ILiveInFlipFlops Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 DH is in sales, so if he doesn't work, he doesn't sell. Plus, he doesn't get all that many vacation days, and what he does get is used up by our actual "vacations." So if I want to road-trip around, I'd have to do it without him. I want to get out and see our country while the kids are young and excited about it. We're on the East Coast, and there's SO much to do within just a few days' drive of here, I feel like we should be taking advantage of it. But I feel guilty going without him, and he feels sad if he can't go. WWYD? Do you feel OK about traveling without your DH, or do you always wait until he can come too? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
prairiewindmomma Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I travel. We also try to arrange vacation days so that we take long weekends for short trips that he wants especially to go on. He also always travels with laptop and phone. He often is on conference calls while I drive. He leaves the phone on mute except when he needs to chime in. It works out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Amira Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Dh would rather have us go places without him than sit at home because he can't go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Can you prioritize the trips to the places that your dh has already seen? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
shawthorne44 Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I would prioritize being home when he is home, and then see stuff with just you and the kids when he is gone. Then you can have the kids tell him all about the things they saw/learned when he gets back. Then if he really wants to see something, go those places on your vacations. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Dh used to travel a fair amount for work and the kids and I used to tag along. We'd go to museums and such while he was working- I felt bad that he was working and we were having fun but so much of it was educational and he quickly told me he'd rather we do those things than sit at home without him. I'm sure your dh is sad that he can't enjoy these things with you but maybe he'll come around. I wouldn't visit his dream city or anything without him, but as you pointed out, there's a lot to see and do in your region. I think it can be hard for the working spouse- they can so easily feel left out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wilma Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 This is a tough one for me, too. There are times when I'd even just like to go hang out with my folks a couple of hours away, but stay out because my husband can't go. He doesn't even sleep well when we're not here! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Could you and your kids go somewhere where he could join you for even a couple days? Or does he travel with his job, so the rest of you could tag along and make a vacation out of it? You'd at least be together in the evenings. What does your husband think? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 Dh would rather have us go places without him than sit at home because he can't go. :iagree: We don't travel a lot (because of funds - I'd road trip every other weekend if I could), but we do occasionally take short trips to visit family/friends, and I take the boys up to see dh's family in another state a couple of times a year. He goes with us when he can, but I don't sit around and wait for him to be available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 We travel without dh all the time. He doesn't really enjoy being in the car, especially if the kids are there. (Not so bad now that they are older.) ANd, honestly, I really do not enjoy vacationing with him and the kids. I like a vacation with him. I like a vacation with the kids. The two just aren't all that compatible. I spend all my time trying to keep everyone happy, which just isn't going to happen. So, the kids and I just go/went (they are all so old now!). We did the venture across the country in the van. Spent a whole month on the road (kids were 8,10,10,12 at the time). No way he would have been able to take that much time off. We've done midwinter trips to FL. Lots of swim meet long weekends. Basically, if we want to go, we go. Dh has never minded. He knows he wouldn't enjoy it. Me, I am nomadic. I can't stay in one place too long. I have to travel or my blood starts boiling. So, I say go for it!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kewb Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I used travel without dh all the time. His was a similar job situation like your husbands. He was sad to miss out on things but he was wise enough to see the benefits of us going without him. He did not want to be reason our kids missed out on an experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I asked dh about this and he said that while sometimes he is bummed that he can't go with us, that doesn't mean he doesn't want us to go. So maybe talk to your dh about it? It might be that while he is sad he can't go he would encourage you to still take the kids, especially for things he might not be that interested in anyway. For example, dh is much less disappointed if he can't go with us to an art museum than if I were to take them to a concert without him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I do it often. My DH travels for work, so it's a fact of life for us. Some things I take into consideration: - I visit my family without him. My SIL annoys him, my parents are in ill health, and it's just easier. He doesn't mind missing those trips. :-P Yes, we have fun, but it's not a huge deal for him to miss it. - I try to travel when he's on trips anyway so we can maximize our time home as a family. This requies the dogs to be kenneled, but such is life. - We "vacation" as a family. Big, annual trips are for all of us. - We stay connected as much as possible when we're gone. We call or text as usual. Sometimes I fail on this - bad coverage, cell laws, and weird hours - but we try. - Pictures help a little. So do kid reports. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer in MI Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 We've taken trips where I start out with the kids and dh will join us for a portion of the vacation at the end. Can you do something like that so he's not missing it all? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TechWife Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I traveled some when my son was younger. With high school classes, it's much harder to do. It was a priority for us to be home when my husband was home. When he was going to be gone for a week at a time, I frequently went to my parents' house, which is a six hour drive. We would do school there, and sometimes we would do field trips if we could. I remember doing a lot of Civil War, Gold Rush and Civil Rights field trips between our house and theirs! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MissKNG Posted February 25, 2014 Share Posted February 25, 2014 I would want dh to come but I grew up going on vacations without my dad. My parents are self employed so he had to stay home and take care of business while my mom and I went on vacations (with my sister or my grandma or just ourselves). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kari C in SC Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 I do quite a few trips with my kids and my mom and my sister without my dh. He doesn't like Disney and we love Disney, so we always go without him. We also do a beach trip with homeschool friends... Just moms and kids. And, I do others as they pop up. He doesn't love me being away from him, but he knows that travel is my coping mechanism since our oldest son passed away. Sometimes I just feel like I need to literally run away and he gets that. We do also take a vacation as a family each year at least one time and a weekend as a couple only. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AlmiraGulch Posted February 26, 2014 Share Posted February 26, 2014 We do it. I have no guilt. DH is also in Sales (100% commission). Granted, DH is my kids' step-father, but I did it even when I was still married to their father. Our next trip where we're leaving DH at home is to New Orleans! I just don't understand why you would not take advantage of an opportunity to explore just because he can't go. It is what it is. No sense in you staying home when you could be out learning and growing and having adventures. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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