When losing weight becomes unhealthy.

[Night Elf]

Apparently I've become obsessed with losing weight. I freely admit I spend a lot of time thinking about it. I log every bite I eat and I weigh myself every day on a scale that weighs by two tenths of a pound. So, what I've gotten in the habit of doing is trying to beat my low weight. When I weighed in one pound range, I was happy. Then my weight went down to the next pound range and I was happy so worked hard to maintain it there. Then it went down to the next pound range and I was even happier so tried to maintain that. Unfortunately, even though I logically understand that weight fluxuates on a daily basis, I'd feel depressed if my weight went back up the previous pound range. I'd watch what I ate, keeping to the bottom of my WW point range to get back down. Well, DH staged a one man intervention this weekend and dd17 agreed with him. He gave me some choices. I could not track food for a while, stop weighing myself each day, or pick a goal weight and stick to it, not allowing myself to go below it by eating more when my weight does get below the goal weight. I chose sticking to a goal weight. This is why I've been looking at nutrition the past couple of days. I want to transfer my obsession to something different without letting it become another obsession. (BTW, I have bipolar 2 so obsessing about something is second nature to me.) Instead of trying to lose weight, I'd like to just get healthier. I'm already trying to get back into an exercise routine. That is very hard work for me. With WW, I've been able to eat whatever I wanted in moderation and it's been great. I love that about WW. But I could be making better choices. A nice big spinach salad daily would be good, for example. I'd love to eat fresh vegetables rather than canned, and I wish I ate more fruits. I have a harder time with protein because I'm losing my taste for meat but don't have any other protein sources. In fact, I need to look into that, alternative protein sources.

 

Anyway, DH said he thought I was easing into an eating disorder and with my personality it's a real possibility. Does it really sound that bad? I'm willing to make the changes he asks because I trust him. He's the one who put his foot down and got me into a psychiatrist where I was finally diagnosed with bipolar. So yeah, he knows me very well. But there is still a part of me that thinks what I was doing wasn't really all that bad. It's true I'm at the low end of my healthy weight range but I haven't yet reached it. DH just thinks I won't stop, that I'll always feel the need to lose just one more pound. I guess I see his point. It just feels really good to lose. I'm really happy with my weight loss and I'm just terrified I'll gain it back.

[Carol in Cal.]

You know, I don't have first hand knowledge of this, but that does sound kind of OTT.  Especially since you're talking about moving to the low end of the recommended weight range.

 

I wonder whether you could set a goal of 'balance'?  That means, enough exercise but not too much, enough weight loss but not too much, a good balance of types of foods, an optimized health routine that is really a routine--something you stick with and are stabilized with, not something you're continually advancing.

[abacus2]

I think your husband's evaluation is more reliable than the internet's opinion based on what you wrote. You know he is trustworthy, trust him. 

[Plink]

Your husband is right. Focusing too much on the scale and logging every bite is not something healthy people do.  

 

Your thought of transferring that obsession to over-monitoring the types of food you intake or your exercise sounds just as dangerous.  I'm worried that rather than fixing the problem, it would compound it.  You have a good counselor if I remember right.  I'd give them a call and set up a time to draft a realistic treatment plan.  

[clementine]

Yep, sounds like an eating disorder could have been the result of continuing the way you were.  You are so lucky that your dh wasn't just interested in a skinny you, but in your mental health even more!!  

[Kiara.I]

You're talking about transferring your obsession to something else and then not letting that something else become an obsession.  I think that's a great plan, but do you have the mechanics to put that plan into action?  I do think that talking to your counsellor about this is a high priority.

[kwg]

I like what abacus said.

 

And clementine! Not only was dh paying attention to you but he said something instead of turning around and sticking his head in the sand!

 

Maybe look at what it takes to be a 'healthy person'- there is the physical side which sounds like you got that. There is also emotional, spiritual....maybe obsess over another side of the triangle for a little while  :coolgleamA: ...It certainly can not hurt!

 

Which choice did you go with?

 

 

[Night Elf]

Your husband is right. Focusing too much on the scale and logging every bite is not something healthy people do.  

 

Your thought of transferring that obsession to over-monitoring the types of food you intake or your exercise sounds just as dangerous.  I'm worried that rather than fixing the problem, it would compound it.  You have a good counselor if I remember right.  I'd give them a call and set up a time to draft a realistic treatment plan.  

