Were you scared of birth the 2nd time around?

[PeterPan]

I'm surprised to myself how nervous I am in some respects. I had a fine birth with dd 9 years ago, and I know I forgot anything unpleasant quickly enough. But somehow I'm just not as naive as I was then. Of course I didn't have water to labor in like I will this time, and that should make a HUGE difference. I don't know, I think it's just that I know what's going to happen. Even the sheer mechanics of it blow my mind. Anyone wanna commiserate while I sit here waiting for it to happen? :)

[ma23peas]

Ahhh, just blame it on hormones...I'm sure I had a little trepidation with each birth, but I was comforted by the fact that billions of ladies have done this before me...and you've got a 9 year old who will share this with you this time, what a precious thing to have!! All of my children were babies when I was having babies (had 3 in 4 years)..so my main thought was getting home as quickly as possible to be with them...my last one was born at 10:30 at night and I was home by 9 in the morning! :) My mother about had a fit (she had flown in to watch my other two children while dh and I had the third)...the ladies of the 50's and 60's were used to staying in there for over a week each time to 'recover'...puhlease...how can you recover when they come in every hour to take your vitals? :) I also reminded myself that I was lucky to not have to drop a baby in the cotton fields like my grandmother did! :)

 

Tara

[Mx5]

I'm surprised to myself how nervous I am in some respects. I had a fine birth with dd 9 years ago, and I know I forgot anything unpleasant quickly enough. But somehow I'm just not as naive as I was then. Of course I didn't have water to labor in like I will this time, and that should make a HUGE difference. I don't know, I think it's just that I know what's going to happen. Even the sheer mechanics of it blow my mind. Anyone wanna commiserate while I sit here waiting for it to happen? :)

 

It makes perfect sense to me that you'd be scared of labor. It is hard work, no matter how you do it. I think once we've had a baby, we truly realize how things can go, although none of my 5 labors were similar to each other.

 

Just think, though, you get to go home from the hospital with the PRIZE! :)

[Sheila in OK]

Yes, I was definitely more scared the 2nd time around! I always joked that I dreaded labor the first time because I didn't know what to expect, and dreaded it the 2nd time because I DID know what to expect! LOL

 

FWIW, my 2nd labor was easier and quicker than my first.

[Marie in Oh]

and I am really dreadeing it this time around. Hopefully 7th time will be a charm. Hugs to you.

[Stacia]

No... because my first labor was so terrible. (I'll spare you the details.) Basically, the second time around could have been horrendous & it still would have been better. As I expected, it was just so much easier/better the second time around! :001_smile:

[PeterPan]

Mx5, that's a consoling thought that none of them are the same. I'll have to chew on that! Even though it wasn't "bad", I wouldn't exactly want to re-live that first birth either. So you're right, I won't have to. I only have to live this one. :)

 

Tara, you know, I've been thinking about those billions of women doing this for all those centuries, and I'm still wondering if we get duped. I guess I'll only know afterward, lol.

 

I got the duck quilt done (well mostly, except for sewing the back side of the binding and maybe a fuzz more quilting), so now I've started a dress for dd. This waiting thing is killing me! I figure if I finish the dresses, I'll make a mei tai using the patterns y'all linked me to in my baby carrier thread. I have more leftover fabric from the quilt, baby bag, etc., so it would be no problem to do that too. Then I'd totally coordinate, haha... Only a pregnant woman with one, more or less independent, 9 yo could have time to do so much else and sit around and stew... :)

[Osmosis Mom]

and it ended up literally being a painless affair getting the cutie out. The process, though, was slightly not nice due to me being scared. But the climax was by far the high light of my life. I have never experienced anything stronger, more beautiful and gorgeous than actually delivering this child. I felt *born to it*(but a obviously took me a few tries to get to that point, LOL!).

[PeterPan]

Well it hadn't occurred to me this one could actually be easier or better! Well that IS a consoling thought!!!

