What do you regret doing (or not doing) in your homeschool?

[Jean in Newcastle]

I regret not making my now 11 year old memorize his math facts before this. (The buck stops here this year.)

 

I regret not making my now 11 year old form his letters correctly. Do you remember practicing lines and loops over and over? (or am I dating myself).

 

I regret not going to the doctor sooner to get my health issues addressed.

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Handwriting.

 

I regret not making more of an effort for my ds10 to do handwriting. I regret not being a stickler about it. I'm doing it now, but, it's hard for him now! At the time I was so worried about his not being able to read, I really focused on that. Now I realize, I could have done both.

[BMW]

Just joining you with those regrets... I have 3 boys all learning their multiplication tables this year... and only one has a teacher who is pushing cursive, the other 4 youngest kiddos haven't learned it... at all!

 

I teach them (afterschool and 1 homeschooler) their cursive now and have them practice... yep, loops and curves, etc.

 

I think both fact memorization and a good, quick cursive serves the student long term...

 

Bee

[Michelle in AL]

I regret not following TWTM recommendations more closely. I left out a lot of the ancient lit stories because I was afraid they would be too difficult. Now after, reading them myself I realized they are really good reads and they missed something! I wish we had done more Shakespeare earlier too, like Shakespeare for Little Lambs. My girls are in 7th and 9th and we did a Shakespeare class and now love Shakespeare. I wish they had the stories already in their minds as a foundation.

I sort of wish we had done Latin, so that they would have a better foundation in grammar & vocabulary. Instead we dabbled in Spanish a lot as that's what I'm familiar with and they have needed it for mission trips to South America.

Oh well,

[Miss Marple]

Put me right there with you all about handwriting! My first son had lovely writing until I stopped making him practice. *All* of my boys have poor penmanship (can't say mine is too good either), so I'm really glad they can type.

[Desert Rat]

I regret not fitting in more of the fun stuff for my ds8. I regret focusing too much on his academic work which is several years ahead of his age and not enough on his emotional needs.

I learned valuable lessons though and my ds5 is benefitting from them.

The one thing I never regret is the decision to keep them home.

[GSMP]

All the above and conisitency....It is my fault. No buck passing here.

[VaKim]

I regret not starting hs sooner with my oldest. She formed so many bad habits in those first 4 years that I never was able to undo, compared to my youngest, who I taught from the beginning, and who learned to write properly, to sound out words, and to actually think. Of course, I didn't even know homeschooling existed before the year I started, so it wasn't really my fault.

 

I just realized, that really wasn't anything "in my homeschool." Sorry about that.

[Michelle in MO]

I would have homeschooled my youngest in kindergarten and spent the entire year just working on phonics. We saved that for 1st grade and spent too much time doing all of the Saxon math lesson and not enough time on phonics.

 

I would have read aloud more to my youngest! She's catching up on reading, though. :)

 

I would have continued doing poetry daily, even when the older two were in high school.

 

I would have hired a math tutor for my girls, starting with 8th grade algebra; or, I would have used Chalkdust, which is the next best thing. :)

 

I would have outsourced more high school classes; we outsourced writing last year, which turned out great. I would have outsourced the math, possibly the science, Latin, and Omnibus.

 

One good thing from all of this: we can learn from our mistakes!

[OnTheBrink]

I really regret not pulling my son out of public school before high school. I feel like I failed him.

[danielle]

Biggest regret: ever sending dd to school at all. We looked at tons of schools but never considered homeschooling. First grade was bad and second grade a disaster and it took a LOOONNNGGG time for her confidence and interest in learning to return. She's recovered years ago (still hates the idea of school) but I don't think I ever will forget the condition my little girl was in when we pulled her in March of second grade.

 

Not a regret really, but I'd do it differently: I have always been terrible at math and didn't think I could trust my instincts without a program laid out for me. We used Saxon until 7th grade, and if I had it to do over, I'd just do flashcards and stuff like Family Math, with fun math books (Theoni Pappas, How Math Works) until she knew math facts and was ready for Life of Fred. Then, there would have been more joy to the study. We always did "fun math", but I'd just bag the rest of the drill, drill, drill and the endless practice and use games and manipulatives a lot more.

