Those with kids in college - how many times do they come home per year?

[Vida Winter]

I know this will vary widely but I wanted to get a sense of what you are going through. I dread not seeing my dd for long stretches of time.

[twinmami01]

At first he was coming home 1 or 2x a month (it's a 4 hr drive). Now that he is working full time, as well as a full time student, he averages about 4-5 times a year.

[MicheleinMN]

Dd's freshman year, she came home at midterm break (mid October), at Thanksgiving, at Christmas (for 5 weeks), Spring Break, and end of year was the beginning of May. (And she also came home one other random weekend, as she caught a ride up with friends.)

 

This year, her sophomore year, she isn't coming home for Spring Break, and she may not be home for the summer either. :( (We do text every day though.)

 

The school is about 3.5 hours away.

[Gwen in VA]

School 3 hours away -- kids came home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, and spring break. Coming home for fall break depended on the year. They had internships every summer so they lived away, but they were home for a week or so in early June and then again in late August. (~5 weeks total at home)

 

School 10 hours away -- kid comes home for Thansgiving, Christmas, and spring break. Will NOT come home at all this summer. (Summer job is in the opposite direction from our house.....)

 

If someone had told me when we dropped off my oldest at orientation that she would never again live at home for more than a few weeks, I couldn't have imagined it, but it's all been good.

[Miss Marple]

Prior to this semester he would come home at least once a month and often twice a month. This semester he came home once before this week (spring break). It was a long stretch. However, we went to see him for his birthday which fell about halfway between the first time he came home and spring break.

[JennW in SoCal]

Between facebook, texts and Skype, you get to stay in touch much better than in my college days when we only had weekly phone calls and occasional letters. So don't despair too much! I get the sense, too, that most of us homeschool moms have such close relationships with our kids that they enjoy keeping in touch with us almost as much as we enjoy hearing from them. And the empty nest is really rather nice, though having them home is also lovely.

 

My kids have wound up far, far away. As in 3 time zones away. As in 6 hours of travel time with changing planes at a hub. As in cha-ching! My oldest we only have seen three times a year -- 2 weeks at Christmas, a week for spring break and a week for summer. If he stays back East to work after graduation, I'm not sure we'll get to see him as much. My youngest, since leaving for college last fall, was home for 4 weeks at Christmas, is now home for a 2 week spring break, and will be here a couple of times over the summer, with the longest stretch being about 6 weeks. He went to a friend's house for Thanksgiving.

[dirty ethel rackham]

Ds19 comes home at fall break (4-day weekend in October), Thanksgiving break (Wed thru Sunday), Christmas Break (3+ weeks), winter break (4 day weekend in February, Spring Break (10 days) and for a few weeks early summer and late summer since he has a summer research position. We also can visit him - he is only 3 hours away.

 

Unfortunately, we don't skype much and only text when he needs something:).

[Hockey Mom]

Freshman year: 3 times. She was enjoying her freedom. :)

 

Sophomore year: October, November, December, February, April, May, June (was a little homesick last year)

 

Junior year (this year): She visited twice before we moved. We're 3 hours away now, and she hasn't made the trip up here yet.

 

Social media, emailing, texting, and Skype is how we stay in touch.

[Musicmom]

We've found it changes over time as they grow and become more independent.

 

Ds is 14 hours away.

 

Freshman year: We stayed nearby during orientation week (Skyped every day!) Then we drove out for parents weekend in October. He came home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring break, and all of summer (worked part-time, so we still did some family vacations.)

 

Sophomore year: He came home for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring break, and all of summer (worked full-time the entire summer at internship, though, so no family vacations.)

 

This year (junior year): He came home for Thanksgiving and part of Christmas break (flew off to a convention for a week between Christmas and New Year's), and is not coming home for Spring break (traveling with friends instead.) He will come home in May for about 3 weeks, then will be gone for most of the summer. :(

 

We skyped quite a bit the first year, less the second year, and this year very infrequently. We've done a few phone calls (easier for him to find time and a good location for) and dd chats with him via gmail or facebook from time to time, but he's so busy that mostly we only hear from him when he needs something, which is also infrequent.

