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I can not teach my children together


kewb
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Every once in awhile I get this great idea. Let's watch a short video clip-such as stossel in the classroom-and discuss it together. Somehow I completely forget what this means.

 

"move your feet" "I am not touching you" "yes, you are"

"why are we doing this"

"Ooo, look at what the dog is doing"

"why do we have to do this"

"I'm hungry, whats for lunch?" (please keep in mind that they ate breakfast half an hour earlier)

"He/she's looking at me"

 

and so on and so on and so on.

 

Yet, if I watch with each one separately it goes so differently. But, sometimes, I just want to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Is that too much to ask?

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I didn't last long in my early homeschooling years with teaching my two together. They were competitive and it took too long to get through the material. I'd say they were like 5 and 7 yrs. old. I used separate curriculum for them from that point on. We just didn't have those 'all cuddle on the sofa and listen to a read aloud' moments. They were few and far between.

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mine is having a break down right now. I have two that are finished for the day and one on a break..... I have considered working with each one individually daily. I typically break it up into the olders and the youngers... but today, yeah. Individual sounds nice. About to have a beer. That kind of day!

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We have had all those issues, and I kept pushing through, lol. In ps everyone would have their desk and so they would have automatic "space". Not that it ever kept most people from crossing those boundaries when they could, but the space is there. So, we had a lot of tense times, a lot of stupid punishments when kids would not cooperate, but we kept working on it and they grew. It can be done, maybe you could have a Valuim first?

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They are 15 and a few weeks shy of 13. I am beginning to suspect it will not improve until eldest leaves for college. I don't mind working with them individually but sometimes I wish they could work together. After this mornings reminder of why we don't work together I found myself thinking maybe sending them off to school is a good idea. But then I remembered I would be trading one set of challenges for a different set.

 

Some days I really wish it was all unicorns and cupcakes.

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I'm sorry, but it sounds to me like a discipline issue that should have been handled long before they reached these ages.

 

You are certainly entitled to your opinion It may even be correct. In this case I choose to take the path of least resistance and teach them separately because it saves my sanity and keeps me from behaving like a raving lunatic. It is a button issue for me.

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Every once in awhile I get this great idea. Let's watch a short video clip-such as stossel in the classroom-and discuss it together. Somehow I completely forget what this means.

 

"move your feet" "I am not touching you" "yes, you are"

"why are we doing this"

"Ooo, look at what the dog is doing"

"why do we have to do this"

"I'm hungry, whats for lunch?" (please keep in mind that they ate breakfast half an hour earlier)

"He/she's looking at me"

 

and so on and so on and so on.

 

Yet, if I watch with each one separately it goes so differently. But, sometimes, I just want to kill 2 birds with 1 stone. Is that too much to ask?

 

Yabbut watching a short, probably boring video clip is not the same thing as teaching the children together. :-)

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I'm sorry, but it sounds to me like a discipline issue that should have been handled long before they reached these ages.

 

 

Wanting to learn individually is not a discipline issue. Some kids respond better to one-on-one teaching, a beautiful benefit of homeschooling. The quality of our family lifestyle did not go down because I didn't teach my two together. I should also say that our lifestyle wasn't detrimentally affected by my trying to teach them together. It was the way they were not focused on the content of the lessons that bothered me. My concern for each of them to get the best education I could want for them was the reason I taught them individually. They have done very well. And my youngest had no problem transitioning to a high school, so her not being part of a "group" didn't hinder her at all.

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Yabbut watching a short, probably boring video clip is not the same thing as teaching the children together. :-)

 

 

But we were watching together and then discussing together. There have been other attempts over different subjects. It is always the same. Siblings behaving like siblings. I can't say my sister and I behaved any better when we were growing up. Certainly our relationship improved when she left for college.

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But we were watching together and then discussing together. There have been other attempts over different subjects. It is always the same. Siblings behaving like siblings. I can't say my sister and I behaved any better when we were growing up. Certainly our relationship improved when she left for college.

 

I know, but still, watching a video and discussing it together isn't necessarily the same thing as *teaching them together.* I confess that *I* would have problems sitting and watching a video with my children. :lol:

 

But that's ok. Some people can pull off the whole multi-level, whole-family kind of teaching, some can't. It's all good. (Wait--is that a term that people dislike?? :lol: )

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I have all of mine in separate rooms right now and I go from room to room. It's going to be tricky next year when my youngest is old enough to start school with us. I can't think of another convenient room to put her in. I think I'll need to move everyone around to accommodate her. Things did not go well at all when I tried to have people together.

