Home Visit from the school

[Slipper]

My youngest daughter needed testing for learning disabilities and we couldn't afford it through our psychiatrist/psychologist's office. I asked the school to test her and they were agreeable (this was back in March). As part of her testing, they need to do an observation of her doing schoolwork and at play. Her math tutor is a public school teacher and at first they were going to ask her to do the observation for them. However, they called last week and said they needed to come out to our house and observe me working with her.

 

I'm not worried about them finding anything weird or odd. We're in a very relaxed state for homeschooling and the teacher I'm spoken with is very nice. I am anxious over the visit, simply because that's the type of thing to make me anxious.

 

Any idea how long an observation lasts? Is there anything specific they would like to see? Currently, I plan to go over her math work and perhaps do a spelling test. If they want more, I will have her read her next reading lesson to me..

 

Updated in post #28

[weederberries]

That smacks of a situation I would NOT want to be in. Before agreeing to this, I would call HSLDA. There may be legal ramifications to allowing them to evaluate you and your daughter.

[texasmama]

One of my kids has been tested by the diagnostician at the public schools four times over a period of ten years. No one ever came to my house.

 

Would it be the school psychologist who comes to the house? Sometimes kids are observed in a classroom as a part of a formal or informal evaluation, particularly for ADHD. IME, this has involved collecting data with a classroom peer as a "control". I would not think this relevant in your case at all.

 

I would ask what information they hoped to gain by observing her in your home. I would also suggest that I bring curriculum up to the school and work with her as they observe. If they persist, then I think something fishy is going on. I wouldn't jump to "something fishy" without further clarification, but this does seem unusual.

[Crimson Wife]

FYI, under IDEA you have the right to an independent evaluation done by the professional of your choice at the district's expense. I highly recommend getting one if you don't already have one on file. We had my youngest evaluated by a developmental pediatrician prior to her IEP assessment so the district was on notice going into the assessment that I would fight any potential denial of services they might try to do.

[kentuckymom]

This really doesn't seem weird to me. Feel free to be cautious and ask for clarification of exactly why they want to come to your home, but it seems likely to me that they just want to observe your daughter in her normal learning environment. If you bring her up to the school and work with her, that adds a factor that isn't normally present. IMO, homeschoolers are sometimes unnecessarily suspicious of public school officials. Of course, I'm an afterschooler, so you can feel free to ignore anything I say about the public schools if you so choose.

 

If they do come to your house, my advice is to just do your best to ignore them and work with your daughter as you always do.

[prairiewindmomma]

We've had public school teachers/workers in our home several times.

 

With our dd, who had recently become deaf/blind (extremely low vision), they came to see how our house was laid out and what materials we were using with her. They gave me some really great insight into how to work with what vision she had, and set us up with a number of adaptive materials including a dynavox so she could communicate with people outside of the family. (She developed selective mutism.) I was trained on how to better utilize an abacus with her for learning her math facts, and we worked on retraining her to write with her left hand as her right hand had lost a lot of function from the TBI. The observation was mixed in with them working with me, and it took about an hour.

 

With our boys, they wanted to see how they functioned in their normal environment. It was about 20 minutes of them watching with me, and then about an hour of testing for one child, half an hour of "informal assessment" for the other. All of that said....I highly recommend getting a medical diagnosis first and THEN working with their team. Our school district is helpful if you have a medical diagnosis, and they try like mad to deny doing full testing and to deny services if you don't have the medical diagnosis FIRST.

[PeterPan]

We did our psych eval privately, and while he would have gone to the school to observe and talk with a teacher, yes, he obviously didn't with us. I took him some video I made, simply because I had things I wanted explained. No, I would not allow a school official in my house, sorry.

 

Edited: Sounds like Prairie had a very positive experience.

[Momof3littles]

This really doesn't seem weird to me. Feel free to be cautious and ask for clarification of exactly why they want to come to your home, but it seems likely to me that they just want to observe your daughter in her normal learning environment. If you bring her up to the school and work with her, that adds a factor that isn't normally present. IMO, homeschoolers are sometimes unnecessarily suspicious of public school officials. Of course, I'm an afterschooler, so you can feel free to ignore anything I say about the public schools if you so choose.

 

If they do come to your house, my advice is to just do your best to ignore them and work with your daughter as you always do.

