Samiam Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 What is his wife thinking????? So I get, maybe, staying with him after the first time it came out he's been sexting. I mean, I don't know that I would...but I get why someone would try to make it work, she was pregnant or just had the baby at that time, etc. But AGAIN!?!? I just watched a clip of his annoucent, apology for being caught for doing it AGAIN, and there she stands. Standing by him. Why??? She's smart and successful on her own (she worked for Hilary Clinton as of the first scandal). She's beautiful. She'd win in any divorce situation. I mean, after going through the wringer the first time he was caught, and he DOES IT AGAIN, while he's running for Mayor....does she really think he's not going to stop...or even take it further than sexting. Is it just a job for her? A ride along in the political arena?? The whole country, well, at least those who care about NY, know. Every store clerk, every waiter, every taxicab driver, every teacher of your child, every person you see on a daily basis knows you stand there knowing your husband repeatedly "cheats" on you. Why could she possible be thinking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 You're assuming things about their marriage that you cannot possibly know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SadieMarie Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I may have misunderstood, but I don't think he did again while running for mayor. I think it just became public while he was running for mayor. I think she has known about it for a while. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Moxie Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 You're assuming things about their marriage that you cannot possibly know. Yes, because it is such a stretch to assume she wants him keep his penis to himself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 (edited) Nm Edited July 25, 2013 by Moderator Straight to the personal attack? Not helpful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Yes, because it is such a stretch to assume she wants him keep his penis to himself. That's an assumption you are making about a couple you do not actually know in any capacity whatsoever. Just because you cannot fathom or agree with the wife's decisions in this matter, does not make her choices any less valid for her or for them as a couple. In general, public opinions on other people's marriages are irrelevant. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest inoubliable Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Well, I am in a stable marriage with no history of infidelity and I totally agree with Moxie. I can't imagine sticking by this guy. He really has an appropriate last name (that is, if my pronunciation is the right one.) :glare: You guys are assuming this was an infidelity. You have no idea what vows (if any) these two people made to each other. KWIM? Perhaps this is a non-issue in their marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I may have misunderstood, but I don't think he did again while running for mayor. I think it just became public while he was running for mayor. I think she has known about it for a while. I think this is correct. This is just additional information that people were holding until he entered the public eye again, as far as I can tell. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shahrazad Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I know there was a lot of speculation that they had a political marriage and so she is benefiting from the marriage as well for her own career ambitions (and perhaps was most upset with the incident because of the damage it caused to their careers and reputation than for it being infidelity). They could have an arrangement based on that which does not require fidelity amongst themselves (although having a baby together did throw off the original speculation somewhat). Obviously, we don't know. It is certainly possible that she loves him in spite of everything and is staying although they did promise fidelity despite pain to herself. OR it is possible she really doesn't mind that he does that.Hilary stayed with her husband and her career has taken off even more since her husband left office. His position and connections certainly helped her own career in the long run and she likely benefited more from staying in the relationship than she would have if she left as the scorned wife. There have been all kinds of rumors about why she stayed and it could be any of them or none. But, politically, IMO it was a smart move for her own career. It doesn't surprise me that her right-hand woman would act the same way under her advice, especially if she has her own ambitions.The 2nd incident, btw, happened after he resigned and after the public attention on the first scandal but before running again. His wife and he 'dealt' with it after it happened but it hadn't hit the news so when he wanted to run again and get back into the public eye, he came clean about doing so before the woman involved came out with it for notoriety after he was back in the public eye again as a politician. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 That's an assumption you are making about a couple you do not actually know in any capacity whatsoever. Just because you cannot fathom or agree with the wife's decisions in this matter, does not make her choices any less valid for her or for them as a couple. In general, public opinions on other people's marriages are irrelevant. Well said. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Was it with the same woman? If so, I'm fine with it. Also, let's be glad JFK didn't have a Smartphone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shahrazad Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Was it with the same woman? If so, I'm fine with it. Also, let's be glad JFK didn't have a Smartphone. Nope. A different one. It seems like it less about the individual women as it is that he has a strange addiction/compulsion to send people pics of his junk and have phone affairs. Seems like the women involved are more a means to an end to him than someone who was attracted/had a relationship or even loved a woman and cheated on his wife with her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 That's an assumption you are making about a couple you do not actually know in any capacity whatsoever. Just because you cannot fathom or agree with the wife's decisions in this matter, does not make her choices any less valid for her or for them as a couple. In general, public opinions on other people's marriages are irrelevant. If he has no integrity with his wife, what makes you think he will as a political figure? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luanne Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I think his wife wants the notoriety and wants to be a politician's wife. I can see no other reason to stick by a man you can't even trust. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LibraryLover Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Nope. A different one. That's unfortunate. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Audrey Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 If he has no integrity with his wife, what makes you think he will as a political figure? Luanne, I'm not defending the man, or his abilities as either a husband or a political figure. I'm simply addressing those who are blaming the wife for her choice to stay with him. We cannot give any kind of accurate assessment of HER motives, because we do not know them or their marriage. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 Honestly, I might stay with him if we could somehow? maintain an amicable relationship, but it would be purely platonic. Once the kids were grown and settled, I'd probably leave at that point. (If he didn't leave me first.) I've seen what happens in a divorce and IMO it wouldn't be a solution for me as long as I had kids who were counting on me. I completely respect anyone who had to make a different choice, and maybe I would even make that choice myself if I were actually in the situation, but from what I've seen, I can understand why his wife would try to stick it out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I think his wife wants the notoriety and wants to be a politician's wife. I can see no other reason to stick by a man you can't even trust. There are a hundred good reasons that you've not even thought of. I cannot tell you how sure I was that I'd never stick with a cheater. Really, truly, COMPLETELY SURE! It's more complicated than you think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gingersmom Posted July 24, 2013 Share Posted July 24, 2013 I would never ever vote for him but I make no judgement on someones choice to stay with a wayward spouse. I have a family member who stayed with a cheating spouse. It would not have been the decision I would have made but to each his own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SadieMarie Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I think his wife wants the notoriety and wants to be a politician's wife. I can see no other reason to stick by a man you can't even trust. There can be a lot of other reasons. She loves him. She takes marriage vows especially the "for worse" part seriously. She just had a baby. Frankly I find it interesting that people will start with how they don't understand someone else's choices and then go on to be fairly harsh and judgemental. How do you judge what you don't understand? I personally find his actions reprehensible and sort of pathetic and pitiful. But who I am to start putting his wife down? What did she do other than have bad luck in love? Unless I am looking for some other woman to whom I can feel superior, what possible reason do I have to be contemptuous of her? I hope she finds happiness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustEm Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I will assume she takes her marriage vows seriously and truly wants to work it out as a couple. Its as good of a reason for her to stay than any other one people have suggested and in my mind the best. No judgment to her from me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamaraby Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 There are some things that are still basic assumptions in America--one of them is that two married people are only having sex with each other. That is why this is on the news. That is why a threesome marriage is fodder for a reality show. I don't think I'm making a huge leap by assuming that his wife is not happy that he did this. Sorry, but I don't think this is an assumption that anyone should make. Not your marriage? Then you shouldn't make assumptions based upon your own idea of what being married means or what a marriage "should be." And I couldn't care in the least what some politician has done in their marriage, who they love, or who they sleep with. It simply has no bearing on the job as far as I'm concerned. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cricket Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I don't have contempt for her but I do feel sorry for her. That press conference was so icky to me. He isn't sorry at all and will continue to do it because he's a perv. All I can think is that they don't have a typical marriage. They must have a different definition of fidelity or that isn't even a factor because it is more a political alliance. Doesn't make it any less sad to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LucyStoner Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Some people really mean "in good times and bad" in their marriage vows. I am not saying that people can't get divorced. I support any person's right to choose to end their marriage for whatever reason they see fit. But the decision to divorce is personal and not to be taken lightly. Many marriages do survive and even thrive after infidelity. I've never been in her shoes, it's not for me to pass judgment on why she stays or goes or does whatever. And honestly while infidelity would hurt me tremendously and my husband and I most certainly have a monogamous understanding of our marriage, I am not certain it would be an automatic deal breaker. We'd at least try to work through it before calling it quits. My husband is too important to me to be viewed as disposable in any way shape or form for making a mistake. Our marriage is stronger than that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JennyD Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 There can be a lot of other reasons. She loves him. She takes marriage vows especially the "for worse" part seriously. She just had a baby. Frankly I find it interesting that people will start with how they don't understand someone else's choices and then go on to be fairly harsh and judgemental. How do you judge what you don't understand? I personally find his actions reprehensible and sort of pathetic and pitiful. But who I am to start putting his wife down? What did she do other than have bad luck in love? Unless I am looking for some other woman to whom I can feel superior, what possible reason do I have to be contemptuous of her? I hope she finds happiness. Yes, this. I feel just awful for the woman, but I am honestly surprised to see such harsh criticism of her here, of all places. Since when did *not* immediately divorcing one's rotten but nonetheless lawfully married husband, with whom one has a very young child, warrant condemnation? Maybe she's holding out hope that they can work it out and her child won't have to grow up shuttling between two homes, with all that entails. Just like lots of other people in difficult marriages, including plenty who have posted here. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 These aren't new allegations in terms of what he has told his wife. She knew about this before it became public. The only (small...almost non-existent...really, really small) point in his favour is that as far as anyone has said, this is all consensual between adults. The woman from this most recent disclosure says that she was in love with him. And no one has said that he has had sex with any of these women. It is a sex scandal without actual sex. What he has been less than honest about is when he stopped engaging in this behaviour. He had made many, many comments and given interviews that led many people to believe that he had turned over a new leaf, when in fact he had not. The past isn't as past as he would like us to think. Well, I'm sure it feels like ages and ages for him. I think we all know that it takes real self control for him to keep his pants zipped :lol: He's a liar and he's narcissistic enough to think that voters will still vote for him. Some will. He's a scrapper and had a reputation for being tough. People like that. Some won't really care who is mayor and figure Weiner will at least be entertaining while he is in office. He probably will be. I think he's vulnerable to being blackmailed. The primary is in September. It will make August interesting to see if he makes it that far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 You're assuming things about their marriage that you cannot possibly know. There's no assumptions. I asked WHY? That means I'd like insight on WHY a person would do that. The fact is that he's sexting (and this time that is being discussed did happen AFTER he was caught doing it last time. He was caught. He fessed up. He apologized. He did it more). The fact is that she stood there in the news conference and said she's standing by him, they are working on it together. The fact is, by any rights, she's successful on her own. She held a pretty high powered job with Hillary Clinton. Those are all knowns. Not assumptions. I asked why. I thought out reasons that could be possible, ie the political ride. Not assuming...wondering why one would do this. Asking why is a way of trying to understand where another person is coming from when one does not understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I think part of the point is that we can speculate about why and not get *anywhere close* to the reasons/motives that might be true in their case. Perhaps it is that she doesn't want her child to have to bounce back and forth between households. Perhaps she doesn't want her child to have to spend time with a perv dad without her to buffer the contact. Perhaps her husband was abused as a child, and though he clearly has a problem now, she's trying to help him along through the ramifications. Perhaps she's ill and realizes that her husband will eventually be the one that ends up with her kid, and doesn't see the point of splitting now. Perhaps for some reason there is a financial hardship in her life that would make it difficult for her to subsist on her own. Perhaps she's a chronic worrier with a raging ulcer, and he's the one that's able to help her feel calm and on track. Perhaps she hates sex and never intends to engage in it again, and has, as a result, agreed to looser boundaries wrt sex with other people. Perhaps she's a little twisted herself and finds it a bit interesting to have an unusual sex life. Perhaps she's had some inappropriate relationship that crossed the boundaries and now no longer feels justified to complain about his inappropriate actions. Perhaps she has religious convictions that preclude leaving the marriage. Perhaps... Perhaps... Perhaps... There's literally a MILLION reasons she could be making the choice she is. We just don't know, and since I don't know, I absolutely cannot make a judgement about what she's choosing to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dandelion Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 Julie's absolutely right. We could speculate all day and still not hit on her reasons. So there's really no point in trying. Not being snarky - I just really don't see the point. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Retired Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 I think that for some that always say they would never stay with a guy that did such and such they really do mean it until they are faced with the situation then like Julie says there are a lot of different reasons that you may stay..... I do know of 2 couples that are still together and with both the guy has had sexting habit. The one lady has told me that her dh has a addictive personality porn, gabling you name it. She says to her its doesn't affect their emotional or physical relationship. She sees says it like he goes to a strip club get entertained and still is intimate with her. He isn't physical or emotional with anyone. Its just all about the stimulation. I kind of see this with the Weiner dude. I think for some of us we are more reacting to why she would stay with someone that has humiliated her in public. We would be more objective if it was a private matter between the man sexting and this wife. I Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted July 25, 2013 Share Posted July 25, 2013 You guys are assuming this was an infidelity. You have no idea what vows (if any) these two people made to each other. KWIM? Perhaps this is a non-issue in their marriage. They've both said themselves it was infidelity and that it harmed their marriage. So people are wrong for taking them at their word? “I said that other texts and photos were likely to come out, and today they have,†Weiner said. “As I have said in the past, these things that I did were wrong and hurtful to my wife and caused us to go through challenges in our marriage that extended past my resignation from Congress.†“While some things that have been posted today are true and some are not,†he continued, “there is no question that what I did was wrong. This behavior is behind me.†... “Our marriage, like many others has had its ups and its downs,†Abedin said. “It took a lot of work and whole lot of therapy to get to a place where I could forgive Anthony.†Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Samiam Posted July 25, 2013 Author Share Posted July 25, 2013 Huh, here's an article that just popped up on my Yahoo news...interesting. There's that "assumption" word again, "WHY?" ;) http://shine.yahoo.com/love-sex/huma-abedin-stands-her-man-why-172400405.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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