Give me permission to homeschool (or not)

[lovinmyboys]

My oldest went to our neighborhood school for first grade, then I homeschooled him 2nd and 3rd. My others have always been homeschooled/too young for school. Next year my kids will be 4th, 2nd, k, and 3yr old.

 

There is a neighboring school district that kids can test into (if there is room) that is the best public school in our state and in the top 200 in the country (according to US News rankings). It is pretty hard to get in, but this year they were only taking 4th graders and my oldest got in.

 

I think it would be a good opportunity for him. I know it is a really good school. He has done ok homeschooling so far, but I think he would get a better education there than I could give him at home (not the case with our neighborhood school). I feel like I am throwing away a great opportunity.

 

However, I do like homeschooling him and I know his brothers would miss him if he were gone all day. I love the flexibility I have with homeschooling. And, I really don't want to drive him there and pick him up every day. His 3 younger brothers will probably spend 90 minutes a day in the car. Also, I am nervous about the rushed evenings. It costs money to attend (about as much as preschool). It won't cause us to not be able to pay bills, but it is a significant portion of our discretionary income.

 

On the plus side, it would give me more time with my 3 little kids. And I know he would be getting a really good education and hopefully making some friends. I am a little worried about teaching 4th grade along with teaching my other kids. When I plan for the year, I am spending all day teaching and I want to be able to be just a mom also. I'm afraid if I do fourth grade "right" we won't have time for all the fun stuff.

 

In short, I would prefer to homeschool, but I feel really guilty to not give him this opportunity. I don't know what to do, but I have to decide by Friday.

[Farrar]

How does he feel about it? I don't believe a child that age should be the final decider about things like this, but if I was on the fence, that would be an important thing to consider.

 

Also, what long term effects will attending this school have on his future educational options? Does it feed into a better middle school or eventually high school? If there are different options for school down the line, will not attending this school change those options?

 

I would also consider that in many places, fourth grade is THE testing year. It's the make or break year and therefore even at "good" schools where there might be less test prep focus, there's often more in fourth grade than any other year. Just something to think about.

[73349]

Some questions as you're working through the decision:

 

Would it bother you to try it for a year and take him back home if it was too much stress? Would it bother him? Or is this a multi-year commitment?

 

With the amount of $ you would spend sending him, is there some other opportunity that you could give him? A summer camp, music lessons, an awesome curriculum, etc?

 

Are your kids (including him) fairly flexible, or is this schedule going to result in meltdowns over dinner?

 

What is homework like at that school?

 

[lovinmyboys]

He wants to homeschool because he likes his free time. Honestly, he has had lots of free time, but I feel like this year he really needs to ramp up his work. I have been pretty laid back, which seems to have worked since he passed the test to get into the school, but I just don't think he can do a 4th grade year as laid back as we have been. And, that seems to be why he wants to homeschool.

 

As far as testing, they take the reading, math, and science tests in 4th and I don't think the school got to be number one by ignoring test prep. So, that is one concern of mine.

 

The school is a k-6 school that feeds into a 7-12 school. There are only 1000 kids in the whole district.

[foxbridgeacademy]

He wants to stay home, you want him to stay home, your family would suffer if he does go to P.S....... You can ramp up the work load incrementally without overloading him, that's another thread entirely.

 

I have similar issues, DS would never choose to go to P.S. but we may be moving to a district that has one of those Top 200 schools and it almost seems sacrilegious to not send him.  But if we do move there he will be staying home because it's the right thing to do for him, DD on the other hand will be going.  Only you know what is right for your family.  

 

While you could give the school a try, my concern would be that he'll love it but for whatever reason (the 90 minutes in the car?) it won't work for you.  I'd use the money to get him involved in a once a week class where he can meet some new people and learn something new (art, karate, gymnastics,). Even if it's a long drive it's only 1X per week instead of 5.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

90 minutes per day in the car for the younger siblings? I wouldn't even consider it. That's no way to spend a childhood if it can be helped; think of all the children out in very rural areas, on ranches and farms, who homeschool just to avoid 1-2 hours of riding the bus.
 

Also, he will have more free time homeschooling, he's quite right about that.

 

You can increase the rigor in your homeschool. :D We'll help you ramp up a little, if you want to talk about it!