 

 

I agree that it isn't necessarily all that unusual. Iworked in early intervention as a PT, and then also did some minimal work in the school system, and a moderate amount in a special needs preschool. I can remember being involved in evaluations and treatment for two different homeschooled students through the school system. In this case, one was definitely doing more of an online charter type of thing, but her sisters were all traditionally homeschooled. I think the parents were using the online charter as in my state at that time it would have kept her eligible for services.

 

HSing wasn't really on my radar as something I'd do personally, but I definitely was not suspicious at all of the family or there to report about anything in their personal life.

 

That said, as a HSer, I do minimize my involvement with my district, but I live in a very strict state with laws and SDs regularly overstep their boundaries here.

 

edited to add: are you networked with any support groups that have connections or familiarity with how things work with special needs, IEPs, etc. in your state for HSers? Do they have any specific advice? In my state there are additional hoops to jump through if a student has an IEP, but recent clarification also states that a parent has the right to drop the IEP. Not sure how that would impact services, etc. in your state, or if the presence of say an IEP to get some services would complicate homeschooling in your state?

[CatholicMom]

This seems like a strange way to start testing to me. I was having my ds tested for LDs by a licensed clinical psychologist who I privately hired and he never mentioned coming to my home. He did a series of tests in his office. Why would the psychologist not ask to come to my home if this was standard procedure for diagnosing an LD?

 

I would contact a homeschool support group in your area (or at least your state), or contact HSLDA and just ask what options you have for getting your child tested without involving the school district. I'm sure they'd be happy to help.

 

I would not get involved with the school district unless absolutely necessary. I think there has to be another way to get your child tested for LDs. I would probably back out and think about it. She may be really nice and not "up to" anything, but you never know so many variables 1) who she will bring along, 2) who she will discuss results with (possibly someone very anti-homeschooling), 3) who will suggest she come again, and again, and again... perhaps for slightly different reasons having more to do with your homeschool than looking for LD symptoms, 4) if she will be sick one day and another person will come in her place who isn't so friendly...

 

I know that may sound paranoid but I've heard too many stories so I think you should proceed with caution.

 

Once you give a mouse a cookie...

 

ETA: I think it would be a little less suspicious (though I'd still be wary) if they had already done testing and narrowed it down to a behavioral issue like ADHD. But a house visit right off the bat seems strange and a bit much.

[prairiewindmomma]

I should come back and add that taking my kids in to the school wasn't a great option at the time of the assessments.

 

My dd had just come out of the hospital post-chemo. Her ANC had been 0 a few days before. She was in no position to be anywhere out in public, and certainly not in a germy school position.

 

My boys are both severely asthmatic. The school building has carpet flooring glued to concrete (mold!) and we were trying to assess them without the boys being on albuterol. For one of my ds's, the stimulant effect of albuterol makes him much more functional, for the other it makes him so wired that you have to pry him off the ceiling to work with him. Neither would have been "themselves". It was something we discussed with the evaluation team, and it was easy enough for them to come here.

 

All of that said, trust your gut. In our school district, early intervention people come to you, and so it's not a big deal AT ALL for PTs, OTs, SL-Ps, etc. to make home visits for school-aged children as they do it as part of their normal work with the 3-5 yo gang.

[PeterPan]

I think it would be a little less suspicious (though I'd still be wary) if they had already done testing and narrowed it down to a behavioral issue like ADHD. But a house visit right off the bat seems strange and a bit much.

 

 

Just to split hairs, ADHD is *neurological* not behavioral.

 

ADHD Study: General Information

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder - LONI: Laboratory of Neuro ...

What is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?

[Slipper]

Sorry, I probably left some detail out of my original post that I should have included. We have already done the testing (which isn't as thorough as I'd have liked). They did an IQ test and ability test. My daughter has a diagnosis of anxiety but struggled with schoolwork this year (she had just started therapy for trauma related issues). Our therapist/psychiatrist felt that the struggle was normal, but wanted to test to rule out learning problems. Currently, she struggles with math and she cannot seem to connect her brain to her 'output'. On spelling tests, she will write the words incorrectly but vocally spell them correctly. I suspect some dyspraxia or dysgraphia issues. (I think those are the words I mean lol).

 

The school psychologist did the testing at a different school than the one she is zoned to attend if she were in public school. She becomes ill, nauseated sometimes to the point of vomiting, whenever she goes into the elementary school building. Our psychiatrist and therapist both wrote notes to the school stating that she had extreme anxiety and was not able to attend school, specifically that school. (If significant issues are found I would consider home bound services).

