Clothing issues--frumpiness vs. frugality?

[melissel]

I'm starting to declutter my closet, and I'm pondering this as I do. I've pared down quite a bit, which has been very nice. What I'm left with, however, is a series of quality, but kind of frumpy (on me, that is) T-shirts in very similar styles. DH is a pretty stylish guy, and he would gladly have me fork over some cash to invest in some new, more stylish clothes. However, I've put us on a tight budget because I'm trying to save money to quit my job next year, and I'm having trouble with the concept of buying new, pricy clothing that's just going to get stained and wrinkled and faded. I mean, I stay home all day! With small children! Who still have a tendency to come over and hug me and sneak a mouth wipe as they do! And I want to be comfortable--I don't want to worry whether my bra is showing through my placket or my shirt is hiking up over my belly, or whether I'll be able to get the ketchup out of my $30 shirt. Also, I want to lose some weight, and I've made a bit of progress, so I hate to spend money now on clothes that might not fit in a few months, you know?

 

I know he's a teeny bit unhappy that I'm just a jeans and T-shirt kind of gal, and he does make comments to that effect occasionally. Then again, this was the man who said that we couldn't apply our "emergency fund" to our rapidly dwindling debt because we might need it for an actual emergency, but was happy to blow it in Atlantic City, so I do question his priorities a bit *sigh* I'm just struggling between bare practicality and less practical style. Don't get me wrong, I'd love to buy myself some new things too, but I fought hard to get out of the "retail therapy" mindset. I really don't want to fall back in!

 

WWYD? Invest in some new clothes and bless someone else with the older ones? Continue the Dave Ramseyness and keep the larger goal in mind? Hang on to see if the weight loss happens?

 

TIA!

[Nestof3]

I would shop at thrift stores. I buy a lot from them. I bought a khaki skirt that still had a tag attached and a brown short-sleeved cotton dressy t-shirt style shirt with embroidery on the front (also still had tag attached) for a whopping $6.00 total. I wear them together, and I think they look nice.

 

I wear long skirts except for my pajama pants and workout pants, but when I wore pants, I wore khaki pants from Dockers a lot. These could be dressed up or down. They look nice with a black top and black sandals.

[Happy]

I'm a big Dave Ramsey fan...but I'm going to tell you to dress a bit nicer.

 

I realized a year or two ago that my teenaged sons were going to remember me in sloppy tees and ratty shorts or jeans because that's what I wore around the house. I'm a messy cook and avid dirt-digging-gardener, so why bother?

 

Now I wear a smidgen nicer tees and leave the sloppy ones for painting or gardening. I wear nicer shorts around the house. Along with good earrings, a good haircut, and doing my nails (at least with clear polish.)

 

What I'm finding is that I like myself a bit more these days.

 

I've lost twelve pounds this summer through diet and exercise. Yesterday I bought two new outfits for church and an outfit just for wearing around the house this fall. Pretty and stylish. Since everything was on sale, I barely spent a hundred dollars. I felt great getting dressed for church this morning. I love getting dressed on a week day in my nicer tees, a cute skort, sandals, and earrings.

 

Here's a thought that just popped into my brain...why not wear an apron or a smock or, for that matter, a lab coat (we are professionals, aren't we?) around the house? :D

 

Set up a reasonable clothes budget and stick to it. Buy well made and classic and don't forget to shop sales and resale shops.

[anissarobert]

I just want to second the above posts. I use thrift stores and they have great deals. I find clothes that would be $50 at the mall for $4, all the time. Yard sales are also great around here. My dd14 is has a wonderful wardrobe, and I seldom pay more than $1 per piece for her.

 

We seldom buy any clothing new. (Except for my husband's work clothes.)

[TammyinTN]

I love Lands End clothing...which I usually try to buy on sale. They have cute knit pants that can be dressed up or dressed down, cute tunics and just plain cute stuff that's low maintence. Good luck!:001_smile:

[Nicole M]

I buy most of my clothes at thrift store, except my stylin' jeans, which I wear almost daily, even at work. I have a few personal rules that have helped me define a non-frump look.

 

* I just say no to white socks and tennies. There are a million very comfy shoes a person can buy that feel like tennies but look like shoes.

 

* I wear button down blouses, always. It is not difficult to find button downs in thrift stores at all. I never pay more that $7 for a blouse, and I have several that are no-iron, a couple are Eddie Bauer and I get constant compliments on them. Blouses, even with jeans, look better than tees, they are slimming, and if you have enough of them, you can survive the mouth-wipe hug.

