Nestof3 Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,428603,00.html Nebraska Dad Who Abandoned 9 Children Was Out of Work, 'Overwhelmed' Certainly I am not implying that money alone would be an adequate substitute for his wife. I am sure his overwhelmed state extended far beyond the monetary set-backs. But, it got me thinking about many families I know, particularly ones for have 8 - 10 children and are still bearing. What would they do, financially, if one of them died (referring to the parents here). We have chosen to have life insurance on my husband but not on me because he could manage child care for the boys. So, what about you? Would you care to share your experience. How much thought have you given to these matters? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have life insurance on both of us. My dh would stay home with the dc and homeschool them if I died, and since I have not worked much, SS would be inadequate. For that reason, I actually have more life insurance than he does. He has 500K and I have 600K. When and if our finances ever stabilize, I plan to increase both the amounts to 750K if possible, because I determined those amounts when we only had 4 children. Now we have 7, although one is an adult. ETA: I do think both partners should have life insurance, even if they don't have children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beansprouts Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I feel badly for the poor guy. I guess he really did fall apart. I hope he finds counseling. Yes, we have insurance on dh. It is enough to pay off the house and support us until the youngest is college-age. We figure by then I could get a job. There is no policy on me yet, but dh wants one for the future. There would be child-care and/or educational expenses if something happened to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 For yrs. dh had life ins. and ins. guy said I didnt need any, but just recently he add 250k. Wonder why, at least we moved into a house w/no oleanders, the old one had it. Just kidding. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
newbie Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Btw, w/as much as we are house poor, the insurance would just get me out of hawk. Then I am in trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lovedtodeath Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have a policy on DH. He would get plenty from my SS. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
neesek Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have life insurance on both us, although the face amount on my dh is higher. We carry it on me so that he could pay off the house and have some room to take an extended leave of absence to be with the kids. Also, keeping it on both of us increases the total amount that they would receive in case something happened to both of us and the burden of child raising fell upon a different family member. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Dh has a lot more than I do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 27, 2008 Author Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hhmmm. Now I am thinking perhaps we should get it on me too. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kokotg Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have it on both of us. We actually have a whole life insurance policy on DH that his grandfather bought for him when he was 3. And then we have a policy on both of us through his job (we have to buy for him in order for them to let us get it on me). I think the way it breaks down is we have tons of coverage on DH and probably not enough on me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 If something happens to dh, I would have to go back to work eventually. But, we would have college money for the girls, debt paid off (including much of the house), and a few years for me to re-fresh my skills and find a job. Breathing room to get the girls older and get a plan. If something happens to me, the girls would still need part child-care and private school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosy Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I voted no on both because we don't have it yet. We do plan to get it very soon, though. In the past when we've talked about it, DH hasn't felt like it was necessary to get a policy for me, but I think I'm going to insist that we get a small one--even though I don't work for pay, I do a lot to save our family money and he wouldn't be able to maintain our lifestyle without some help. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Hhmmm. Now I am thinking perhaps we should get it on me too. :) Yes, I think you should. People tend to think of things happening suddenly, like a car accident, and don't understand what could happen to a family's finances through a long terminal illness. This is what happened to my sister and bil. They did not have any children and he was diagnosed with melanoma. He was sick for a year before he died. Several months before, my sister was fired for taking too much time to take care of her dh. She worked part-time for a few weeks, but then he got to where he needed round the clock care and she was it. She could not work. Thankfully he died 2 weeks before the anniversary of when he quit working, so she got a 20K death benefit. That gave her money for the funeral and to take a couple months to grieve and heal before she absolutely had to find a job. So, all in the months leading up to a family member's death, you could have reduced or no income, medical bills, extra expenses (like eating out when loved one is in the hospital), etc, etc. And the one who's left behind would not want to go back to work the next day, KWIM, especially if grieving children were left behind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 27, 2008 Author Share Posted September 27, 2008 Thanks! I just got a quote from the same company my husband has (Banner Life), and I can get a $500,000 policy for ten years for only $14.44 a month. I was thinking ten years because my youngest would be almost out of school by then. But, for 20 years, it's only $21 a month. So, makes more sense to do the 20 year, huh? Monday -- this is what I'll do. