Ignore this thread!

[Critterfixer]

Rice Pudding

2 cups of water

1/4 tsp salt

1 cup medium grain rice (I will use a mix of medium, arborio, long grain, whatever I have)

4 cups milk

1 cup cream

2/3 cup sugar

2 tsp vanilla extract

1/4 tsp to 1/2 tsp almond extract (optional)

 

Bring water to boil in a large sauce pan. Add the rice and the salt. Cover and cook on low until most of the water is absorbed, but not all. Takes around 10-15 minutes depending on the type of rice. Add the milk, cream, and sugar. Cook, uncovered, on low heat until it thickens, stirring frequently. This can take a while--30 to 40 minutes. Add the vanilla extract and almond extract if using. Serve warm or cold. It's yummy.

You can use all whole milk, and some cream, or use milk and half and half. I typically just use 2% milk and cream. It's easier.

[Slache]

1 hour ago, Renai said:

Sounds like my husband. Flip phone extraordinaire. His boss still insists on texting him. And I have to retrieve them...

The only way I know how is to cook the rice first, add milk and simmer with sugar and cinnamon until desired consistency. That's all we do.

Dehydrated horchata.

26 minutes ago, Paradox5 said:

My washing machine smells bad! I’ve done all the tricks I know of: hot wash with a galloon of white vinegar. I cannot use bleach. Allergy. 
 

And my vacuum smells bad, too. 

Time to move!

[Slache]

Mary's decided not to be a cannibal.

We are a normal family.

[Critterfixer]

15 minutes ago, Slache said:

Mary's decided not to be a cannibal.

We are a normal family.

Good plan. 

[Renai]

Gymnast tells me she has bad dreams of my demise and wakes telling me she's glad I'm not dead.

[Slache]

Ok. Next week is baked garlic chicken with roasted veggies, kima, and tuna salad with fried veggies. Lunches are lettuce chicken wraps and vegetarian taco salad.

[Wheres Toto]

3 minutes ago, Servant4Christ said:

 

3. To store, press plastic wrap directly on the surface of the pudding. This is what prevents that nasty pudding skin on top!

Is the pudding skin like the chocolate pudding skin?  Cause I LOVE that.  

[Slache]

22 minutes ago, Where's Toto? said:

Is the pudding skin like the chocolate pudding skin?  Cause I LOVE that.  

Please don't do this again.

[Slache]

My method of ITTing:

“When you are a bear of very little brain, and you think of things, you find sometimes that a thing which seemed very thinkish inside you is quite different when it gets out into the open and has other people looking at it.” –Winnie the Pooh

[Slache]

5 minutes ago, Paradox5 said:

I don’t know how to add links from my phone.

When you type at the top of the box there is bold, italics, underline, emoji, then link. So copy the link from the website at the top of the page that you want to link, highlight the word that you wish to act as a link and a box should pop up. The top of the box should have the word that you have chosen. Leave that alone. In the next line you will paste the link that you copied. Then hit okay.

[Susan in TN]

3 hours ago, Critterfixer said:

Good plan. 

How's your back/neck?

[Susan in TN]

I have no strong feelings for or against pudding skin.  Critter's recipe looks amazing.

I made it through rehearsal with nary a scratch.  My shoulder/neck is doing so much better.  No real pain today - just a bit of stiffness in my neck.  I am a stiff-necked people.  

It seems that tomorrow is when Extra Things start Happening and don't stop until December 18th.  One day at a time.  (At least I don't have anyone in dance or theatre!)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I love chocolate pudding skin. I have never seen any other kind of pudding skin. 

[Jean in Newcastle]

Day 15 accomplished 

[Jean in Newcastle]

5 hours ago, Critterfixer said:

Good plan. 

Critter got the booyah

[Slache]

Husband is wro- I mean we're having a disagreement and I want your opinion.