 

* I accessorize. I wear a scarf most days not only because I like a little decoration, but it keeps me from being too chilly. I don't wear makeup, but I do wear earrings and often a necklace.

 

But you have to figure out what works for you. Figure out a few ground rules and run with it.

[Ferdie]

I love the thrift store idea. Try Target or Old Navy, too. They have cute clothes and great prices.

[elegantlion]

I 2nd/3rd/4th shopping at thrift store or clearance. It's so hot here I'm often in sweat shorts and a tank top during the day, but before dh gets home I try to spruce up a little.

 

Target has some cute clothes. Granted they aren't investment pieces but they would do while you work on losing weight.

 

Ross and Marshall's/TJMaxx also have some great feminine pieces at decent prices.

 

 

Here's a website I visit several times during the year. http://www.fashion-era.com/. I'm not that into fashion, but I do like to see upcoming trends and use it to get ideas to revamp my style and wardrobe.

[E_Edgerton]

I don't think you have to choose between comfort and attractive attire. I feel that you can find shirts in colors and cuts that are more flattering than an oversized, stained, or just plain worn out T-shirt. Also, I good pair of jeans are both comfortable and quite sexy! I would find a style and wash that you look best in (I wouldn't go cheap here...a good pair of jeans can last a lifetime.) I think you can also find dresses in fabrics that are wash and wear and are easy on the eyes. I have found several fun summer/spring dresses that seamlessly go from summer day at the library or farmer's market to dinner later that night. I also think you can do this at affordable places like Gap, Old Navy, J Crew (sales), Target, TJMAXX, and department store sales. Good luck.:)

[Medieval Mom]

:iagree:I went through this last year. I finally decided to donate all the clothes that make me FEEL frumpy. When in doubt, I asked my husband his opinion (which was usually a vehement head-shake to get rid of the wretched thing). For very little money, I collected a few key wardrobe items that were stylish, affordable, WASHABLE, and fit. (I'm petite, so this was key. Anything too big spells FRUMP or "potato sack"...) I automatically felt so much better that I started making other changes without even realizing it, like wearing earrings or lipstick, even just around the house.

 

Of course, now I'm very pregnant, and all those slim clothes will have to wait a while. I pulled out my frumpy pregnancy clothes from before and donated them, too. My dh convinced me to buy three new pregnancy dresses from Motherhood Maternity, which have been my staple wardrobe all summer. I live in them! Sure, I have to wash them twice a week, but I'd rather have a few pieces of clothes I wear often and really make good use of, than dozens of things that rarely see the light of day.

 

For me, getting rid of the frump really helped!

[kls126s]

Totally agree with the thrift shopping advice - Good Will is my friend. I buy almost everything from there, but don't feel that I look frumpy. Find a nice thrift shop in an upscale neighborhood, and you'll be surprised what you find. You might also look in the yellow pages under resale shop. There are nicer exchange type stores - we have one that's part of a franchise called Plato's Closet. It only had very up to date clothes, and they are divided by size and then by color, so it's very easy to shop there.

 

I want to add one other thing - from my very personal perspective, if something is important to my dh, I want it to be important to me. If he made comments that led me to believe he'd like me to dress a little nicer, I would do my best to find a way to do that.

 

Just my two cents...

[Ali in OR]

It's expensive to replace an entire wardrobe. If it still fits and suits your lifestyle, don't dump it. But do buy a new piece or two that makes you feel great and that your dh would like. Promise yourself another new outfit when you hit your first major weight loss goal (10 pounds is usually a size smaller). I guess I lean toward frugality--so many of us are especially focused on that in the current economy. But a few new pieces would be a nice compromise that shouldn't break the bank.

[ravengal]

I love getting deals at the thrift store, but it has been a challenge to find plus sized clothing that isn't immodest or frumpugly. I've scored some nice clearance deals at our local J.C. Penney outlet, Target, Kohl's, and Sears.

[Laurie4b]

An alternate to straight out thrift shops is shopping at consignment stores. I've gotten nice things at both for prices I can stand.