[creekland]

Oldest - 12 hours away - came home freshman year for Thanksgiving, Christmas, Spring Break, and summer. Sophomore year it was just Christmas and Spring Break. This year it was just for a week out of Christmas break. He has left the nest, likes the area where he is at more than here, and has a fiancee so spends more time with her and her family than coming here.

 

Middle - 6 hours away - we went up there for Thanksgiving (picked him up and visited relatives), he came here for Christmas, and we're leaving today to take him back from Spring Break. I'm encouraging him to look around where he goes to school for better summer opportunities. If he finds something, we'll visit him a bit, but he won't be here.

 

I DO miss my boys, but as mentioned upthread, there are positives too. I love seeing them find their niche in this world in the same way that hubby and I found ours. It is definitely a different stage in life and it takes some time to get used to.

 

Oldest likes being "free" and seldom contacts us now. Middle likes both home and here and calls at least once per week sharing his life. He also sometimes e-mails in between calls.

[Laura Corin]

FWIW, I used to come home for summer, Christmas and Easter breaks. I rarely called my mother between. I really regret that, and I am already grieving for Calvin's likely departure in eighteen months, but I am determined to let my bird fly.

 

Laura

[Brenda in MA]

My college student came home for Thanksgiving, Christmas Break, and then for the summer. He chose to visit his grandma (which is in the opposite direction from us) during spring break. This was during his first 2 years when he worked locally in the summer.

 

Last year, he had a coop that was about 1.5 hours from here, so we saw him every other weekend or so during that time. We do stay in touch with regular phone calls.

 

Brenda

[Jane in NC]

My son attends college in another region of the country than where we live.

 

Freshman year: We traveled to him for Thanksgiving. Home for four weeks at Christmas, two weeks at spring break. He spent the summer with his adopted grandparents in a place where he also had a museum internship. We did see him over the course of the summer though.

 

Sophomore year: Four weeks at Christmas, two weeks spring break, first four weeks of summer. He spent most of the summer in Britain at an archaeological field school.

 

Junior year: Four weeks at Christmas. He is spending his spring break in Britain where again he will probably be for most of the summer. We are trying to wrangle him home for a month beforehand.

 

My son's college has a two day fall break. It is too brief to fly home; further, he is usually exhausted and needs to sleep. It seems that some form of the crud makes its way around the dorms about four or five weeks into term. Fall break offers a chance to recuperate.

 

Thanksgiving is so dicey for flying. Last year a group of students staying in his dorm prepared a meal using the dorm kitchen. The year before the father of one of my son's friends traveled to the school to make Thanksgiving dinner for his son and any of his friends on campus. I thought that was a lovely gesture.

 

Skype is a college parent's best friend.

[cathmom]

Once or twice a year.

[Nicole M]

Similar experience to Jane's. Son is in the midwest, we are in the PNW.

 

First year, home for five weeks between Thanksgiving and New Year's; we followed him around Colorado during spring break (my mum lives there; he was on a choir tour); home again in June.

 

Second year, home again for the long Thanksgiving to New Year's stretch, then not home again until June, since his choir was in Europe that spring break. That was hard, those six months.

 

This year, home only for two weeks at Christmas, because his study abroad program in Thailand was a semester long, and his school is on trimesters. We will see him for two days over spring break, then probably not again until summer. Although, it's likely that he will get an internship either in Chicago or Washington DC.

 

We talk on the phone once a week-ish. I send a care package at about midterm. I get an occasional text.

 

The only time I panic is when he is supposed to be on the way home but is somehow delayed. I'm fine with him leaving and being away, but don't even *think* about getting in the way of his coming home!!!

[Starr]

First answer - not enough.

