LMCme Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I'm positive I'm not the only mom in this situation, so I figured I'd see how everyone else dealt with or is dealing with this problem: all the kids my son's age (4yo) have disappeared from the playground. And this is right at the age when his desire (and ability) to engage in complex play is taking off. They've also disappeared from the preschool playtime at the library (all toddlers). So I started looking for homeschool coops, but they all seem made for older kids... obviously. I mean, how much homeschooling is a 4 year old doing? We spend about 30 minutes per day on "school" (just phonics and math). I tell people we're homeschooling mainly so they stop asking when I'm sending him to preschool. But even when he's older, the coops in our area that I can find are all pretty intense, school like affairs at least one full day per week, and some of them seem like an actual school -- in one they go to school three days per week, wear uniforms and everything. Is there something I'm missing? Any ideas? LMC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Our Y has kids of all ages. The kid's play area allows kids from babies to age 10 (3 and under are in a quieter area with age appropriate toys). 3 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommysanders Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I have run into that as well. Here in Belgium kids are sent to school very young (2.5 or 3). My son is 4.5, and here is what we are doing for interaction with kids his age. 1. I am very purposefully setting up play dates after school with the kids his age. I ask the mom if she wants to meet at a playground when she picks her kid up from school. Usually they are all for it. During winter I need to think of some things to do in my house so I can have his friends over. I am starting to make notes on my phone of which days certain moms/kids are available after school. 2. I signed him up for swim lessons at the same place some of his friends go. They don't actually interact much during the lesson, but I wanted him to have swim lessons anyway. At least he sees them briefly, and I mingle with the parents which opens up other doors. 3. We attend a church here that has Sunday school. So at a minimum he sees a handful of kids roughly his age each week. 4. I am considering putting him into a My Gym (I think that's what it's called?) it's an indoor activity time grouped by age. I know it'll be evening hours, but that's fine if he can get energy out AND be with other kids at the same time. It's definitely an effort on my part. But after spending a year in Italy we realized he very rarely saw any kids his age, and we are trying hard to fix that. I should also mention that I'm in a mommy play group where the moms and toddlers meet up regularly. Usually the other moms bring toddlers while their older kids are in school, but I bring both of my kids. This is another way for me to mingle with the other moms and stay in the loop of what's going on and scheduling play dates etc. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Alice Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Yes, it is a problem. I found that to be the hardest age, from about 4-6 when everyone my oldest's age was in school but we couldn't do the homeschool activities yet. I organized my own "homeschool preschool" with another Mom. The first year it was just the two kids, the next year we had a couple of others. We met once a week and took turns doing a topic. We did things like leaves, apples, pumpkins, flowers, insects, etc. We'd read a few books, did a craft or a science experiment and played a game and then just have playtime. We could have just gotten together to play and we did a lot of that too but the kids liked having something that was a little more formal or organized. I think they felt "big kiddish". I also found I just had to be really proactive about meeting people places or having kids over. As a natural introvert, it wasn't easy, but any time we planned a trip to a nature center or park or something I would send out emails to people I knew from church or the neighborhood to see if anyone wanted to come. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Kids disappear from the playgrounds at preschool age or earlier in my area. We had to pay for recreational gym classes and parents night outs for our kids to have other kids to play with. Playdates are hard because kids are in full day school if parents are working or in afterschool activities if there is a stay at home parent. We have a few WAHDs who does chauffeur duty for all afterschool activities. If we want to find kids at the playgrounds/parks, the best timing is 5:30pm to 7pm in our area because the dads or grandparents are watching the kids while moms are cooking dinner. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Yep. We lost all our friends at age 3 when they all went to school. We weren't the only ones struggling either - the library storytime suddenly had no kids my boys' age, my kids were the oldest on the playgrounds, and not only that, but our schedule was just odd compared to other people - we'd be on the playground at noon and it would be empty even of younger kids... naps. We found a preschool homeschool group to hang out with instead. That's part of why I find it so annoying when homeschoolers with older kids get all picky about saying you're "homeschooling" your 3 yo. If you're looking for other 3 and 4 yos to just play with, what are you supposed to call it to make it clear that you're not planning on school? Anyway, we had to travel more, but it was definitely worth it. My advice to homeschool parents with their oldest in preschool is to make friends now if you can. You don't need any time for academics really so this is the time to invest in trying to build friendships. We still have a ton of our closest friends from when my boys were 4-5 yo and they're now 11 yo. Of course, some went off to school or moved away, we've made newer friends too, of course. But I really credit a lot of our strong social scene to having put that time in just hanging out a ton back then. 7 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Artichoke Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 We did a Parent's Day Out Program through age five. The kids went from 9-2 two days a week. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 Keep checking out homeschool support groups. Ours allows preschoolers, toddlers, even babies, if you're not intending to send your child to school later. We recognize that you may not be doing any sort of formal schooling with your tiny ones, but you and they still need like-minded friends. 