SparklyUnicorn Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I was trying to figure out the next book to read for my older son. So DH overheard us talking about which book to read next. So he recommended various books. I looked them all up and not one of them was above a 5th grade reading level. I don't get too hung up on that detail, but DS is almost 14 and has been reading well past his grade level for years. So fifth would possibly be a bit babyish. He's nearly in 9th grade. I don't know what to make of that. I said something to DH about it, but he just seems to have no sense for this stuff at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Mine doesn't. Well, didn't. His brain finally caught up since it is pretty obvious that he's living with 4 grown women now..lol. But yeah. They were stuck at 8 or 9 in his head forever. I remember when we moved once and he was telling our new neighbor about our kids. "We've got three. The oldest is 12 and the twins are 9" They were 15 and 11...lol. 8 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Would your dh have a good sense for reading levels in English? 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SparklyUnicorn Posted November 19, 2015 Author Share Posted November 19, 2015 Would your dh have a good sense for reading levels in English? Hm..maybe not. Although the books he mentioned were books he read as a kid and all were books that were translated from German to English or the other way around. It could be he wasn't thinking about that at all and just recalling books he liked as a kid. 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manicmum81 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 My DH forgets how old our children are all the time but I make allowances since we do have 8 of them :laugh: 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I think my husband has a better sense of our kids ages than I do most of the time. When it comes to school stuff, I have the better sense. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jackie Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 I agree it may be the reading levels more than the age of the kids. I regularly have to look up what age range a book is "meant for", even books that I loved myself as a kid. I often didn't read them at typical ages myself and sometimes just have no recollection of when I read them. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathmarm Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Your husband probably listed books that he'd enjoyed as a kid. Or were popular during his time as a child, unless he is well versed in reading levels. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EKS Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 My husband still refers to himself in the third person when talking to our almost 14yo. It's really weird. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chrysalis Academy Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 My dh is having a hard time adjusting his expectations and parenting style to the girls's ages and level of development. It's actually kind of an issue. I need to sit down and have a heart to heart with him. He's becoming increasingly negative/the parent of No and I don't want to see it have a negative effect on his relationship with the girls. It's so much easier for me, I'm with them all day every day and can appreciate the changes, nuances, what they are ready for. He isn't, so he hasn't had the chance to see the need for adjustment in the same way. Plus, he's a guy. Way more black-and-white thinker. And he tends to think his way is right. What's a little disturbing is that more and more often I feel like taking the girls's side against one of his pronouncements, where in the past we have always been a united front. I suspect if I don't deal with this head-on, it will affect our relationship, not just theirs. But I'm shirking the conversation, for sure. I'm not sure quite how to address it in a way that will help him be open to hearing. I don't want to either be hurtful, or make him defensive and less open to hearing it. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 It's normal. I have one in college and one in the last two years of high school, and it still happens. He refers to them by cute pet names that I'm sure grate their teenage souls, but they just laugh it off. He suggests books and gifts that won't go over either, and I just suggest things that are more appropriate. He fretted about sending the younger one off on a field trip with other teens driven by a father he had never met. I've known the mom for a decade, and I've known all of the teens ever since they were little. It was low risk in my book. As long as they care and are involved, mistakes are OK. Mine is low-key thankfully and trusts my judgment, so we keep it going. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MeaganS Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Not the same, but one time we moved and for some reason my mom couldn't be there to register us all for school (6 of us) so my dad did it. For the 3 years we lived there, the school had all our middle names switched and our birthday months and days were mixed up. At least we were in the correct grades! 😠4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Strawberry Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 Yeah, D is kind of clueless on that kind of thing, but I ran into the 5th grade reading level problem. According to my librarian, juvenile books pretty much stop at fifth grade. Next is YA. Sagg could easily read at a seventh grade level, but there were no books aimed at him. He wasn't yet ready for or interested in YA much less adult books. It's a weird void. He still reads juvenile fiction. It hasn't been challenging for a long time. He sometimes complains, but we just call it might reading and let it go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lllll Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) nm Edited December 2, 2015 by ^ 022 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Curlymom Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 If your DH isn't immersed in the everyday education of your kids, I