Parent owns a house, child rents an apartment. Parent says child can no longer do laundry at house. Child does not want to pay for laundry so child stops by a few times a week when child knows parent is working, puts laundry in washing machine and picks it up in a few days knowing parent will have rotated it in the necessity of doing parent household laundry.

The wise and all knowing Slache says parent needs to pull clothes from washer and throw them on the dirty floor. Matt says that's vindictive, I say it's showing that laundry will not be done. He says find a different way to show the boundary but neither of us could think of one.

Ok, go!

[Slache]

Good morning.

[Susan in TN]

32 minutes ago, Slache said:

Husband is wro- I mean we're having a disagreement and I want your opinion.

Parent owns a house, child rents an apartment. Parent says child can no longer do laundry at house. Child does not want to pay for laundry so child stops by a few times a week when child knows parent is working, puts laundry in washing machine and picks it up in a few days knowing parent will have rotated it in the necessity of doing parent household laundry.

The wise and all knowing Slache says parent needs to pull clothes from washer and throw them on the dirty floor. Matt says that's vindictive, I say it's showing that laundry will not be done. He says find a different way to show the boundary but neither of us could think of one.

Ok, go!

Trash bag on front porch.  New locks on doors.

Edited November 22, 2019 by Susan in TN

[Wheres Toto]

46 minutes ago, Slache said:

Husband is wro- I mean we're having a disagreement and I want your opinion.

Parent owns a house, child rents an apartment. Parent says child can no longer do laundry at house. Child does not want to pay for laundry so child stops by a few times a week when child knows parent is working, puts laundry in washing machine and picks it up in a few days knowing parent will have rotated it in the necessity of doing parent household laundry.

The wise and all knowing Slache says parent needs to pull clothes from washer and throw them on the dirty floor. Matt says that's vindictive, I say it's showing that laundry will not be done. He says find a different way to show the boundary but neither of us could think of one.

Ok, go!

Stupid question but has the child been told to stop doing that and if it continues there clothing will NOT be switched around but will be pulled out and put in a bag to mold and mildew?

If child was doing the entire batch of laundry, I wouldn't have a problem with them doing it, but dropping off expecting someone else to finish shouldn't happen without prior approval.  

[Wheres Toto]

Happy Friday!  Last day of classes and then I'm off for a week.  And Friday is my favorite day.   I like my teenagers the best, we have to best discussions.

OF course, I have to clean house this weekend because MIL is coming to stay next week, dh is going down to get her this weekend and bringing her back after Thanksgiving.  I especially have to clean dd's room (which I must admit is a total disaster) because that's where she's sleeping.  

Rest of the week is prepare school, prepare classes, some rearranging at the classroom as usual.   I"m hoping to get everything planned through Christmas break since it was so nice having everything done the past couple of weeks.

[Slache]

17 minutes ago, Where's Toto? said:

Stupid question but has the child been told to stop doing that and if it continues there clothing will NOT be switched around but will be pulled out and put in a bag to mold and mildew?

If child was doing the entire batch of laundry, I wouldn't have a problem with them doing it, but dropping off expecting someone else to finish shouldn't happen without prior approval.  

Child has been told not to laundry but parent finds it easier to just do it rather than reinforce the boundary.

[Another Lynn]

1 minute ago, Slache said:

Child has been told not to laundry but parent finds it easier to just do it rather than reinforce the boundary.

In that case, parent has a new laundry job, lol.  

[Slache]

The laundry problem will never be fixed. I'm wondering if I'm wrong in my thinking about just throwing the clothes on the floor.

[Junie]

Good Morning!

Happy Friday!!

Thanksgiving decorations are up and groceries are ordered.

To-do list is being tackled, although there are still too many things on it.

 

[Susan in TN]

1 minute ago, Slache said:

The laundry problem will never be fixed. I'm wondering if I'm wrong in my thinking about just throwing the clothes on the floor.

Laundry is not the real problem, so what happens with the clothes really doesn't matter.

[Junie]

1 hour ago, Slache said:

Husband is wro- I mean we're having a disagreement and I want your opinion.