 

Actually I don't see the therapist anymore, only my psychiatrist for meds. But now that you write this, maybe I should make an appointment. I really didn't see this as a problem until DH brought it to my attention. And I do trust him, as a PP said, but it's still a hard pill to swallow because I've been doing this for a while and it's become my routine. I really don't want a new obsession. I just want to be happy with where I am. I just thought if I started thinking about health instead, it would be a better use of my time. Yeah, I'll talk to DH about going back to therapy. He'll think that's a good idea.

[Night Elf]

I like what abacus said.

 

And clementine! Not only was dh paying attention to you but he said something instead of turning around and sticking his head in the sand!

 

Maybe look at what it takes to be a 'healthy person'- there is the physical side which sounds like you got that. There is also emotional, spiritual....maybe obsess over another side of the triangle for a little while  :coolgleamA: ...It certainly can not hurt!

 

Which choice did you go with?

 

I'm going to maintain my weight. I'm 134 right now and I promised DH I wouldn't let it drop below that. He'd also like me to feel okay if it goes back up to 135. That's something I'll need to discuss with a therapist because that sounds really hard to do.

[Ottakee]

I think the counselor is a great idea.  It is wonderful that you have a supportive husband that really cares about you and your health.......and that you listen to him.  If needed, also place a call to your psychiatrist.  I know for my daughter when she becomes more obsessive, it can signal a start in cycling and with this time of year it is more likely.

[Paige]

It would be really hard to maintain a specific 1 lb weight range. 134 may be perfectly healthy, I don't know. But so many things can push you over to 135 or down to 133 in an instant that have nothing to do with what you eat. I think a good plan would be to set a healthy 5lb range that you'll be happy with being anywhere in that range. Whether that 5lb range is 134-139 or 130-135, or something in between depends on you, your body type, and your comfort zone. 

[Night Elf]

It would be really hard to maintain a specific 1 lb weight range. 134 may be perfectly healthy, I don't know. But so many things can push you over to 135 or down to 133 in an instant that have nothing to do with what you eat. I think a good plan would be to set a healthy 5lb range that you'll be happy with being anywhere in that range. Whether that 5lb range is 134-139 or 130-135, or something in between depends on you, your body type, and your comfort zone. 

 

I hear you and I understand what you're saying, but the idea freaks me out. I'll have to work on that. The more I think about this, the more it makes me sad to realize I'm not in a good place about this. I have always said I'm happy with my weight and yet it feels so good to keep losing, so I can't have it both ways, can I? *sigh*

[MotherGoose]

How about throwing out the scale or arranging some way where you can only weigh once a week? Your weight fluctuates from morning to night even and with that kind of detail it seems that it gives you too much over which you can obsess.

[kiana]

Yes. If the idea of gaining 1 lb is freaking you out, this is not healthy, getting towards eating disorder territory, and you probably need to see a professional about this. It is great that you are getting a handle on this now while you are still in a healthy weight range rather than when it has started to seriously affect your health.

[Upward Journey]

How about throwing out the scale or arranging some way where you can only weigh once a week? Your weight fluctuates from morning to night even and with that kind of detail it seems that it gives you too much over which you can obsess.

 

This is my suggestion as well.  As a btdt person, it is what I had to do.  I haven't owned a scale in 25 years.  I don't want to go back to that place, it was scary, and I know that I could easily become obsessed with my weight again if the tool to do it was here in the house.  It's much easier to tell yourself that you're going to stay in a size 6 or 8 jean than to tell yourself you'll never weight more than 134 lbs.  It gives you some flexibility, and it gives you a concrete way to know when you maybe aren't eating enough.

[Pawz4me]

I've BTDT and I think your DH is absolutely right.  Your obsessive weighing, challenging yourself to go ever lower, depression over even a very small and very normal weight fluctuation and recording every bite of food eaten are all behaviors I was engaging in.  I was labeled as "borderline anorexic."  The only thing that jolted me off the road to a full blown eating disorder was wanting to get pregnant much more than I wanted to control my weight.  My very blunt OB-GYN told me I had no chance at all of ever getting pregnant until I put on some weight and gave up my over the top obsession with dieting and exercising.  At first I made myself stop weighing every day.  It was incredibly hard.  It was like breaking an addiction.  To begin with I still allowed myself to weigh once a week.  Eventually I was able to stuff the scale into the very back of a little used closet, and it stayed there for many, many years.  It was the best thing I ever did for my physical and mental health

[StephanieZ]

Weighing just once or twice a week sounds really smart. Ideally with a scale that only weighs in 1 lb increments. 