[Hoggirl]

Honestly, I may go around the house most of the day in frumpy clothes (or pajamas!) They are comfortable, and I don't worry about spills, science experiements, etc.! However, I try to be very diligent in getting myself together before my dh comes home. This means I comb my hair, spritz on perfume, and have my face on (I know not everyone wears a face, but I do. Even if you don't "wear" a face, taking care of your skin is important so that you have a nice complexion). Maybe you could treat yourself to one new outfit every other month. Or once a month, or whatever you can afford. And, I emphasize outfit. It is NO GOOD to buy a new skirt only to wear it with some faded ol' black t-shirt! Make sure you are happy with the whole. If how you dress is important to your husband, I think you should honor that. And, if new clothes mean you cannot have a date night out, then put on your new outfit and have a date night in! Fix pizza for the children and put them in front of a movie and then light some candles and fix a "grown-up" dinner for you and your husband and wear your new outfit! Sorry! I sound awfully bossy, but this is one of my "things." I think dressing nicely is a way to honor your husband and demonstrate to "the world" his ability to provide.

[Kelli in TN]

Figure out a few ground rules and run with it.

 

 

What a great idea! Kind of like What Not to Wear!

 

I should sit down and make myself some ground rules. Then I might feel like I had a checklist to pulling myself together.

[Happy]

I think dressing nicely is a way to honor your husband and demonstrate to "the world" his ability to provide.

 

If I understand correctly, the French dress well even when running errands so as not to offend the eye of the folks at the bakery, dry cleaners, and grocery store. I know they looked great everywhere.

 

When I read this I realized that I may feel comfy, but those poor folks in society and commerce have to look at me. Gack!

 

My dressing a bit nicer is my way of being kind, respectful, and loving to others.

 

It's not ONLY about me. :D

[Raini]

I would get a few nice things to wear when around hubby. I wear sweats (cute and cheap ones!) at home and then change into my few nicer outfits when I'm with dh or out. I do tend to wear the same nicer outfits all the time though- which doesn't bug dh at all.

[Jenny in Atl]

I find great stuff at Kolh's (end of season). Got some great summer stuff, some only $4 a piece. I still have at least 2 more months I can wear them and then again next year. I think feeling good is important and not hard to do w/o spending a ton.

[Cindy in C-ville]

Like others, I have a few "rules":

 

1. Wear clothes that fit. I put on a pair of jeans yesterday that were a bit saggy, so they went in the pile to go to Goodwill.

2. Wear clothes that are in "my" colors. I look good in blues/pinks/blacks/brown. I do not look good in bright colors/orangey red/muddy colors. No matter how cute a shirt is, if it is in an "off" color for me, I will not wear it.

3. Stick with jeans/khaki/black/olive on the bottom. Just about any shirt will go with these and then my wardrobe is sort of like garanimals.

4. Wear clothes that go with "my" body type. I'm small-boned, but curvy. I look best with plain bottoms and tops with collars or some interest around my face. I do not look good in pants that hug all the way from hip to ankle. I will not get those, no matter how cute they look on my ruler-shaped friend. I will value my bootleg jeans.

5. Choose classic over trendy. Classic does not mean frumpy.

6. Wear cute shoes. These can be flip flops, ballet flats, or heels. They should be comfortable, but cute.

7. Avoid crop pants that stop at the wide part of my calf. This is an awkward place for pants (or skirts) to stop. Choose pants/skirts that are longer or come to my knee.

8. Don't dress like a teenager.

9. Accessorize simply. Silver is better on me than gold, so I have several pairs of silver earrings, a few necklaces, and a silver watch that I really like.

 

There are probably some other "rules" I follow, but these are the basics for my coloring and my body type. I get A LOT of clothes from Goodwill. I know my size, and so I'll go through the Goodwill that is in a very nice part of town. Invariably I find clothing from Banana Republic and Loft - my two favorite stores. I KNOW that if I find my size in these namebrands that I'm going to be pleased. As I was going from a tight size 10 to a size 6 (and now these are getting a bit big on me), I was SO glad to find clothes that fit well, are good quality, and at a GREAT price. It would have been very discouraging to see my size dropping, but have to wear ill-fitting clothes. With Goodwill, I don't mind updating as my size changes, but there is no way that I would pay regular prices for these labels. So, check out Goodwill and get rid of your frumpy clothes. Oh, my favorite place to buy jeans is Gap. They're not the price of "designer" jeans, but more expensive than some. But, I like the way they fit so much better than any other's I've tried.

 

Let us know if you find anything!