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5kidsforME Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Dh has a large policy and I have a small one. Enough for him to have a little time to grieve, pay off some debt and help with child care. His would have me set for life if I invest wisely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have enough on dh so that I wouldn't have to work and continue to homeschool and enough on me so that dh could pay for christian school, a maid, cook and chauffer.:001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kate CA Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I think it depends entirely on what you want your children's future to look like if you should die. My dh and I want to continue to homeschool - not to have to jump ship should something truly life-altering happen to our children. Losing their mother would be enough to handle without having to go to public school. The cost of private school is very high too. What about after school care, and funeral arrangements--these costs can be astronomical. There are many reasons for life insurance. To us it is a cushion to help with the tragedy that would be the loss of a parent (or parents). If we both go the family that would raise our children would need the money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ma23peas Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We're committed to educating our children...we have term life on both of us until we're 65...all kids will be out of the house and in their 30's by then...so we should be safe...if one of us dies, there's plenty for them to quit their job and finish the job of schooling...and if both of us dies, we have faith God will use the money to carry them through! Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Life insurance on both of us, as I'm the main wage earner. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
asta Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We hadn't even had our son when an insurance salesman got ahold of us. I think I might have been pregnant. He talked us into "whole life" insurance with guaranteed insurability (that means we were able to increase it at set intervals with no physical). He pointed out the thing about how we both needed it because I was going to be the primary care giver, and if I died, hubby would have to hire someone ($$$) to take my place while he was at work. It wasn't a big policy, and I didn't think much about it. Then I had the baby and got REALLY sick. I stumbled from one weird thing to another, paying my premiums, and increasing it when they let me... and then I got diagnosed with epilepsy (a genetic type). I am now uninsurable for life insurance at any reasonable rate. If I hadn't bought that insurance way back when I was a doe-eyed pregnant young woman, I wouldn't have that peace of mind, as the type of epilepsy I have has a high mortality rate. I would be kicking myself. Get insurance - all of you - even if it's just guaranteed renewable term insurance. I can tell you first hand that you never know what life is going to throw at you - no one in my family has this disease, I'm the first. asta Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I don't believe he had life insurance for her, though there was some kind of life insurance on her newish van so that it was paid off in full. We do have life insurance on me. It's not because DH couldn't afford child care - he could, God willing that his job remain stable. But we know from his prior experience how those uncovered medical procedures can add up. I would want my husband to be able to easily pay them all off. I would want him to feel free to travel to see relatives, to send the boys to private school - I would want it to not be a struggle for him. And when we are dealing with end of life care and treatments, I would like not to have to think about "how will we pay for this?" if we choose experimental treatments or live in help. Wasn't that story out of Nebraska just the saddest? I can't even imagine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 27, 2008 Author Share Posted September 27, 2008 Wasn't that story out of Nebraska just the saddest? I can't even imagine. I know. I was hoping to see some sort of charity fund thing set up on the news website where people could help out. I am also glad that I started this thread because it got me thinking more about life insurance on myself. I'm planning to act on Monday. The article also got me concerned about our friends who have such large families and have no life insurance. I truly feel concerned for them, because I know this man wasn't expecting his wife to die. No one does when they're young. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraceyS/FL Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 (edited) I voted none - but i think DH has some thru work. IT's not the plan to NOT have it, there just happens to not be the extra money right now to get it :( ETA: I should add that our house is paid for, and the SS money i'd get a month should actual support us. Not that i'm actually counting on being able to collect that - but for right now it's a small comfort. Edited September 27, 2008 by TraceyS/FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 I know. I was hoping to see some sort of charity fund thing set up on the news website where people could help out. I am also glad that I started this thread because it got me thinking more about life insurance on myself. I'm planning to act on Monday. The article also got me concerned about our friends who have such large families and have no life insurance. I truly feel concerned for them, because I know this man wasn't expecting his wife to die. No one does when they're young. Typically adding a healthy woman to a term life insurance policy when her husband is insuranced isn't THAT expensive. I can't remember what it added to our life insurance policy, but I was surprised at the time that it wasn't more. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quiver0f10 Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have insurance on both of us. If something happened to me, my DH would either stay home or hire full time help. Either way he would continue to home school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nestof3 Posted September 27, 2008 Author Share Posted September 27, 2008 Typically adding a healthy woman to a term life insurance policy when her husband is insuranced isn't THAT expensive. I can't remember what it added to our life insurance policy, but I was surprised at the time that it wasn't more. I used an online quote system last night with our life insurance company, Banner Life, and I was quoted $21 a month for a $500,000 20-year policy. A 10-year policy would be $14.44. Unless you have a health issue that would raise the rate, it seems life insurance is very affordable. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 Life insurance is pretty affordable, and getting it when you're young and healthy, even if you don't really have the money, is vital! That is why my sister and bil did not have life insurance - they didn't have a lot of money, and then when they got to be in their mid-thirties, it was much more expensive, so they didn't get it. I could not sleep at night if we didn't have it. I don't know what either one of us would do if the other died and we had no life insurance, especially if I were the one who died. At this point, he couldn't even put them in school (not that he would want to), because we have 3 children below school age! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 not really. we have a VERY teeny amount through where my dh works. basicly enough that we can buy some pine boxes. certainly not as much as we'd like. we simply cannot afford it. period. and really at the rate some of these companies are going... I don't know that I'd trust my investment to be there when I needed it anyways. if we could afford it, we'd get a LOT. You know though... about that father of 9... This wasn't that unusual during the great depression... (I know we're not in a depression yet!) The kids weren't abused or even really unwanted.... The parent(s) just reached a point where they felt their kid(s) would be better off at the orphanage. (guaranteed food, shelter, ect...) personally I can't even imagine reaching such a point. but that doesn't mean I can't have compassion for someone else who has. it's got to be awful to be so low without hope and everyone is talking about this father of 9, but the same state is saying they are getting lots of other kids too, the same day the 9 dc were left, 2 teen boys age 13 and 15 were abondoned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny in Atl Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We should, but we don't. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne Rittenhouse Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 And we are getting older, and the policies are expensive, but...... and we've had near disaster happen......and I lived to talk about it so far..... If my dh dies, I need to have living expenses for the time it takes to retrain for a new job as well as childcare and household help until my son graduates from highschool. If I die, my husband needs a housekeeper/aupair until our son graduates from highschool. So the policy is meant to pay her wages. If we both die, my son will need financial support to live and go to school while staying with relatives and much of his college education is paid for with the policies. There is no fooling around with not having policies, it's financial peace of mind. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SapphireStitch Posted September 27, 2008 Share Posted September 27, 2008 We have life insurance on DH only. We haven't bought any for me because I have health problems that would make it either very hard to get or too expensive to afford. Having said that, it has been a few years since we checked prices, so I should perhaps look again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgilli3 Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 We have it on both of us - the plan is that the surviving partner would stay home with the kids. ( if they are still under 30...lol) :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laylamcb Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 We've got insurance on both of us. The main reason for covering me is that DH works 24-hour shifts, so aside from the schooling issue, he'd HAVE to hire a live-in caregiver if I died. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 We have life insurance on both of us, but not nearly as much as we ought to have. It's enough to pay off the house, pay for the funeral, and have a little left over. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet in Toronto Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 We have a lot of insurance...enough to replace DH's income should he go first, and enough to cover full-time help should I go. As our children get older, we will likely downsize...one son will be heading off to college next year and the other one starts high school. Once they're both out of the house (5 years) we'll likely significantly downsize our insurance (or at the end of the term of the plan). College is already saved for, and we're planning to downsize our house (or, or mortgage, at least) once the boys are gone. Janet Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PiCO Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 So, what about you? Would you care to share your experience. How much thought have you given to these matters? There's no "other" choice on your poll! My answer would be that life insurance needs change as lives change. We had no life insurance when dh was alive, because we had plenty of investments and a good business that can run itself pretty well. Also, social security is pretty significant for the kids (until they are 18.) I am now a widow, and I have term life insurance for 15 years- until my dds are grown up and through with college, and the mortgage will be pretty much paid off. That way my dds are taken care of between my death and when the estate is settled. There won't have to be a fire sale of the business and assets. After 15 years, I will no longer have life insurance. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bee Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 We have a joint policy that would cover paying for a funeral,pay off all debt and leave a little (maybe half of the money) left over.I have another policy through work which would allow dh and the children to be ok (financially) without me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PinkInTheBlue Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 Hhmmm. Now I am thinking perhaps we should get it on me too. :) Yes, you most definitely should! That is said in my most sincere but strongly opinionated voice. :) It wouldn't be expensive to at least have enough to give everyone time and pay for funeral expenses. My story is the same as everyone else on here. My husband and I both have a lot of life insurance. We work our business together but I don't do nearly as much in it because I teach. If something happens to him, he needs enough for someone to clean the house a few times a week and a qualified tutor. I have to have enough for someone to clean the house a few times a week and allow me to continue homeschooling while I pick up the slack on our business. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sharon H in IL Posted September 28, 2008 Share Posted September 28, 2008 I think it really depends on the ages of your children. When the kids were little, we had 250K on me, so DH could hire a live-in nanny and not put the boys in day care. Now that they're older, the would attend school, and we just dropped the life insurance on me. DH's income could cover a leave of absence, etc. We carry a lot of insurance on his life, as well as the much more likely scenario of his long-term disability. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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