 

For diet, adding some focus on whole healthy foods would be good, but not if you used that as an excuse to obsess/exclude foods. If you do it, I'd try something like making sure to eat 5 servings of fresh vegetables each day as well as, say, one non-meat protein source (dried beans, eggs, etc.). But, do NOT do it in such a way that has you excluding foods, as that'd be an easy way to get into trouble. Just focus on working healthy items into your diet, not on excluding things. Maybe stick with WW points since that works well for you, but add in some more attention to the quality of the foods you are eating. 

 

If you want to focus on exercise, I'd be sure to keep it mellow and non-obsessive, too, like, say focusing on moving your body for an hour most days of the week. No counting calories burned/etc in a way that might encourage you to keep increasing that . . . IME, moving outside is really good for your mind and soul, so in my ideal world, that's what I'd advise. (A walk, a hike, a bike ride, a run, etc.)

 

Trusting your husband, touching base with your psychologist, etc, sounds smart. Losing weight can trigger psychological trauma in plenty of women, since gaining weight can be a way to protect yourself from trauma, etc, so it seems smart to schedule some visits to your therapist/whoever prescribes your meds/etc periodically during this journey to help keep you on track and avoid problems. 

 

 

[Greta]

But so many things can push you over to 135 or down to 133 in an instant that have nothing to do with what you eat.

Agreed. I've read that your weight can fluctuate by as much as 2 pounds just due to how well hydrated you are (or aren't)!

 

Night Elf, would you consider throwing out your scale and using a tape measure instead? Measurements can't fluctuate as wildly or quickly as weight, so it could actually give you a clearer picture. And while most of us talk about weight, what we really mean is size.

 

As far as the psychological health of this goes, your husband knows you well, and loves you deeply. If he thinks there's something wrong, I'd say there's a good chance he's right. Trust him, and get outside help if you need it. :grouphug:

[Night Elf]

Weighing just once or twice a week sounds really smart. Ideally with a scale that only weighs in 1 lb increments. 

 

For diet, adding some focus on whole healthy foods would be good, but not if you used that as an excuse to obsess/exclude foods. If you do it, I'd try something like making sure to eat 5 servings of fresh vegetables each day as well as, say, one non-meat protein source (dried beans, eggs, etc.). But, do NOT do it in such a way that has you excluding foods, as that'd be an easy way to get into trouble. Just focus on working healthy items into your diet, not on excluding things. Maybe stick with WW points since that works well for you, but add in some more attention to the quality of the foods you are eating. 

 

If you want to focus on exercise, I'd be sure to keep it mellow and non-obsessive, too, like, say focusing on moving your body for an hour most days of the week. No counting calories burned/etc in a way that might encourage you to keep increasing that . . . IME, moving outside is really good for your mind and soul, so in my ideal world, that's what I'd advise. (A walk, a hike, a bike ride, a run, etc.)

 

Trusting your husband, touching base with your psychologist, etc, sounds smart. Losing weight can trigger psychological trauma in plenty of women, since gaining weight can be a way to protect yourself from trauma, etc, so it seems smart to schedule some visits to your therapist/whoever prescribes your meds/etc periodically during this journey to help keep you on track and avoid problems. 

 

I bolded two things to respond to. I'd love to add in more healthy foods. I really do eat too much processed stuff. But I honestly don't think I'd ever exclude any foods except ones I don't like. One reason I love WW is because I don't have to exclude or restrict any foods. Just going down to 150 carbs a day was kind of hard but it was doable and I've managed to do it for over a year now, so it's become easier. As for exercise, I simply hate it. I always have. Of all the different things I've tried, the only thing that I can tolerate is walking on the treadmill and that's because I can watch tv while doing it. It's just such a chore and I dread it. I'm trying to walk 3 days a week but I haven't even done that in the past couple of weeks. I don't see how I'll ever become obsessive about exercise. Ugh! My DH is a runner and loves it. I keep telling him he's a might touched in the head. :)

 

[SparklyUnicorn]

BTDT...not a full blown eating disorder, but becoming obsessed. 

