Newly retired homeschooler!

[fischerl]

Welp, that's it. Twenty-one years and I'm finished. My youngest DD just graduated high school.

 

I'm not freaking out or anything; I'll still teach Spanish for our co-op and have plenty to keep me busy. It's just a strange, sad/happy feeling. No more home lessons to plan or assignment sheets to print out. And no more "did you finish your math?"

 

Anyone else "retired" and still hanging out here? How did you handle the adjustment?

[TammyinTN]

I have one year left with our last one....I'm sort of feeling sad about this.  

[fischerl]

Tammy—So how many years will it be for you when you're finished? Any plans for post-homeschool?

[purplejackmama]

Congrats! Did you homeschool your kids "all the way through?" Tell me it all worked out. Lie if you must ;)

[TravelingChris]

Congratulations!  I am newly retired too as of late May.  Yesterday, I threw into paper recycling the SAT and ACt prep books.

[mom@shiloh]

Congratulations to all of you retirerees (is that how you spell that?)  

 

[Luckymama]

Congratulations :party:

 

Three years left for me :D

[Jenny in Florida]

I "retired" from homeschooling about a year ago when my younger child graduated. I'm still hanging out here.

 

How have I handled the adjustment? Not well, to be truthful. 

 

I keep busy. I had already been tutoring online in a very part-time way for a year or so before my son finished, and I've continued that. I also took a second part-time job teaching at a tutoring center. And I volunteered one morning a week at a local elementary school for most of last school year. 

 

This month, I'm working a full-time temp job scoring standardized test essays.

 

I don't love any of it like I loved homeschooling, but I'm keeping my head down and moving forward.

[G5052]

Graduated one last month, two years to go.  

 

At DH's work HR provides a seminar and a retirement count-down list that starts at three years before your planned date.  So I must be in the retired-homeschooler count-down period.

 

I'm struggling, but so is my younger one.  They've had so many years side-by-side, and he'll be gone a lot even though he's going to school 15 minutes away.

 

I've enjoyed high school though.  We outsource some, and the mix has been nice.  I love these parts of high school:

• Reading their thoughts and seeing how their thinking has matured
• Having them tell me about a book they really loved and way
• Hearing how an outside teacher reinforced what I've been saying all along
• Having them far exceed me in Latin
• Handing them a diploma with the realization that you made it

Hard parts:

• Trying to juggle the workload with my work as a professor and online teacher.  Most of the time I don't feel like I do anything well, but it's mostly gone well in the end.
• Homeschooling through multiple family members with health issues, one with an out-of-state specialist that has to be seen frequently.
• Teaching them math.  Math is easy for me, hard for them. We decided to outsource my younger one next year because the dynamic fell apart this year. Older one did fine even though we didn't mesh at times.

When it's over, I'll keep on with my current pursuits.  I hope to teach locally and/or volunteer.  DH will likely be retired, so that will be a new dynamic to work through.

 

[Ellie]

Welp, that's it. Twenty-one years and I'm finished. My youngest DD just graduated high school.

 

I'm not freaking out or anything; I'll still teach Spanish for our co-op and have plenty to keep me busy. It's just a strange, sad/happy feeling. No more home lessons to plan or assignment sheets to print out. And no more "did you finish your math?"

 

Anyone else "retired" and still hanging out here? How did you handle the adjustment?

 

:party: :party: :party:

 

I haven't had actual homeschooled children for over 20 years. :D

 

I worked my way into retirement. I started an umbrella-type school when the dc were 10 and 13, and did that for 16 years, far past my own dc's graduations (we graduated them on their 16th bdays, since both were pretty much full-time community college student by then). I also did a homeschool newsletter (long story, lol), and so pretty much, between the school and the newsletter, I stayed involved with the homeschooling community.

 

And then I moved to Texas (bye bye, California homeschoolers), and found TWTM and a couple of other forums, and so here I am.

 

I had also become involved in activities outside of homeschooling, which I started when dds were at home, because I wanted to be prepared for when they left the nest: Scottish Country dance, South Bay Scottish Society, the Gideons, and eventually, hula. And there were the church activities, too, such as choir and women's ministries.

[ChemMommy]

Hard parts:

• Trying to juggle the workload with my work as a professor and online teacher.  Most of the time I don't feel like I do anything well, but it's mostly gone well in the end.
• Homeschooling through multiple family members with health issues, one with an out-of-state specialist that has to be seen frequently.
• Teaching them math.  Math is easy for me, hard for them. We decided to outsource my younger one next year because the dynamic fell apart this year. Older one did fine even though we didn't mesh at times.

When it's over, I'll keep on with my current pursuits.  I hope to teach locally and/or volunteer.  DH will likely be retired, so that will be a new dynamic to work through.

 

Similar here, but four years to go.  Two have graduated and two are still at home. I really miss the years we were all together. The two in college live at home, but we never see them. What a change!  The younger two really miss their siblings.

 

I juggled teaching college classes with homeschooling all the way through. I feel your pain. My girls now are in half of my office for the mornings, so they can get help as needed. Mostly, they teach themselves. I planned to "teach" them algebra this year, for example, but they told me they didn't need me and proceeded to teach themselves with minor help from me. At times, I don't feel needed.

