Do you guys buy things that you don't want your husbands to know about?

[Lolly]

Honestly, I buy what I want. I don't consult dh on most purchases. i don't hide it. I also don't tell him how much it costs. That includes some awfully high ticket items.

[StacyinKS]

Big Ticket/costly things..I usually run it by him..not that he really cares..but I just think it's the right thing to do. :)

[Karenciavo]

He might NOT understand my excitement over a Circa Punch, for example. :001_smile:

 

My husband doesn't get it either. I remember the first time I showed it to him and he was like,"So, how is that different from a binder." :001_huh: and I was like, "But the rings, the thing, you put the paper in the thing and then in the rings, in, out... nevermind"

[Mary in NJ]

Better to have everything out in the open.

 

We live on a tight budget, so it wouldn't be long before he found out!

[dragons in the flower bed]

Is it only if you don't go over a certain limit (obviously most of us are not going to spend $5,000 that our husbands won't know about) but say $100.00 on school stuff (that's really for you, such as the Circa)

 

Um, can I answer even if I have a non-husband life partner? I don't clear purchases with him first, but I wouldn't buy something if I felt I had to hide it from him. Won't he see it and wonder how it got there? Or wonder where the money went?

[Danestress]

It would seem incredibly tedious to him if I did that. He's not a really patient man, and he believes (accurately I hope) that I keep track of finances and know what we can and cannot afford. He also makes purchases without consulting me.

 

We don't have a really "rule" about what a large expenditure is, but we just sort of figure it out as we go. We've had very few conflicts over money (none that I really remember) so this has worked for us.

[Amy loves Bud]

Unless it's over say $2-300 bucks, I don't tell him about anything I buy. It all shows up on the credit card statement (which he pays in full at the end of each month, btw) so he can know as much as he wants to know - though I'm not sure he cares too much as I'm not a big spender. If Bud kept his spending a secret from me I'd be really upset, so I don't keep it a secret from him.

 

ETA: I doubt either one of us could tell you anything the other has bought in the past month. We know our limits and stick with them, so there really isn't a need for one to keep dibs on the other. BUT, it's not a secret either - just not something either one of us cares about that all that much.

[Tracey in TX]

It just depends...

I may spend $20 on lunch and discuss with DH beforehand. Today I wrote a check for $1000 for girls' leotards/warm-ups and he doesn't know. It's not a secret, but it's in our budget for sports (or clothing?). Out of norm purchases are discussed, but not always. If it's way out of a budget category then we definitely talk about it.

 

Typically any household items over $200-ish are talked about, but not clothing or any extra curricular activities.

[Libbie]

Naw, simply b/c my husband doesn't care. He goes to work, brings me the check and tells me to do what I want with it. He is low maintenance and only wants a happy family, cold beer & warm dinner.

 

Same here (but trade the beer for a Coca Cola).

 

I only volunteer information if it is a large purchase or if it is coming out of the household/bill money.

[Doran]

The answer to that is an emphatic "no". Quite the opposite, in fact. When I buy something -- well, anything other than the usual, like food, toilet paper, and new socks for the kids, that is -- I actually enjoy showing him what I've bought. I can't however, say the same thing for him. He's been known to purchase quite a number of "spendier" items that I find out about well after the fact. :glare:

 

Oh. Wait. I just had a thought. I'm going to have to renege that emphatic no. I never want him to know about my chocolate because he'll just EAT IT! :lol:

[Cheryl in NM]

I'm glad my Dh is very understanding. Around here we know that that da*n UPS guys just shows up with stuff that nobody orders! I don't know what he's thinking, but he just shows up, beeps his horn and I meet him at the gate. Dh came out with me once just to share the joke. Our UPS guy is great! So the running joke in our house is that the UPS guy, mail man, whoever ordered it and some nerve they had taking it out of our bank account!

 

Of course, when I come home with clothes I dramatically parade them around with the tags still on and annouce how "this old thing" is so old I can't believe I'm still wearing it!

 

Now all the joking aside. I don't spend gobs of money on these items. But of course, there are certain times of year where the UPS man is here daily. So we just laugh it all off. Maybe Dh is laughing through his tears, but he's not sharing that with me!

[Carrie12345]

Do I buy things that I don't want my husband to know about?

 

Phrased that way, no.

 

Do I want him to know how much I paid for the 12 hand-dyed, home-serged, organic sherpa/organic bamboo velour cloth diaper wipes that came in the mail today?

 

Um, no.