 

I hate exercise too.  I keep hoping to find something that's just built in where I don't think of it as exercise.  And running?  Oh no..I don't run.  LOL

 

 

[Night Elf]

How about throwing out the scale or arranging some way where you can only weigh once a week? Your weight fluctuates from morning to night even and with that kind of detail it seems that it gives you too much over which you can obsess.

 

This is going to sound like excuses but I'll tell you my reasoning. I weigh myself every morning under the same conditions and at the same time. My weight usually fluctuates within a half pound or so. If it goes up, I am careful of what I eat that day so it doesn't go up again. That's why I watch the scale. It truly keeps me where I want to be. DH suggested I weigh myself only once a week. I'm not ready to do that. Just promising to stay above 134 is enough for me right now. I don't think I can handle too many changes at once. This is hard thinking and doing, kwim?

[SparklyUnicorn]

This is going to sound like excuses but I'll tell you my reasoning. I weigh myself every morning under the same conditions and at the same time. My weight usually fluctuates within a half pound or so. If it goes up, I am careful of what I eat that day so it doesn't go up again. That's why I watch the scale. It truly keeps me where I want to be. DH suggested I weigh myself only once a week. I'm not ready to do that. Just promising to stay above 134 is enough for me right now. I don't think I can handle too many changes at once. This is hard thinking and doing, kwim?

 

I threw my scale out, but I do hear you on using it as a tool.  If you are only weighing once a day that doesn't sound too crazy to me.  I was weighing myself about 10 times a day.

 

I can't recall the last time I stepped on a scale.  I just HAD to get rid of it for my sanity.  Not that I suggest you do the same! 

[Night Elf]

Agreed. I've read that your weight can fluctuate by as much as 2 pounds just due to how well hydrated you are (or aren't)!

 

Night Elf, would you consider throwing out your scale and using a tape measure instead? Measurements can't fluctuate as wildly or quickly as weight, so it could actually give you a clearer picture. And while most of us talk about weight, what we really mean is size.

 

As far as the psychological health of this goes, your husband knows you well, and loves you deeply. If he thinks there's something wrong, I'd say there's a good chance he's right. Trust him, and get outside help if you need it. :grouphug:

 

I had my weight go up 2 lbs. overnight one time. I was floored. My mom figured I must have had too much sodium that day. The only thing I ate different was I had some Campbells soup. So yeah, that was kind of freaky. I don't ever use a tape measure. I wish I had when I first started WW. My only gauge besides the number on the scale was how my clothes fit. And right now I'm wearing jeans that are too big. I can slide them off with effort. I tried on the next size down and they are too tight. I don't like tight fitting clothes. So I figured if I lost another few pounds those jeans would fit. That's not going to happen now. I'll just have to buy a belt. Or maybe I should go back to wearing all skirts.

[SparklyUnicorn]

I had my weight go up 2 lbs. overnight one time. I was floored. My mom figured I must have had too much sodium that day. The only thing I ate different was I had some Campbells soup. So yeah, that was kind of freaky. I don't ever use a tape measure. I wish I had when I first started WW. My only gauge besides the number on the scale was how my clothes fit. And right now I'm wearing jeans that are too big. I can slide them off with effort. I tried on the next size down and they are too tight. I don't like tight fitting clothes. So I figured if I lost another few pounds those jeans would fit. That's not going to happen now. I'll just have to buy a belt. Or maybe I should go back to wearing all skirts.

 

That's a completely normal fluctuation though.

 

Not saying it is an enjoyable one, but yes normal.

[Carol in Cal.]

Skirts are definitely more forgiving than pants, size wise.

[Greta]

I had my weight go up 2 lbs. overnight one time. I was floored. My mom figured I must have had too much sodium that day. The only thing I ate different was I had some Campbells soup. So yeah, that was kind of freaky. I don't ever use a tape measure. I wish I had when I first started WW. My only gauge besides the number on the scale was how my clothes fit. And right now I'm wearing jeans that are too big. I can slide them off with effort. I tried on the next size down and they are too tight. I don't like tight fitting clothes. So I figured if I lost another few pounds those jeans would fit. That's not going to happen now. I'll just have to buy a belt. Or maybe I should go back to wearing all skirts.