 

Kid #3 has major health issues, so that always throws a monkey wrench into the mix.

 

Writing/literature discussions are the bane of my existence! UGH!!  I may farm that out for their 11th/12th grade years.  I also farm foreign languages....I'm mono-lingual and at my age, that won't be changing.

 

Congratulations to all of the new retirees.  Job well-done!

[fischerl]

Congrats! Did you homeschool your kids "all the way through?" Tell me it all worked out. Lie if you must ;)

 

Yes, I homeschooled all the way through, and...

 

It all worked out! I outsourced high school math, which helped immensely. (And a few other classes along the way, e.g. French for DD1). It was a great ride (not every day was great, but looking back it was a great adventure). I am so glad I stuck it out. Each of my kids has thanked me for homeschooling them—and that's no lie. :D

  :party:

[fischerl]

I have just a few years left, and I'm sure that I'm not going to miss the actual teaching and overseeing of lessons. Upper-level math is going to be the death of me!

 

I will miss our time together.

 

Fifiruth, can you hire a local college student to teach upper-level math? I don't think I could have done it myself!

[TechWife]

After homeschooling for ten years, I've been retired for a month. We homeschooled 3rd - 12th. I have no idea what the future really holds, honestly. 

[purplejackmama]

Yes, I homeschooled all the way through, and...

 

It all worked out! I outsourced high school math, which helped immensely. (And a few other classes along the way, e.g. French for DD1). It was a great ride (not every day was great, but looking back it was a great adventure). I am so glad I stuck it out. Each of my kids has thanked me for homeschooling them—and that's no lie. :D

:party:

I'm smiling with tears rolling down my cheeks. Thank you for sharing this. Gosh the days seem tough and the doubt so strong. You have encouraged me today!!

 

Thanks and congrats on starting your next chapter.

[PrincessMommy]

Congratulations!!

 

I retired about 5 yrs ago... after 19yrs homeschooling.   I'm trying to figure out what I want to do with the rest of my life.  I thought I'd have years ahead of me with all this time to myself... instead grandchildren came. :001_wub:  I watch my 2 grandchild 2x per week and that keeps me busy.  I still have one at home in brick and mortar school as well. 

[Anne in CA]

After 16 years of home schooling I sent my youngest to ps high school last year. I do think in her case it was the best place for her. She is doing very well, and the class she is in is very academically competitive and they have really sharpened her up the way that competition does.

 

I have a lot of work to do (dh and I own two restaurants that are fairly new) but I will probably always miss home schooling. It was a positive part of my life.

[momacacia]

Color me jealous, but I can't wait 'til we're done! I'm sure at that time I'll be sad that it "all went so fast" and I've got 18 more years if I hs the one in the oven right now so I can't say I'm looking forward to 18 more years of weekend planning, Monday mornings and 2 more kindergartens. Congrats on getting 3 through!!

[SapphireStitch]

I'm another one retiring this year! My son will be headed to private school for 8th grade; our plan right now is to keep him in that school through high school. It's been 21 years for me, too. My kids are 12 years apart in age, so they only overlapped one year of school (pre-K and senior...very easy combination!).

 

The biggest problem I've had so far with this decision is that I feel like I'm letting down some of my fellow homeschooling moms. I remember when I was younger feeling upset by homeschoolers who suddenly (from my perspective) put their kids in school. It felt like betrayal and disloyalty to our "cause". :-) Well, I've stretched and grown a lot since then, and I know their decisions were not about me, just as my decision now is not about anyone else. But I remember those feelings, and it causes me concern.

 

Our reasons:  13yo DS is Mr. Outgoing Social Extrovert stuck in a family of homebody introverts. He has talents that he can't use in a one-student home school; he has areas of knowledge that need to be stretched that I can't stretch. He needs to have his gifts polished and refined in ways that are beyond my reach. I love homeschooling elementary and early middle school...high school not so much. My daughter and I made it through, just barely, and we probably would have put her in school if there'd been a good option available for her. I will be 53yo this fall, I have a chronic illness that is disabling me more and more every year, I am just flat out TIRED of being a teacher, I want to be a wife and mom and do other things with my free time. A friend of mine counseled me yesterday that, after 21 years, it may take me a while to figure out who I really am. She may be right!

[TammyinTN]

Tammy—So how many years will it be for you when you're finished? Any plans for post-homeschool?

It will be 14 years total homeschooling.   I'm not sure exactly what I'll be doing post-homeschool--maybe spending more time with the grand-babies.  There will be 5 of them ( ages 4, 3, 3, 2 and a new one coming any day).  I would love to travel back to Europe and Asia.   Lots more reading and sewing projects.  

[Word Nerd]

Congratulations!