[Mom to Aly]

My sis was just saying to me, the nicest stuff she owns, she bought at Goodwill. If it were me, I would buy a few nice things to wear when you and dh are going to be alone together with no messy mouths in sight from someplace like Goodwill--he's happy you might feel better about yourself, and no breaking the bank. Then, when you are feeling comfortable with it, get what you want, for yourself.

[Amy in Orlando]

Another vote for thrift stores, consignment shops but not before you have some ground rules. Cindy's advice is really, really good.

 

Think about what you just removed from your closet. Why did you remove it? How much of it did you remove because you would put it on only to take it off for something you liked better? How much of the stuff did you take out of your closet because you hadn't worn in it over a year? Are you finding anything in common with those clothes?

 

I ask because a couple of years ago, I lost a lot of weight in a short period of time (I am weird, I have a hard time eating during times of high stress). I needed clothes and money was tight. Because of the stress I had been watching a lot of late night tv and discovered the show What Not To Wear. What an eye opener. I used things I learned on that show to help me buy pieces that were most flattering to ME. I love the idea of prints and lots of color. However, neither suits me. Round necked shirts make my broad shoulders look even broader. Loose fitting shirts actually emphasize the fact that I have no waist. (In fact, I think I might resemble Cindy's ruler-shaped friend rofl) You get the picture.

 

Another idea I liked is to get a bunch of magazines (I picked up some bundles from our library's book shop for about $3). Flip through the magazine and clip out pictures of anything you like. Don't worry about if you would or could actually wear it, just if you like it. Staple or glue the pictures into a spiral notebook - make quick notes in the margins about what you like and/or don't like so you'll remember why you clipped it out. Do this for an evening project - several times. Even ask dh if he likes something and why. I did this and was surprised when I had filled the notebook at the patterns I saw. Certain colors I prefered, certain designers and styles, accessories I liked.

 

I kept the notebook in my car and if I got a chance to hit a thrift store or consignment store, I'd flip through it before I headed in to remind myself of my own rules. Consignment shop owners are great if you get to know them. They are often happy to call if they receive new items that they know you'll like. I once (back when I was working) got an amazing Armani 4-piece suit for $250 because the owner of a shop I like called to let me know it looked like something I would love. (And, I was NOT a big customer, just friendly anytime I went in)

I wore that suit for a good ten years and it was perfect for everything. Not a bad investment!

 

I recommend checking out as many thrift stores as you have in your area. Some have "better" donors than others. I drive quite a bit to get to one thrift store because I can almost always find very high end items for $10 and less, often they still have tags on them. They key is to check often. I only find stuff I love maybe every fourth or fifth trip, but when I find stuff it's so exciting.

 

The whole point is, you can be stylish on a budget. You can look good at any weight. And, if you're losing weight, it doesn't so much to replace things as you need. It takes some thought and some work, but it's really worth it!

 

Good luck!

[gandpsmommy]

I can identify with the messiness factor of being a stay-at-home mom of young kids, and with the not wanting to spend a fortune on new clothes when you desire to lose weight and not be in this size for very long and are also trying to allocate money to higher priorities. *But* I think buying a few nicer outfits to wear around your dh would be a great idea. You don't have to spend a huge amount of money or buy a whole new wardrobe. Keep your jeans and t-shirts to wear when you're just at home with the kids, cleaning the house, doing messy activities, etc. But buy a few nicer, more stylish pieces to wear a few times a week when you're with dh.

[Peela]

I subscribe to Flylady and I do think that getting dressed to shoes (in winter I do wear shoes in the house), in something that I feel good in (not just comfortable, but feel I look ok if someone were to come to the door or I have to go to the shops for milk) putting on moisturiser and brushing my hair- has made a difference in my life. I was quite happy to look daggy for years- I decided to try this new way, and it actually makes me feel better. So, I do it for me. My husband doesn't like make-up or for me to look "fashionable" but we both have a lot of fun with op shops, and styles and colours. He has a much larger wardrobe than I do, because he never culls, but he loves to buy clothes.

I found my own style after a while of trying. I do wear bright colours and a bohemian look, but its not teenagery. I kind of use colour therapy- yellow to make me happy, pink for love, white in summer for a cool feel, black on the motorbike :) etc

Clothes can be fun. A game. Not to be taken too seriously, but worth giving some attention. I even consciously get dressed when I feel sick- it automatically makes me feel better.

[rafiki]

.