I didn't think to use a tape measure when I started either, and I wish that I had now. Going by the way your clothes fit can also be better than going by the number on the scale. But if you're between sizes then that's frustrating. If you're open to new brands/styles then you might do some shopping and see if you find something new that you love. A size 4 in one brand can fit very different than a size 4 in that same brand but a different style, or a different brand. Surely you can find something out there somewhere that fits you well where you are right now, so that you don't feel pressured by your clothing to lose more weight.

[Night Elf]

I didn't think to use a tape measure when I started either, and I wish that I had now. Going by the way your clothes fit can also be better than going by the number on the scale. But if you're between sizes then that's frustrating. If you're open to new brands/styles then you might do some shopping and see if you find something new that you love. A size 4 in one brand can fit very different than a size 4 in that same brand but a different style, or a different brand. Surely you can find something out there somewhere that fits you well where you are right now, so that you don't feel pressured by your clothing to lose more weight.

 

Oh I hate shopping. I prefer my jeans to fit loosely and not hug my body in any way, but my current jeans fit just a little too loosely. The back sags which is what bothers me the most. I've worn this same brand/style since I was at my heaviest because it felt the best. When the waist got too big and the back starting sagging too much, I'd go down to the next size. That just doesn't seem to be happening now. Maybe I'll go try something new. Ugh, shopping!

[jenn-]

I hear you and I understand what you're saying, but the idea freaks me out. I'll have to work on that. The more I think about this, the more it makes me sad to realize I'm not in a good place about this. I have always said I'm happy with my weight and yet it feels so good to keep losing, so I can't have it both ways, can I? *sigh*

 

If it makes you feel any better, I'm right there with you.  Way back in 2007 when I decided to join my DH in a weight loss program, I weighed 185lbs and I didn't "feel" fat.  I was going to loose weight with dh because at nearly 300lbs he really had to do something.  I decided to set my goal at 150lbs which is where I was post DD and pre all the other kids.  My body seemed to like that weight and I didn't have to do anything to maintain it before the others.  At 150, I felt fat.  The focus of seeing those numbers fall made me focus on something I had been fine with before.  I said, 145 would be okay as I definitely wasn't too thin. Then 140, 135, 130 was an amazing feeling because this put me back into my junior year of high school range. That was before I looked like skin and bones my senior year after preemptively losing the "Freshman 15" that I was warned about by some college girls.  Now I'm bouncing around the upper 120's in the morning and I'm trying really hard to be okay with the 125-130 range.  I look in the mirror and still see those trouble spots though, so it isn't easy to fix the mind into shutting up.  Those trouble spots are loose skin from having twins, and intellectually I know that no number on the scale will fix it, but that doesn't stop the irrational side of me from wanting to try.

 

I have good days and bad days with my eating.  I'm trying to make sure that what does go in on my bad days (aka I barely eat) is good for me.  Not in a keeping the weight off sort of way, but in a vitamins and nutrients sort of way.  Then I have my days that I have zero choice but to eat.  Those are my taekwondo days.  I've btdt with not enough in my system and it goes really really bad (and the lecture from my instructors just isn't worth it).

 

I'm with everyone that says put the scale away for right now and let your pants help you know where you are.  You promised your DH you wouldn't drop any more weight so trying for that next size down isn't an option.  That means that your too loose pants will let you know if you are starting to gain by getting snug.  Take what you have learned from WW and apply it to maintaining your current weight.  Start taking in more of those free foods and 1 pointers that they allow.  That should up your calorie intake just enough to stop the weight loss, but not enough to make it feel like you are going to be gaining it back. 

[jenn-]

Oh I hate shopping. I prefer my jeans to fit loosely and not hug my body in any way, but my current jeans fit just a little too loosely. The back sags which is what bothers me the most. I've worn this same brand/style since I was at my heaviest because it felt the best. When the waist got too big and the back starting sagging too much, I'd go down to the next size. That just doesn't seem to be happening now. Maybe I'll go try something new. Ugh, shopping!

 

Have you been wearing these pants for a while?  Did you try a new pair in your current size?  I find my jeans get stretched out after a while.