[Starr]

 Here are a couple of other questions that come to mind. Can you afford to put the other kids in the school when a spot opens up? Will everyones life be centered around the school activity calendar? I'm pro pretty much equal time and money for all kids unless there is a major issue, health etc.

[Kerry Blue]

You say the younger kids will spend about 90 minutes in the car each day. So it takes you 22.5 minutes to get to the school? (this is assuming you would go home during school hours) Does this include morning and evening commuter traffic? Do you live in a place that will have snow and ice come winter?

 

OK, let's say school starts at 9. You want him to get there before the bell, so 8:50. Let's say for low traffic, we allow 30 minutes for a commute, so you leave home at 8:20. Now, when would you have to get up, and subsequently get the younger kids up, so they can be fed, dressed, and in the car by this time? (Perhaps your family and schedules are different, and you can just pull the younger kids out of bed and carry them to the car before they really wake up and start demanding breakfast. You will have to determine the logistics for yourself.) Then you and your little ones can get home by about 9:30 and start YOUR day.

 

We tried doing something like this for DD#1 and PreK, and I found that our days (at least for me) were very stressful. I had to make sure ALL the little ones were dressed, fed, had shoes on, went to the bathroom, etc. And, as usually happens with young kids, a diaper becomes dirty at the last minute, or someone takes off their shoes (or their clothes). It was just stress that I found that I did not need or want in my life.

 

For me, it would not matter if this school was the best in the state. I still feel that I can give my child a better education and growing environment at this level than public school. I don't believe young kids need 6 hours of school, commutes, and then homework. Honestly, will your son be able to sit, ride, sit, do school, sit, ride, sit, do homework for that long? I think he has a valid point in that he worries about his free time. Does he have interests and hobbies, and will there be time to do them during the week? Will the youngers get time to play in between school, meals and car rides?

 

Perhaps you need to determine what exactly this school is providing that you feel your 4th grader can't miss out on. Not just that it is so great, but what curricula or class in the school make it so?. How did it get to be best in the state? Standardized test scores? Can you try something the school is doing at home?

[Farrar]

Given what you said, I don't really see why you would send him. He doesn't want to go, you don't want him to go, he'll feed into the same middle school so it's not closing off later options, the drive is long, it's a heavy testing year and you suspect they do a lot of test prep... I mean, sometimes people have school opportunities and there seem to be a lot of compelling reasons to take them or consider them. But you can do as good a job as this school. I mean, you'll do a different job. But you can easily do more field trips and you can ramp up the work.

[Alte Veste Academy]

I am a little worried about teaching 4th grade along with teaching my other kids. When I plan for the year, I am spending all day teaching and I want to be able to be just a mom also. I'm afraid if I do fourth grade "right" we won't have time for all the fun stuff.

 

I mostly agree with everyone to keep him home, and that's a lot of time in the car that I would usually see as patently unacceptable, but...this part gives me pause. This year your kids will be a 4th grader, a 2nd grader, a K'er, and a 3yo. And then they will be a 5th grader, a 3rd grader, a 1st grader, and a 4yo...and so on and on...and any more wee ones to come along will add on to your workload and time commitment, obviously. 

 

In my experience, there came a time when my kids hit a certain age/grade/level of work, the school days got longer, the load got harder, I started getting spread thinner, and I realized that a whole different level of commitment to homeschooling was necessary. I had/have to learn to manage the ever-changing educational needs of these kids and the running of my household. And did I emphasize change enough? LOL It changes every year. There comes a point with this many kids (and I only have three!) that, yes, you are spending all day teaching. Our school and my attitude improved when I recognized that homeschooling multiple children, especially through the middle and upper grades, is a full-time job. 

 

I hear you say that the school can provide a better education. That's not necessarily true, but we have to be real with ourselves. This may be the time to be excruciatingly honest with yourself, to address your expectations of yourself, your kids, and your schedule and just decide this is the year you are going to take things up a notch—and this can still be fun! Yes, his 4th grade year will be different if he stays home, but you can make it equally rich. Or maybe you decide you want to spend more hours as a mom and fewer as a teacher and send them to school when they hit 4th grade. In your situation, I would make whichever decision starts the way I mean to go.

[SeekingHim77]

I say keep him home. :-)

 

You might feel the need to ramp things up a bit but honestly, how hard can 4th grade be? Even a rigorous education for 4th grade is still fairly simple IMO. I think I would reevaluate my methods if I felt like school would take all day with all elementary age children. I would combine for as much as possible and try to find programs that can be done relatively independently for the other subjects. Other moms with large families can give you some great advice on how to get it all done in a timely manner. 