 

They said the only thing left before our IEP meeting is to do an observation of schoolwork and her at play. The only thing that I found weird was the fact that they weren't interested in that observation coming from our tutor. Our tutor is a public school teacher currently working in our district at her zoned school. She would know what information they needed and has observed her in both situation. And I gave permission for her to talk to them and she did fill out observation sheets. So, I'm not sure why they need to come over. My observation of our district is that they are more ignorant than malicious. I think it's a new situation for them and they aren't sure what to do.

 

Also, we are in a state that does not offer services to homeschoolers. What I will receive at the meeting will be the testing results (and the option to request my own evaluation at public expense) and a list of suggestions (which I hope will be helpful). She's coming out tomorrow (and it will be the only time she comes out as far as I know) which is why I'm starting to get anxious today. I've only spoken to one other homeschooler here and she said that while the school is nice, they have a low opinion of homeschoolers. Honestly, I don't know what they could do to me. Though my daughter struggles, she tested above grade level in everything but math.

[Mergath]

That smacks of a situation I would NOT want to be in. Before agreeing to this, I would call HSLDA. There may be legal ramifications to allowing them to evaluate you and your daughter.

 

 

:001_huh: Paranoid much?

[Mergath]

When my dd started receiving services (ST mostly) through the school district here, they did a home visit to observe her. It was no big deal. I mostly just chatted with the lady while dd did her thing. It was very low key. The school district here isn't overly fond of homeschoolers either (I've posted on my dd's nightmarish IEP meetings, ugh) but they didn't say a thing during the home visit. Try not to worry about it too much. They can pick up a lot from seeing a kid in the environment and with the people that make them most comfortable, and that's probably the reason for the visit. They aren't going to try to "do anything" to you guys. ;)

[PeterPan]

If you're in that deep, your only choice is to keep going. But let me get this straight, it's still just to determine IF they will go ahead and get a full psych eval? Love the run around. But you're in, so you keep going.

[Slipper]

If you're in that deep, your only choice is to keep going. But let me get this straight, it's still just to determine IF they will go ahead and get a full psych eval? Love the run around. But you're in, so you keep going.

 

 

They did an IQ test and educational evaluation. I didn't ask for a full psych eval. This was to determine if she had any type of learning disorder. (I don't need them to determine her anxiety since I know she has that, BUT they had to also look into it since it's a factor. They did this through questionnaires and notes from our psych and therapist).

 

If I want the interpretation from the results and the recommendations, I keep going. I want them.

 

Also, if things become very difficult (and at times this year, I truly doubted my ability to homeschool her), I can request homebound services. (She cannot go back to school. Our psychiatrist suspects that whatever has happened to upset her this badly, happened at school. She will not and possibly cannot talk about it). In order to receive homebound, I need to keep going.

 

At this point, I feel confident about continuing to homeschool her. So, I don't anticipate needing homebound services. I do need the evals. If I feel like they missed something in their eval, I can request a full educational evaluation (and I may do that, still not sure). But, I have to cooperate if I decide to go that route.

[Farrar]

I've never had my own kids observed for an eval like this, but when I worked at a private school, we had outside (private or from the county) observers come a few times. Every time, they literally dropped in, stayed for about half an hour, said nothing, then left. No idea if that will be your experience, but I think it might be similar. Observe, notes, leave.

 

I get why people on this board are nervous and suspicious about home visits from school officials - no one wants a uninformed, anti-homeschooling ps official to judge their homeschooling by the dishes that aren't done or something nutty like that. But really, being able to observe a child in their regular learning environment is very desirable. Testing situations are weird - sometimes kids are better or worse or just different. This is another piece of the puzzle. On another board I'm on, I remember where someone was having this done and the evaluator, before coming, said something like, "This is to determine if you can keep homeschooling." Legally, it wasn't, but the mom opted to not have them come since the evaluator clearly didn't know what she was even supposed to be evaluating. That I get. But typically I think there's no reason to be suspicious if you are the one who has initiated the testing and you understand the scope of things.

[swellmomma]

With all the testing my kids did no school officials (or medical when they did inpatient testing) ever happened at my house, BUT I did have and OT test oldest at home, and much of the therapies they did for SLP and OT were at home so while it would raise my anxiety to have them come observe, just because that's how I am (I hate people being in my "safe zone" which is my home) it certainly wouldn't be the end of the world and if I thought they needed it to help my kids I would suck back my anxiety and open that door kwim.

