Shelving books/preparing books for circulation in a library? As a teen, I found those jobs soothing without being isolating.

I'm sorry, I don't know about free parking at hotels. The parking situation in Montreal depends on the area and time of day. Downtown will cost about $25 a day in a parking lot. There are lots of paid parking spots but the more central you are, the more likely you will have to drive around to find something. You just need to be persistent, something always turns up. Btw, I agree with everything Hornblower had to say. Definitely tank up in the States. Gas is supposedly $1.23 a litre (1/4 gallon) today in Montreal, but in my neighbourhood it's $1.30.

Can't help you with the border questions, but I wouldn't bring too much food. There are a wide range of grocery stores to suit all budgets and since you've been to Qc City before, you know that there are many wonderful bakeries and places where you can buy wonderful cheeses, charcuteries, bread etc! Please don't bring much food, even if budget is a concern. It's possible to live well here (including street food, poutine, "steamies" (hot dogs with mustard, cole slaw and onion) without breaking the bank. I'm not sure, but you might find that some alcohol is more expensive (namely wine). Beer might not be so bad, you can buy it in "dépanneurs" (convenience stores). In Quebec City, I can recommend the Restaurant Parmesan on rue St-Louis. As the name suggests, the food is Italian and one of the owners even makes the smoked salmon and prosciutto. And the decor is something else. There's a very fun vibe there. For a relaxed morning reading the paper and munching on croissants dunked in café au lait, I can recommend Paillard on rue St Jean. For a more formal and substantial brunch, there's Ciel! Bistro, a revolving restaurant at the Hotel Le Concorde on Cours General de Montcalm which we also really liked. I'm sure the dinner menu is very good too but we chose brunch as the less expensive option. For things to do, we loved our guided tour of the Citadel, the musée nationale des beaux arts du Québec, shopping at Simons (Quebec department store chain, near Paillard), just wandering the streets, taking the funicular etc. We didn't have time for the Musée de la Civilization but I'm sure it's worth checking out. Outside Quebec City, there's the Chutes Montmorency, which I haven't seen but my daughter did on a school trip and loved. It's tougher to focus on things in Montreal because the city is that much larger. It is definitely worth going to Mont Royal for a walk, especially on a weekend when everybody is out and about. People watching is a big thing, and can continue in the myriad of cafés on rue St Denis, Parc, St Laurent ("The Main") or anywhere in the Plateau. If you're really hungry, fresh squeezed orange juice, bagels and blintzes at Beauty's on rue Mont-Royal is great. There's usually a line-up, but they're efficient at getting people in and out. If you have read Mordecai Richler, you can explore the neighbourhood that he immortalized in his books. I'm afraid that this is not the most beautiful time of the year in Montreal if you're coming now, so please forgive us the dirty grey (remnants of) snow, brown grass and bare tree branches. I don't know where you live, but perhaps your conditions are similar so hopefully you won't be disappointed. (also, Quebec City is colder than Montreal). Even so, it's worth just walking around various areas and exploring where your fancy takes you. Old Montreal is cool (including Pointe à Callière museum). Downtown there's the McCord museum across from McGill University and its campus, not to mention the underground shopping. The aforementioned Plateau is worth exploring, also Outremont and Westmount (for a bourgeois vibe). My family enjoyed a recent trip to the Musée SaintGabriel in Pointe-Saint-Charles. There's a more bohemian feel in Verdun and neighbouring St Henri. I think I've gone on enough! If you have specific questions, particularly about Montreal, feel free to pm me. I haven't even touched on some of the wonderful national parks around the city where you could enjoy hiking. Enjoy your trip!

Will do.

Thanks Pen. Yes, once the dust has settled and we have some experience with the meds, I think I'll talk to him again about whether he would like to pursue an evaluation and some of the possible interventions and approaches. I so appreciate everyone's thoughts, experiences and suggested resources. I may not have responded individually, but I will be following-up on the links and no doubt re-reading your responses. You are an amazing group.