Parent owns a house, child rents an apartment. Parent says child can no longer do laundry at house. Child does not want to pay for laundry so child stops by a few times a week when child knows parent is working, puts laundry in washing machine and picks it up in a few days knowing parent will have rotated it in the necessity of doing parent household laundry.

The wise and all knowing Slache says parent needs to pull clothes from washer and throw them on the dirty floor. Matt says that's vindictive, I say it's showing that laundry will not be done. He says find a different way to show the boundary but neither of us could think of one.

Ok, go!

 

7 minutes ago, Slache said:

Child has been told not to laundry but parent finds it easier to just do it rather than reinforce the boundary.

If parent is not willing to enforce the boundary, then that is the parent's problem.  Apparently this boundary needed to be reinforced 20 years ago.

Is there a good reason that the parent does not want the child doing laundry there?  Because it's happening anyway.  Maybe parent should just say, "Sure, come on over and do your laundry."

Parent can put a "gift certificate"  for Mom and Pop's Laundromat in child's Christmas stocking instead of buying child a gift.

[Susan in TN]

Good morning!

I have abs of pudding.

I have to take dd16 to apply for a passport today and then take a 4 hour drive (round trip) to pick up dd21 from school for Thanksgiving week.  The Youngers are so excited they actually cleaned their rooms!

Coffee!

Edited November 22, 2019 by Susan in TN

[Slache]

2 minutes ago, Junie said:

Is there a good reason that the parent does not want the child doing laundry there?  Because it's happening anyway.  Maybe parent should just say, "Sure, come on over and do your laundry."

No idea. Love the Christmas gift idea!

[Renai]

8 hours ago, Slache said:

When you type at the top of the box there is bold, italics, underline, emoji, then link. So copy the link from the website at the top of the page that you want to link, highlight the word that you wish to act as a link and a box should pop up. The top of the box should have the word that you have chosen. Leave that alone. In the next line you will paste the link that you copied. Then hit okay.

That sounds sounds complicated, but probably because of all the extra words - bold, italics, etc. I get none of that. I just highlight the link, click copy (I get a pop up that says "cut, copy, etc..."), then switch back to this screen, and paste it (when I hold my finger in the typing box, I get another pop up that allows me to paste). It doesn't show a word I've chosen, so there's nothing to ignore. 

5 minutes ago, Slache said:

The laundry problem will never be fixed. I'm wondering if I'm wrong in my thinking about just throwing the clothes on the floor.

Yes, you'd be tripping over clothes and that's just more inconvenience. And yes, vindictive. It's just as easy to throw the clothes in a bag and move it out of the way.

[Wheres Toto]

I'm thinking the parent who wants to throw it on the floor is NOT the parent who is not following through on the boundary?  Will throwing the clothes in a bag/floor/whatever cause issues between the parents?   Maybe a compromise would be throwing it in a plastic laundry basket.  Not as likely to mildew but parent not having to do the laundry and hopefully making a point that it wouldn't be happening anymore and they needed a new plan?  Maybe the first time send them a text, "your wet clothes are in a basket in the laundry room.  You probably want to come do something about it before they get smelly".

[Another Lynn]

22 minutes ago, Slache said:

The laundry problem will never be fixed. I'm wondering if I'm wrong in my thinking about just throwing the clothes on the floor.

I personally wouldn't throw wet laundry on the floor.  I would possibly dry it but not fold it.  Or if I felt the need to be harsher, I might put them wet in a basket to sit.  Perhaps your feelings about the person are leading you to want the parent to dump the clothes in the floor?  If I had reason enough to dump clothes on the floor, change locks, etc, I'm guessing there would also be reason enough to not rent the apartment to them anymore (lack of payment, illegal choices? or something else?).

[Slache]

21 minutes ago, Renai said:

That sounds sounds complicated, but probably because of all the extra words - bold, italics, etc. I get none of that. I just highlight the link, click copy (I get a pop up that says "cut, copy, etc..."), then switch back to this screen, and paste it (when I hold my finger in the typing box, I get another pop up that allows me to paste). It doesn't show a word I've chosen, so there's nothing to ignore. 