wouldn't worry about it. I agree with another poster that he might have been suggesting books that he enjoyed as a kid. And possibly it just slipped his notice what reading level your child is at. My husband isn't really a reader, so I really can't imagine him choosing an appropriate book for even my 10 year old. He wouldn't know where to start. I'm the educator in our home, so I'm very well aware of my kids' levels in reading and everything. I keep my husband well informed about what we do, but because he's not immersed in the day to day education, he doesn't always fully know where we are. When he does make suggestions, some of what he off-handedly suggests usually isn't on their level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tm919 Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) Yeah, my husband is generally clueless. When younger DD (who had just turned 4 the month before) wrote on a drawing of herself at the local gymnastics place, with no help, "I love ginasticks," he told me in all seriousness, "You really need to work on her spelling, it's really bad." Sometimes I honestly wonder if he's interacted with children before ours, at all. Edited November 19, 2015 by tm919 9 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted November 19, 2015 Share Posted November 19, 2015 (edited) No, both my ex-husband and current partner are well aware of the kids ages and treat them as such. Book recommendations might be iffy after work when we are tired, regardless, but I would say both dad and step-dad are on top of general child development... As on top of anything anyway. Eta: they are as on top of it as I am. Last part was not meant to sound dismissive. Edited November 19, 2015 by Tsuga Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 Dd's father will still treat her like a toddler at times. I think it runs in their family. His parents treated him like he was 12 until he had his own kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aurelia Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 (edited) My DH seems to have the opposite problem than most here. As an example, for the last couple of years at Christmas, I've mentioned getting DD toys she asked for (like an AG doll, and she was 9-10) and DH was like "Isn't she too old for that?" I had to tell him no, and remind him that she was still elementary-school-aged. He's always doing stuff like that. MIL, on the other hand, still refers to herself in the third person with DD, even though they are about the same height and DD has asked her to stop. Edited November 20, 2015 by Aurelia 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lollie010 Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 A little different than your situation, but a fun example of clueless dad. DH had to take one of the kiddos to the doctor recently. I told him when and where. He said "ok, text me." I responded "text what? The when and where?" He said "no. I've got that. Just text the general info like full name, date of birth, home address." For real! I promise I'm not lying. 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tsuga Posted November 20, 2015 Share Posted November 20, 2015 My DH seems to have the opposite problem than most here. As an example, for the last couple of years at Christmas, I've mentioned getting DD toys she asked for (like an AG doll, and she was 9-10) and DH was like "Isn't she too old for that?" I had to tell him no, and remind him that she was still elementary-school-aged. He's always doing stuff like that. Liking for the 9 year old girl who still loves dollies. I wouldn't let mine have one until she was 7 because it's an expensive toy to give to a child without self-control. I'm so happy that she still plays with her dolly. :001_wub: We are very fortunate that they can keep their sweet girlhood at least while they are in primary school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Squawky Acres Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Oh yes. DH has high expectations coupled with a vague concept of what is developmentally appropriate. For years, he kept trying to rid the house of "silly children's books." Not twaddle like "Fairy Sparkle Rainbow Princess Goes to School," but Eric Carle and Dr. Seuss. He tried to read Julius Caesar to the 5 and 6-year-olds for their bedtime story. He also had concerns about our 5-year-old's spelling . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RootAnn Posted November 21, 2015 Share Posted November 21, 2015 Mine is really on top of things, but always gets really excited when he thinks one of the kids might be nearing maturity level to read some of his favorite books from his 'childhood.' They are stuff like The Forgotten Door or The Bridge over the River Kwai. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted November 22, 2015 Share Posted November 22, 2015 Oh yes. DH has high expectations coupled with a vague concept of what is developmentally appropriate. For years, he kept trying to rid the house of "silly children's books." Not twaddle like "Fairy Sparkle Rainbow Princess Goes to School," but Eric Carle and Dr. Seuss. He tried to read Julius Caesar to the 5 and 6-year-olds for their bedtime story. He also had concerns about our 5-year-old's spelling . . . This is mine. The Christmas when our oldest had just turned six and was reading at a second grade level, DH gave him Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" to read. When I expressed that I didn't think that was developmentally appropriate, he pulled out "Where the Red Fern Grows" instead. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Momling Posted November 23, 2015 Share Posted November 23, 2015 It's not just a male problem. My wife just today didn't know which grade our younger daughter was in and had to ask. Then when she saw her doing some silly (but fun) project for her class at school, went on a long tirade about what she had studied in Poland at that age, as if it was our daughter's fault that the local middle school wasn't teaching the sixth graders biology, chemistry and physics plus Russian and German... 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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