I - long story).  She's danced at the same dance studio for 5 years, but every fall and summer it's a different group of kids.  She loves the kids there, but rarely sees them outside of dance.   She rolls with whoever she ends up with.  I think if we had to throw her into another dance studio in another city, we would chose carefully.  But I think she'd be absolutely fine after an adjustment period.  Anyway, this is why I say my own 12 year old could roll with a travel year. 

 

 

 

She definitely sounds like my oldest. He is fine in any environment. I think the larger issue is that we aren't talking about going to one place for an extended period, or even a couple of months We are looking at something like this (hitting National and State Parks, and areas of cultural/historical interest, while trying to keep the weather around 70 degrees, low humidity, not buggy):

 

December So Cal Arizona

January Arizona South Texas

February Southeast  

March Mid Atlantic  

April Mid Atlantic  

May Northeast  

June Eastern Canada  

July Maine  

August Great Lakes  

September Upper Midwest  

October Midwest  

November Middle Texas  

December South Texas  

January So Cal  

February Arizona  

March Nevada  

April New Mexico  

May Utah  

June Rockies  

July PNW Western Canada

August PNW  

September Colorado  

October Utah  

November Central CA  

December So Cal  

Edited July 16, 2016 by SeaConquest

[Barb_]

You really aren't going to be able to have it both ways, I'm afraid. Either you go for it, flat out, jump in with both feet and realize the kids may have to sacrifice their friends for the long term experience, or just give the whole thing up and stay home. Trying to keep a foot in each world will be too painful for everyone. If you decide to go for it, I think you should make the decision, work up a lot of enthusiasm, give up any guilt (kids will smell and respond to your guilty conscience) and just GO.

[catz]

I agree that I have no idea what my oldest is going to be like academically. As they say, past performance is no prediction of future returns. His trajectory could indeed slow down. But, I am mindful of where he is now, and where he may be, if he continues on this trajectory, in a few years. That was my only point in mentioning it as a potential relevant issue.

 

As an aside, I hope I didn't give the impression that we are racing through curricula. I switched him from Singapore to Beast, and supplement BA with additional problem solving curricula, specifically to slow him down. And BA has done a really good job of challenging him. He is not a math prodigy/fiend; his true loves (at this age) are programming, science, robotics, and gaming. His father is an engineer, so he gets a lot of nurturing in that area from my DH.

 

Most of his ECs are with different groups of kids, but they are the same kids that he has been doing these ECs with for several years (the same soccer and preschool friends since age 2, the same homeschool charter and Jewish summer camp friends since age 5, etc). These are the people that he is loathe to leave behind. 

 

I really don't think it's really about slowing down.  My kid still tests way at the top of the bell curve.  It's about changing focus, growing 8 inches, hitting puberty, evolving interests, neurons fusing, moon alignment, not being willing to hoop jump, etc (lol).  The whole thing really threw me for a loop.  I guess hind sight is 20/20.  I think he was doing stuff he needed to be doing and learning during that time period, it just wasn't necessarily what I would have anticipated or planned given the kid he was earlier.

 

And I think when you're kid is willing to run with stuff, it's a great time to do it!   DH and I both have tech backgrounds, so my kids have been over nurtured on that end too.  :)  My kid craved learning in early elementary.

 

I just think it's fine as a parent to decide what's really important to you and to him.  If the online classes are a social thing and you want to make this happen, how else might you fill that need without needing to be glued to a computer at a certain time?  I really have been shocked at how much my kids learn and retain while traveling and exploring new ground, so with a kid younger than the 10 or even 12 range depending on what you're doing on the road, I wouldn't sweat it too much.  On some extended trips, we would just do math at breakfast in a workbook or orally, journal about what we did over dinner, and read at bedtime.  That would often be paired with lots of reading at a National Park doing a junior ranger program, a tour, a museum, hiking to a peak, learning about geysers, etc.

 

I also think if this isn't going to work for you, it's great to decide your stability is important too.  I really think my limit would be a year. 

 

[SeaConquest]

So, thank you all for the feedback in this thread. It gave my DH and I a lot to chew on the past few days.

 

We are meeting with our CPA on Friday to go over everything, but I think that we are going to take the plunge! We have been looking at trucks, which has been a hilarious process in San Diego. They look at you like you have three heads if you ask to see an enormous dually truck. :)

 

It looks like we are either going to Boise (can visit my Dad) or to Texas (can watch USC beat up Alabama in our season opener) to buy the truck/trailer. We currently have a couple of dealerships that are competing against each other. The current plan is to go pick it up and bring it back to CA around Labor Day. We have a reservation at an RV park near us from September through January, and will play it by ear after that.