Yes, you'd be tripping over clothes and that's just more inconvenience. And yes, vindictive. It's just as easy to throw the clothes in a bag and move it out of the way.

1. I was trying to show location on the box.

2. The room is like 15X15 so no tripping. Any bag/basket etc. would be inconvenient. I was looking for the easiest solution.

17 minutes ago, Where's Toto? said:

I'm thinking the parent who wants to throw it on the floor is NOT the parent who is not following through on the boundary?  Will throwing the clothes in a bag/floor/whatever cause issues between the parents?   Maybe a compromise would be throwing it in a plastic laundry basket.  Not as likely to mildew but parent not having to do the laundry and hopefully making a point that it wouldn't be happening anymore and they needed a new plan?  Maybe the first time send them a text, "your wet clothes are in a basket in the laundry room.  You probably want to come do something about it before they get smelly".

Both parents would just do it, we're talking their household vs ours.

5 minutes ago, Another Lynn said:

I personally wouldn't throw wet laundry on the floor.  I would possibly dry it but not fold it.  Or if I felt the need to be harsher, I might put them wet in a basket to sit.  Perhaps your feelings about the person are leading you to want the parent to dump the clothes in the floor?  If I had reason enough to dump clothes on the floor, change locks, etc, I'm guessing there would also be reason enough to not rent the apartment to them anymore (lack of payment, illegal choices? or something else?).

Child takes basket with them, no bags etc. convienent. I think I would throw anyone's clothes on the floor. 

No the child rents an apartment across town unrelated to the parent. Child just drops laundry off because laundry is expensive at the apartment.

3 minutes ago, myblessings4 said:

You're not wrong about not completing the laundry process.  IF they are going to start enforcing the boundary.  I can't imagine telling my grown kids they can't use the washer, though.  Is there a reason this boundary was tried?  Are they asking your suggestions, or are you and Matt just discussing what you would do at your house?  I would be very hesitant to let a whole load of clothing get ruined, but if there's a back story...

Parent was complaining and Matt and I are just talking. We know that parent will just keep rotating and folding and complaining and there's no reason to mention it.

No back story. Child moves out and decides laundry is too expensive ($4/load!) so child brings laundry to parents and parents say no so child does it behind their backs which inconveniences them. Parents complain to us so we discuss it, now we're trying to figure out if I'm vindictive or not. To me vindictive implies a negative intent but my intention is to find the simplest solution.

[Slache]

Just now, myblessings4 said:

Ok.  So basically this family just makes no sense, anyway.  Do they love this child?  Would they allow a friend who needed to use their washer use it?  Are THEY vindictive people?  No need to answer, since this question was really about you.  I'm just letting some of the stuff in my brain fall out.  Yes, I believe the way you described doing it would be vindictive.  Was it done out of love?  There are other options that might kick start the kid into completing it on his own or getting it out of your way with no extra work.  So yes.  Vindictive.  

Ok. Thank you for calling me vindictive. My view (from mom's perspective) is "I've told you not to do this, you're still deliberately doing it, I'm tired of being inconvenienced, I'm not doing this for you, this will make you stop."

1 minute ago, Servant4Christ said:

If the parents really do want a solution, they could always sit down the "child" when he/she comes back to retrieve laundry and say from now on, if you expect us to act as a laundry service provider, this is what you'll be charged for it. Break down the amount per load, per wash, per dry, and per fold & hang just like any other service provider in town. Let the decision be the child's and the next time they pull the same stunt, hold the clothing ransom until they pay their bill just like any other laundry service provider in town. I'd think that would solve the issue AND set the boundary.

Lol! Servant is new to the thread!

Everyone knows (or can surmise) who I'm talking about and this would never happen. I'm just being vague because I feel like I'm being rude posting it.

