If your kids stay up late...

[I.Dup.]

We put our kids to bed very early. It's one of the main ways we stay sane. However, the downside to that is that they are always up before 7am. I've always been intrigued by people who let their kids be night owls but I can't imagine how this looks.

 

Dh and I like watching shows together in the evening that aren't always kid friendly (things like Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, etc). It's a time we really enjoy. We don't have a basement or a place to send the kids, so when they are awake we are almost always in the same room. They seem to get their second wind after dinner, which means they run around screaming all evening. This is why we started putting them to bed early (around 7pm) and they are usually out within about 5 minutes.

 

How does it look if you allow your children to stay up late, especially if you have younger kids? How do you keep them relatively calm and controlled so they aren't running around wildly or bothering you all evening?

[AndyJoy]

We have a night owl here. DH and I are both night owls too. We could not get him to sleep before 11:00 pm or midnight for most of his first year! Then, for one blessed month he slept 7:00 pm to 7:00 am. That ended quickly. He now goes to bed at a slightly more reasonable little kid time--about 8:30 or 9:00 pm. He will stay in bed, but he's usually awake talking to his stuffed animals and singing until 10:00 or even 11:00 pm, though! We wouldn't get any alone time otherwise! He's usually awake right at 7:00 am every day, though sometimes he tortures me with 6:00. He still takes a nap because he definitely needs it. When we skip it he is cranky and weepy and doesn't sleep any longer at night. He doesn't get crazy wild or wound up in the evenings. If he did, I'd be putting him to bed too! After dinner, we have him do calmer activities like puzzles, play "castle" with dad, read books, and take a bath or shower. We very rarely let him watch DVDs after dinner because it's hard for him to wind down for bed after watching shows.

[Joker]

Our girls go to their rooms at 9pm and read or write/draw until 10pm. When they were younger they would go to their rooms at 7/8pm and read or write/draw/color until whatever their bedtime was. Sometimes we will let them play quietly in their rooms until bedtime and that's worked as well. I'm not sure how young your kids are, but mine have been doing this since about 6 or 7 years old and before that they were usually asleep by 8pm.

[Joshin]

I don't "let" my kids stay up late, but they do anyway. We never had a bedtime as early as yours. 9pm has been ours since oldest DS was about 5. We are far enough north that in the summer the sun is still above the horizon until almost 10 pm, so maybe that's why we err on a later bed time. Younger DS is a natural night owl and needs minimal sleep. So our rule is simple. 9 pm you are in your room and in bed. You can't get up unless you need the bathroom, and we would discipline if they tried to use potty breaks as an excuse to get out of bed, but they never have. You can read in bed, write in bed, play with quiet toys in bed, but you are in bed. Evenings are adult time but I won't force anyone to sleep.

 

Older DS may stay up until 10 or so reading. Younger DS often stays up until midnight or later. Older DS wakes up naturally at around 7:30 -8:00 am, while younger DS wakes up naturally before 8 and often before 7. Yep, six hours to eight hours is how much he sleeps naturally. He's well rested and quit napping before he was two. That was stressful! And just in case anyone asks, the pediatrician knows about his sleep habits and he has done a sleep study once. No problems, he just naturally needs less sleep. So I have night owls and early birds, and confinement to the rooms between certain hours is the only way to keep our sanity.

[Cinder]

I have two teens and an 8yo. My 8yo generally goes to bed around 9:30-10:00 and is up again around 7:30. She doesn't sleep much; she's always been like that. If she goes to bed earlier she gets bored and comes out of her room several times to let us know that she's not tired and can't fall asleep. :glare: So later works better. Unfortunately that means if we want to watch a "grown-up" show we have to do it after 10. Like last night when she got to bed around 10:30 and the rest of us stayed up until 1 to watch a movie. We only have Netflix so we're not tied to a tv schedule. If we did I'd probably record the shows and watch them when we could.

[Mommyof4ks]

My kids are night owls, but they get up before 7 too. Some people just need more sleep, and apparently I got the kids who don't need much lol.

[Forget-Me-Not]

We try to have everyone in their rooms by 8:30/9:00 p.m. This usually means that little DD is in our bed (where she falls asleep, and DH transfers her later) and older DD and DS will read together in one of their bedrooms for 30-60 minutes before we shoo them off to their own beds. My kids are usually up between 7:30-8:00.

[jenangelcat]

Mine will be staying up tonight, either playing with toys are watching netflix on the computers.

[TranquilMind]

We put our kids to bed very early. It's one of the main ways we stay sane. However, the downside to that is that they are always up before 7am. I've always been intrigued by people who let their kids be night owls but I can't imagine how this looks.