Thank you. I didn't know that about SLPs, that's very interesting. Just got back from my DS's music lesson. His teacher is amazing - he explains things so well, makes it fun, and seems to really get him. He's made a lot of progress. I wish it were possible to clone him and convince his double to be that amazing therapist that I'll be looking for. Anyway, for now, he's getting music therapy. :-)

He's not very clear about why he thinks he may be autistic. When the conversation is on an emotional subject, it can be hard to get him to discuss it, even if he's raised the issue himself. He tends to be a feeling avoider, although I would describe him as quite passionate. We have had discussions around how autism is a spectrum on the spectrum of human experience, that anxiety and ADHD symptoms can be quite similar in appearance etc. Like a lot of kids these days, he's quite well informed on the panoply of diagnoses out there. That being said, when he was younger, an autistic child joined his class and he noticed her stimming and said that sometimes he wanted to do that too. I have never actually seen him do that in any situation though, even in unguarded moments. He is also fairly sensitive to sounds. This is something that has diminished as he gets older, but is still present. But I think that the thing that triggered it recently is the social difficulties that he sometimes has with his peers. He can be quite judgemental and irritable with them and in one instance, was told that he was just like someone's autistic cousin. I would say though that that was something that confirmed his own self-doubt rather than a revelation. I'm still trying to process all this (what can I say, I'm a plodder :-) ), but I will say that he is not obviously autistic. I'm not saying that he isn't, but it's not something that was flagged by the psychologist who saw him in grade 2, nor the neuropsychologist who saw him in grade 5, nor has anyone around us (friends, teachers, coaches etc.) suggested that we should investigate further. He had OT for about a year for his dysgraphia, but at a clinic that treats autistic children and nothing was said there. The fact is that I could probably prepare a list of autistic-type behaviours (avoiding eye contact, occasionally missing social cues) and a list of attributes/behaviours that suggest not. He's also quite mature, serious, curious and can be, when he's relaxed, quite charming and non-irritable and is able to meet new people and make friends quickly with kids who have common interests (but since he has a very broad range of interests, and then certain well defined passions, this isn't all that difficult for him). I think that he can be very perceptive. (Actually, I just looked back at the neuropsychologist report and I see that she assessed his abilities in critical and social judgment as high average.) At this point, I am leaning towards starting the medication to see if that will bring the anxiety down a bit. For the posters that suggest physical activity, he has increased his physical activity somewhat in that he does curling on the weekends. I do encourage walks outdoors. He needs to be encouraged in that direction though, he does not like to move. I'm definitely not going to push therapy at this point. As several people have pointed out, he has to be motivated and I can see that this is especially true for a teen. Meanwhile, I will read through the materials that I've been directed to here and look into the sorts of resources that we have available locally and try to get a handle on what he actually needs.

Thank you, I am processing all this ...

I'm looking for the EF (executive function?) piece. He has (occasional) talk therapy already, and that's one of the things that lead him to the psychiatrist for evaluation. It came out in therapy that he thinks he's autistic. His psychologist thought that we should treat the anxiety first before or instead of going down the road of assessments for autism. That's interesting that the CBT could be done like that. I was under the impression that it had to be intense. Definitely, something that could be done in tandem on an occasional basis, or at home on-line would appeal more to him. He seemed to be getting stressed over the thought of having to add one more thing to his plate, which I understand.

On the role of the psychiatrist, I think that she does or has in the past done CBT with her patients, but actually what I meant, and it is somewhat poorly phrased, is that he won't be getting therapy in conjunction with the medication (because he isn't open to it at this point) ie. I wasn't disturbed by her, it's the idea of him taking meds without learning strategies in conjunction with them. When we were in the office with the psychiatrist, it all made sense, but once we got home and I started thinking about it, well that's when the doubt started seeping in. So I'm very grateful for all your feedback. It's given me food for thought and reassurance. Thanks

In addition to the ideas above, if it's possible to get together on a regular basis with someone (student, teacher) from France for a coffee or whatever for gentle conversation. Also, watch French films with subtitles. Whatever strategy(ies) you choose, ramp up the immersion shortly before your trip.