[Susan in TN]

5 minutes ago, Slache said:

1. I was trying to show location on the box.

2. The room is like 15X15 so no tripping. Any bag/basket etc. would be inconvenient. I was looking for the easiest solution.

Both parents would just do it, we're talking their household vs ours.

Child takes basket with them, no bags etc. convienent. I think I would throw anyone's clothes on the floor. 

No the child rents an apartment across town unrelated to the parent. Child just drops laundry off because laundry is expensive at the apartment.

Parent was complaining and Matt and I are just talking. We know that parent will just keep rotating and folding and complaining and there's no reason to 

No back story. Child moves out and decides laundry is too expensive ($4/load!) so child brings laundry to parents and parents say no so child does it behind their backs which inconveniences them. Parents complain to us so we discuss it, now we're trying to figure out if I'm vindictive or not. To me vindictive implies a negative intent but my intention is to find the simplest solution.

Dh says it's more passive-aggressive than vindictive, and the solution is to change the locks. 

[Slache]

Just now, Susan in TN said:

Dh says it's more passive-aggressive than vindictive, and the solution is to change the locks. 

Child needs to be able to access the house in an emergency.

[Slache]

1 minute ago, myblessings4 said:

I figured you were talking about them.  But you asked if I thought your way of handling it would be vindictive.  In my opinion, yes.  So why the comment about calling you vindictive?

Trying to be funny. Sorry. Booya!

Just now, ThatBookwormMom said:

Slache, I wouldn't use the word "vindictive," but I would probably say "forceful." I'm a forceful person, myself, so I would probably do something similar, but then I have no patience for the "We don't talk about things" dance a lot of families seem to do. I'm also a big boundary enforcer. The past few years have had a lot to do with that, and this whole scenario is just so passive aggressive on the child AND the parents' parts.

Oh my goodness this. I think this is the summary of the entire clash between households. They think I'm a terrible person for being direct and they make me insane by not being sincere. Oi. That's like five years of therapy right there. Thank you.

[Slache]

Just now, ThatBookwormMom said:

Can I go into labor now?

Jump up and down.

[Susan in TN]

6 minutes ago, Slache said:

Child needs to be able to access the house in an emergency.

Put a lock on the washer.  (Just in case you are ever in this situation, lol!)

[Slache]

2 minutes ago, Servant4Christ said:

Sorry. Just woke up and only halfway through my first cup of coffee but it tastes funny so I've stopped drinking it. No caffeine means I'm not fully functioning yet. If it's not a real question, I'll bow out and you guys discuss away.

You guys were all just supposed to agree that I was right. Now I'm torn.

2 minutes ago, Susan in TN said:

Put a lock on the washer.  (Just in case you are ever in this situation, lol!)

Yeah, no. I'll just send my kids to your house so you can deal with it.

[Susan in TN]

Just now, Slache said:

Yeah, no. I'll just send my kids to your house so you can deal with it.

lol.  Bring 'em on!

[Slache]

1 minute ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

This, believe it or not, ended up being the basis of 90% of the conflict between Dave and me. We made no progress until he realized that his FOO's habit of not discussing anything was unhealthy at best and toxic at worst. He thought I was awful and mean for pointing out the issues between us or candidly talking about my feelings. He literally felt attacked by my honesty, and all the awfulness that came after really boiled down to this (and a super unhealthy way of retaliating to perceived slights). It was really an act of God's graciousness that allowed him to understand what I was talking about and see what a healthy relationship looked like. I still can't talk to his mother, because it triggers so much from what we worked through. She's not allowed around the kids because of how deeply seated her issues are. Dave is still working on enforcing boundaries with his dad. His mom refuses to acknowledge any boundaries are even there.

I'm so, so thankful for the hard work Dave has put in (and continues to put in) to change the patterns he learned growing up. It's not perfect, but it's sooo much better.

Not really sure what the point of that was, other than maybe commiseration? Lol.