 

I am both excited and nervous!!

[SeaConquest]

Me, the other day, on a test drive:

 

https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1063560087057607&set=a.122192681194357.31592.100002108775692&type=3&theater

 

Ha ha!

[Seasider]

I am excited for you! Admittedly, I've been Team Travel. Great adventure awaits!

[Janeway]

They are so young. Life on the road is a very unstable life. And 2 yrs in the life of a 7 yr old or 3 yr old is HUGE. Even to us it may feel like a year of adventure, to them, it feels like a homeless unstable life with no real home to come home to. If you MUST do this while they are still children, then I would wait until they both have online classes and such so they at least have that. You and your husband have each other, you have us, you have all sorts of people and chances to interact. They are so young. I do not think now is the time for it.

[SeaConquest]

They are so young. Life on the road is a very unstable life. And 2 yrs in the life of a 7 yr old or 3 yr old is HUGE. Even to us it may feel like a year of adventure, to them, it feels like a homeless unstable life with no real home to come home to. If you MUST do this while they are still children, then I would wait until they both have online classes and such so they at least have that. You and your husband have each other, you have us, you have all sorts of people and chances to interact. They are so young. I do not think now is the time for it.

 

I understand and share your concern, but I think it is a bit presumptuous to assume that all children will feel as you have described. They will be with both of their parents, full-time, in a home that they get to take with them wherever they want to go. And they will have freedoms that they can only dream about here, living in a 1000 square foot apartment, with no backyard or area to play, in a congested, urban area of San Diego, with a father who is away from work for most of the day.

 

Yes, there are drawbacks, as have been discussed. There are also enormous benefits. Like learning about nature, like being able to climb trees and ride bikes and just PLAY without expensive camps and scheduled playdates. And it isn't forever. It may not even be for two years. But, it's an adventure, and, we think, something worth exploring. YMMV.  

Edited July 20, 2016 by SeaConquest

[Nan in Mass]

Your children will have a more unchanging living space and more parenting than many children have. Two parents full time is huge. Do they have cousins? You could emphasize that tie, if so. Cousins tend to stay friends despite not seeing each other often, in my experience. The friendship has a stable base that doesn,t depend on shared weekly activities like scouts. You may meet other rv families that want to maintain ties, too. Those can be friendships that can endure throughout your travels as well. Campgrounds are great places for kids. We spent a few months going visiting national parks. The first night out, our youngest disappeared (13 so not alarming). He showed up again full of steak and somemores and stories. He,d joined one family for dinner and then had somemores with two more, then an old man had showed him where the deer crossed the road each night and he saw a fawn! He kept asking why we hadn,t done this years ago.

 

Nan

[SeaConquest]

Your children will have a more unchanging living space and more parenting than many children have. Two parents full time is huge. Do they have cousins? You could emphasize that tie, if so. Cousins tend to stay friends despite not seeing each other often, in my experience. The friendship has a stable base that doesn,t depend on shared weekly activities like scouts. You may meet other rv families that want to maintain ties, too. Those can be friendships that can endure throughout your travels as well. Campgrounds are great places for kids. We spent a few months going visiting national parks. The first night out, our youngest disappeared (13 so not alarming). He showed up again full of steak and somemores and stories. He,d joined one family for dinner and then had somemores with two more, then an old man had showed him where the deer crossed the road each night and he saw a fawn! He kept asking why we hadn,t done this years ago.

 

Nan

 

Yes! This is exactly what we are hoping to find. We belong to the Full Time Families Facebook Group, which has over 12,000 members. They have rallies and other social events throughout the year. We will also be joining Thousand Trails and other campground membership programs that cater to kids.

 

Our friends from our charter did the same thing that we are considering -- bought a new rig and truck, stayed at Campland in SD for a few months until they finally launched full time. We went to visit them at Campland (literally, 5 minutes from where we already live), and my kids had a total blast that day. They had dodgeball, social events for kids, a skate park, pool, beach, concerts, dog park, etc. We had a great time.

 

They launched in May, and the kids are having a blast playing with foreign [to us] creatures (like lightning bugs) and seeing foreign [to us] things like thunderstorms. I could pass on the bugs and storms, personally, but I won't begrudge my children a mind of their own re these discoveries. ;) 

[Guest]

It's a great idea but I'd personally wait until the youngest is eight or so.

[Seasider]

SeaConquest you might want to put an update in your OP since some don't read entire threads before replying. With the decision made, it's time to share encouragement!