[Jill]

I thought about how my son would remember me looking too and now try to be a bit more presentable during the day. I have the same deal, I've lost weight, needed better fitting clothes and am on a budget. So, Ditto on thrift shops, Lands End Overstocks, and Eddie Bauer Outlet also J. crew warehouse sales if you are ever near one and Sierra Trading Post and even eBay. Even if you haven't quite met your _goal_ weight, you may still feel, look and move better in well-fitted clothing in any of your between weights. That's one reason Thrift Stores work so well for this situation. I have to keep a few truly grubby clothes around for messy chores but that is just what they are for, I don't go "to town" in those.

 

The trick I used with eBay is I measured my favorite, comfortable, good looking but old wool wide-leg trousers. I included measurements for my trickiest spot, my thighs. I saved a search on eBay for women's wool pants in my size, then I'd get daily emails showing me new postings. If I was interested, I'd check the measurements. If they didn't post the thigh measurement, I would ask. If they didn't answer, I wouldn't bid. I did get some replies and I bought a couple of pairs of wool trouser pants, good for winter, for under $20 including shipping. That's a great deal for pants that will keep me warm in winter, look good and last for some years - and if I under-grow them, I have plans for a wool quilt someday, bwa-ha-ha-ha... I imagine this strategy could work for someone else for some items of clothing so I figured I'd share that I had a positive experience. - Jill

[sweetbaby]

I don't think there is anything wrong with donating old clothes and getting new ones if you are watching cost when replacing with the new. You can shop at thrift stores or some of the famous boutiques such as

Le Wal de Mart

Le Tar get (pronounced Tar jay)

K de Mart

Le Sears and my all time favorite J C Penny's ( pronounced J C Pen yays)

[Mamasteff]

This worked when we had a houseful of toddlers- I wore shirts inside out at home, then turned them right side out if I were going anywhere. The face wipes, etc. didn't show. (And i didn't have to wash ANOTHER shirt I had changed into).

 

In the country where we lived, people often only had 2-3 outfits. Total. That's it. One new outfit, from underwear all the way to shoes, once a year for a holiday. They would wear old things at home (especially pajamas and aprons!), but have nice things for being seen in public.

 

Maybe you should do the same? the frumpy old t-shirts for kid time, and everybody change near the time dad is coming home? (wow, that sounds a lot more 1950s housewife than I meant it to, but, dress up for your man!!!)

[melissel]

Hmm, this is all very interesting. The arguments I'm having with myself in my head about several of the points made here makes me realize there's more surrounding this issue than I realized (e.g., I'm not feeling as though DH is honoring me these days, particularly, and with regard to reflecting his ability to provide, I work my tail off all day, every day, which also includes my paid job as a provider), but I won't torture you with details on that now. Thank you for making me see that there are other factors in play here!

 

However, I do take issue with one point a few people made, because I'm sort of wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way. Do you really think that wives should hurry to fix themselves up before their husbands come home? Are we not good enough as we are? I wake earlier than my DH most days, feed the kids, care for the house, cook almost all meals, do my paid work, shop for groceries, manage the finances, childcare, and most family issues, etc., and go to sleep later than him every single night. He does his paid work and hos own personal care, and occasionally loads the dishwasher. Do I really need to pretend to be someone I'm not too? And I'm not asking to be snarky, I swear it! I'm just so surprised to hear so many people express this. Maybe I really am just blind to this or something?

 

Hmm, this might be an interesting spinoff thread. I'd love to hear others' thoughts on the issue.

 

Thank you, everyone!

[melissel]

Oh, and I forgot to respond to a few other things! Our Goodwills and thrift stores here STINK. What garbage, seriously. I have no idea about resale shops, though, that's a great idea. I'll look in the phone book tomorrow.

 

And to clarify, when I say jeans and T-shirts, I mean nice, clean, dark Eddie Bauer jeans; form fitting tops from Jones New York and Eddie Bauer; black loafers; khakis; etc. I don't want anyone to think I'm walking around in my old concert t-shirts with paint all over them and holey jeans and sneakers :lol: I tend to buy only high-quality stuff, but I am a size 16 (ish...ahem!), and I'm, er, shall we say well-endowed? So it can be difficult for me to find a good fit in shirts that don't have some stretch. I actually LOVE those Eddie Bauer wrinkle-free button-downs, but alas, I look like I'm about 7 months along in them :glare: I will keep looking though!