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Wait....they're 12 and 15???? :huh: By how you were describing their behavior, I thought they were 5 and 7, and I was going to tell you they'll grow out of it. Not sure what to think now. I can't imagine a 12 and 15 year old not being able to sit still and pay attention to a lesson together. If mine had acted like that, there would have been serious consequences at that age. And honestly, I don't know how moms teach multiple kids separately. That's a recipe for burnout. So I guess I have no advice, just sympathy. I hope you can find something that works for you. :grouphug:

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Erm...I guess I was, as I've told my dc many times, the meanest mom in town.

If it made my life more expeditious, or if I thought it was an educational opportunity for them, they did indeed watch a video together, discuss, whatever.

 

I'm trying to think of how I enforced that. :001_unsure:

Okay, I think what I did was in the beginning, I sat the kids in assigned places in the family room, with trouble-makers & button-pushers farther away from each other. In the beginning, I had to sit there with them to make sure they didn't talk during the video, but over time they became very good at working together without my direct moment-by-moment supervision, so I could be working on something else while they watched (if I needed to).

 

 

When my kids were young, I had 5 kids age 7 and under in a 1000 sq. ft. home. It was survival mode for all of us. One of the rules was that they should try not to disturb me during the 30 seconds that I would allow myself to go to the bathroom without them. If they knocked at the door, they knew the routine:

"Mom?"

(No reply)

"Mooom?"

(No reply)

"MOMMMYY!"

 

Finally my reply, "Is anyone unconscious? Dripping blood? Bone sticking out through skin? Is anything on fire? No? Well then it'll have to wait until I come out."

 

I had to be no-nonsense in that same way when it came to watching educational stuff together. They were not allowed to talk. At all. (Or at least not in the beginning). If they did talk, I'd mention that I thought we'd probably missed out on some of the content due to the interruption, and I'd rewind/start the video over. It did not take very many times before they understood the routine. If they made it difficult, it cost them time & boredom, because they knew I'd start it over 10 times if necessary. I also often had them take notes during videos, and graded their notes, or offered the one with the best notes a bribe...uh, I mean, a reward.

 

It didn't take very long for them to get on board, because they knew I'd follow through Every. Single. Time. They knew doggone well that I'd hold out longer than they did, so they didn't push it after the first couple of times.It did get to the point where I can happily have them work through the same video series for an entire semester, without any problem. Sometimes I drop the requirement that they take notes, but since the kids have the routine down, they do just fine.

 

Occasionally, I'll have them watch something and then make up a quiz for their sibs to take. They find this highly entertaining, and some of the quiz questions are reasonable, some of them are obscure, and it definitely keeps them concentrating on the content, so they can both make a miserable quiz for their sibs, and so that they can be sure to pass whatever quiz their sibs come up with.

 

One thing I can say: Like many great things, it does take a LOT of discipline to get the routine set. After that though, it's rainbows and unicorns. Naw, not really! -But it does indeed make everyone's life easier if they can learn to work together successfully. Really, I think of that as a skill that's gonna make their lives much easier in the future, and that's what I'm here for--to help equip them for their future.

 

In a nutshell, you can make it happen if you want to, but you have to bite the bullet and do the training/teaching that gives them that skill. :)

 

ETA: I hope this came off as encouraging. You can do this!

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Occasionally, I'll have them watch something and then make up a quiz for their sibs to take. They find this highly entertaining, and some of the quiz questions are reasonable, some of them are obscure, and it definitely keeps them concentrating on the content, so they can both make a miserable quiz for their sibs, and so that they can be sure to pass whatever quiz their sibs come up with.

 

 

 

IMO, this is a stroke of genius. Well done!

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ETA: I hope this came off as encouraging. You can do this!

 

Yes, it was very encouraging.

 

The reality is I was having a bad morning. They were being themselves and due to my own shortcomings I was not in a place to take a stand and die on that hill.

 

Teaching them separately works. It is just that sometimes I just want to do it once. They are capable of working in groups. They do it all the time successfully with other people. When it is just the two of them the sibling stuff comes out full force. Depending on the day, the position of the moon, what I ate for breakfast I can either roll with it and channel it for good or break down and be downright out of control loony tunes.

 

I have found all of the responses to be helpful in their own ways. Even the ones that don't agree with me.

 

 

And creating a quiz for the sibling, that is brilliant.

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