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CelticHaiku Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 The Homeschool Co-op in our area has classes for ages 3 and up as well as a nursery for the babies. They meet once a week and the children move through 3 45 min classes. The classes for school aged kids range from Academic classes to enrichment/physical activity/crafty. The classes for the preschool aged kids are play/song/art based. If you don't have a child at least 5 years old you are required to teach a class. So if your oldest is 4 then you have to teach a class, but if you have a 4 year old and a 7 year old then you don't have to teach but many do. Maybe dig deeper into some of the options in your area. There is a chance one group might be willing to expand their options if you are willing to teach. Families that are already involved in the homeschool group may probably have littles in addition to their school aged kids. 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rachel Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 We noticed that too. We do live in an area where homeschooling is common so we do occasionally run into other older kids. After a couple years we have met a couple families that are available on short notice to meet us at the park in the afternoon. For the most part my kids just play with each other at the park though. We do not belong to a coop, my kids tend to socialize with others through church. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loesje22000 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 I have run into that as well. Here in Belgium kids are sent to school very young (2.5 or 3). My son is 4.5, and here is what we are doing for interaction with kids his age. 1. I am very purposefully setting up play dates after school with the kids his age. I ask the mom if she wants to meet at a playground when she picks her kid up from school. Usually they are all for it. During winter I need to think of some things to do in my house so I can have his friends over. I am starting to make notes on my phone of which days certain moms/kids are available after school. 2. I signed him up for swim lessons at the same place some of his friends go. They don't actually interact much during the lesson, but I wanted him to have swim lessons anyway. At least he sees them briefly, and I mingle with the parents which opens up other doors. 3. We attend a church here that has Sunday school. So at a minimum he sees a handful of kids roughly his age each week. 4. I am considering putting him into a My Gym (I think that's what it's called?) it's an indoor activity time grouped by age. I know it'll be evening hours, but that's fine if he can get energy out AND be with other kids at the same time. It's definitely an effort on my part. But after spending a year in Italy we realized he very rarely saw any kids his age, and we are trying hard to fix that. I should also mention that I'm in a mommy play group where the moms and toddlers meet up regularly. Usually the other moms bring toddlers while their older kids are in school, but I bring both of my kids. This is another way for me to mingle with the other moms and stay in the loop of what's going on and scheduling play dates etc. Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Just want to mention the option to enroll dc during schoolvacations at daycamps, (for 3-5 yo halfday camps) 'sportdienst' or 'jeugddienst' organizes sports and fun activities for small prices. The fall vacation is always around Halloween, the early spring break around Carnaval/ the start of Lent. From 6yo you can enroll you dc at a fine arts academy on wednessday afternoon. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 One of DD's friends just started Kindergarten. From 7:40 am to 3:40 am Mon-Fri. Her mom says when she comes home she goes to her room to be alone. She's had enough of being around other kids. Then she eats and does homework and goes to bed. So, you won't find her at the playground in the evening. I feel sorry for her. But, both her parents need to work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted October 8, 2015 Share Posted October 8, 2015 More than once over the years, I have been the one who started what my kids needed. For every need your kids have, I can almost guarantee that someone else out there has the same desire. You can either wait and hope that someone else starts a preschool playgroup, or you can start one yourself. You can do this! I would recommend starting a preschool park day. Keep it simple. Choose a park and get the word out. Contact any local hs support groups and let them know. Tell all of your preschool friends, because even if their kids are in school, they might have a friend in your position. Make a private Facebook group or Meetup ($$). Our homeschool group has mostly older kids, but recently we've had a new crop of younger families join. They tend to arrive and leave earlier from the park. One of our members has started to organize field trips for that age group, too. I really think if you build it, they will come. My experience is that they always do come! 5 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bluegoat Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 One of DD's friends just started Kindergarten. From 7:40 am to 3:40 am Mon-Fri. Her mom says when she comes home she goes to her room to be alone. She's had enough of being around other kids. Then she eats and does homework and goes to bed. So, you won't find her at the playground in the evening. I feel sorry for her. But, both her parents need to work. It completely boggles my mind that a chld of that age would be in school for seven or eight hours and need to do homework. 