Hi, My ds (ADHD inattentive, dysgraphia) has been seen by a psychiatrist for assessment on his levels of anxiety. They have always been there, but with the teen years they have really ramped up. His anxiety affects his learning (ex. his neuropsychological report of 2013 notes that anxiety interferes with his executive functioning) and his social interactions. After four sessions with him, the psychiatrist, who is considered the top specialist in the city for children/teens anxiety floated the idea of medication (Prozac) with him (the age of consent where we live is fourteen, he's going on fifteen). He is very keen to try the medication. I am not thrilled with the idea (he is already on Concerta) but not adamantly opposed either. The problem as I see it is that the psychiatrist will not give him therapy in conjunction with the medication. He is not particularly open to the idea and the psychiatrist told us that this is very common in teens. She did say that sometimes taking the meds can make the individual more open to therapy, but not always. She made the point that teens' schedules are very full and that fitting in intensive CBT, which is what is needed for it to work, is very difficult. She told me privately that his anxiety is very, very high. She also told us that untreated anxiety can lead to depression (something I can attest to having lived it myself and I am not actually that anxious a person, it was mostly situational). Boy am I ever sorry that we did not tackle this before the teen years. I guess I didn't really appreciate how anxiety was contributing to his issues. I am wondering if anyone would be willing to share some btdt stories of coming to terms with anxiety for the first time in the teen years, and thoughts on medication without CBT therapy? He does occasionally talk to a psychologist but she isn't specialized in CBT. (Please don't quote as I may delete certain parts of this message for privacy) Thank you so much.

Hi, There is an overwhelming amount of material available for the hyperactive type, but not as much for inattentive. There was a mom, Tess Messer, who kept a blog that was quite good: http://www.primarilyinattentiveadd.com She isn't keeping it up anymore, but the articles are still there and may be worth a perusal. (there's a lot of references to scientific research which she's read and summarizes) ... (Edited for privacy)

Thank you so much! I did think a magic recipe was a bit of a stretch :-) , but having a method all written out for us is the next best thing. I will definitely incorporate oral chanting into the routine. I will also take a look at the notebook chart, which looks like it could be a good all-in-one quick reminder. Many thanks!

Well I guess the title says it all. My dd12, who was previously in an English school, is now at school in French and needs to do some catching up with verbs (present, imparfait, future simple), and fast. I was not very efficient at learning verbs when I was in school so I'm wondering if anyone can recommend any methods and resources that could help us get it done? I am willing to coach her, or buy her an app ... if any exist!

We were in the same situation as you described, but what we ended up doing was taking a bus to Pescara because there were more options in terms of departure times. I was really against doing that initially (bus doesn't have the same cachet in my books!), but I didn't see us hanging around the airport for 3 hours with two kids. The bus ride turned out to be just as picturesque as the train ride and quite comfortable. They even served us coffee. So that might be an option for you. Alternatively, I think we would just have gone to a restaurant/café on-site and had a meal.

That was lovely!

My ds did an intensive IM programme in grade 4 through his tutoring centre, not through an OT. I had no idea of the link between OT and IM at the time, so OT came later for us. My ds swears by IM. He says that it really helped him with his timing and rhythm. He is convinced that IM triggered certain things that he did not have before, like an ability to play basketball. I am a little more skeptical. The formal evaluation that was done after the programme showed large gains in areas that were already strengths, and in areas that were weak, very little progression or even some regression. The truth is that it is really hard to sort out whether his progress is due to maturity, IM and/or some other intervention, or a combination of factors.

We have some lovely recordings by Anne-Sophie Mutter.

If you are going to go to the Botanical Gardens and Biosphere (both recommended), the new Planetarium is right there too. It's great. Montrealers are experiencing spring fever right now, after a long winter and cool spring. So if you can take a stroll on Mount Royal, you'll get a good flavour of the joie de vivre. If you do a morning walk, you could reward yourselves with brunch at Beauty's Luncheonette on Mont-Royal. Continue east for shopping on rue St Denis and Laurier. Boulevard St Laurent is also worth exploring. Lots of interesting neighbourhoods, restos and cafés all around. If it's raining, our kids highly and I mean highly, recommend the Game On exhibit at the Science Centre in Old Montreal (although I suspect you might want to avoid it on the weekend). PM me if you have questions. Have a wonderful few days.

