So I hit "send" but now have second thoughts - email to school principal

[trinchick]

DD (public school second grade) has informed me that they're watching Dumbo during library class for the rest of the year. They also watch a movie the week before school vacations. Also, during regular library time, the librarian doesn't read to them or provide instruction. They check their books back in, return them to the stacks (I think this is a good exercise), select a new book, and then read for the rest of the class.

 

So I sent the email below to the principal this morning, but now I'm wondering if I'm going to become "that mother" and have made DD a pariah in her school. Would love some feedback from the Hive.

 

__________________________

My daughter has been having a great year in XXXX's class. She attended the Paw Sox game on Friday night and had a wonderful time, so thank you very much for supporting that program.

I am writing, though, because I am concerned about the weekly library classes. I know it's the end of the year, and things are winding down, but my daughter tells me that they're watching Dumbo in library for the rest of the year. I recognize that the librarian may have other tasks to attend to during the class, but perhaps it would be possible to dedicate even a little bit of time to reading them a picture book, starting them on a book-related game/activity, or just asking them to read silently. And if it's absolutely necessary to play a movie, then surely there's something with its origin in literature that could be played instead. It just kills me know that they're sitting in a room full of books watching Dumbo.

I'm not trying to be a killjoy or a tattletale. I know that every minute of every day can't be (nor should be) instructional. I also know that there are only two weeks left in the year, so I'm not expecting any immediate change. But I am hopeful that things will be different in future years (also before school vacation weeks, when I understand that a movie is also played).

Thanks again for all of your hard work at the XXXX School. XXXX has such pride in her school, and it's been a pleasure to watch her learn and grow over the past two years.

[sassenach]

It needed to be sent, don't second guess yourself. The year before we pulled dd out of school, I was in the principal's office complaining about movie watching several times.

[KayT]

Oh my this really brings back memories! You are not the first and you won't be the last I'm sure to make these suggestions. I was that parent back in the 80's when my dd came home from school and was afraid after watching the Disney movie Pinocchio. They told her she could sit in the hallway if she didn't want to watch, so once a week she did! I see nothing has changed.

 

I'm sure they are all tired and just want to wrap the school year up on a relaxed note.

[JennyD]

I think it's a very good letter -- friendly, not demanding instant change, but pointing out an ongoing problem. The line about the kids sitting in a room of books watching Dumbo makes your point especially well.

[marbel]

This would upset me too. I remember the stunned feeling I got when a friend told me her kid's third grade class watched the cartoon show "Arthur" during library time. An occasional movie is fine; even better if it has a tie-in to a familiar book. But not all the time.

 

If you get a chance to follow up, you might make a suggestion for next year: if the library staff is too busy during the last few weeks of school to do actual library stuff with the students, maybe they could solicit parent volunteers to come in and read to the kids, etc. But do that only if you anticipate being able and willing to volunteer yourself!

 

 

FWIW, I've never had a kid in school but my husband tells me that if I did, I would be "that" mom.

 

And, as someone else, said, don't second-guess yourself. You sent the letter! Now prepare for the response.

[unsinkable]

I think it is fine. My only advice would be to have spoken/emailed the librarian first, especially with our other concerns.

 

(And as a jealous aside, I'd LOVE to be a school librarian! And we wouldn't watch movies, either!)

[JessReplanted]

I have nothing to add to the topic, but I just wanted to say that I grew up going to Paw Sox games. :)

[HomeschoolMamaOfTwo]

How long is this class? How do you watch Dumbo for two weeks?

[itsheresomewhere]

How long is this class? How do you watch Dumbo for two weeks?

 

I am taking a wild guess but in the public schools around here, library is 15-30 once or twice a week.

[Ellie]

1. Dumbo is a classic movie. I wouldn't mind if my dc watched it in school.

 

2. I've never heard of a "library class." When I went to the school library, I perused the stacks, returned books, checked out the books I wanted, and read what I had checked out. There was never a time when the librarian read aloud to us, or, well, actually had any interaction with us other than helping us find books if we needed help. Our classroom teachers taught us how to use the library. I guess you're used to more going on, but it's not something I could get worked up over so close to the end of the school year, especially not for such young children.

 

3. But it isn't a bad letter.

[unsinkable]

1. Dumbo is a classic movie. I wouldn't mind if my dc watched it in school.

 

2. I've never heard of a "library class." When I went to the school library, I perused the stacks, returned books, checked out the books I wanted, and read what I had checked out. There was never a time when the librarian read aloud to us, or, well, actually had any interaction with us other than helping us find books if we needed help. Our classroom teachers taught us how to use the library. I guess you're used to more going on, but it's not something I could get worked up over so close to the end of the school year, especially not for such young children.