 

I would say to those of you with younger kids, now at 14 with 6 years of homeschooling, my dd survived my parenting and all my mistakes. Kids are resilient, and you really do just need to strive to be good enough, not perfect.

 

Danielle

[Jean in Newcastle]

Just wanted to say that I started this thread not to make us all depressed:D but to help those who are starting out and those of us who are continuing on to learn from each other's mistakes. And I know that I'm feeling much better knowing that so many other of you have the same regrets as I do about handwriting!:tongue_smilie:

[Jenny in Florida]

Handwriting is a big one for me, too.

 

In my daughter's case, she started writing so early (and spontaneously) that I didn't want to be too picky about how she did it. Unfortunately, that just meant that she developed lots of bad habits and her handwriting was awful for years. We finally "corrected it" by having her learn cursive, correctly from the beginning. Her printing remained pretty icky until she was about 12, when she decided it embarassed her and set about fixing it.

 

My son did not start writing early, and I actually tried to teach him how to write, but he has always, always hated it and resisted it with rather impressive might. I decided last year (when he was 9) to let go of the whole issue to try and alleviate the tension. This year, we are wading back in slowly, again by working on learning cursive. I'll let you know how it goes.

 

What worked for my daughter, cursive wise, by the way, was starting by letting her go through a basic cycle of learning how to form each letter. However, she couldn't seem to make the leap to actually reading and writing in it full time. At that point, she was really into poetry and anything to do with fairies. So, I pulled an old compilation of children's poetry off the shelf and started giving her a sheet every morning that had one stanza of a poem I though she'd like written out in cursive. She had to "translate" it (write it out in manuscript) and then copy it out in cursive.

 

Within about three weeks, she was completely comfortable in cursive and doing all of her written work that way.

 

I guess the other lingering regret I have with my daughter has to do with math. When she was young, she always liked math. In fact, she always worked a couple of grades ahead in that subject while she was "behind" in writing. Then we hit multiplication. I felt strongly that she needed to have "the basics" down before we moved on, and she slowly learned to hate math, because she was spending all of her time doing multiplication. Eventually, I came to my senses and decided to let her move on to something interesting (while still doing a bit of daily practice with multiplication). Things improved, but then we hit another roadblock.

 

Math has never been my best area, and she got to a point at which I was no longer really comfortable teaching it. We tried various things, including taking a year to do "fun" math, none of which worked. Finally, we ended up having her do algebra more or less independently with some workbooks I bought at the teacher's supply store. It was better than full-time multiplication, but still not a very interesting approach.

 

Finally, we went ahead and registered her for the geometry course through FLVS. For the first time in a few years, she had a course that was interesting and interactive and a capable instructor. She enjoyed the course and did very well. Unfortunately, it was too late. By that time, she had decided she "hated" math, and nothing that happened after that would change her mind. She considered the geometry class an fluke and went right back to hating math when she moved past it.

 

I still feel guilty about this, because I'm confident if I had been more creative or more proactive about finding her appropriate course materials and instructors, she wouldn't have such a negative attitide about math now.

 

I've encountered some of the same issues with my son, but this time I knew better than to try and tough it out. When he bogged down in multiplication, I switched at once to light daily skills practice combined with more interesting conceptual work. And once we started having tension about me teaching math, I went ahead and enrolled him in outside math courses. He still doesn't love the subject, but he's a whole lot more confident and positive about it than his big sister.

 

So, I guess this last bit actually belongs in the "What I did right" thread, huh?

[laughing lioness]

I regret being too hard on my oldest two dd's. Not helping and encouraging them enough. This year, through watching another Andrew Pudewa DVD , it really hit me: help the kids when they need it. I am finally getting a great balance of expectation and encouragement.

I regret not having my older kids memorize more and earlier. I wish I had truly understood the concept of mastery over overview earlier.

I also regret not studying Latin earlier and going farther with it. Part of it was that the available resources "back in the day" were so much more limited. Part of it was getting over my own perceived limitations. I am much freerer now to understand that areas I don't know are just areas I need to study, not areas of lack.