 

Not because I shouldn't spend $35 on whatever I want (I should. He does.), or that it ate into the budget for something else (It didn't.) Just because he'll make fun of me. :tongue_smilie:

[Mom2legomaniacs]

Nope. He doesn't care what I spend or what I spend it on. He has the job that earns to money for our family. I balance the accounts, do 95% of all household shopping, and pay all the bills. Those things are things I gravitate towards doing better than him. He does other things that he is better at. We consult and divulge to each other out respect, but not because we have to, really. We trust each other. We have the same philosophies with spending and would make the same kinds of choices as the other would. Since we are on the same page, there is no need to micromanage or hide things. Just respectfully discussing as needed.

[melmac]

No, I don't see any good reason to.

[Quiver0f10]

We talk about major purchases, but I pretty much buy everything when I want/need too without discussing it with him. He doesn't want to be bothered and prefers I handle things.

[Alexandra]

Only chocolate. It's mine - All mine!!

 

and if it involves purchases of chocolate WITH caramel...well I have total "memory loss"!

[kalanamak]

I buy things he doesn't want to know about.....does that count? :)

[RebeccaS]

You know, it's really all about the budget. Those who have wiggle room will be able to buy things you don't necessarily want your dh to know about. If they don't have any wiggle room (we don't-we budget everything ala Dave Ramsey) could not possibly do it even if they wanted to. FWIW, I have nothing that I'd want to buy and not tell dh about. It just seems kinda underhanded. My mom used to do that all the time to my dad and made it seem normal. As I got older, I just didn't like it. JMHO:001_smile: And, I'm seriously jealous that there are some who agree with their dh to not discuss purchases under $200. That is major money to us!:sad:

[Rhonda in TX]

(This actually goes for all discretionary purchases, not just curriculum)

 

I make small purchases all the time without telling him, but we don't use credit cards and he balances the checkbook, so he's fully aware of it. I don't hide anything. Basically, we are both aware of the finances and check with each other on higher ticket items.

 

BTW - I once got into about $3000 credit card debt without telling DH. I was soooo scared, but I finally confessed to DH. He was mad, but not unreasonably so, and we took care of the debt together. Never again!! Honesty is the best policy.

[LauraGB]

Dh is a pain in the rump about money (the lack of it ;)), and since I'm the one who pays the bills and otherwise manages the money, less information is better. I am, however, dreadfully cheap, so he has little to worry about. Big stuff, tvs, computers, anything fairly expensive gets an exhaustive discussion, but most other things, not so much. Just easier that way. :D

 

(so, no, to answer your question, we don't discuss the actual cost of curriculum - we need what we need and that is all. There are few frills there, anyway - except this year I bought some of the Science in a Nutshell pkgs for physical science and oh boy! am I excited! That was a splurge, and while I showed them to him, I only gave a round # for the price. Again, just easier that way.)

[sweetbaby]

Yes, but it's things that I know he would agree with such as items we really NEED. As for major purchases, I always consult him first.

[gardenschooler]

I don't spend $100, or even $50, without telling my dh.

 

This question may be relative to how much disposable income you have, though. I can see when we can afford to spend money, so there is no question there. I just would tell him where the money went (or is going), because we have to account for every $50 or $100.

[gardenschooler]

My dh is much thriftier than I am!! He might NOT understand my excitement over a Circa Punch, for example. :001_smile:

 

 

I convinced my dh that he wants a Circa Punch. :lol: He's all excited (not really, but he thinks it's cool).

He thinks it would be neat to make personalized notebooks for Christmas presents.

[ahousefullofjs]

Well, I wouldn't go out and buy a new car without telling him, but I don't tell him about curriculum and stuff simply because it's my job to pick it out and buy it and his to pay for it. Now, I wouldn't buy something HUGE without running it by him first.

 

:iagree:same here.

[Laura Corin]

I've never hidden a purchase from my husband, but neither do I run my purchases past him. He trusts me not to overspend, as I trust him. We are both fairly restrained with money, so it's fine if one of us occasionally has a splurge.

 

Laura

[RoughCollie]

My DH knows about everything I buy before I buy it.

 

He, OTOH, buys everything, including big ticket items, without consulting me and I find out about them when they appear. Things like an SUV, a 60" t.v., a laptop, a desktop computer ....

 

RC

[Peela]

Yes, I will spend up to several hundred $ at a time, usually on school things, but its not secretive. I have my own income which we agree covers my personal stuff, plus everything to do with the kids' schooling. I like it this way, but he has the same privilege- he doesn't ask my permission to buy a new muffler for his Harley, or new speakers for his car :). We definitely discuss more expensive purchases though.

I guess I have been a little embarrassed at times about the amount of books I buy, that turn up in the mail box, but Dh has never said anything about it.