[Bocky]

Another vote for not weird. When my then 5 yr old dd was evaluated by the school psychologist, they made a home visit and a visit to observe her at her private preschool. The school psychologist stayed for under an hour, and really was there to observe dd in her usual environment. For some disorders like autism (my dd's diagnosis) or ADD it absolutely helps them to observe the child at home.

Good luck!

[weederberries]

:001_huh: Paranoid much?

 

Suspicious and protective, yes. Paranoid, no.

 

If we introduced a stranger to our school room, my kids wouldn't do a thing I asked. They wouldn't get a true evaluation in a "natural" environment, since the environment was changed when they walked in the door. The OP has a tutor who could do the eval and/or video tape a normal situation. I think that's a far better option in this case, especially given the anxiety disorder described.

 

HSLDA is very specific about visits from "officials," whether they be CPS or school officials. Inviting them into your home and/or providing them with any information that isn't required by law, regardless of how innocuous it seems, can (and has) opened the doors for investigations and legal problems that were completely unfounded. Any and all observations, whether related to the initial visit or not, can be used as evidence for investigations if you invite them into your home. If her local district officials are not supportive of her right to HS, she might find her family the subjects of investigations.

 

The OP is already nervous about the visit, unsure why it is necessary and what to expect. That's enough to spur suspicion of the official's purpose. It may all be harmless and standard procedure, but I wouldn't go into it blindly. Contacting legal counsel is a reasonable precaution to understand the implications of these actions.

[GoVanGogh]

Suspicious and protective, yes. Paranoid, no.

 

:iagree: 100%

We started down that road last year, trying to get a suspected LD diagnosed in our child.

Some BTDT wisdom: Keep very good records. Follow your gut feeling. Grow a thick skin. Be ready to open up your school records for examination and criticism. Be careful what you say, as every.thing. is written down - even things you think are casual irrelevant comments. You really don't know where the records will land or who will read them. (I still cringe at some of my comments that went into OT and PT reports and eventually submitted to our insurance company. Things just "sound" very different written in a clincal report than they do when discussed in context to the eval.)

Instead of a LD, we were dealing with an undiagnosed major medical issue that multiple doctors overlooked. The first specialist we saw threatened multiple times to turn us in for "obvious medical negligence." Thankfully, I had kept very good records and was able to prove that my child had been seen by pediatrician every year, plus had seen six other specialists over the year that had missed this.

Every aspect of our lives ended up under a microscope.

Yes, now I am suspicious and highly protective. I am not paranoid. But I would suggest that others are very, very careful about who they open up to and how much they open up.

[Mergath]

 

Suspicious and protective, yes. Paranoid, no.

 

If we introduced a stranger to our school room, my kids wouldn't do a thing I asked. They wouldn't get a true evaluation in a "natural" environment, since the environment was changed when they walked in the door. The OP has a tutor who could do the eval and/or video tape a normal situation. I think that's a far better option in this case, especially given the anxiety disorder described.

 

HSLDA is very specific about visits from "officials," whether they be CPS or school officials. Inviting them into your home and/or providing them with any information that isn't required by law, regardless of how innocuous it seems, can (and has) opened the doors for investigations and legal problems that were completely unfounded. Any and all observations, whether related to the initial visit or not, can be used as evidence for investigations if you invite them into your home. If her local district officials are not supportive of her right to HS, she might find her family the subjects of investigations.

 

The OP is already nervous about the visit, unsure why it is necessary and what to expect. That's enough to spur suspicion of the official's purpose. It may all be harmless and standard procedure, but I wouldn't go into it blindly. Contacting legal counsel is a reasonable precaution to understand the implications of these actions.

 

Sorry, but I think anyone who feels the need to get legal advice before doing a therapy-related home visit is paranoid. And HSLDA is the ultimate source of all paranoia in the hsing world.

[Mom2OandE]

I will say then when ds was in PS he had an IEP. Part of that process included educators, therapists and psychologist observing him over a week long period in his preschool. So maybe it's simply to observe him in his natural learning environment?

 

With that said it would make me a tad nervous as a homeschooler.

[weederberries]

Sorry, but I think anyone who feels the need to get legal advice before doing a therapy-related home visit is paranoid. And HSLDA is the ultimate source of all paranoia in the hsing world.