Edited July 20, 2016 by Seasider

[Guest]

Oh hon, of you're gonna buy a Cowboy Cadillac, it's gotta come from Texas!

[ktgrok]

Yes! This is exactly what we are hoping to find. We belong to the Full Time Families Facebook Group, which has over 12,000 members. They have rallies and other social events throughout the year. We will also be joining Thousand Trails and other campground membership programs that cater to kids.

 

Our friends from our charter did the same thing that we are considering -- bought a new rig and truck, stayed at Campland in SD for a few months until they finally launched full time. We went to visit them at Campland (literally, 5 minutes from where we already live), and my kids had a total blast that day. They had dodgeball, social events for kids, a skate park, pool, beach, concerts, dog park, etc. We had a great time.

 

They launched in May, and the kids are having a blast playing with foreign [to us] creatures (like lightning bugs) and seeing foreign [to us] things like thunderstorms. I could pass on the bugs and storms, personally, but I won't begrudge my children a mind of their own re these discoveries. ;)

 

 

Wait....there are places without thunderstorms? I had no idea! (Florida native)

SaveSave

[mommyoffive]

Wow!!!

 

So exciting.  I hope you keep us updated on your travels.   So you guys are going to the campground first and just get used to the life and they will start traveling next year?

 

Of course there are drawbacks as with everything.  But I think they pale in comparison to what you are going to get from this.  I was just reading dh an article about a family with 7 kids who made over a bus into an rv and have traveled in it for the last 6 years full time.  I thought he would think it was nuts, nope he loved the idea.  I really would like to do this sometime. hmmm

 

[Spryte]

So excited for you!

[luuknam]

it feels like a homeless unstable life with no real home to come home to

 

LOL. We lived in a 8' by 19' camper for a year when oldest was a baby while we were fixing up our house - a camper is just as much a home as any other structure. It's not a cardboard box under a bridge (and I bet even a cardboard box can feel like home if it's *your* cardboard box). And their life won't be unstable in the "how on earth will we afford our next meal" kind of way, nor in a "my parents have mental health and/or substance abuse issues so we never know if it's going to be a good or a bad day" kind of way either.

[SeaConquest]

Wait....there are places without thunderstorms? I had no idea! (Florida native)

SaveSave

 

Usually about once every couple of years; they get t-storms out in the deserts, though. I remember that, a few years ago, my oldest DS' *indoor* swimming lesson was cancelled because there was one lightning strike in our area a few hours before. True story.  :lol:  

[SeaConquest]

Wow!!!

 

So exciting.  I hope you keep us updated on your travels.   So you guys are going to the campground first and just get used to the life and they will start traveling next year?

 

Of course there are drawbacks as with everything.  But I think they pale in comparison to what you are going to get from this.  I was just reading dh an article about a family with 7 kids who made over a bus into an rv and have traveled in it for the last 6 years full time.  I thought he would think it was nuts, nope he loved the idea.  I really would like to do this sometime. hmmm

 

Yes. Campground down the street from us from September until January. We will see after that. :)

[theelfqueen]

I'm super excited for you... I just got my car back from a month in the shop and keep thinking about trading it in for something I can tow with -- so I can get a camper LOL

 

[SeaConquest]

LOL. We lived in a 8' by 19' camper for a year when oldest was a baby while we were fixing up our house - a camper is just as much a home as any other structure. It's not a cardboard box under a bridge (and I bet even a cardboard box can feel like home if it's *your* cardboard box). And their life won't be unstable in the "how on earth will we afford our next meal" kind of way, nor in a "my parents have mental health and/or substance abuse issues so we never know if it's going to be a good or a bad day" kind of way either.

 

If a 20,000 lb., 44 foot toy hauler seems unstable, I would hate for anyone to see our 41 foot sailboat. :crying: 

 

It's not like this is their first rodeo; they have lived in small spaces for a good chunk of their lives already. Not casting aspersions at anyone else's life choices, but, in our experience, we much prefer having time together in a small living space vs. time away from our kids in order to finance a larger mortgage. And, that is just the reality in our HCOL area. 

[SeaConquest]

Another update in the original post. :)

[ktgrok]

Ohwow!!!! I'm totally jealous now. That's a ton more room than I knew was possible. i'd totally live in that! So so cool! Your kids are going to have SO much fun!

[Guest]

Yea! It's almost time to go!

[MistyMountain]

I bet it will be a good adventure. You can always stay in San Diego for a few months at a time to keep up a few activities and the friendships then travel for the rest of the year.

[Seasider]

Well good grief you have sent me from pale green to pure emerald.