I don't understand. The hotel won't call you for privacy/security reasons, but they will hand over an iPad and all that that entails from a privacy/security perspective to a stranger (to you)? Seems contradictory to me.

"Is it just me?" Not at all! The punishment exceeds the crime. If we extrapolate to a work situation, imagine being uninvited from the Christmas party because you handed your monthly report in a few days late? Or spent a little too much time chatting to your neighbour at the water cooler?! Makes no sense. Frankly, I've counselled a client that such an action was a form of constructive dismissal (the trigger event in an overall pattern of behaviour), and negotiated a severance package for her on that basis! By excluding your DS from the party, the teacher sent a message to the other children, whether intentional or not, that he is not an integral part of the class and that it is ok to exclude him from an important end-of-the-year festivity. And apart from that, it was just a really mean, petty, thing to do - particularly since your son is sociable. Have you spoken with other parents? Judging by her comments about the spelling tests, there may be other families who are experiencing problems with her and if so, then you could raise your concerns to the principal as a group, if only to ensure that your feelings about her are known should they be in a position where they are considering extending her contract or inviting her back. For now, I would really hesitate about getting into IEPs and 504s with this particular teacher. In any event, it is best to do this with the permanent teacher. Your DS sounds terrific and I'm sure that things will be fine in the long run. All the best.

Wow. Thank you for this. You have given me the courage of my convictions. I agree that it's very tough to be a teacher in today's world and we have been blessed for the past two years with very understanding and encouraging ones. So we've been spoiled in that regard and I was hoping for more of the same. I'm going to have a word with the principal about the sticker. My observation of him is that he's a compassionate man and I am optimistic that he will see my point of view ;-) I will also have a conference with the resource teacher and teacher. I have an approach planned out; we'll see how it goes. Many thanks.

Hi, yes he gets a separate IEP and I can see that they've included some comments about his progress. The content of the curriculum is not changed in any way. The quantity of math is sometimes reduced because he's slow with his math facts and so it takes him time to progress through the work. However, he does not have any difficulty understanding the material. I bought him the Murderous Math series last year, and he devoured the whole thing in a couple of weeks. They don't cut back the quantity of work in English. OneStep has correctly characterized the tone of the comments in the report card. You get a sense that it's all a huge bother for her. The IEP (first I've seen of it was today; meeting to be held next week) mentions that he is making progress in participating in class. Now why couldn't that be in the report card rather than hidden in the IEP? I know this may sound like splitting hairs, but I think it's important.

I am having a hard time processing this, so I am going to keep this brief. I would be interested to know whether the Hive thinks it is ok that there is a giant sticker with lettering in size 20 font and capitals letters stuck to the general comment section of a report card that says, STUDENT ON IEP. The normal font in the report card is a size 9. Furthermore, all of the homeroom teacher's comments are about his poor focus and the accommodations she is making. There are also references to the IEP and the necessity of sending him to the resource room in order to get him to organize his thoughts and write. There are three comments about his handwriting, and how if he makes an effort, it is neat but otherwise it is hard for her to read it. Ds (11) is ADHD-Inattentive and Dysgraphic but, as I know you all know from your own children, he is so much more than that (up until now, honour role, many awards for perseverance and dedication etc). You wouldn't have an inkling of that from her comments. My thoughts are that the numerous comments about the accommodations, IEP and resource room, do not belong in the report card . I think that these put him at a disadvantage to other students who are not on IEPs, particularly when the whole idea behind these is to level the playing field (at least I thought it was). I can't see what the purpose of the IEP sticker is, other than to tell the world that he has a problem of some kind. What I'd like is validation that I'm not in left field here, because I'm tempted to take this further. That being said, I've had sufficient cups of tea and a venting session with a friend, so I can probably even accept some feedback that doesn't just agree with me ... please be gentle though, I'm feeling a little raw. Many thanks.