 

 

I think people who blindly trust institutions and their officials, no matter how well-intentioned, are foolish. I also believe that protecting our right to privacy is of utmost importance, especially in the HS world. Paranoia implies an irrational or imaginary fear. There is plenty of evidence that shows that such visits have caused problems for innocent home schooling families.

 

I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I'd just want to go in with eyes wide open to all the ramifications.

[Berta]

 

I think people who blindly trust institutions and their officials, no matter how well-intentioned, are foolish. I also believe that protecting our right to privacy is of utmost importance, especially in the HS world. Paranoia implies an irrational or imaginary fear. There is plenty of evidence that shows that such visits have caused problems for innocent home schooling families.

 

I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I'd just want to go in with eyes wide open to all the ramifications.

 

 

Exactly! I could not say it any better. No way is any official from a public school stepping foot in my house. Once they are invited into your home they can turn something innocent into a big legal problem. I'd rather be considered paranoid then foolish any day.

[Mergath]

 

I think people who blindly trust institutions and their officials, no matter how well-intentioned, are foolish. I also believe that protecting our right to privacy is of utmost importance, especially in the HS world. Paranoia implies an irrational or imaginary fear. There is plenty of evidence that shows that such visits have caused problems for innocent home schooling families.

 

I didn't say I wouldn't do it. I'd just want to go in with eyes wide open to all the ramifications.

 

The only "evidence" that school officials are all waiting to pounce on homeschooling families and get their kids taken away comes from the HSLDA, and they aren't exactly known for their honesty. They'll say anything, no matter how deceitful, to get people to send them more money. In my opinion, blindly trusting what they say is far more foolish than blindly trusting your kids's occupational therapist.

[Slipper]

Just to update, the teacher came by today and stayed for about an hour. She took several pages of notes. That should be our only visit before our meeting. I was anxious during it, but there was nothing difficult about it (other than my daughter quit speaking about halfway through - she wasn't terrified, she just wasn't comfortable and decided not to speak.)

 

I can understand the concerns mentioned on this thread. The school could have done this differently (by using our tutor for the observation), but they didn't. I don't think they are ill intended, just ignorant in what to do in this situation. It's possible I'm wrong but I hope not.

 

In our situation, the odds are in my favor that a home visit is simply a home visit - nothing more. The house was clean, our curriculum was out, artwork and schoolwork hanging around the house (which is typical). This daughter tests a little below grade level for math, but well above grade level elsewhere. My other daughter typically scores high on standardized tests. What can they do to hurt me? We live in a district that's a failing district (identified by the state educational dept). Our district is also known for sex and alcohol in the bathrooms in middle school and a high drop out rate in high school. They have enough problems on their hands without adding me into the mix. Definitely unnerving, but I needed what it would bring me. Like a PP stated, if it's for my kid, I have to suck up the anxiety and do what I need to do.

 

Still, I'm glad the visit is over - lol.

[weederberries]

I'm glad it went well for you. Hopefully, diagnosis and plans will lead to beneficial services for you. Or at least guidelines and ideas for ways you can help her.

[Berta]

 

The only "evidence" that school officials are all waiting to pounce on homeschooling families and get their kids taken away comes from the HSLDA, and they aren't exactly known for their honesty. They'll say anything, no matter how deceitful, to get people to send them more money. In my opinion, blindly trusting what they say is far more foolish than blindly trusting your kids's occupational therapist.

 

 

Take HSLDA and anything homeschooling out of the equation and I still do not allow anyone that could cause problems to come into my house. This includes the police and officials of any kind. It's not paranoia, I've seen first hand how something innocent turned into a HUGE deal that all could have been avoided if the person was not invited into the house. It's one of those things where until it happens to you, or someone you know, you just can't comprehend it.

[beaners]

Take HSLDA and anything homeschooling out of the equation and I still do not allow anyone that could cause problems to come into my house. This includes the police and officials of any kind. It's not paranoia, I've seen first hand how something innocent turned into a HUGE deal that all could have been avoided if the person was not invited into the house. It's one of those things where until it happens to you, or someone you know, you just can't comprehend it.

 

When I needed to call 911 because my son was unresponsive, I wasn't worried about what might happen if the police came with the ambulance. My son needed help as soon as possible. When my other son needed to have a meeting including the local elementary school's special ed coordinator and finding a time to meet outside of my home (because of my family's schedule) would mean an interruption in services, I was happy to have her stop by. My son's immediate need for help outweighed the unlikely but possible risk that we have opened ourselves up to by letting someone see our loving home that is filled with books and craft supplies and games. Parents might make the decision to allow someone into their home because they feel that is the best decision for their child, instead of out of ignorance.