[Word Nerd]

 

The biggest problem I've had so far with this decision is that I feel like I'm letting down some of my fellow homeschooling moms. I remember when I was younger feeling upset by homeschoolers who suddenly (from my perspective) put their kids in school. It felt like betrayal and disloyalty to our "cause". :-) 

 

I can relate. I had the same concerns when I went back to working full time and opted to send the kids to PS rather than attempt to work and homeschool. My homeschooling friends were all supportive and understanding. The only ones who were negative about the decision were a couple of acquaintances from our local homeschooling group who I was never close to anyway; the only thing we had in common was homeschooling, so the friendship naturally ended when we no longer had that in common.

[fischerl]

The biggest problem I've had so far with this decision is that I feel like I'm letting down some of my fellow homeschooling moms. I remember when I was younger feeling upset by homeschoolers who suddenly (from my perspective) put their kids in school. It felt like betrayal and disloyalty to our "cause". :-) Well, I've stretched and grown a lot since then, and I know their decisions were not about me, just as my decision now is not about anyone else.

 

I'm really glad you've come to this conclusion. Each family is unique, and we need to decide for ourselves what is best for our kids. It's wonderful to be a part of such a huge community (homeschooling) but if you need to make a change for your child's sake (or even for the family's sake), by all means do it and don't feel guilty!

 

But I do know what you mean, as I felt the same way when I was younger. Sometimes it takes living a while in the trenches to put things in perspective.

[G5052]

The biggest problem I've had so far with this decision is that I feel like I'm letting down some of my fellow homeschooling moms. I remember when I was younger feeling upset by homeschoolers who suddenly (from my perspective) put their kids in school. It felt like betrayal and disloyalty to our "cause". :-) Well, I've stretched and grown a lot since then, and I know their decisions were not about me, just as my decision now is not about anyone else. But I remember those feelings, and it causes me concern.

 

Do what is right for your family, period. 

 

Many of our friends switched at the middle school or high school mark, and I have ALWAYS been supportive and have remained friends.  Some did for academic reasons, and others for sports or music. Several were afraid to tell me at first!  I can understand that some friendships may change, but I've made the effort and we're still going strong.

 

No apologies required.

[-M-]

Welp, that's it. Twenty-one years and I'm finished. My youngest DD just graduated high school.

 

I'm not freaking out or anything; I'll still teach Spanish for our co-op and have plenty to keep me busy. It's just a strange, sad/happy feeling. No more home lessons to plan or assignment sheets to print out. And no more "did you finish your math?"

 

Anyone else "retired" and still hanging out here? How did you handle the adjustment?

 

Although my youngest didn't graduate high school until last month, our home education journey ended about a year ago: While she and her sister were at the local college enrolling for Fall 2014 -- she as a dual-enrolled high school senior and her sister as a freshman -- they decided to take two summer classes, and *PRESTO, CHANGE-O!* eighteen years of homeschooling abruptly concluded. The 2014/15 academic year remained a reasonably busy one for me, though: I continued to serve as guidance counselor to both as they prepared college and scholarship applications (freshman and transfer). They enjoyed success in the process but have chosen to remain local, so my next task is to assist, as needed, when they each prepare transfer applications.

 

I had thought the adjustment would be more difficult, but because they still live at home, it has been quite comfortable, so far. Perhaps you should ask again once they say, "Yes," to their transfer institution. If they end up moving away, I suspect I will experience a more significant adjustment. *wry grin*

 

Since learning that both girls were fulltime students at the local college, several people -- both relatives and acquaintances -- have asked, "So, what are you going to do?" It's difficult to miss the chiding tone some of them have employed, as if they would like to ask, "When are you going back to work?" Until late 2008, I had a job -- or rather, jobs. In fact, for most of our home education journey, I worked assorted gigs in the interstices that parenting and teaching permitted, and much of my definition of self was once predicated on the pride I took in being a working writer. At some point, though, it no longer was. Shrug. It's funny that for many people -- including my own mother! -- these assorted gigs don't "count." And to be clear, their implicit "When are you going back to work?" does not seem to be about money, either; I think it's time. I can't decide, though, if they cannot imagine what they would do with their time if they weren't working, or if they can. Either way, I do wonder if  they're experiencing a degree of resentment as they're generally the same folks who have always thought my life was a little too Tom-Sawyer-ish. (These are also the sorts of relatives and acquaintances, who reply, "Another play?" or "Really? Archery?" or "But you went to the Field last month" when they hear our reply to "What did you do this weekend?" I can only be grateful that these people do not comprise my regular circle, right? *grin*)

 

So now I'm “all but retired,†from homeschooling and from work. Once upon a time ago, I would have thought this label both boring and impossibly old. Now? It feels… pretty awesome. It feels like a privilege. It feels… expansive, like I have all the time, space, and opportunity in the world to envision the what-comes-next. And I am fully embracing it.

 

Over the last year, I have completed several MOOCs. I became a literacy volunteer and have resumed my Spanish studies as a result of that. (I am taking a conversational Spanish course this summer and am enrolled in a conventional college course for the fall.) I am learning the flute. (Tomorrow I play the long etude to pass out the Rubank Elementary book. I began playing just under nine months ago, so, yes, I am quite pleased with my progress.) I am doing more walking, biking, and birding; more reading, thinking, and learning.... As I said, though, ask me again in year. If the Misses decide to move away, well, that will be quite an adjustment for me.