I can relate to all of this. And the thing is, in my opinion, not talking leads to nasty actions. I've had a credit card opened in my name because I refused to lend money, a dog adopted for me because someone felt we needed a dog, my wedding plans changed behind my back because she didn't like my opinion for her son's wedding. I mean seriously! And these are all things that should have been discussed and respected, but none of them have ever been discussed. If I bring it up I'm called nasty names and told not to do things like that. So you get to not communicate with me, alter things to go your way and then refuse to talk about it? No.

1 minute ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

Doesn't work. ☹

TeA!

[Another Lynn]

7 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

Doesn't work. ☹

Try going up and down steps sideways.  

[maize]

13 minutes ago, Slache said:

Jump up and down.

Walking on an elliptical machine helped get things started with one of mine, lots of hip motion...

[KrissiK]

Good Morning!!!!!

COFFEE!!!!!~D

Friday!!!

I made it through to Friday. Yesterday was a long, long day. Mostly good. Last night I found Out that the new gal in bell choir is the sister-in-law of a good friend of mine from high school.😂 When you live in my town and go to my church, this is what happens.😂

Today I have three meetings and then... I’m done meeting families till after Christmas. Phew. Tons of other paperwork to do, but the driving around stuff is done.

 

[KrissiK]

The only thing my family does not discuss is politics. Well, some of us do, because we are all on the same page, but then when my aunt and uncle come over we absolutely do not discuss politics.  But it’s fine. 

[Slache]

1 minute ago, Servant4Christ said:

Lol. Youngest, who wouldn't eat much of his breakfast, just reached up and pulled down the cereal bowl of oatmeal. No mess at all, he sat quietly on the floor and finished every last bite with a spoon. He wants to be sooo independent. I didn't know he could reach that far on the table, now I do. I wish I could've taken a picture. It was cute.

My baby was massively behind in talking forever and it was often adorable. The other day I rubbed his head and said "I rubbed your head" and he replied "I noticed." I was like who the heck taught you to talk!? It's unacceptable.

[Another Lynn]

Slache, I'm guessing that other boundaries are probably more important to enforce than the laundry one.  I guess I'm saying I wouldn't use the laundry scenario to enforce the boundaries that need enforcing - I would choose a different issue.  But then my own mother offers to do laundry for me every time she stops by, so maybe I'm not the best person to ask, lol.  (I turn her down 90% of the time, but sometimes I give her a back log of towels and she takes them, washes, dries, folds, and brings them back to me.  😂😂😂)  Totally different context as we generally have a healthy relationship, lol.  

[maize]

10 hours ago, Paradox5 said:

Never heard of washer magic. Will look next time. I’m pretty sure the smell is from the part where the inner drum and outer casing meet. When it leaked, the appliance guy took the metal off and I could see it all gucky brown/black.

The vacuum is a Kenmore with triple HEPA filter. The smell is hard to describe. It smells like mildew or dirt.

Is it a front loader? If so have you cleaned inside the rubber seal at the front of the tub?

[Slache]

Just now, KrissiK said:

The only thing my family does not discuss is politics. Well, some of us do, because we are all on the same page, but then when my aunt and uncle come over we absolutely do not discuss politics.  But it’s fine. 

No, they don't talk about essentials. (Krissi is in the other room) "I leant $60 to Krissi a month ago and she said she would pay me back a week later and never did. Did you know she gets Starbucks every morning? How could she be this selfish? She's getting coffee and my car payment is late. Thanks for nothing." (Krissi enters the scene) "Hi Krissi, how are you? Have you seen the latest episode yet?"

So now I'm harboring bad feelings, my car payment is late and I'm not offering the opportunity for you to make it right. This is how they do EVERYTHING and it's resulted in massive toxicity. If I were to gently say "Hey Krissi, is there an update on that $60 I leant you? I really need it" I would be reprimanded. It makes no sense.

[Another Lynn]

5 minutes ago, ThatBookwormMom said:

I only have the three steps of my porch. Will that be enough?

Yes.  Not sure how much or how long you should do it though.