[FO4UR]

Great thread! This is really encouraging to this newbie:bigear:

[Jane Elliot]

I regret buying into the "better late than early"/"boys develop later" philosophy in the very early years of our homeschool. My twins really suffered because of this. Fortunately WTM came along and rescued me from this nonsense before it was too late.

 

I regret not finding solutions for teaching math to our high schoolers sooner. I wish we had started Chalkdust two years earlier than we did.

 

I regret spending too much time on these boards! On the one hand, they've been a tremendous help. On the other hand, at times they've seemed akin to an addiction.

[Michelle T]

I've done way too much curriculum-hopping, when I should have stayed put.

 

And on the other hand, I'm ashamed at how often I knew in my gut that a particular curriculum wouldn't be a good fit for DS or for me, and yet bought it anyway, tried to make it work, then dropped it when it inevitably bombed. Why can't I learn to listen to my own inner judgement?

 

Between these two errors, I have plenty to regret!

Michelle T

[angela in ohio]

I regret not being more strict with handwriting when my oldest dd were young.

 

I regret not finding a way to buy a good, thorough phonics program for them and instead cobbling my own together.

[Peso]

I echo many of these, but my biggest regret BY FAR is the time I have spent on the computer. This year I have vowed to only be on when they are gone or asleep (they're gone right now!)...

 

oh, and math hopping. Pick one and stick with it, that's my other new motto!

 

Penny

[tinag]

I don't have a chance to read the other replies, but I would say not taking enough time to discipline. Schoolwork is very important, but so is discipline.

[KidsHappen]

They are always the last priority and so we haven't done as much as I would have liked.

 

And I really regret not buffing up on my math and learning Latin BEFORE I had to teach it. As it is, I am running to keep up with them and this old girl don't run as fast as she used to.

[Kris]

My only regret is not starting sooner. My son did well in PS until the middle of fifth grade, and it was all downhill from there. I spent the next two years telling him if he didn't get his act together, we would homeschool him. If he had told me he *wanted* to be homeschooled, I wouldn't have hesitated. But he didn't. So those two years were wasted. If he accomplished anything during that time, I'd be hard pressed to think of what it might be. It was a horrible period for all of us, and that didn't help with the process because the *last* thing I wanted was to have that kid home with me all day.

[MeanestMomInMidwest]

I would say to those of you with younger kids, now at 14 with 6 years of homeschooling, my dd survived my parenting and all my mistakes. Kids are resilient, and you really do just need to strive to be good enough, not perfect.

 

Danielle

 

I'm trying to find an emoticon with a big bunch of flowers and "thank you" This is good advice and hits right to the heart for me. I think I'll print it out and paste it somewhere I can see when I start to get stressed out. Thank You.

And thank you to everyone else for the honesty. I'm sure I'll make boatloads of mistakes, but as a new hs'er, I'm reading this thread and making so many mental notes.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

I wish that I'd been more consistent in recording what we did on a daily basis. It is such a nice thing for me to look back and remember that my older kids got to where they are through a daily progression, not through one miraculous jump.

 

I also wish that I'd done a weekly schedule sooner. It has helped to keep me on track, not put off subjects but also not just keep adding on.

[NevadaRabbit]

This is only our second year, but the lightbulb moment for me recently was when I realized that my kids don't have to be at the cutting edge of every subject at every moment. As a newbie home schooler, I am very affected by what others think, and it's oh so gratifying to hear "WOW!" about my kids learning Latin or naming Roman emperors or reading something more than Captain Underpants.

 

(No offense to Capt Underpants.)

 

But we hit some roadblocks, as we all do, and started this new school year out with some math review. I intended to review for 2 weeks and then go back to a new lesson each week. That was 8 weeks ago. We are still reviewing, because my kids are enjoying doing math that they can do - polishing their skills, not pushing ahead into new territory - just doing the math we know how to do in order to do it well. It was a big "AHA! Duh...." when I said - no - we're not going to rush through this review in order to get back to the new lessons - we're going to just shift into neutral. We will move ahead when they are ready.

