Remudamom Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 to help my dil who is sick this week while we are visiting without being a pita. She is really down, ds has to work of course and dh and I are here. I told her to please tell me what to do so I could help her but beyond a bit of baby help that's all she asked for. So I loaded the dishwasher, washed some clothes, swept the floor and picked up some toys. I just flat out told her if I was overstepping to please say so, it wouldn't bother me. Took the baby out for a walk when she got fussy. At nap time dh and I went out for some lunch so she could have the house to herself. Went with son after work to grocery store. Tomorrow I'll fold some clothes and straighten up the baby room? Maybe? Too much? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 It sounds lovely. She's lucky to have you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Like an angel from heaven, unless you are rearranging her pantry or tidying her underwear drawer. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Um_2_4 Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 As someone who had my MIL here for 3 months when I had the twins....you are fine, just don't rearrange anything, leave underwear drawers alone, stay out of bathroom cabinets and oh...don't ruin her favorite cutting knife :glare: (trust me on the last one :lol: )! Oh and maybe clean under the couch/beds if you can. If she just had a baby she may not have been able to get down there recently :smilielol5: (That was the one spot that I didn't get to before MIL arrived as I was as huge as a house :tongue_smilie:. I scrubbed all the walls while scooting around on an office chair with wheels, it was quite a site, or so I've been told :001_rolleyes: ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Maybe ask your ds if he minds you doing X, Y, Z. If dil has an issue, you can probably bet she said something to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted May 14, 2013 Author Share Posted May 14, 2013 Maybe ask your ds if he minds you doing X, Y, Z. If dil has an issue, you can probably bet she said something to him. I did and he said go ahead. I wouldn't get into their stuff for anything, I do not go in their room or bathroom. I did clean off a table but just cleaned it and put stuff back on it, except for some groceries I put away. Leaving her desk alone. I'm sticking with kitchen cleaning (not organizing, it's fine anyhow), sweeping, laundry, baby room. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1bassoon Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Could you make a few meals and put them in the freezer? (If she says no, come to my house! I'll put you to work. .. . . ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I think its wonderful. I can't tell people what I need even if I'm crispy. You go MIL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I think you sound like a wonder help. Don't forget the bathrooms; they're easy to clean and she'll just think you take a while in there. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lilaclady Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Wow you are a great mil. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WistfulRidge Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I wish my MIL was like you... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hikin' Mama Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You sound like the perfect mil! I think you are doing a great job of helping without overstepping. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You are a saint! When I had the twins, MIL and FIL came to stay for a couple of days.....they lived all of 15 minutes from us. My second night home from the hospital, dh and I are getting the babies down for the night (cribs in our room), and dd19months is asleep in her room which is next to the guest room. We had made it clear that we needed help with dd 19 mos as dh and I could handle the twins. wait for it....................... MIL walks into our room without knocking, carrying blankets and pillows. Dh asks her nicely what she is doing. She replies that she is going to sleep on the floor at the foot of our bed in case the babies get up during the night. (I don't know how to use smilies on this new format). I didn't say a word......truthfully, I didn't know what to say. Dh somehow convinced her it wasn't necessary for her to do that especially with a bad back and bad knees. He was incredibly nice about it. Mil and FIL went home the next morning. They didn't come see us again till after the first of the year (this happened in October). We later learned that a friend of hers from her church had slept on the floor at the foot of her dil's bed for many nights, and mil apparently felt a need to do the same but with twins. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Mariann, we love your use of smilies. Click on the yellow smilie face above where you are typing, in the blue/grey banner. They will pop up below the typing box. There is an arrow on either end of the choices to give you more choices. Click the yellow face again and they all go away. About your MIL :svengo: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ApronMama Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You are great. Give her compliments about what a great housekeeper she is and if you aren't sure where something goes, leave it out, don't find a "new" spot for it. You sound like my mil, who is a gift! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen in CO Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 It sounds like you're the perfect amount. I visited my brother and sil when their first two boys were born. I ran errands when I saw a need, went shopping with my brother, did dinner, dishes, basic housekeeping, took the baby out for some time, and disappeared during nap times. It must have worked because they asked me back for the other two births. When I went then, I included a lot of taking the older out and making sure he felt special and had a lot of attention. However, My sil's mother came to visit right after me the first time and did things like rearrange the cabinets without being asked and only holding the baby when he was clean and dry. They seriously dreaded her coming back to visit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 My dad actually washed all the windows inside and out when they stayed a week when dd was born. My mom took care of all the meals, older kids, and general pick up after each c-section/birth. All I had to take care of was the baby. Sounds like you're a wonderful mil, even giving her some time alone/when you're gone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kelly1730 Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 Sounds perfect to me! Exactly what I would do to help my dils:) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I think you're doing fine. I second the suggestion to make some freezer meals! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KungFuPanda Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 You should do these things at my house first. Then I will give you a free evaluation form telling you which jobs are ok to do and which ones will make your DIL uncomfortable. You can't be to careful! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I'm available if you should need a second opinion. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 I'm funny about laundry so I don't want anyone doing my laundry. Dh is even forbidden from washing my clothes. He can do his and the kids' but not mine. I would ask her if she minds if you do her laundry. I wouldn't want my mil washing my dirty undies. She may not mind. Also, my mom did laundry while she was staying here and helping and she ruined every single work shirt dh owned. He wears dress shirt (which means expensive) and she ruined them all. If she doesn't mind you doing laundry I would ask her about how she washes/dries different clothes. My mom also ruined the finish on my glass top stove by scrubbing it with a steel wool pad. Sigh. She dumped out an entire 2 gallon jug of organic apple juice because she thought organic meant not pasteurized and I was going to kill the baby. She burnt every piece of meat she cooked. She reorganized everything in my kitchen. So, just don't do any of those things. My mil on the other hand doesn't do anything because she's afraid of overstepping boundries. I think I prefer that route. Because my mom's method induces anxiety and costs me money. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
zoobie Posted May 14, 2013 Share Posted May 14, 2013 My husband is available for adoption... If she likes your cooking, what about putting up some freezer meals for her? If you're bored and twitchy. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.