 

To DH, khakis are the ultimate in "mom" clothes. He doesn't like the Lands' End/Eddie Bauer style much, and that's actually my style to a T. He wants more than that.

 

You all have convinced me to put some more effort into this, though. I ordered some gift cards via our credit card points, so maybe I'll dedicate some of that money to a few new things for myself.

 

Thank you!

[Aubrey]

Do you really think that wives should hurry to fix themselves up before their husbands come home? Are we not good enough as we are? I wake earlier than my DH most days, feed the kids, care for the house, cook almost all meals, do my paid work, shop for groceries, manage the finances, childcare, and most family issues, etc., and go to sleep later than him every single night. He does his paid work and hos own personal care, and occasionally loads the dishwasher. Do I really need to pretend to be someone I'm not too? And I'm not asking to be snarky, I swear it! I'm just so surprised to hear so many people express this. Maybe I really am just blind to this or something?

 

First, I think it's only fair to preface this w/ the fact that I'm sitting here in my dh's T-shirt & pj bottoms w/ an old towel thrown over baby & a scarf over my head. By scarf, I mean a $1 WM square thingie that looks cute on the rack & on other people but frumpy on oneself. Full disclosure, ya know.

 

So, pretend to be someone we're not? No, of course not. There's a book called His Needs, Her Needs that is absolutely infuriating, & if you read it, you'll want to throw it across the room. It lists the top 5 needs of men & women. Apparently, women need men who are good providers & fathers. Practical stuff. Men need women who'll play w/ them, etc. Childish stuff. I think I *did* throw it across the room.

 

BUT all of this is to say that men & women have different priorities & needs. I wouldn't juxtapose the particular ones in the book, but I do try to remember that *visual* stuff is going to be more important to dh than to me. Now, I have an easy dh who probably wouldn't notice if I spent the next 15 yrs in his pjs. At least, he wouldn't say so. But when he doesn't shave for a day & a half, it drives. me. nuts. So, again, full disclosure. I'm coming from the other end of the spectrum.

 

Anyway, my point is, there is a way of looking at this issue that's just honoring one's spouse, & there's a way that's...creepy. Stepford wives. I think, really, only the wife herself can know which category she falls into. Kwim?

 

And usually, the things that make my spine stiffen & throw books across the room are only problems when applied universally. When applied to *my* dh, I don't mind so much. Because for *him,* even Stepford Wives...nah. He is great, though. ;)

[Parrothead]

If you are intent on loosing more weight and don't have a thrift shop to go to, get some slightly lower quality stuff. For the last year I've gotten all my clothes from Kohls. I buy a lot of their store brand (always when it is on sale) and am quite happy with it. I don't think I've spent more than $15.00 on any one item from there.

 

I had to buy an almost new wardrobe last winter due to a massive weight loss because of medical reasons. I spent about $250.00 on clothes and accessories.

 

Once you reach your weight loss goal, go back to buying your preferences periodically.

[melissel]

First, I think it's only fair to preface this w/ the fact that I'm sitting here in my dh's T-shirt & pj bottoms w/ an old towel thrown over baby & a scarf over my head. By scarf, I mean a $1 WM square thingie that looks cute on the rack & on other people but frumpy on oneself. Full disclosure, ya know.

 

ROFL!!! Aubrey, may I say that I am totally flattered that you chose to respond to my post considering that you're, like, 12 minutes postpartum. The only thing I was doing at the same point after my last birth was shoveling peanut butter and jelly on a spoon into my mouth and trying to convince someone else to hold the baby :001_rolleyes: Thank you for taking the time for me :grouphug:

 

And, as an aside, now I feel like even more of a weirdo. Am I the ONLY person on the planet who just cannot wear clothes from Target and Kohls? If I can even find anything to fit, within two washes it's two sizes too small and all out of kilter. I've actually returned pants to Target because of how they shrank! And the last shirts I bought from Kohls shrank upward so much that exposed half my belly after I washed them. Am I some oddly shaped freak??? Oy! :D

[Parrothead]

However, I do take issue with one point a few people made, because I'm sort of wondering if I'm the only one who feels this way. Do you really think that wives should hurry to fix themselves up before their husbands come home? Are we not good enough as we are?