 

Seriously, I am happy for you! It's going to be a wonderful adventure.

[Maus]

I think that my DH is the explorer and wanderlust, and potentially my younger as well, though it is too soon to tell. My oldest and I crave more stability than them (not sure that is saying much, though), but we are both open to new experiences. I mean, I left for a month-long trip to the then USSR when I was 15 and for the Army when I was 17. I've spent many years living and working overseas, so, I think part of my more lukewarm feeling about long-term travel today is that I have already BTDT. I've lost a lot of that wanderlust over the years, and am much more introverted than I was in my youth, especially after having children. But, this is good advice, and I appreciate it, Nan.

 

 

Your children will have a more unchanging living space and more parenting than many children have. Two parents full time is huge. Do they have cousins? You could emphasize that tie, if so. Cousins tend to stay friends despite not seeing each other often, in my experience. The friendship has a stable base that doesn,t depend on shared weekly activities like scouts. You may meet other rv families that want to maintain ties, too. Those can be friendships that can endure throughout your travels as well. Campgrounds are great places for kids. We spent a few months going visiting national parks. The first night out, our youngest disappeared (13 so not alarming). He showed up again full of steak and somemores and stories. He,d joined one family for dinner and then had somemores with two more, then an old man had showed him where the deer crossed the road each night and he saw a fawn! He kept asking why we hadn,t done this years ago.

 

Nan

We've never been able to go full-time, financially, so I'm really, really jealous.  

 

We have taken extended trips in our 38' bunk model RV.  It gives you stability that can travel, because the kids go to bed in the same bed every night, no matter where you are.  You cook familiar meals, stuff is in the same place.  Once you are inside for the night, you are home.

 

Living quarters are a little cozy, but you can expand outside so easily.  We often eat ate on the picnic table provided at most sites.  We did a lot of school work out there, too.

 

We've had our rig since before our youngest was born, so we've dealt with diapers and potty training on the road.  Not really an issue.  You are towing a toilet back there, just a few feet away.  She grew up "helping" to set up.  At two, she loved cranking the handle to lower the rear stabilizer jacks.  That became her "job," and she'd get upset if someone else took it over.

 

Younger kids are adaptable.  They play easily with kids they just met at the campground, or at local parks. You are going to have so much fun!

[SeaConquest]

Another update in the original post.

[Nan in Mass]

Ooo how exciting! Are you completely mired down in todo lists?

 

Nan

[Liz CA]

Others have already contributed on the subject of what ages are good. Sounds like you may be ready to go now and it would seem to me that younger is perhaps better.

HOWEVER, I just want to commend you on being able to live in an RV for two years. I remember that you lived on a boat (which I have to admit sounds more fun to me than an RV because I love water) so you are used to making the most out of available space.

I think twenty years ago, I would have been more tempted than I am now. BUT, an RV is sure a different thing than plain old tent camping. The RV you bought looks spectacular. Even dh wanted to see what it was. I think even I would "go camping" with a nice RV but something much smaller for much shorter trips.

 

Have you sold the boat? You mentioned something about doing a European canal trip with a boat.

 

:hurray:

 

[mamakelly]

Hey! I read through your post and then looked at the pics and realized that I totally know you irl, lol. I'm Mason's mom from gymnastics and Dehesa :-D

[SeaConquest]

Ooo how exciting! Are you completely mired down in todo lists?

 

Nan

I should be! I'm actually more in complete denial that I'm moving in a week! :)

[SeaConquest]

Others have already contributed on the subject of what ages are good. Sounds like you may be ready to go now and it would seem to me that younger is perhaps better.

HOWEVER, I just want to commend you on being able to live in an RV for two years. I remember that you lived on a boat (which I have to admit sounds more fun to me than an RV because I love water) so you are used to making the most out of available space.

I think twenty years ago, I would have been more tempted than I am now. BUT, an RV is sure a different thing than plain old tent camping. The RV you bought looks spectacular. Even dh wanted to see what it was. I think even I would "go camping" with a nice RV but something much smaller for much shorter trips.

 

Have you sold the boat? You mentioned something about doing a European canal trip with a boat.

 

:hurray:

My DH will let me pry that damn boat from his cold, dead hands. ;) Boat trip is still on the table, albeit waaaaay on the back burner for now. Still don't know how I will take to the RV. I'm definitely the wild card in all of this. The kids are adaptable; their princess of a mother, not so much. ;)

[SeaConquest]

Hey! I read through your post and then looked at the pics and realized that I totally know you irl, lol. I'm Mason's mom from gymnastics and Dehesa :-D

Hi! Come visit us at Campland!