 

However wonderful that public school might be, they can't possibly give him a one on one tutor each and every day. That is what you are able to give him at home-even if you are only able to work alone with him for an hour a day. You also get to choose a tailor made education for him. Again, no public school will be able to do that either.

 

Have you listed the pros and cons of both options? That exercise can be very eye opening.

[Alte Veste Academy]

Just to clarify, and recognizing that the OP said she feels like she is teaching all day, I'm not saying school will take all day this year. What I am saying is that it gets there. I think it is only fair to point that out in this case, when the OP is already voicing that she would like to be spending more time just being a mom. That's not the direction this gig is headed, although for some of us the lines start to blur nicely. :)

[Alte Veste Academy]

Here are a couple of other questions that come to mind. Can you afford to put the other kids in the school when a spot opens up?

This is a fantastic question. If the answer is no, I would keep him home, ramp things up this year, and start a thread or two about plans, rigor, fun, balance, schedules...the whole nine yards. LOL

[lovinmyboys]

So far (the last two years) I have definitely not been teaching all day and I am ok with my kids education so far. We have had plenty of time for field trips, games, outside play, everything that I think childhood should be. We have kinda just fit school into bits of the day and it has worked out.

 

Looking at next year, I feel like we really will have to spend more time doing school. My going into 2nd is not a strong reader yet, my going into k is a pretty academic little guy and is definitely ready to read, and my 4th grader needs to ramp up his output.

 

It's not so much that I want to be just mom in general, it's more that I don't want to spend all day on school, then have to cook and clean, and not get much time doing things with my 3yr old. He is my last baby and I feel like his babyhood just went so fast. (Of course, I don't really want him to spend his year in the car either).

 

I do feel like this is the year that I need to make homeschooling the priority. It was easy to decide to homeschool the last couple of years because our zoned school is not great and it was fairly easy to give my kids a better education than they could get there. When I compare my homeschool to this better school, I feel like I need to have a higher standard for our homeschool.

 

I don't think I will send him to that school. It is all cons about going there, but it has a very good reputation locally and I feel like I am making the crazy decision to not let him go. It is hard to get into the school unless you live in the district, so this may be his only chance to get in.

[Tidbits of Learning]

If I have one regret, it was not outsourcing my older children who did not struggle with school so that I could focus on my struggling reader and writer who turned out to be dyslexic and dysgraphic.  My older children would have done well at home or in school.  My struggling son not so much.  It turned into schooling the children who got school quickly and then spending all day into the night with my struggling learner for many years.  My 2 oldest are back in school in a good school with a great AP program playing sports and marching band.  I do not know if that would have been the case when they were younger b/c the lower level schools were not great.  I do believe homeschooling helped in that way, but I got burnt out a few years ago and I didn't pursue any outlets that would help me.  I regret that as it made me resent and hate homeschooling.  

If you are already feeling those feelings, then I would say try it.  Give it a semester at least until Christmas break and see how it goes.  We take homeschooling a year at a time with this many kids and so far the best decision we have made was to take that opportunity for the great school when the time came.  I am at a different stage in the game than you my youngest is now 8 and in 3rd grade, but I have been the parent of a 4th, 3rd, 1st, and 3 year old.  It was hard.  In fact, I put my 3 year old in a great day school program in order to be able to focus on my olders.  Whether you outsource for your 4th grader or you take advantage of a mom's day out or a day school for your younger ones, I do encourage you to listen to your heart about how you are starting to feel about homeschooling...I got burnt out, angry, resentful, depressed...the list could go on and on...

I was not the best thing for my 2 oldest by the time we sent them to school b/c I was just burning the candle at both ends and couldn't focus on anyone to really give them something special from homeschooling.  A car ride 2x a day will probably give your k'er and your 3 yr old a nap.  Invest in a car dvd if you don't have one and turn on leap frog educational dvd's.  I have done carpool with a pre-k'er and a 2 yr old.  They mostly fall asleep in the afternoon car pool.  We started listening to books on cd from the library as a family for the carpool in the morning.  