 

Dh and I like watching shows together in the evening that aren't always kid friendly (things like Walking Dead, Sons of Anarchy, etc). It's a time we really enjoy. We don't have a basement or a place to send the kids, so when they are awake we are almost always in the same room. They seem to get their second wind after dinner, which means they run around screaming all evening. This is why we started putting them to bed early (around 7pm) and they are usually out within about 5 minutes.

 

How does it look if you allow your children to stay up late, especially if you have younger kids? How do you keep them relatively calm and controlled so they aren't running around wildly or bothering you all evening?

 

Well, if you let them stay up and you do things with them instead of watching kid-inappropriate shows. Especially things that make them tired! You could also record the shows and watch them later.

 

I just would have flipped if my kids had been up before 7 a.m. We put our kids to bed at 8-9 p.m. when they were little.

[Hypatia.]

My kids go to bed around 7 or so also. DS2 (2.5) usually falls asleep quickly, DS1 (8) stays up for a couple hours and reads. DD1 (6) likes to read books and draw on the Magnadoodle, however she and 4 year old DD2 share a room and sometimes it can get pretty rowdy in there. If it gets loud enough where they are keeping DS2 up then I have DD1 go and draw/read/sleep in our bed and we move her into her bed when we go to sleep.

 

My older two know they don't need to go to sleep yet, but it's quiet time so they need to find something to do in their rooms. I go to bed fairly early and DH and I like having a little bit of (quieter) time together before I crash out. Sometimes DS1 will come down and read his book on the couch after DS2 (his roommate) falls asleep and on Sunday nights DS1 stays up late with me to watch Mythbusters. They are all usually up by 7 but I can deal with that easier than I can deal with me not getting any quiet downtime before I go to sleep. Big introvert here.

[KRG]

My 2 year old is in bed and asleep(most nights) by 7 pm or I would be a raving lunatic. My oldest is up as long as he wants now. When he was a baby he was on about the same schedule--to bed around 7:30 but he woke up around 5. Until we started homeschooling he had to be in bed by 9. He is a night owl and always stayed awake until 11 or 12 but was always able to get up and go to school.

[regentrude]

We never enforced a bedtime once the kids were maybe 5 or 6. They had to be in their rooms as of 8pm, because *I* was done with reading bedtime stories etc and needed a break. The rule was that they could do quiet things that would not disturb anybody who was trying to sleep. Worked very well. (Now they are teens and up much later than I myself am).

[Impish]

I would go stark. raving. mad. if my kids were up late.

Littles bedtime routine starts around 730, in bed by 8.

Diva's in her room at 9...lights out around 10.

[I.Dup.]

So it sounds like most of you require the kids to play in their rooms if they stay up later? Also, it seems that it doesn't make much difference on how early they wake up?

 

My kids DO seem to need a lot of sleep, I am thankful for that!!!! We just discovered that dd's severe behavioral problems were due to staying up "late"...she was going to bed around 9pm but after many weeks of her being so terrible during the day dh thought about putting her to bed an hour earlier. She's like a different kid- and she's 10! Still going to bed at 8pm.

[I.Dup.]

 

Well, if you let them stay up and you do things with them instead of watching kid-inappropriate shows. Especially things that make them tired! You could also record the shows and watch them later.

 

 

Right, of course. All of the shows we watch are on Netflix or recorded anyway. The issue is that dh and I are apart for most of the day, and the kids and I are together all day long, so spending all evening with them just isn't very appealing. I'm sorry if that sounds horrible, just trying to figure out how this works!

[Elinor Everywhere]

 

 

Right, of course. All of the shows we watch are on Netflix or recorded anyway. The issue is that dh and I are apart for most of the day, and the kids and I are together all day long, so spending all evening with them just isn't very appealing. I'm sorry if that sounds horrible, just trying to figure out how this works!

 

 

I understand what you are saying. My dh and I have always valued our alone time. He travels a lot, too, so when he's home we maximize time as a family.

 

My kids always went to bed by 8 when they were young, and as they got older that just segued into them reading in bed until they are sleepy. Now they are 15, and stay up until around 9 on school nights. They are also old enough to watch some shows/movies that they couldn't see just a few years ago. They read in bed a while, but both like to be asleep by 10. They get up at 5:30-6:00 on school days, and they need their sleep.

 

On getting up early, both of mine were up with the sun (pre-puberty). But they never woke me up...they just played quietly with toys, read a book, or got themselves breakfast. I value my sleep....a lot!! :lol:

[Ottakee]

Are the kids old enough to be out in the main part of the house alone while you and dh are in your room? Ours are teens so that works well for us. Often they stay up later that we do but it works because they are old enough to stay out of trouble.

[I.Dup.]

Are the kids old enough to be out in the main part of the house alone while you and dh are in your room? Ours are teens so that works well for us. Often they stay up later that we do but it works because they are old enough to stay out of trouble.

 

 

The older ones are but not the younger ones. The only draw for me wanting them to stay up later is that they'll sleep in later, but that doesn't seem to be the case?