 

I hope the visit will end up being helpful for the OP!

[Berta]

The OP doesn't have a medical emergency, a matter of life and death is a bit different.

[beaners]

The OP doesn't have a medical emergency, a matter of life and death is a bit different.

 

 

No, but life or death wasn't my actual criteria. An immediate need on the part of my children was.

 

If I were to weigh the possible positive and negative outcomes resulting from having someone in my home, the ability for my son to continue receiving certain necessary therapies that we can't afford out-of-pocket wins out over the very narrow chance that someone would try to take away my children or my right to homeschool.

 

It sounds like the OP weighed those risks too and found the potential benefits were greater than the potential risks. I wasn't saying you were wrong to find the risks greater than the benefits for your family. I was just pointing out that other families haven't made their decisions blindly.

[kwg]

We have had a very good experience with the local PS in receiving services. Hope it is the same with you ! Pretty sure we were the first so I felt kinda famous ( I could just tell that we were "the homeschoolers"..LOL) but we just kept being nice and my son has been helpend immensely this year. Everyone has been kind and helpful.

 

My son went for speech but for our meetings we had all kinds of special ed people there. Lots of paperwork!!!

[Guest erinbeth]

It sounds like it went well. I hope that your daughter gets all the help she needs.

 

As a side note;

I am a survivor of abuse and after years of truely struggling with math I read a study that connected childhood abuse with trouble processing math. So if she is dealing with a trauma, I am sure the two things are related.

[WishboneDawn]

I'm glad it worked out for you. :)

[katilac]

 

If we introduced a stranger to our school room, my kids wouldn't do a thing I asked.

 

 

May I ask why not? :confused1:

 

[swellmomma]

May I ask why not? :confused1:

 

 

 

 

 

Mine wouldn't either (though I still would have teh observing in to see that too). I am not who your asked but for mine the reason is they would use it as the time to show off. Not because they haven't been taught to obey and do their work, but because having someone new watching them work is a distraction for starters, a novelty, and just throws a wrench in the routine. I don't know about weederberries kids but mine require the same routine and lack of distractions to accomplish anything. Whether it is the adhd, or simply their personality or whatever else they can not stay focused on their work if someone else is there. They would want to talk with the person, show off what they did before, talk about their pets, their friends, show their room etc. We went through this with the SLP and OT the first few times they came here to work with ds9, after a couple times of being here my kids were back to their routine because then that person was part of it. SO yeah if an observer wanted to see how my kid learned from me, they would probably assume I either couldn't teach or that the child wasn't learning due to not listening rather than LD, when really that observer just screwed up the routine.

[weederberries]

May I ask why not? :confused1:

 

 

Yes, like swellmomma, my kids would be far too distracted. More than wanting to show everything they've accomplished, which they might do after several visits, my children would be too shy to say anything at all. They would be nervous about not knowing/giving a wrong answer in front of a stranger. So I would ask questions and get blinking stares with side glances to the observer. If I corrected a mistake on an assignment, I would be met with tears of embarrassment. All of them struggle with perfectionism and are even embarrassed to make a mistake with me, though I am always gentle and reassuring. They would not want to open up to a stranger.

 

In fact, just this last week, we had a friend (recent high school graduate) in our house and she joined us in the school room. Even though she was familiar and friendly, they weren't comfortable reciting their memory work, or answering questions aloud. They only opened up after an hour when she offered to help them with an assignment.

 

The only way an observer would get a true sense of my children's behavior would be by watching a video they didn't know was being filmed.

[GoVanGogh]

The only way an observer would get a true sense of my children's behavior would be by watching a video they didn't know was being filmed.

 

Exactly.

I just had to film my DS with a neuromuscular disorder so the neurologist could see his hands "in action." It was terrible and we both ended up near tears. I couldn't easily hide that I was filming (needed close-ups, plus camera to keep moving with DS). DS was so uncomfortable.

Most kids past 5-6 years of age know when they are strugglng with something - either academically or physically - and hate to have attention drawn to the issue. To have an outsider observing them struggling with a task can be very upsetting.

[teeniebeenie6]

:001_huh: Paranoid much?

Attackish much? I wouldn't want a home visit, but I don't like how much control government and laws have over my family! And I have read many stories where people have had child services called on them for unfounded things. I don't like people in my home who are not friends or family, period.