You need to think about you and your feelings too about your family, your role in the family and homeschooling, and how it makes you feel as a mom and a person.  I know I should have listened to my heart at least 2 years before we got to the point that I was totally burnt out and depressed and angry about homeschooling.  

[AppleGreen]

I think you have already been given some fantastic questions and points to consider, so I will just throw in my personal experience.

 

My oldest gave a local charter school a go last year. We had a 1 hour round trip twice a day. We were able to do some carpooling, but that was somewhat inconsistent due to changes in personal schedules etc. It was very hard on all of us. I honestly think that particular set up: driving a child/children to school and homeschooling others is one of the most difficult set ups and seriously ups the burnout factor. Can it be done? Absolutely, but I think it is challenging for everyone. If all of my children were going to said school or even half, the drive may be worth it, but it was definitely took its toll after a few weeks at our house.

 

I think your children are spaced a little closer than mine and are obviously younger, but doing that drive was very hard on my then 5 year old. Some of that could be personality, but DH and I kept coming back to, "Is this how we want our five year to spend his/her year?" 

 

I would look very closely at the school hours. Around here elementary school is 6.5 hours, so with travel time you are only looking at about 4 hours of at home time. That is not really a lot of time to settle in and exhale with your littles. Do you do after school activities? That may be a lot of going for your littlest. 

 

If you are feeling burned out, stretched too thin or just that you need a off year from homeschooling, then I would not hesitate to look at other school options. Personally, I would look at local schools that would allow your child to get his needs met, but still preserve and respect your other children's needs. I think good enough would trump the awesome, but 90 minutes of driving option. What options are there for your younger children that may give you the opportunity to have some quiet, focused time with your olders? 

 

One final thought. As my children got older, I had the realization that our school day was evolving. Gone were the days of just meandering through our work, skipping it if a fun opportunity came along or otherwise just being very loosey goosey about school. At a certain point I realized this was my full time job. I have a large family, so being finished at lunch was not going to be realistic. It was a big adjustment for me and my attitude, but necessary because this is the path our family had chosen. It is an intense path, and it is totally ok if you decide homeschooling is not a good fit for your family. That may change in the future or not, and that is totally ok! 

[kagmypts]

I mostly agree with everyone to keep him home, and that's a lot of time in the car that I would usually see as patently unacceptable, but...this part gives me pause. This year your kids will be a 4th grader, a 2nd grader, a K'er, and a 3yo. And then they will be a 5th grader, a 3rd grader, a 1st grader, and a 4yo...and so on and on...and any more wee ones to come along will add on to your workload and time commitment, obviously. 

 

In my experience, there came a time when my kids hit a certain age/grade/level of work, the school days got longer, the load got harder, I started getting spread thinner, and I realized that a whole different level of commitment to homeschooling was necessary. I had/have to learn to manage the ever-changing educational needs of these kids and the running of my household. And did I emphasize change enough? LOL It changes every year. There comes a point with this many kids (and I only have three!) that, yes, you are spending all day teaching. Our school and my attitude improved when I recognized that homeschooling multiple children, especially through the middle and upper grades, is a full-time job. 

 

I hear you say that the school can provide a better education. That's not necessarily true, but we have to be real with ourselves. This may be the time to be excruciatingly honest with yourself, to address your expectations of yourself, your kids, and your schedule and just decide this is the year you are going to take things up a notch—and this can still be fun! Yes, his 4th grade year will be different if he stays home, but you can make it equally rich. Or maybe you decide you want to spend more hours as a mom and fewer as a teacher and send them to school when they hit 4th grade. In your situation, I would make whichever decision starts the way I mean to go.

 

OP, I hope that I don't drag your thread off-topic, but this is a wonderful response. 

 

Thank you so much for this post, and it really spoke to me.  I have two kids with special needs in addition to a sixth grader, and this past school year, I felt as if I was spending every waking second schooling, planning, or shuffling kids to an activity.  If not for my husband, our house would have been in shambles.  I was beyond drained at the end of the school year.  I am definitely seriously contemplating our long-term goals because I am not sure if another year like last year is sustainable.

 

 

So far (the last two years) I have definitely not been teaching all day and I am ok with my kids education so far. We have had plenty of time for field trips, games, outside play, everything that I think childhood should be. We have kinda just fit school into bits of the day and it has worked out.

 

Looking at next year, I feel like we really will have to spend more time doing school. My going into 2nd is not a strong reader yet, my going into k is a pretty academic little guy and is definitely ready to read, and my 4th grader needs to ramp up his output.