[keptwoman]

Yes, I was definitely more scared the 2nd time around! I always joked that I dreaded labor the first time because I didn't know what to expect, and dreaded it the 2nd time because I DID know what to expect! LOL

 

FWIW, my 2nd labor was easier and quicker than my first.

Me too exactly that LOL.

 

And the third time around I wasn't as scared as I figured I'd done it twice before and remained intact so it was likely to be OK.

[Osmosis Mom]

I have heard of women having painless, wonderful deliveries, but honestly never believed them. I am a drug-free person btw; haven't taken any drugs during my vaginal deliveries. I had one child (the one who has a brithday this week!) whose labor was totally painless and then I got this child whose actual delivery was out of this world.

 

I should add, however, just to be sort of truthful, that I had been given some painkiller as a shot in the arm 2+ hours earlier (so suppsoedly its effect had completely waned since it only lasts 2 hours). This shot did make me relax during my annoying contractions and gave me a mental boost. I was not even fully dilated when I began pushing and used the bedrail as a support with my behind to the room. Within a couple of minutes in this position I felt the baby descend in three stages and I was ready to push him out when dh called out for alarm (he didn't want to catch the bay mid-air and the doctor was in the other end of the room). I had to stop, basically drop and roll before Mr. Baby came flying out (almost literally!). Hehe. It was a fun last five minutes!

 

Take it easy, Elizabeth. As they say, remember your breathing.

[Colleen in NS]

I'm surprised to myself how nervous I am in some respects. I had a fine birth with dd 9 years ago, and I know I forgot anything unpleasant quickly enough. But somehow I'm just not as naive as I was then. Of course I didn't have water to labor in like I will this time, and that should make a HUGE difference. I don't know, I think it's just that I know what's going to happen. Even the sheer mechanics of it blow my mind. Anyone wanna commiserate while I sit here waiting for it to happen? :)

 

I sure was, because I had a difficult experience the first time (second time, too). But I made it through, with lots more help the 2nd time around. You just never know how it's going to go.

 

Now, what you need to do, in between your sewing projects, is to just keep refreshing board pages and answering questions and stuff, to keep your mind on other things! LOL

 

Hope things go well for you!

[mcconnellboys]

Good thoughts to you, my friend! I was more nervous the second time, but that pregnancy was more high risk than the first for a number of reasons, so I had reason to be more nervous. I've heard many, many wonderful things about water births!

[Jane Elliot]

By the 12th, I was practically out of my mind with fear. Dh's unprofessional theory is that you remember about 10% each time, so by the last one, I remembered 120%?? I don't know what to tell you. It was a huge help for me just to hear I wasn't the only one for whom it got scarier each time.

[EKS]

With the first I had a 4th degree tear, so, yes, I was more nervous. But with the second I only had a 3rd degree tear and, let me tell you, there is a huge difference between the two. I don't know why they gloss over them in the childbirth books and lump them together.

 

Probably not what you wanted to hear about. But I have to say, my worry about the second one was all for nothing; it was an excellent experience (as much as such a thing can be).

[prairiegirl]

I was scared for every birth. More so for the third one as my ds (the second one) was 10 lbs. at birth. I was terrified that the next one was going to be the same weight or heavier. I was scared for nothing. She only weighed 9lbs. 2 oz. A walk in the park compared to the time before. :lol:

[Jami]

I don't remember being frightened with #2 or #3. But this time I am a little more nervous. This is my first time working with a midwife, in a birth center, so I won't have the epidural option available at all (not that it worked with #2 anyway). #3 was a c-section and the recovery was very, very hard for me, which is why we've made some different choices this time. But that experience still weighs on me and I do feel a little fearful this time around. :001_smile:

[Murphy101]

heck yeah!

In fact, I'm a bit scared of the birth the 9th time around!

 

I'm thrilled to be pregnant, despite the hypermesis.

I'm thrilled to have the baby, despite the traditional lack of sleep, sore boobs, and exploding poop.