[Mergath]

Attackish much? I wouldn't want a home visit, but I don't like how much control government and laws have over my family! And I have read many stories where people have had child services called on them for unfounded things. I don't like people in my home who are not friends or family, period.

 

 

The plural of anecdote is not data. And in many of those stories, what the parents swear up and down are "unfounded things" turn out to be drugs. Or neglect. Or one of the myriad other kinds of abuse. Just because your cousin's friends' sister-in-law-'s hairdresser's aunt's neighbor had a visit from CPS and swore up and down she wasn't doing anything wrong doesn't mean she was telling the truth.

 

Quit confusing the HSLDA newsletter with actual news, and you'll be much better off.

[swellmomma]

 

The plural of anecdote is not data. And in many of those stories, what the parents swear up and down are "unfounded things" turn out to be drugs. Or neglect. Or one of the myriad other kinds of abuse. Just because your cousin's friends' sister-in-law-'s hairdresser's aunt's neighbor had a visit from CPS and swore up and down she wasn't doing anything wrong doesn't mean she was telling the truth.

 

Quit confusing the HSLDA newsletter with actual news, and you'll be much better off.

 

 

Well in her defense it does happen, it happened to me and was a nightmare. I can assure you that it is not always a case of where there is smoke there is fire. Otherwise I agree with you.

 

I think the difference for most people is that when you are at that point of trying to help your kid, you do whatever is needed to do so. If that means an in home assessment bring it on. If getting my kid help meant I had to walk on hot coals, or swim the english channel I would do that too. Being mindful of who you want involved in your home/life is smart, but when push comes to shove you do what you have to do to help your child. Even if that means throwing open the door, and sweating bullets until the assessment is over. As long as your home is sanitary, no one is dancing nekkid in the livingroom, you don't have a family of illegal immigrants living in the basement etc chances are no one is going to make that sort of call on you when they come in for the assessment. These are not just random strangers knocking on your door, or even CPS on an unfounded call. This was an assessor that the parent took the child to and said "help me help him" that person was already invited into the occasion by the parent at that point. My thoughts are at that point I don't give a carp where the assessment takes place just that it is accurate. We have dealt with assessments in home, in the office and inpatient at the hospital. Who cares where just help me help my kid is what it boils down to. More so imo that corrupt gov't working against families kwim

[teeniebeenie6]

Quit confusing the HSLDA newsletter with actual news, and you'll be much better off.

I do not read the HSLDA newsletter or have anything to do with that organization. You go ahead and trust whoever you want, hope it works out for you. I on the other hand prefer not to. There is no reason to be so darn snobby to anyone who doesn't think like you do!! What made you the supreme expert?

[Laura Corin]

When Hobbes was receiving speech therapy, the assessment and subsequent therapy took place in my home. It was a casual and friendly relationship. I made tea and biscuits for her. I was home educating at the time and (legally) in no contact with the authorities.

 

L

[kiwik]

It probably depends a lot on where you live. Attitudes to home schooling (and everything else vary a lot). The OP had to do her own cost benefit analysis based on her own circumstances. I honestly think the quickest way to rouse suspician is to refuse help when it is offered

[Slipper]

Just to chime in again, I wanted to add that while the schools here do not think highly of homeschoolers, they are not openly hostile. They have some justification to their beliefs. It's not unusual in this area for parents to pull their kids out after an argument with the school and they (the parents) are floundering. They do not own curriculum or seem interested in looking for even the lowest costing ones for major subjects (math and reading). Usually the arguments are over truancy and typically the child is about to fail a grade when the parent pulls them. These kids usually resurface in the system in a few years, but are behind. (Not saying that this is true everywhere, but it is here).

 

I have had prior contact with the school system with my oldest daughter (who is currently in public school). She has a complicated IEP and fantastic services. I worked hard to put those services in place and the system knows that not only will I question their 'policy', I will challenge it if I must. In one extreme situation, I did have to hire an attorney after the behavior of one of their teachers became outrageous. I also flood them with thank you notes and cookies/pound cakes when times are good (so you don't think I'm a complete ogre lol).

 

I know the school won't needlessly challenge me because, frankly, they can't afford it (attorney fees). They won't report me to social services because it will be seen as retaliation for a particularly ugly situation that happened last year with one of their teachers. (A very long story that ended with profuse apologies from the school board). They can't accuse me of any negligence or abuse because none exists and there is nothing to even try to build upon. The house is clean, plenty of food, the girls see doctors frequently and we address situations immediately as they arise.