 

I don't do that for when dh comes home from work for the evening. I tend to do it for when he comes home for lunch.:lol:

 

I don't do it specifically for him. I prefer to be ready for the day by the time he comes to get his lunch. For me ready for the day is showered, dressed, a little bit of face on and accessories. Periodically I'll do the hair too but not every day. And dressed can be anything from my jeans (with holes) and a T or sweater (depending on season) to slacks and blouse.

 

I just last year bought nice clothes and I wear them for myself. Since I don't go anywhere most days if I didn't wear them for the pleasure of wearing them they'd never get worn.

 

The make up and accessories are for those unexpected visits from anyone from my friends to the church ladies. It seems that they show up only on days that I'm getting a slow start because the insomnia kicked in the night before, and am in PJ's until 2 p.m.

 

So what I'm saying the longest way possible I dress and dress nice for me. I like it and feel better. If dh likes it then that is a bonus.

[Lostinabook]

Am I the ONLY person on the planet who just cannot wear clothes from Target and Kohls?

 

Nope, I can't wear Target clothes either & it used to be so frustrating! I'd go in, see a bunch of really cute inexpensive clothes, get all excited, grab a huge pile & head for the dressing room. Everything would look dreadful every. single. time. No matter what the size or style it was awful. Shudder. Unfortunately, the clothes that fit me best come from J. Jill & Ann Taylor & I'm NOT paying for those until I'm content with my body size!

[Cindy in C-ville]

I'm not sure who I "get ready" for. There are days, particularly in winter, when EVERYONE is in PJ's all day long. Dh is perfectly fine with it. There are days when I don't make it out of my running clothes until after lunch. There are days when I get up and throw on a pair of gym shorts and a t-shirt fully intending to shower, get dressed, etc., and then the day is gone b/f I know it. However, most days I get a shower and put on normal clothes. I like to look nice. Dh has always told me he fell in love with my heart and more than anything to spend time cultivating the inner beauty that doesn't fade. However, I do like to know that he also finds me physically attractive. I like to know that I'm the one that makes him hot. I like to know that he married me for my heart, my mind, my soul, but he likes my body too. I like to know that I can look at him a certain way and get him all flustered. I like to flirt with him. So, do I dress for him? Not really, but sorta. I dress for him and for me - unless it's a PJ day.

[lcelmer]

I was in a similar situation a while ago. I did go ahead with a plan, (missussmartypants.com/) solids/classy/nice things that were EASY to care for, no ironing, and from the local goodwill... Even just a nice black jacket or comfy but feminine/cute knit skirt can really help round out the closet. :-)

 

If I saw a bargain, like sleeveless tanks w/v neck (nice looking, not tshirt) at walmart for $4 .......I bought 1 of each solid color. They look great with jeans, necklace and cheapo sandalish low heels from target.

 

The key for me was avoiding too many prints...and having a list of what I wanted (dressy pants, "sexy" jeans, knit skirts/ jacket w/ princess seams/ basic knit but not tshirt tops) .............in what colors, ie, black/red/brown for winter and pink/tan/coral for summer.

 

Even just 1 or 2 things a month from the local resale can help... :-)

 

BTW.. I have upper body issues too, and If you can afford it try getting a bigger size shirt and having it altered to fit your upper portion Ask the alteration shop if they can do that before you take off the tags...... :-) Getting a nice fit there is SOOO worth it.... :-)

 

I kno what you mean about off the rack not fitting well, especially with an ample upper, the little empire waist things are sooo awful looking!

[Jill]

Nope, I can't wear Target clothes either & it used to be so frustrating! I'd go in, see a bunch of really cute inexpensive clothes, get all excited, grab a huge pile & head for the dressing room. Everything would look dreadful every. single. time. No matter what the size or style it was awful. Shudder. Unfortunately, the clothes that fit me best come from J. Jill & Ann Taylor & I'm NOT paying for those until I'm content with my body size!

Fit is difficult for me too from the same stores. I am wearing a KMART tank top right now, it's not bad, but my mother bought it for me. It's a little short for today's lower waist pants - I prefer the LandsEnd Tanks since they hang lower. I do find that certain brands accommodate a more womanly figure (mine) and give a bit more age appropriate coverage. I'm not a prude, but I don't prefer flashing my muffin-top that I get with some pants/shorts! Target is hit and miss for me so since I don't have that much time to shop, I don't tend to go there.

Have you tried Coldwater Creek outlet? some of those clothes are somewhat like the J. Jill cuts and they have good deals too.

i like Parrothead's suggestion too.

- Jill