It's the brief time between the two phases that gives me cold sweats.:scared::001_unsure:

 

Hey maybe we all need this shirt?:D

[Peri]

I think that it doesn't matter how many children you have, no matter what, you get nervous anyways. I did with all three of mine even after I had such an easy birth with the second, I was nervous with the third. I just try to keep in mind that evedn though it will hurt, that pain will come to an end and I will be very happy at the end of it, not just because the pain is over, but because I will have another precious one to hold. And I never get tired of holding them either :)

[Raders Fan]

I honestly never worried about it a bit (I'm a six-timer). For me, the labor and delivery was always the easiest part of being pregnant. Of course, I believe in epidurals. I really love them. Of course, after the somewhat scary experience with dc#3 (dh was worried, I felt great), dh insisted that all future anesthesiologists be at least as old as we were.

 

For me, the whole nine months prior was the hard part.

[LisaKinVA]

I dread it each time... not because of the pain (that's never been an issue), it's not being 100% sure I'm in labor (uncertainty), and the fear of figuring it out too late to get to the midwife, or the midwife to get to me...

 

This time, I also have weather on top of DC traffic playing into that fear... so you're not alone!

[Barb_]

Yes! I'm scared silly and I'm so glad you posted this. Do you think age maybe has something to do with it? I wasn't scared at all (well, that I remember) of birth in my 20's, but was a little nervous about my 4th when I was 30. By my 5th I completely *dreaded* giving birth toward the end and I honestly think that made the labor harder than it needed to be. When I was in labor with my 6th, I made my husband call the hospital and ask if they had an an anesthesiologist on staff because I'd chickened out of my homebirth. While he was on the phone with both the hospital (house phone) and the midwife (on his cell) I pushed out the baby's head. I'm mostly scared I'm going to panic again. I almost wish I was going to have a hospital birth with the epidural option. But not really. What I really wish is that I could have my homebirth *with* and epidural, but alas...choices must be made.

 

The hard part was, dh didn't have any inkling how I felt this time around. He was really blase about the whole thing because he figured I must be pretty laid back by now. But I'm not. I had to have a slightly hysterical crying fit to convince him how terrified I was. But now that he gets it and is on board, I feel some better. I can't tell you how relieved I am that Luanne was a basket case with #12. I thought I was just neurotic.