 

3. But it isn't a bad letter.

 

#2 -- things have changed in the last 30 years.

[trinchick]

Thanks for the responses. I'm breathing a deep sigh of relief. I especially like the suggestion to volunteer to go into the class for a day to lead an activity.

 

I agree that it probably would have been better to contact the school librarian directly, but I've never met her and don't have her email.

 

Dumbo is an hour long. Class is 25 minutes once a week. They showed it last week and the next two weeks, so three weeks total. Like I said, I don't mind an occasional movie, but three weeks in a row with no instruction is just a wasted opportunity.

 

They're showing a movie in her regular class on the last day of school. I have absolutely NO problem with that.

[Joker]

I wouldn't have sent anything for a once a week, 25 minute class at the end of the year.

 

I have become 'that' mom for my dds in ps but it didn't happen until middle school and I choose my battles carefully so they really mean something. So far, it's worked and I've been able to get everything I've asked (fought) for, but I don't think it would be that way if I did it for everything that bothered me.

[Lang Syne Boardie]

I would object to the content, unless Dumbo is being used to teach about racial stereotypes and class prejudice.

[catz]

If it were a one time class thing, I would have no issue. But for multiple classes? You were right to send it. I pulled my kid that had unique needs out of school because it was just too difficult to be "that mom" at the level I was going to need to be for that kid. It's less work to homeschool IMO!

[trinchick]

I wouldn't have sent anything for a once a week, 25 minute class at the end of the year.

 

I have become 'that' mom for my dds in ps but it didn't happen until middle school and I choose my battles carefully so they really mean something. So far, it's worked and I've been able to get everything I've asked (fought) for, but I don't think it would be that way if I did it for everything that bothered me.

 

 

It's three weeks, though. I honestly wouldn't have minded if it were just for the last week of school.

 

And I'm usually pretty careful about choosing my battles, so I get what you're saying. But the library in general hasn't been sitting well with me all along. Even when I was a kid the librarian would read to us and help guide us to books we might like. And DD was at a different school for kindergarten, and that librarian read to them and led an activity (coloring page, word search, design a book cover, etc.) I suppose I really should have addressed that instead of the movie. In fact in one of my (numerous) early drafts I did, but then I figured where it was the end of the year, I should leave it alone.

 

I would object to the content, unless Dumbo is being used to teach about racial stereotypes and class prejudice.

 

 

Yes, yes, yes. I also started to comment on this, but decided I didn't want the principal to pick up on the movie choice issue over the waste of time issue.

[Ellie]

#2 -- things have changed in the last 30 years.

 

 

Make it *40* years, lol.

[Myeightkiddies]

I'm a retired principal. My opinion is that you should have sent the letter. I doubt that the principal will think of you as "that mother", and your daughter will not be singled out or labeled (or anything). There is nothing in the letter that would do any of that. If he/she is a good principal, they will read it and check into the matter. If the principal is ready for the year to end and is overly busy, most likely nothing will be done.

 

Your letter was very kind. Unfortunately some require a lot more "squeak" to get the wheels turning. At any rate, don't worry about backlash. Actually, when I read your letter it seems more to be a passionate suggestion rather than a battle. The principal would have to be a nutcase to even be upset by such a letter. The librarians and/or teachers will most likely not even know who complained - if they are informed of the complaint at all.

[Jeannie in NJ]

when my son was in school ( special ed 5th thru beginning of 8th grades), he is now finishing 9th grade at home, they used to show lots of movies. He did not want to watch the movies so he would tell me not to sign the permission slips. He was the only one that did not watch the movies so they had him stay in the front office. He became friends with all the front staff including the principal and would even eat lunch with them once a week. The front staff loved him but the guidance counsler was "concerned" that he was friends with adults rather than his classmates so they started discouraging him from hanging out in the front office. Also when my dd went to school for 3/4 of 9th grade, she said they wasted so much time watching movies that she asked to come back home for homeschool. I agree with your letter but it seems like most schools spend a lot to time showing movies so probably will not change.

[CaitlinC]

I loved your letter; it was very tactful and positive. I only wish that more parents would be like you and speak out about movies during school time.

[Alexigail]

I thought the letter was great and you did a nice job of expressing your concerns.

 

I would object to the content, unless Dumbo is being used to teach about racial stereotypes and class prejudice.

 

This is basically what I was planning to say.

[Little Nyssa]

I think it's a good letter, but I would have left out the paragraph that starts "I'm not trying to be a killjoy" because there is no need to defend yourself. You have a legitimate concern.