[kwg]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm right there with you.  Way back in 2007 when I decided to join my DH in a weight loss program, I weighed 185lbs and I didn't "feel" fat.  I was going to loose weight with dh because at nearly 300lbs he really had to do something.  I decided to set my goal at 150lbs which is where I was post DD and pre all the other kids.  My body seemed to like that weight and I didn't have to do anything to maintain it before the others.  At 150, I felt fat.  The focus of seeing those numbers fall made me focus on something I had been fine with before.  I said, 145 would be okay as I definitely wasn't too thin. Then 140, 135, 130 was an amazing feeling because this put me back into my junior year of high school range. That was before I looked like skin and bones my senior year after preemptively losing the "Freshman 15" that I was warned about by some college girls.  Now I'm bouncing around the upper 120's in the morning and I'm trying really hard to be okay with the 125-130 range.  I look in the mirror and still see those trouble spots though, so it isn't easy to fix the mind into shutting up.  Those trouble spots are loose skin from having twins, and intellectually I know that no number on the scale will fix it, but that doesn't stop the irrational side of me from wanting to try.

 

I have good days and bad days with my eating.  I'm trying to make sure that what does go in on my bad days (aka I barely eat) is good for me.  Not in a keeping the weight off sort of way, but in a vitamins and nutrients sort of way.  Then I have my days that I have zero choice but to eat.  Those are my taekwondo days.  I've btdt with not enough in my system and it goes really really bad (and the lecture from my instructors just isn't worth it).

 

I'm with everyone that says put the scale away for right now and let your pants help you know where you are.  You promised your DH you wouldn't drop any more weight so trying for that next size down isn't an option.  That means that your too loose pants will let you know if you are starting to gain by getting snug.  Take what you have learned from WW and apply it to maintaining your current weight.  Start taking in more of those free foods and 1 pointers that they allow.  That should up your calorie intake just enough to stop the weight loss, but not enough to make it feel like you are going to be gaining it back. 

 

 

What is that do you think? Like before when you weighed more you did not feel fat ,but when you as you weighed less you did?  I do that too! (or did when I was smaller)

[Night Elf]

If it makes you feel any better, I'm right there with you.  Way back in 2007 when I decided to join my DH in a weight loss program, I weighed 185lbs and I didn't "feel" fat.  I was going to loose weight with dh because at nearly 300lbs he really had to do something.  I decided to set my goal at 150lbs which is where I was post DD and pre all the other kids.  My body seemed to like that weight and I didn't have to do anything to maintain it before the others.  At 150, I felt fat.  The focus of seeing those numbers fall made me focus on something I had been fine with before.  I said, 145 would be okay as I definitely wasn't too thin. Then 140, 135, 130 was an amazing feeling because this put me back into my junior year of high school range. That was before I looked like skin and bones my senior year after preemptively losing the "Freshman 15" that I was warned about by some college girls.  Now I'm bouncing around the upper 120's in the morning and I'm trying really hard to be okay with the 125-130 range.  I look in the mirror and still see those trouble spots though, so it isn't easy to fix the mind into shutting up.  Those trouble spots are loose skin from having twins, and intellectually I know that no number on the scale will fix it, but that doesn't stop the irrational side of me from wanting to try.

 

I'm not bothered by how I look really. I look like the ladies in my family. We carry weight in our stomachs. What I don't like is that my jeans are sagging in the back. I'm sorry to hear you've been doing the same thing as me. It sucks to have this kind of thinking dominate, especially when it's leading into something unhealthy.

[Night Elf]

Have you been wearing these pants for a while?  Did you try a new pair in your current size?  I find my jeans get stretched out after a while.

 

Yes, I have had them a while. I didn't think to try the same size on. I didn't realize that was a thing. When I go shopping, I'll try them and see. I'm really not bothered by the number on the label. I'm worried about how it looks in the back. I don't want jeans that hug my body.

[Night Elf]

What is that do you think? Like before when you weighed more you did not feel fat ,but when you as you weighed less you did?  I do that too! (or did when I was smaller)

 

Hmm.. to be honest, I really don't feel that I'm fat. I just like seeing the number on the scale go down or at least stay the same as the day before. So I'm more obsessed with the actual number than how I look. As I just said above, I am bothered by how my jeans look on me though. I'll go shopping and see if I can find something that looks better but it won't bother me if my size doesn't change or even goes up a size because I know brands vary so much.