4 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternallytired Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 We had the same trouble, but unfortunately the area we lived in until last year had very few homeschoolers. I had been part of a MOMS Club, but the only people attending activities were those with toddlers and babies. I enrolled each of my kids in a weekly class. Those weren't especially social--more activity-focused, and the kids in there were busy enough with school and activities that they weren't interested in playdates--but at least got my kids around other kids consistently. I also found a MOPS (Mothers Of Pre-Schoolers--twice-a-month morning of childcare and adult time for Christian moms) program that had a lot of kids; enough of them did preschool only certain days that there were about 10 kids each in the 3s and 4s classes. Where we live now, there are LOTS of homeschoolers, but it took me a while to find activities for the younger set. (With the in-town group, I inquired about starting a park day that wasn't during everyone's littles' nap time and was told I was outta luck until my kids were older because they didn't want a second day or time for the park. Nor did they really want ideas for field trips that would suit anyone under middle school age. That group seems to have died this year...) I finally happened upon a group started via MeetUp, and there are tons of families in there with young elementary kids who drag their preschoolers and babies along to events. It was started by a mom who couldn't find a group to join, and it has grown so much in two years that there are often 60-75 people signed up for each outing, and they have to start turning people away. (That's the only downside...) But as someone upthread mentioned, if you have a need, there's almost certain to be someone else who has the same one. (Okay, now that I've written that I realize that I did try to start a park day for preschool families back in my old area; we had three others show up, all of whom lived 30-45 minutes in completely different directions from the park at which we met, and two of whom had actually signed their kids up for preschool... We never had a second meeting. So I guess there IS the chance of failure, but there's also the chance of glorious success, and you never know which it'll be unless you try.) On a related note, does anyone find it sad that the 3-5 crowd is so overbooked that they have no time for playdates or time at the park? 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandBoys Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 This happened to us. We moved across the country when my oldest was 4.5. It took over a year to make friends because all of his same-age peers were in all day PreK (yes, all day) then all day kindergarten and all the 3 year-olds were in half day preschools all week long. People in this area are also quite particular about same-age activities. While younger siblings are sometimes welcome, older siblings are not. Eventually, when my oldest was of kindergarten age, we met a group of families with preschoolers who planned to homeschool. While we now have other friends, this group is our core. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LMCme Posted October 9, 2015 Author Share Posted October 9, 2015 Thanks for all the great ideas! I'll keep looking around and, yes, perhaps even start something. Part of the problem is that we moved just a few months ago and so all my mommy friends are somewhere else. Thanks for all the help and support! LMC 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Coco_Clark Posted October 9, 2015 Share Posted October 9, 2015 Yep, I've experienced it as well and also encourage you to start something. I started a preschool park group with a friend when my boys were 3/4 and everyone was running off to preschool. That was before we had even quite decided if we were homeschooling yet! We just met at parks/rotated hosting. We advertised on the local homeschool Facebook page but mostly word of mouth. That same group morphed into a homeschooling playgroup (when the public school kids went to school and only the homeschoolers were left), and then into a CM inspired nature group (when only the people that really valued outside time kept prioritizing it, lol). Now it has its own book club offshoot! 2 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted October 10, 2015 Share Posted October 10, 2015 Definitely by age 3 here, most kids are in daycare or preschool. The libraries offer few "preschool story times" because if they do, all they get are large daycare groups with hands off caregivers and one librarian trying to contain 40-50 kids. The ones with preschool times tend to ask school/daycare) groups to schedule library field trips with a story time instead (where they can set out caregive expectations more clearly) or specifically say that there needs to be X or fewer kids in that age bracket per caregiver/parents. The homeschool group in my area has a few spin off/affliated groups. There's one for "tiny homeschoolers" (under 4) and "young homeschoolers" (ages 4-6ish). They gather at park day on a more nap friendly schedule and there are lots of field trips and stuff set up by moms. If there's something you want, the best way to get it is to start it. Using Facebook it's not not hard. I've arranged a number of field trips and attended many more. Build it, they will come and all that. Provided you live in a place with a population large enough to support such efforts. If there's a vibrant homeschool group there for older kids, no doubt there are other people in your shoes in your area. It's just a matter of finding them. ask the homeschool groups to let you post to their lists/groups with an announcement. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ethel Mertz Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Yes, we ran into the same problem when DS was that age. Now he's 13 and we found a couple of years ago that his homeschool friends were disappearing! Several kids ended up going to school when they hit middle school age. Even more will disappear when high school rolls around. We're in a small town, with one car, and he has aged out of the homeschool library-sponsored monthly book group. We've solved the problem this year by traveling to a museum an hour and a half away for a homeschool class once a week. DS also sings in a kids' chorus, takes archery, and is in a Confirmation Class. It takes a bit of juggling, but this is the best year so far for finding peers for this only child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 It's been that way since my oldest kids were preschoolers. We started our own playgroup. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abba12 Posted October 12, 2015 Share Posted October 12, 2015 Definitely a problem. Too old for the kids in the playground, too young for the homeschool groups who are tired of people who 'homeschool' preschool then disappear for kindergarten, so just exclude people who's eldest is 3 or 4. It's a REALLY hard time I found a number of soon-to-be homeschooling mums in my area, which was very fortunate, and started a homeschool playgroup. A few of the experienced mums also joined because they wanted something for their little kids who so often get lost in the crowd or ignored socially because of big kid activities. We also do sunday school, one quite social sport, and i make a big effort to plan a playdate at least once every two weeks, on the off-week from playgroup. I'm told it gets easier.... I'm not convinced lol Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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