 

It's not so much that I want to be just mom in general, it's more that I don't want to spend all day on school, then have to cook and clean, and not get much time doing things with my 3yr old. He is my last baby and I feel like his babyhood just went so fast. (Of course, I don't really want him to spend his year in the car either).

 

I do feel like this is the year that I need to make homeschooling the priority. It was easy to decide to homeschool the last couple of years because our zoned school is not great and it was fairly easy to give my kids a better education than they could get there. When I compare my homeschool to this better school, I feel like I need to have a higher standard for our homeschool.

 

I don't think I will send him to that school. It is all cons about going there, but it has a very good reputation locally and I feel like I am making the crazy decision to not let him go. It is hard to get into the school unless you live in the district, so this may be his only chance to get in.

 

Have you considering sending him to the public school and just see what happens?  If he goes to public school and it works, keep him there.  If not, pull him out and return to homeschooling.  That's pretty easy to do.  However, if you begin this school year and realize that you aren't/can't giving DS what he needs, you won't have the option to send him to that school.  Good luck!

 

 

[mamakelly]

What if you used some of the money that you said you would be spending to send him to this school, to pay a house cleaner or some other sort of help, that might lighten your load? 

[MotherOfBoys]

What about using a smaller amount of the money to do an awesome online class for one of his subjects? You do not need to worry as much about rigor if what your doing got him to pass the test in the first place. If this year is alot of testing and test prep then it's not a good year to try the school. It's an extra stressful year and a review year.

 

Congratulations on teaching your kids so well!

[ktgrok]

I get trying to have more time, but if you are in the car an hour and a half a day, are you really going to get more time? That doesn't count waiting in the pick up line to pick up the kid, either, I bet. Or taking littles out in the pouring rain to pick up big brother, etc. Been there, done that, SO not worth it. And the money is never just the tuition. It's that plus fundraisers and gym uniforms and spirit day shirts and school photos, etc etc. It adds up. Plus the time and money to pack lunches. Not worth it. 

 

4th grade doesn't have to be hard. Heck, we did 5th grade mostly independently. Maybe start a thread looking for timesaving yet more rigorous curriculum? CLE would give you both for math and language arts (use the math, Language arts, and reading) Or use Teaching Textbooks for math, then spend that money you are saving by not paying tuition to get the Veritas Press self paced video history course. It looks awesome. Science could be (and probably should be) fun stuff still at that age. We honestly unschooled science for the most part, just getting interesting books at the library he read himself, watching documentaries on Netflix, magic schoolbus, Mr. Wizard (my library had the DVDs) etc. Plus some fun field trips for everyone. Maybe a nature notebook. Nothing teacher intensive. Heck, much of 5th grade science in my house was "watch a science documentary on netflix, your choice). Oh, and myth busters too!

[Reefgazer]

The 90 minutes per day in a car would probably do it in for me also. It's not just that younger kids have 90 minutes in the car per day, but that is actually quite tiring for you, and that's something to consider since you have to keep it together for several others' well bring.

 

 

90 minutes per day in the car for the younger siblings? I wouldn't even consider it. That's no way to spend a childhood if it can be helped; think of all the children out in very rural areas, on ranches and farms, who homeschool just to avoid 1-2 hours of riding the bus.

 

Also, he will have more free time homeschooling, he's quite right about that.

 

You can increase the rigor in your homeschool. :D We'll help you ramp up a little, if you want to talk about it!

[Garga]

Before making the decision, the #1 thing I'd want to know is exactly (exactly) what makes it such a good school. There are some schools that have very unique ways of doing things that would be hard to do at home. Is this one of those schools? Or is it just that they have good test scores?

 

You need to talk to someone at the school to find out exactly, with lots and lots of specifics, they do there. What makes them special?

 

It may be that they will do things way beyond what you could ever do and it is wonderful. Or it could be that they focus on things you do not think are important. You cannot make this decision without knowing exactly what/how/why they teach.

[lovinmyboys]

A bunch of random thoughts responding to a lot of the previous posters. Thanks everyone for helping me think through this.

 

Yes, I feel pretty good that he was able to get in.

 

The total time in transportation should be between 60-90 minutes a day (15 minutes each way twice a day, plus sitting in line, and extra traffic and stop lights). That is definitely one of the biggest negatives.