 

~~~Happy birthing vibes~~~

 

Barb <--overdue with you

[PeterPan]

Y'all are such a terrific comfort, and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one! Thanks for sharing your stories!! :)

[Lizzie in Ma]

I hope the water soothes you. I did that for my first dd and after 36 hours I was just in labor and wet. :D It did feel good for awhile though.

No matter what we go through, how it all matters not when we hold that precious gift in our arms. Hang in there!:grouphug:

[Another Lynn]

I honestly never worried about it a bit (I'm a six-timer). For me, the labor and delivery was always the easiest part of being pregnant. Of course, I believe in epidurals. I really love them. Of course, after the somewhat scary experience with dc#3 (dh was worried, I felt great), dh insisted that all future anesthesiologists be at least as old as we were.

 

For me, the whole nine months prior was the hard part.

 

:iagree:

 

I dread it each time... not because of the pain (that's never been an issue), it's not being 100% sure I'm in labor (uncertainty), and the fear of figuring it out too late to get to the midwife, or the midwife to get to me...

 

This time, I also have weather on top of DC traffic playing into that fear... so you're not alone!

 

:iagree:

 

The only time I didn't have an epidural was with my 3rd dc (dd) because she was born 15 min. after I got to the hospital. With my 4th dc we induced at 38 weeks (well, I was 5 cm!!!). With my 5th we went to the hospital to induce 3 days overdue and found I was 5cm and contractions 10 min. apart. So, we just sped things up a bit. The day we went in I was a nervous wreck feeling we "needed" to be having the baby, but not really being in labor. Maybe my body was trying to tell me labor was starting? Yeah, my biggest fear was if I would know I was in labor soon enough to make it to the hospital.

 

Now that your due date is so close, I wonder every day if you've had the baby or not. Hope it is soon!!!

[Quiver0f10]

Yes! Each baby brings more fear and worry, but the labors have been easier since then and delivery is a breeze in comparision. :grouphug: ALmost over!

[PariSarah]

. . . but the weight of the things that could go wrong was much, much heavier. I was just a kid myself, in many ways, when I had my first. I didn't know enough to be scared. When you're pregnant with your first, you love the unborn baby so . . . I don't know, innocently? Sweetly? It's not the same as when you're already a mama. You have that fierce, terrible mama-love instead of that sweet, tender I'm-gonna-be-a-mama-love. And so you have more to be afraid of.

 

Different fears, too. The first time, I was only vaguely scared of what could go wrong, and mostly scared that I was about to become a mom. The second time, I was really worried about all the things that could go wrong. What would happen to Isaac if such-and-such happened? How could I live through it if such-and-such happened? But the fear that I wouldn't know what to do with the little squirming package I had to take home with me--that wasn't there at all. (Heh. Little did I know!)

 

You'll be great! Nine years, eh? Well, you've forgotten some things, I dare say. I sure did. :D

 

But you'll muddle through just fine. :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Quiver0f10]

When I was in labor with my 6th, I made my husband call the hospital and ask if they had an an anesthesiologist on staff because I'd chickened out of my homebirth.

 

I did the same thing with my last baby! Thank goodness DH and the MW were level headed and able to talk me down. :)

[Kalypso]

I am due in 2 weeks with #6 and I will have to admit I am scared every time, too. None of my births have been as hard as the first, but I tend to worry a lot about what could go wrong. So, I too, understand exactly how you are feeling.

[Mom0012]

Yes, I was very nervous the 2nd time around. But the delivery was so much easier and better than with my first that when I came home from the hospital I was walking on air. I kept thinking, "I could do that again!" and had planned on having another soon because it was so easy. I never did have another but it wasn't because of the labor.

 

Lisa

[CactusPair]

:grouphug:OhEliz.:grouphug:

 

i wasn't scared of actual birth with #2, but what they might do to me at the hospital (bad experience with #1). I was terrified of the hospital! #2 had other plans and birthed herself at home before i could get to the door:D

 

if i'm lucky enough to have a #3, i'd be scared, terrified of another unplanned homebirth!:D

 

keeping you in thoughts and sending peace and strength your way!

[Karen sn]

Oh yes! Scared to death the second time around. And like you I did water birth the 2nd time around. But for me the 2nd time around was FAST! (Nipple stimulation kicks in the oxytocin and it's alot of fun!).

 

My boyfriend and I just excused ourselves to the bedroom and we played for a while and we talked and he made me laugh - which I haven't done since my horse died - and laughing opens up the cervix. It was a beautiful time alone in our room and I will never forget the sun and the breeze and the tall grass blowing outside our bedroom window.

 

When it really kicked in I was so scared I wouldn't let him be away from me at all. I even needed him in the bathroom in case I had a contraction. I just needed to look into his face when I was breathing through the waves of contractions. And then later I just needed to hold his hand.

 

Like I pm'd you before - my kids are 11 years apart. The 1st labor was LOOOOOONG - the 2nd was so fast I couldn't almost take it, no time to breath through contractions. But I like fast labor over long!!!!

 

Just remember to breathe. Your body WILL remember what to do and you will be fine. Just remember the nipple stimulation if you feel the labor is slow and you want to kick it up a notch. 15 minutes on 15 minutes off etc....

[Kanga]

I have worried about each delivery, but I am a prepare for the worst, hope for the best type of person. I think it a little worse with each baby because there is more to worry about besides myself and the baby; there are the other children! However, once labor actually starts I am very calm and focused. My second delivery was much faster and easier than my first - I will pray that your second is as well!

[Mommy22alyns]

My two deliveries were completely different, so there's really no use comparing them. I had a necessary, scheduled C-section with my second DD and I was scared to death - I really didn't want the C, but I knew it was the only way.