 

I don't know why they insisted they come to my house. It may be they were curious as to what I do here at home or they may have wanted to jab at me just a small bit because they could. The politics of the situation are that they probably won't do anything more. If the situation were different, I may not have asked for their help or would have refused them coming over. I was uneasy about them coming over, but I need this evaluation and I need it to not cost me anything. (My husband is currently out of work and I don't work so we're living on our savings).

[Mergath]

I do not read the HSLDA newsletter or have anything to do with that organization. You go ahead and trust whoever you want, hope it works out for you. I on the other hand prefer not to. There is no reason to be so darn snobby to anyone who doesn't think like you do!! What made you the supreme expert?

 

 

Encouraging people to refuse the help they need for their children because of your own paranoia about public school employees is repulsive. Sorry. And I've gone through life trusting people until they give me a good reason not to. It's worked out pretty well so far. I've had quite a few "officials" in my home- everyone from public health nurses to school therapists- and never had a peep from CPS.

[GoVanGogh]

The plural of anecdote is not data. And in many of those stories, what the parents swear up and down are "unfounded things" turn out to be drugs. Or neglect. Or one of the myriad other kinds of abuse. Just because your cousin's friends' sister-in-law-'s hairdresser's aunt's neighbor had a visit from CPS and swore up and down she wasn't doing anything wrong doesn't mean she was telling the truth.

 

Quit confusing the HSLDA newsletter with actual news, and you'll be much better off.

I am not a member of HSLDA, nor would I ever be.

 

I did want to comment on the 'neglect' comment above.

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, we were charged with medical negligence last year. Doctor claimed it was obvious that our child had never been to a doctor prior that office visit. Now this child was premature, in hospital for a month at birth, has been seen by half dozen specialists related to premature issues, has had multiple surgeries related to being premature. Child has never missed a well-child visit, wears glasses (obviously prescribed by a doctor) and gets his teeth cleaned twice a year. Child has even had in-home therapy through the state, which required our pediatrician's referral.

 

All that to say - if we could be charged with medical negligence, I pity the family that has decided for whatever reason not to do annual well-child exams or doesn't have the resources to take a child to an eye doctor or dentist.

 

All it takes is one "mandatory reporter" to get a bee in their bonnet to make your life hell.

 

As swellmomma said, I would walk over hot coals to get help for my child. (For that matter, it feels like I have walked on hot coals for this child. If you have ever tried to get a premature baby to nurse, you understand totally. LOL) But I will never, ever again be so naive as I was last fall.

 

Edited to add:

In the end, the doctor who charged us with medical negligence actually made an error in her diagnosis and, instead of correcting it, decided to throw us under the bus. She didn't know that I had 10+ years of record keeping to back us up.

[swellmomma]

All that to say - if we could be charged with medical negligence, I pity the family that has decided for whatever reason not to do annual well-child exams or doesn't have the resources to take a child to an eye doctor or dentist.

 

All it takes is one "mandatory reporter" to get a bee in their bonnet to make your life hell.

 

.

 

 

I agree. When we were investigated they even put in writing no abuse. They tried to claim neglect but our ped squashed that one. We had been going in every 3 months since oldest's premature birth to deal with his issues, they go to the dentist and eye dr annually; had therapies adn assessments from SLP and OT, etc. They tried to jump on that my youngest was no vaxed, until the public health nurse jumped up on my defense because my other kids were and the CDC said not to vax dd at that time due to severe reaction to her 2 month shots, and that the decision was made medically sound not just willy nilly thing (though they should have never tried that route at all, plenty of people do not vax and it is not neglect). There is corrupt reporters out there that pull these stunts. It is a risk I am willing to take to get burned by one of these corrupt few when the chances are higher that the person helping really is wanting to help not be on a power trip etc. There is absolutely cases of neglect out there. THose people are generally not the ones out looking for help and seeking assessments.

[Berta]

Encouraging people to refuse the help they need for their children because of your own paranoia about public school employees is repulsive. Sorry. And I've gone through life trusting people until they give me a good reason not to. It's worked out pretty well so far. I've had quite a few "officials" in my home- everyone from public health nurses to school therapists- and never had a peep from CPS.

 

I didn't see anyone tell the OP to refuse help, just to have the assessment done somewhere other than in the home. There is a difference.