 

I think the main thing the school would give ds, that I feel like I can't do, is a sense of what other students are doing at this age. I feel like he is super content with his knowledge. I tell him he needs to learn to type this year and he says he already knows how. Well, yes, he sort of can. But not well. I don't feel like he gives me his best effort. He is a good kid and he will if I make him, but I know he would put more effort for his teacher.

 

Also, another reason I am considering sending him is to hopefully give him more community. I am thinking he may need a little more life outside of his little brothers.

 

This school is a good school because it is small (1000 students total k-12) and it has a lot of money.

 

I love homeschooling. I guess what I need to work on is helping him be part of a community and getting him to do his best work for me (and not just tell me that he is going to be a professional baseball player so he doesn't need to know this or that. I don't think he actually believes that and I know he wouldn't say it to a teacher.)

[mamiof5]

I guess for me it boils down to why do I homeschool. Yes, academics are important for me...but honestly, teaching our faith to our kids and spending time with them comes first. Also, I am not fond at all of the environment in the schools right now, and what kids are exposed to now a days. That does it for me...academics is not my main priority.

[Renai]

(and not just tell me that he is going to be a professional baseball player so he doesn't need to know this or that. I don't think he actually believes that and I know he wouldn't say it to a teacher.)

 

I'm sorry, but I lol'd at this. I had a 6th grade (public schooled) girl that I was tutoring tell me this. She was going to be a professional basketball player so she didn't need to know anything. I asked how she was going to play on the college team unless she had some knowledge to pass the classes. And, once her short career in basketball ended, what was she going to have as backup? I think quite a bit of my tutoring time with this child was helping her think practically about her future (as practical as a kid that age would think, anyway). 

 

Oh, she's doing fine now. She is working part time and going to a high ranked charter where she'll be graduating this year.

 

I only tell this story because of the basketball story. Kids these ages...it doesn't matter if they are homeschooled or public schooled.

[BusyMom5]

For years I had a drive like that twice a day- when my kids were in public school.  We live rural, and it's not unusual to have that long of a drive into town.  It does get old- fast, and I hated having to be out the door by 7:45 every morning- all kids dressed, fed, hair fixed, shoes on, and go potty; lunches packed, and backpacks loaded and ready.  I was pretty much a drill sergeant each morning, and I hated it.  It was the only way I could get them all out the door, though, and frankly I think I did a good job of it!  I was never late (okay, ONE time in 5 years, and it was only like 5 minutes, but my kids never let me forget it!).  My school has a bit longer day, so I had to leave to pick them up at 3:00 each day, and we got home around 3:45.  I had enough time to give everyone a snack, then homework time.  WHen I had 4 in school the last year, they got 15 minutes each of my time, I rotated kids for homework, while doing dinner.  Then they ate and got ready for bed.  It was no fun.  I really missed seeing them so much.  In the years before I only had 1 or 2 gone, so I could spend the evenings focusing on them, and the days focusing on the younger kids.  That last year my twins were in K, and I felt like I never got to see them, like I was spread very thin with 4 kids in school.  I'm not saying you shouldn't do it, I'm just saying really think aobut how your day will go both ways.  Maybe try a trial of taking him to and from school to get a better idea about the commute and how the day will flow.  I find it much easier to HS than to take them into PS everyday and pick them up (riding the bus made them gone 10 hours!!!  6:25-4:30 everyday- not for my family!).  I guess I jumped in at a differnet point- I started w/  6th, 4th, and twin 1st graders (and a 3 year old) last year and I found it just as easy to HS as PS, and easier in a lot of ways.  Much more freedom.  I do feel like I had a pretty rigorous day, and I do feel like I was teaching for several hours per day- but that was my plan.  I was spending at least 3 hours per day, often more when one had trouble w/ homework, doing public school.  We had to be up no later than 6:45- one hour to get everyone out the door.  A good 45 minute round-trip, then 45 minutes to pick them up in the afternoon, then at least an hour working on homework each day.  And I had no choice of just stopping, saying we weren't finishing homework, not driving into school, ect.  With homeschooling I feel like I could adjust my days much easier. 

 

I like the idea of hiring a babysitter for the younger one, doing a mom's day out, hiring a housekeeper, ect. with the $$ you are saving from not driving in each day.  Best of luck!