Mommyfaithe Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Please do not quote....this is a serious post and I may delete it later. I have just lost that last 20 so-ish pounds I needed to lose. I have been working at my weight my entire life....and I mean FOREVER! I am finally at the right weight for me...and I have been working really hard at exercise etc., mostly because I have terrible auto-immune issues...and I am metabolically deranged. Well dh does not like me this thin and he is ( I think very subconsciously) sabotaging my efforts to keep to my diet. To him....food is how he shows love. To him...feeding me is the same as loving me. Even my older kids noticed and have commented. How do I continue to eat right and exercise....and not hurt his feelings??? I mean the guy is really REALLY trying. SHEESH! He made chocolate for me using coconut sugar ( still sugar but he doesn't realize that!) and coconut oil. It was awesome! BUT, it set me off on a bender! Seriously, giving me the cleanest chocolate is like giving a heroin addict methadone and saying it is ok! So, today, I am dealing with cravings I have long since gotten rid of, brain fog ( which frustrates the cr@p out of all of us!) and I just do.not.know how to tell him NO without hurting his feelings! I wish he could see walking with me or doing some fun things together as love.....He wants to go to restaurants where my food is compromised! Seriously, he insisted on taking ds for dinner on his birthday. I ordered a little filet mignon with a baked sweet potatoe and a salad. What could be wrong? I told them I had gluten allergies so no gravy or wheat products on my steak. When I cut into my steak, it was served on a piece of toast!!!! GAH!!!! Dh was nice enough to trade plates with me....his steak did not have bread hidden underneath it! Anyway, I am digressing. WHAT DO I DO???? I do not want to be sick, and I do not want to hurt dh's feelings....and YES, he knows about my AI issues ( not sure he quite gets it though) and he knows how hard I work to keep my body healthy....yet, there he is....pushing the snacks! I do not even want to get into what he feeds my kids....NEVER junk food....always " healthy".....but treatish, dessert-ish stuff.... HELP! Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 So you've explained repeatedly that it makes you sick and he continues? I'd just not eat any of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 It sounds to me like you're just going to have to risk hurting his feelings. Your feelings are as valid as his and yours are medically sound. I'm sorry but he may have to just be hit by a clue by four to really "get" what you're going through. Failing that, you're going to have to have the strongest will power ever. If he makes something, take a bite or two and don't draw his attention to the fact that you're not eating it all. Then you'll have to leave it, even if it's sitting out in front of you. Doesn't sound fair, does it? I don't think I'd like that kind of deception. He needs to get on board and support you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 It sounds to me like you're just going to have to risk hurting his feelings. Your feelings are as valid as his and yours are medically sound. I'm sorry but he may have to just be hit by a clue by four to really "get" what you're going through. Failing that, you're going to have to have the strongest will power ever. If he makes something, take a bite or two and don't draw his attention to the fact that you're not eating it all. Then you'll have to leave it, even if it's sitting out in front of you. Doesn't sound fair, does it? I don't think I'd like that kind of deception. He needs to get on board and support you. This says it much nicer than I did. I wouldn't even eat a bite or two if it sets in motion problems. I have to eat a strict low carb/no sugar (of any kind) diet because a pre diabetes. I was diagnosed in my mid 20's (I'm now 45). I pretty much ignored it because I was thin and felt o.k. most of the time. It caught up with me at about age 43. If I eat sugar/flour/potatoes etc. I feel horrible, sluggish, feet & hand numbness and the list goes on. I can't imagine my loved one pushing food on me that makes me sick. I'll admit though that my dh & I have a relationship where I could tell him to 'get real' about what he was doing and that would be the end of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I would call that uncaring and inconsiderate. I'd confront him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 It sounds like you need to risk hurting his feelings and tell him straight up that he's sabotaging your health with his treats and that you really need his support so you can continue to be healthy. Is gift giving his love language? Maybe give him suggestions for other treats he could surprise you with? Ugh--what a tough spot. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Callie Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 One more thing is I wouldn't call it fattening you up, but I'd considered it ruining your health. Have you explained about amputations or blindness that could come later in life if you have metabolic problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mango Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 My husband does this to me too. He doesn't like to snack alone. Chips, dips, pizza, cookies, soda, sweets.....he wants a friend. I didn't gain weight until we got married and it took me 20 years to tell him no and change my diet so I could start losing weight and get healthy finally! He took it well. He does still buy me snacks, but he asks first. He also is more thoughtful about what kind of snacks he buys me. It's been healthier for him too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 I really feel that he is coming from a good place and a good heart. I have known this man for 30 years and there is not a bad or mean bone in his body. He just does.not get that food can literally kill me.....and HIM for that matter. I KNOW it is a psychological issue of his. He equates food with love. I understand that because I did for years as well....but in my journey to get healthy....I think I resolved those issues and now have a healthier relationship with food....it is there to nourish me and make me healthy...NOT LOVE ME. I think he just doesn't understand...and I am not sure HOW to help him here. I am trying with all of my being to help him get a healthier view and know that I LOVE HIM....not food! And he does not have to feed me to love me.....minds are weird....sigh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Is your husband needing to shed a few pounds? I wonder if it has to do with him feeling a little guilty (and even unable) to lose weight himself, and he doesn't want to be in that position alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Occasionally Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I really feel that ... (I deleted the rest for your privacy) I think THIS is what you need to tell him. All of it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Can you take his sweet face in your hands, look him in the eyeballs, and say, "I love you so much that I have to trust you with a truth that is going to hurt..." Then talk about food = love, and brainstorm what kinds of food he could make for you that would be truly loving. Can he cut up snack veggies for you that are healthy, bring you home a specially picked out avocado, whisk you away to the farmer's market for a Saturday morning together picking out lovely veggies that he then washes and preps for you, bring you home a pound of yummy roasted pecans, (You get the idea; forgive me if my food choices aren't quite on target..ymmv.) That would meet him where he still is, in "food is love" territory. ?? OTOH, if none of the above will fly, how about the two of you fillling a jar with slips of paper with fun ideas for ways he can say "I love you," that don't involve food. When he feels the urge to get you something sweet, he can pick through the jar til he finds something better suited, or he can go to the jar for inspiration. ; ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Can you take his sweet face in your hands, look him in the eyeballs, and say, "I love you so much that I have to trust you with a truth that is going to hurt..." Then talk about food = love, and brainstorm what kinds of food he could make for you that would be truly loving. Can he cut up snack veggies for you that are healthy, bring you home a specially picked out avocado, whisk you away to the farmer's market for a Saturday morning together picking out lovely veggies that he then washes and preps for you, bring you home a pound of yummy roasted pecans, (You get the idea; forgive me if my food choices aren't quite on target..ymmv.) That would meet him where he still is, in "food is love" territory. ?? OTOH, if none of the above will fly, how about the two of you fillling a jar with slips of paper with fun ideas for ways he can say "I love you," that don't involve food. When he feels the urge to get you something sweet, he can pick through the jar til he finds something better suited, or he can go to the jar for inspiration. ; ) THIS might work. Really!!!! I have a really hard time asking for what I want. I know he wants to show me he loves me....he is like that. He always brings me little things, or sends me flowers on Facebook etc, I do not ever want to hurt his heart....but these ideas may work a miracle! thank you. ~~ Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Is your husband needing to shed a few pounds? I wonder if it has to do with him feeling a little guilty (and even unable) to lose weight himself, and he doesn't want to be in that position alone. Oh, yes. And this is where food addiction gets in the way of rational thinking. I get it....I just don't want it to rule our relationship anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 If it were my OWN husband, I would say: I told you it makes me sick! Stop giving me stuff that makes me sick! You know it's hard for me not to eat it, but you keep giving me the food that is bad for me! Stop! (he will get five kinds of chocolate from the store and of course we go through it in a couple of days). BUT...you are probably MUCH nicer to your own husband, so how about: I love you but I can't eat that food because it makes me sick. I love you but I can't eat that--it makes me sick. I love you but no thanks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-bex Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Great ideas! He may just need a substitute way to show his love. And to be told gently. Also, does he UNDERSTAND the mechanics of it all? Has he been educated on healthy eating? I LOVED the book It Starts With Food, by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig. It explains it all in a very accessible way. It may help him "get it." :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 So that's where my Dh goes.... :laugh: My wonderful Italian also shows love through sharing food, and warns me I'm getting too thin (really, I'm not, believe me, I was thinner when he met me). After 50 years of this, I am just rolling with it. Thankfully, I am the cook in the house, so I 'love' him with what I make them, and I make my food and make sure I sit with him and enjoy the meal together. I am also making more approved snack foods for me, and sharing, and they are liking them, so it's getting a bit better. Look, if I didn't HAVE TO, I wouldn't have made these changes, so I can't expect HIM to change FOR ME. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 18, 2013 Author Share Posted March 18, 2013 Great ideas! He may just need a substitute way to show his love. And to be told gently. Also, does he UNDERSTAND the mechanics of it all? Has he been educated on healthy eating? I LOVED the book It Starts With Food, by Dallas and Melissa Hartwig. It explains it all in a very accessible way. It may help him "get it." :) Lol! I have left that book out in all sorts of...here, read me ....sorts of ways....even on his pillow! He thinks the Hartwigs have hatched a plot to make me skinny....lol! Maybe he just likes me plump, but this is not even a vanity issue anymore. Lol! I like the side effect of a nice body, but my diet is definitely more for my health and sanity. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joyofsixreboot Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 I have lost weight and begun exercising the last year. Dh does not like it. We have finally agreed to disagree. I had to repeat, repeat, repeat, it's not about him, love attitude it's about my health and being around for my babies. Warning~the healthier I try to become the worse his own habits become. I think it's a subconcious way to "get to me" or stand in his opinions. I've pointed that out but he doesn't see it. How did our psychology get so wrapped up in food? Hugs~talk to him kindly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-bex Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Lol! I have left that book out in all sorts of...here, read me ....sorts of ways....even on his pillow! He thinks the Hartwigs have hatched a plot to make me skinny....lol! Maybe he just likes me plump, but this is not even a vanity issue anymore. Lol! I like the side effect of a nice body, but my diet is definitely more for my health and sanity. Ok, then, you'll just have to start reading it out loud when he's sleeping, and hope it sinks in subconsciously. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peachskittles Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 My SO is the same exact way. Before my last baby, I was working out, eating right and losing weight. Along would my SO with snacks out of love. What did I do? "Thank you for thinking of me. Next could you pick my up *insert whatever random thing I wanted instead*". Then I would tuck away his gift for later, maybe a very bad day (everyone has those) or my kids needed a treat or someone else's kids needed a treat. Over the course of my last pregnancy, it was all eaten by everyone (including him). I was honest with him once (maybe twice). It was horrible, his choices were borderline crazy (and he was sad) so I started using thank you line instead and it worked out so much better. As for the eating out, have him make the food at home or y'all make the meal together. Steak? Alright, fire up the grill, I'll marinate the steak and we'll cook it together. Meals sometimes have to be a family affair to avoid eating out. I'm sure I'd be bigger if I'd let my SO eat out as much as he wants to. But if yours doesn't enjoy cooking, I guess that could be a problem so then my idea would be a complete fail. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Susan C. Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 My best idea..... "Thanks dear for the lovely chocolate, how thoughtful. Since I can't eat it, which child gets it this time?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Please do not quote....this is a serious post and I may delete it later. I have just lost that last 20 so-ish pounds I needed to lose. I have been working at my weight my entire life....and I mean FOREVER! I am finally at the right weight for me...and I have been working really hard at exercise etc., mostly because I have terrible auto-immune issues...and I am metabolically deranged. Well dh does not like me this thin and he is ( I think very subconsciously) sabotaging my efforts to keep to my diet. To him....food is how he shows love. To him...feeding me is the same as loving me. Even my older kids noticed and have commented. How do I continue to eat right and exercise....and not hurt his feelings??? I mean the guy is really REALLY trying. SHEESH! He made chocolate for me using coconut sugar ( still sugar but he doesn't realize that!) and coconut oil. It was awesome! BUT, it set me off on a bender! Seriously, giving me the cleanest chocolate is like giving a heroin addict methadone and saying it is ok! So, today, I am dealing with cravings I have long since gotten rid of, brain fog ( which frustrates the cr@p out of all of us!) and I just do.not.know how to tell him NO without hurting his feelings! I wish he could see walking with me or doing some fun things together as love.....He wants to go to restaurants where my food is compromised! Seriously, he insisted on taking ds for dinner on his birthday. I ordered a little filet mignon with a baked sweet potatoe and a salad. What could be wrong? I told them I had gluten allergies so no gravy or wheat products on my steak. When I cut into my steak, it was served on a piece of toast!!!! GAH!!!! Dh was nice enough to trade plates with me....his steak did not have bread hidden underneath it! Anyway, I am digressing. WHAT DO I DO???? I do not want to be sick, and I do not want to hurt dh's feelings....and YES, he knows about my AI issues ( not sure he quite gets it though) and he knows how hard I work to keep my body healthy....yet, there he is....pushing the snacks! I do not even want to get into what he feeds my kids....NEVER junk food....always " healthy".....but treatish, dessert-ish stuff.... HELP! Faithe ARE WE MARRIED TO THE SAME MAN? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Georgiana Daniels Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Food has always been very social between my dh and I, and my needing to change eating habits has not gone over well. Truly, I don't think he's going to change so it all has to be on me. Faith, the only thing you can do is be honest about what the food does to your body. Tell him you want to be around for him and the kids for a long, long time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 You need to google "food pushers". I have one great article bookmarked that is titled "Coping with Food Pushers." There are many similar articles on the web, with many explanations of the phenomenon and suggested strategies for dealing with food pushers. They are real and they will sabotage your progress - so good of you, OP, to recognize what is going on. Food = love is a very unhealthy dynamic to live with and, worse, it is easily passed on to the next generation if not curtailed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caroljenn Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 This happened to my sister. She ended up morbidly obese and dying from a two week battle with cancer that her body could not fight at all. Please stand firm on this. Make sure you talk to hubby and stay firm about your eating habits. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OrganicAnn Posted March 18, 2013 Share Posted March 18, 2013 Can you get him to substitute gifts of food to gifts of jewelry? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
6packofun Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 The next time you go to the doctor, ask the dr. to write your DH a prescription...for giving you HEALTHY food treats and refraining from dangerous ones! It should not take any adult this long to understand that what he's doing is not helpful. I believe in lovingly explaining up to a point. So that's my nice suggestion and if he doesn't "get it" after that, I'd refuse any offering and ask why he does not believe me (or care enough) when I'm telling him what *I* need him to do! A love language is not a love language if it only makes the GIVER feel good about him or herself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I totally understand in that my dh is a food love language person as well. I'm amazed I haven't gained more weight with our "treat nights" with our movies, etc. I feel for both of you. It's a hard situation. Clearly he loves you so I would not be harsh with him at all. I definitely wouldn't want to risk offending him or really hurting his feelings. I think if it's something you can bend on, like it's something fatty or high-calorie that he made or bought just for you and you're afraid you'll gain weight... in that case I would eat it and be grateful. My advice is that you give a little and do some extra exercising to make up for it. :tongue_smilie: If it's an issue of having an allergic reaction or getting sick, that's different, and I'm sure it's forgetfulness or misunderstanding on his part if he offers you those foods. Clearly he doesn't want you to get sick. And it seems that the steak at the restaurant issue wasn't his fault at all. I'm sure you can go to a restaurant and order something without gluten, right? I'm sure it's a pain, but I wouldn't expect him to never take his family out for dinner again. If the restaurant served your steak on toast when you specifically asked for no gluten or wheat products, that was their fault and I would have asked for a new plate that was what you requested. Definitely explain to your dh whatever issues you have that make you sick so he clearly understands which foods will make you sick in case he isn't clear on that. Other than that, you could hint a bit, but my advice is to be careful to not hurt his feelings, offend him, or make him feel rejected. Getting into a fight or creating hard feelings between you and your spouse is a lot worse and more miserable, IMHO, than a case of brain fog, a couple extra pounds, or even a bout of diarrhea. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seasider Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Sorry, CatholicMom, but I disagree. Knowingly (and repeatedly) giving your spouse something that causes brain fog, undesired weight gain, and bouts of diarrhea is NOT love. FWIW, food pushers behave this way because they have issues if their own. OP, maybe what you really need to do is spend some time with your dh and try to root out why he behaves this way. Perhaps if you can come to some conclusions together - with no anger - then you will be able to pursue a more healthy lifestyle, together. I understand the potential to hurt feelings - I have had to deal with this because I have a food pusher in my life - but once the pusher started targeting my kids, well, I decided to set a firm boundary. We still have issues with food being pushed, but my nuclear family has all learned to say no with the best manners and happy smiles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ondreeuh Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Dh thought he would be romantic and give me a GC for an hour at a hot tub place (for the two of us). I have heat intolerance and had to turn him down. An hour of fun (for him!) is not worth hives. Dh loves to make "dutch babies" for breakfast. I don't eat them because they knock me out (pure carbs & sugar). He understands and doesn't hold it against me. He would feel like a creep if he valued his ego over my health. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 I never heard "Food Pusher" before. It is a very accurate description for what I have to deal with on a regular basis... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Can you get him to substitute gifts of food to gifts of jewelry? I wish! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Sorry, CatholicMom, but I disagree. Knowingly (and repeatedly) giving your spouse something that causes brain fog, undesired weight gain, and bouts of diarrhea is NOT love. Remember that I am assuming that he doesn't knowingly do this. I'm assuming he doesn't fully understand her digestion issues or forgets. I'm also not saying that she should just get sick in order to eat what he gives her. But I'm saying push comes to shove, and a fight or hard feelings would be even worse than that, IMO. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CatholicMom Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Also, I think some husbands can handle the truth without hurt feelings more than others. Since the OP asked this, I'm kinda assuming her husband's feelings will be hurt fairly easily if she is blunt. My dh is totally different and I could say, "Oh man! Why'd you get me that ______ when you know I'll want to eat it?! Remember that I get sick when I ate food with ______ in it?" in a semi-joking way. And he would say, "Ohhhhh brother, I forgot." I'd say, "It looks really good and I feel bad but I really don't want to get sick." And he would say, "Of course, Don't worry about it." No big. But everyone's dynamic is different. Another idea is that you could hint about foods that you DO want and can eat so he might get a "lightbulb" to get you said food and think it was his bright idea. :laugh: I do this with my dh sometimes because I know he's so receptive to what food I want. So when I'm pregnant and I literally want some artichokes and I mention it, by golly, he will go get me some artichokes and be happy when I receive them gladly. Maybe you just need to play it more. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swimmermom3 Posted March 19, 2013 Share Posted March 19, 2013 Faithe, I don't really have any suggestions, but good for you for doing such a good job on taking care of your health. :grouphug: Would you mind pm'ing me since I can't pm you? I have a couple of questions for you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Faithe, I don't really have any suggestions, but good for you for doing such a good job on taking care of your health. :grouphug: Would you mind pm'ing me since I can't pm you? I have a couple of questions for you. Sure! And thanks! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted March 19, 2013 Author Share Posted March 19, 2013 Also, I think some husbands can handle the truth without hurt feelings more than others. Since the OP asked this, I'm kinda assuming her husband's feelings will be hurt fairly easily if she is blunt. My dh is totally different and I could say, "Oh man! Why'd you get me that ______ when you know I'll want to eat it?! Remember that I get sick when I ate food with ______ in it?" in a semi-joking way. And he would say, "Ohhhhh brother, I forgot." I'd say, "It looks really good and I feel bad but I really don't want to get sick." And he would say, "Of course, Don't worry about it." No big. But everyone's dynamic is different. Another idea is that you could hint about foods that you DO want and can eat so he might get a "lightbulb" to get you said food and think it was his bright idea. :laugh: I do this with my dh sometimes because I know he's so receptive to what food I want. So when I'm pregnant and I literally want some artichokes and I mention it, by golly, he will go get me some artichokes and be happy when I receive them gladly. Maybe you just need to play it more. :) Lol! Play it! Now, that might work! I need to start craving Brussels sprouts and spinach! I like the jewelry idea....a lot....but don't think that will fly....lol. I am just going to have to pull up my big girl panties and be truthful. I have gotten this far....115 lbs! And have done it without much support ....my family loves to eat.....but, honestly, my example is paying off. My kids are definitely aware to eat better foods and my teens have been going to the gym with me....working out and feeling so much better. My kids are not overweight at all, as a matter of fact ds actually gained some much needed weight...and is building some lovely muscle back. Dh has begun to use our treadmill and weight machine and is now juicing! So, there is some real good going on here! I think I may just put together a little list for myself to ask dh to buy when he grocery shops...special fruit, expensive piece of meat or fish that only I can have. The old if I can't beat him, join him thing. I think I just needed a vent....and I do feel better knowing there is such a thing as a food pusher. His grandmother was definitely one....and he has that tendency too....but it is totally subconscious, and NOT a hill to die on, or even battle against except in a very non-chalant way. He means well..he just wants eveRyone happy, and food is something he can bring. He is definitely a gift giver, but those gifts are always, always, always practical in his mind.... Anyway, thanks for letting me vent this out and think clearly about this issue.... Now, back to my regularly scheduled school planning! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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