 

I think it's like when they were progressing through their developmental milestones. They didn't proceed at the same pace in all areas. Sometimes their vocabulary increased by leaps and bounds while their motor skills remained the same for months. Would you more experienced ones agree with that??

[Amy loves Bud]

I was too lax about copywork/dictation/narration early on. :glare:

 

I was too hard on my poor DS when he was just a wee kindergartener. :sad:

 

I've spent entirely too much time on the computer, and I've made a concerted effort to step back from it in the last month (with excellent results in my personal life, including a 5lb wt. loss!)

 

Like many here, I haven't really been a taskmaster when it comes to handwriting. But I'm not too troubled by it either. DS has legible writing, even though it isn't beautiful. He's learning to keyboard. DD is a typical girl who wants lovely handwriting so she works hard at it. So that part I'm good with.

[Carol in Cal.]

I pushed too hard for too long at Rod and Staff grammar 3 and at Harcourt CA math. I should have realized much sooner that I needed to switch to something else. I should have been more flexible.

 

I wish I didn't have to work fulltime, but I do. This makes me a less involved teacher than I want to be, and no question about it, DD would learn more if I was able to teach more. Having said that, I am still positive that she is learning more than she would in school, and that she is having a happier life as well. So I'm sticking with this for at least another two years.

 

I wish that I had waited to start piano with her until she was 7. Because we started sooner she grew to hate it, and it was ruined for her.

[HRAAB]

Lack of consistency. Curriculum hopping. Buying into the idea that if I did nothing more than play cards all year they'd be better off than if they were in school. My older two are in college, they're surviving, but it could have been easier for them if mom had been consistent. Now with my younger, it's very different.

 

Wow, handwriting seems to be a big one. That's one thing I still don't put a whole lot of emphasis on other than faithfully doing copy work daily. Come to think of it, one of my older two has horrible handwriting, but at least she can read it.

 

Janet

[WTMindy]

I don't actually have too many regrets (thankfully). But, I do regret that I didn't crack down on some of ds's attitudes a little sooner. I let some things slide with him that I shouldn't have and now I'm having to work harder to fix them. I also regret the handwriting thing for ds.

[Janice in NJ]

... not seeing the difference(s) between parenting issues and homeschooling issues sooner.

 

My teacher hat and I took on too many of the parenting issues with the wrong set of tools.

 

Note to former self: New curriculum solves educational issues; it NEVER solves parenting issues!!!! :D

 

My dh and I should have handled the parenting issues with our parenting hat; I should NOT have let it complicate our homeschooling. Too much pressure on my teacher-side. Not good! Especially when the momma wears the teacher hat by herself!!! Even the dh can get confused about what his role should be. Not good! IMO - I hate that "The husband is the principal analogy" - Lame! IMO - The dad is the dad. Period. We never needed a principal; we just need a daddy sometimes. The right hat for the right task.

 

Parenting and homeschooling can slide into each other; the boundaries can blurr; and hsing can become very complicated. It's completely unnecessary - and NOT a good thing for the long-haul homeschooling momma!

 

Clear roles with clear boundaries = a less complicated picture. And that makes for a healthier outlook.

 

Let's just face it. What am I trying to say? I would have felt better SO many days at the end of the day if I had known that I was a GREAT teacher and a not-so-great parent RATHER than always feeling like I had failed as a teacher on those no-good-terrible-awful-yuckie-poo days. I had too many people in my life (family, doctors, the wise woman at the grocery check-out etc.) who were telling me that I wasn't fit to teach. If only they (and I) knew that I was a GREAT teacher; sometimes I was just a LOUSY parent. THAT would have been easier to deal with sometimes! :D:D:D Even the filled-with-the-wisdom-of-the-ages-and-the-brains-to-apply-it-to-MY-life gum-snapping lady who is sliding my cheese over the scanner admits that sometimes she is a lousy parent. She won't judge me for that one, now will she! :D:D

 

Have fun!

Keep on grinning!

Rock on, folks!

 

Peace,

Janice

 

Enjoy your little people

Enjoy your journey