[Reeciecup]

 

 

2. I've never heard of a "library class." When I went to the school library, I perused the stacks, returned books, checked out the books I wanted, and read what I had checked out. There was never a time when the librarian read aloud to us, or, well, actually had any interaction with us other than helping us find books if we needed help. Our classroom teachers taught us how to use the library. I guess you're used to more going on, but it's not something I could get worked up over so close to the end of the school year, especially not for such young children.

 

 

 

We had Library class when I was in elementary. We learned how to use the card catalog, and the dewey decimal system. We learned how fiction books were organized by author and non fiction by topic. It was a useful class and I learned a lot there. We only had it once a week. But when my own kid went to elementary they didn't have library class anymore. The kids went to the library two at a time during class time to test on whatever book they had read and to check out a new one. Some kids never went to the library because they didn't like to read. I taught my dd all the stuff I learned in library class myself, because no one teaches that stuff at her school anymore.

[beaners]

 

 

We had Library class when I was in elementary. We learned how to use the card catalog, and the dewey decimal system. We learned how fiction books were organized by author and non fiction by topic. It was a useful class and I learned a lot there. We only had it once a week. But when my own kid went to elementary they didn't have library class anymore. The kids went to the library two at a time during class time to test on whatever book they had read and to check out a new one. Some kids never went to the library because they didn't like to read. I taught my dd all the stuff I learned in library class myself, because no one teaches that stuff at her school anymore.

 

This sounds like the library class I had too.

[tex-mex]

The letter seemed fine to me.

 

I'm a former Elementary Schoolteacher. I have to admit I am having a tough time figuring out why the school librarian has to show a movie... unless she is not allowing the students to check out a book the last few weeks of school? I recall my library times truly being only 20 minutes. It took us 5 minutes to get there. And another 5 minutes to get out of the library by 25 minutes (before or after the hour) -- so the other teacher's class (waiting outside) can enter in. I've experienced really good librarians and really lousy librarians.

 

I think this librarian could have done a group lesson, genre wrapup of the year powerpoint, or a fun class game... eh, but that is just me. Sorry that happened to you. But on the other hand, Dumbo is a good movie.

[ThisIsTheDay]

I think it's a good letter, but I would have left out the paragraph that starts "I'm not trying to be a killjoy" because there is no need to defend yourself. You have a legitimate concern.

 

Agree.

 

Watching Disney/Pixar type movies in first grade was one thing in a list of several that caused us to withdraw dd from a wonderful charter school when she was in first grade. I figured she could watch movies at home, and I wouldn't have to spend 1.5 hours a day commuting and waiting in carpool lines.

[trinchick]

So just to close the loop, I did receive a response from the principal, with which I am satisfied.

 

From the Principal:

 

Thanks for checking in, I am glad the PawSox went well....I wish I could have attended but I had a sick little guy at home.

 

I am glad that you are sharing your information on the library, I will look into it and see what I can find out. I have honestly not seen an overabundance of any movies and I do walk by frequently, but it is always good to double-check to make sure

things are always academic in nature.

 

Thanks for the communication, it is always helpful. :-)

 

My response:

 

Thanks, Mr. XXX. I'm not opposed to movies as a general rule; three weeks straight just seems a bit much. In the future, I'd be happy to volunteer to help out with reading aloud or an activity if the librarian is tight on time.

 

I think the reason I brought this to your attention is that I'm not hearing about a lot of instruction/teacher guidance/reading aloud during library time in general - even during weeks not leading into vacation. It's the end of the year, so probably not the best time to address this issue, but it is something I'm curious about.

 

Thanks for checking into this, and have a great summer!

[marbel]

OP, your exchange with your principal sounds good. I think you will not become 'that" mom, but just a concerned and involved mom, which is what everyone wants, right?

 

Total aside here: Am I the only one who thinks Dumbo is a terrible movie? Wasn't there a scene with drunk clowns? Ick. I agree that it has educational value but I wouldn't want my kids watching it in school. I just asked my 15-year-old if he remembers it and he said "Yes! It was horrible! I hated that movie!"

[Dahliarw]

My mom was a librarian up until this past school year at a private school. The last few weeks of school were closed to checking out books and the stacks were closed so she could inventory and make sure all the books were accounted for.

 

That being said, you can do "library" without checking out books. At the minimum, read a book. Watch a short movie/show based on the book. Discuss how the book translated into the movie. Did you like it? How were the characters same/different? How would you translate said book into a television program? etc.

[AmyontheFarm]

This issue doesn't go away in high school either. I found out this week my high schooler watched Fast and Furious during automotive class. Not just one move, ALL of them available!

[Spryte]

I would object to the content, unless Dumbo is being used to teach about racial stereotypes and class prejudice.

 

 

I agree. That was my first thought.

 

Of all the movies that could be chosen ... Dumbo?? Bad choice on so many levels.