[jenn-]

What is that do you think? Like before when you weighed more you did not feel fat ,but when you as you weighed less you did?  I do that too! (or did when I was smaller)

 

Exactly.  Looking at pictures now from back then, I can tell I definitely needed to lose some weight, but mentally it wasn't an issue for me then.  I think I just assumed it would eventually come off on its own.  I had only stopped nursing my youngest a few months prior and as my OB put it, my body was designed to be pregnant in a 3rd world country.  I never had morning sickness so I easily gained all pregnancy and my body didn't give up a pound while nursing :glare: .  It wasn't until I started focusing on the weight loss that I develop the issues on how I looked.

[mamaraby]

I threw my scale out, but I do hear you on using it as a tool. If you are only weighing once a day that doesn't sound too crazy to me. I was weighing myself about 10 times a day.

I don't think that any of it is necessarily bad if you can separate the emotional component from the data gathering. In other words, if you were to plot all of those measurements and then looked at the data over time you'd be able to see the over all trend and use that as your measure.

 

So, I can weigh myself once a day and then enter that in MFP. MFP will graph that for me and in the app I can see it over a 3mo period of time (on their website I can look at the last year). Then what you're looking for is the overall trend (in my case down because I have had weight to lose and still do). If you're trying to maintain what you'd see is individual spikes and dips all centered around a plateau that is your actual weight. You can't focus on the spikes and dips because they're influenced by a number of factors which include hydration level, salt intake, limitations and imperfections of your measurement device (the scale), etc.

 

So, if I eat out somewhere and consume something that has more added sugar/salt than I would otherwise normally have and then weigh myself at home the day after I can be up as much as 5lbs. As the week goes on, I'll lose something like 1lb a day and in a week's time I'll return to where I was before or slightly under. That doesn't mean I gained that much weight and then lost that much weight. It's pretty much impossible to gain 5lbs in a day. I might have been up a smaller amount. It might have been all extra water. It's probably a combination of things that are nearly impossible to separate with the tools I have at my disposal. In the longer view, I'm still on trend when I look at the graph.

 

It's like when people first go on a diet (and especially a low carb diet, but it's true for diets in general). They'll lose a crazy amount of weight at first as their body dumps water and glycogen in response to the dietary changes. It may be incredibly gratifying, but it's not necessarily indicative of fat loss. Hidden in the midst of all that noise (so to speak) is the actual fat loss which is definitely smaller. It's also why people will gain weight at first if they switch from a low-carb to a higher carb diet or even if they just eat more carbs. It doesn't mean they've put on fat. It's probably water and/or glycogen in the muscles. It's a normal, albeit frustrating, response.

 

If you can't separate the emotional aspect from the data gathering in whatever form it might take, then that's a good sign that something needs to change. The thing is, though, just switching to a different measure isn't necessarily going to solve the problem because *every* measurement (weight, calories, measurements, the way your clothes fit, etc) is going to be prone to noise. It's going to be imperfect and it's going to fluctuate in ways that don't correlate with actual fat gain/loss. I think learning to deal with that is as important as reaching one's goal.

[Greta]

Oh I hate shopping. I prefer my jeans to fit loosely and not hug my body in any way, but my current jeans fit just a little too loosely. The back sags which is what bothers me the most. I've worn this same brand/style since I was at my heaviest because it felt the best. When the waist got too big and the back starting sagging too much, I'd go down to the next size. That just doesn't seem to be happening now. Maybe I'll go try something new. Ugh, shopping!

 

 

I can relate.  I used to love shopping when I was younger, but I have no patience for it now.  It doesn't seem fun any more, it just feels like work!  I do most of my shopping on the internet.  Saves me the drive, the time, and the hassle of dealing with the mall or other local shopping centers.  But it does add the hassle of having to ship back things that did't fit or otherwise didn't work.  So it's a trade-off.  But it works for me.

[nevergiveup]

It doesn't really sound to me like you like your body much.  You sound more in love with a number.

Is 134 right for you?  Who knows?  You might be skinny fat, which is unhealthy.

 

[Whereneverever]

I'm really glad you're getting this addressed now. I've struggled with an eating disorder since middle school and I'm still not over it. There's times I'm better and times I'm worse, but it never has been good enough to the point I can own a scale. When I go to the doctor I have to be weighed backwards so I can't see it. Going by pants size works well like a PP said. When I'm doing really well I'm a 6. I'm currently struggling to stay in a 0. 

[Word Nerd]

Your DH sounds like a wise man who cares a lot about you and your well-being. That pattern may or may not have led to an eating disorder, but it does sound like an unhealthy compulsion or fixation.