 

Second answer - If you want to see her have her stay in a reasonable driving distance. Dd is too far away for a comfortable turn around drive. We do see her every month or so when dh travels for work but only for a few hours. If I had to do it all over again I'd say in a 3ish hour drive.

 

She does come home for school breaks, so far.

 

:grouphug:

[AngieW in Texas]

Dd is going to school 4 hours away. She comes home or we go up to visit her 1x/month. The exception will be this month because she has been home all week for spring break and her birthday is at the end of the month, so she'll be coming home again in two weeks (or I'll go up to visit her).

 

Dd has a car and she gets out of class at 10am on Thursday mornings and doesn't have to go back again until Sunday afternoon, so she mostly drives home to see us. If we go up to visit, it is just a day trip or one night.

[Kareni]

My daughter attends a college that is on the opposite coast.

 

Freshman year -- she returned for several weeks for the winter holidays and then again for the summer.

 

Sophomore year -- she returned for several weeks for the winter holidays. She had an abbreviated summer stay before leaving July 1 for a semester abroad.

 

Junior year -- she returned from her semester abroad in mid-December and stayed for almost a month.

 

The summer after junior year, she worked on campus so she did not return home until about December 20 (of senior year) for about two and a half weeks. We'll see her next at graduation in mid-May.

 

Her current plan, after graduating, is to teach English in Korea. If that comes to pass, we have no clue as to when we'll see her next!

 

We do stay in touch via phone calls, text messages, email, and the occasional Skype session. We're still quite close.

 

Regards,

Kareni

[TranquilMind]

All these replies make me sad!

 

My babies are growing up and will soon be leaving for good!

 

Ack!

[Karen in CO]

My son's school was on a 3 semester a year plan with a month in between semesters. He came home for 2 to 3 weeks at a time 2 to 3 times a year except for the summer he interned. This summer we'll vacation together for 10 days after his graduation, but I don't know about any other plants he has. He's working full-time and trying hard to pay his bills and student loan payments without me; I don't see how he'll be able to come home again until Christmas.

[Vida Winter]

I'm trying to prepare myself - she'll be 5 hrs away :(

[AK_Mom4]

Both my college kids are thousands of miles away at school. Airline ticket prices are insane here. :scared:

 

DS21 comes home for 1 week at Thanksgiving, 2 weeks at Christmas, 1 week for Spring Break, and (so far) 3 weeks in the summer. Since he buys his own tickets, he gets to come home fairly often. That longest stretch is from the end of summer break to Thanksgiving and it feels like a year!

 

DD19 came home for Christmas (4 weeks) and will get the summer off (3 months). She went to her Grandma's for Thanksgiving because it was closer and sunnier. This year, she is coming home for spring break starting Friday because it happens to coincide with her brother's and we had mileage to buy the ticket.

[JFSinIL]

Freshman year we visited ds at Family Weekend, and he came home between trimesters, Thanksgiving, Christmas, spring/Easter...and summer.

Sophomore year we did not viist, he came home breaks, Christmas and spring/Easter, and summer/

Junior year....he came hom Christmas as I said as long as we paid tuition he had to come home at least part of the break! Hubby and I drove out (he is three hours away with no car) to take him and New Girl friend (first girl friend!) to lunch last month. He might come home next month or so for a couple days or might not. He has an on-campus paid summer research internship and a summer sublet so will not come home for summer. But he is 21 now and it is time.

[J-rap]

My daughter in Central America comes home between every trimester for 2 weeks (and then we usually visit her sometime during the year for 2 weeks). My daughter in England came home at Christmas for 2 weeks, and will be coming home next in mid-June. My daughter who is only 2.5 hours away comes home maybe once/month, but we drive in to see her at least once/month, sometimes twice. (Not JUST to see her, but that happens to be the major metropolitan area closest to us and we are often driving in for various events.)

[PaulainTx]

Ours comes home for Christmas break. Last year he came home for the summer, but it looks like he will be working and taking at least one class this summer, so we will go visit him. He is at a college 16 hours away. We talk at least once a week.

 

Paula