[Χά�ων]

Wait, you mean your kids actually sleep before age 6? I am full of envy. DS didn't sleep. He still struggle with sleep and doesn't have a bed time but when the sun goes down he engages in quiet, calm activities and has for as long as I can remember. As long as I can sleep I am not bothered 364 days a year. Christmas Eve is a pain...

[Pamela H in Texas]

Your post is exactly why that I, for 15 years (or so), have counseled parents to put their kids to bed early. LOTS of people see what you see, kids getting another wind by 7:30 or 8pm. Now, it may be problematic for parents putting their kids to bed at 8 or 9pm. It wouldn't be problematic for people allowing their kids to stay up later, when that "wind" has wound down.

 

*I* have never seen a child going to bed later therefore sleeping later; BUT that is probably because my little kids have always been early risers, possibly because of an early bedtime. So it stands to reason that if they go to bed late, they may also still rise early. I'd probably have to mess with their sleep cycle over two weeks or so to see if they could go to bed late and wake up early. And I'd have to live with the consequences in the inbetween.

 

*I* would never do that. I honestly believe in early to bed and early to rise. I also have school-attending children in my home (who must be at school at 7am sharp). Additionally, I *want* my time in the evening. My children are rarely up past 7pm. I could see that pushing up to 8 sometime, at least for some kids. About 6th grade, we'll work with them on self-regulating.

 

ETA: The clock (a tot-clock) turns yellow at 6:30. People are to stay in bed (other than potty needs) until the clock turns yellow. They are to be quiet, not wake siblings, not talk to siblings, to self-entertain. Past the first 3 weeks, we have been very strict about "the blue clock" rules.

[I.Dup.]

Wait, you mean your kids actually sleep before age 6? I am full of envy. DS didn't sleep. He still struggle with sleep and doesn't have a bed time but when the sun goes down he engages in quiet, calm activities and has for as long as I can remember. As long as I can sleep I am not bothered 364 days a year. Christmas Eve is a pain...

 

 

Oh no, I'm not talking about Christmas Eve! All bets are off on Christmas Eve! I just mean in general.

[Χά�ων]

*I* have never seen a child going to bed later therefore sleeping later; BUT that is probably because my little kids have always been early risers, possibly because of an early bedtime. So it stands to reason that if they go to bed late, they may also still rise early. I'd probably have to mess with their sleep cycle over two weeks or so to see if they could go to bed late and wake up early. And I'd have to live with the consequences in the inbetween.

 

DS rarely gets up before 10am on his own. He is geting up earlier as he gets older but when he was little he didn't get up before noon. I tried putting him to bed earlier but he didn't wake up earlier.

[blondeviolin]

Our rule is that you must be in bed at bedtime, not sleeping (or we'd call it sleeptime!). They are allowed two stuffed animals, five books, and a flashlight. My oldest is our night owl and routinely up till 9, sometimes even 10. She sleeps till 8 or so usually. It's not unheard of for her to sleep until 9, though. The middle two get in bed at bedtime (8pm), pass out within ten minutes, and are routinely up around 7.

 

This is one of the benefits of homeschooling, IMO.

[Χά�ων]

 

Oh no, I'm not talking about Christmas Eve! All bets are off on Christmas Eve! I just mean in general.

 

How old are your littles? Would it be possible to have a fairly clean morning snack out for them if they are hungry and mandatory quiet time in the morning for 30 minutes or so, so you can get a bit more rest?

 

 

I think it is awesome that you and your DH have the time together in the evening,

[KungFuPanda]

My kids are older, sorts not really an issue anymore, but we've never put them to bed early. They stay up late and we stay up later. We always just claimed we were on California time. It's probably the same schedule you keep, just bumped 3 hours later. I think the key for us is that our kids never got wound up at night. They actually got very pleasant, mellow, and quiet . . . even as toddlers. It was a very enjoyable time of day for all of us so we didn't rush to end it. It was definitely worth missing the wee hours of the morning :-D

[YourFidgetyFriend]

I have a 6yo who has never been a big sleeper and I just don't fight it anymore and let her stay up late. She has slept 7-9 hours since she was a baby. Once I tried to enact a bedtime and she began waking in the middle of the night ready to start a new day.

 

My daughter is pretty calm in the evenings, although she can get talkative. She usually reads or spends endless hours gluing and cutting paper.

[Freckles]

When my girls were little, I couldn't keep them calm after 8 at night. They only got more wound up as the night went on. I followed the more they slept, the more they slept motto. They were in bed by 7:30 until 3rd grade. They were always up by 6-7 am. I just couldn't take the high energy in the evening, and My husband was always deployed. I had to have the time to myself. Now they are pre-teen/teenagers. Pippi needs to be in bed by 9:30 and Snow needs to be in bed by Midnight. She is an extreme night owl, and she no longer drives me crazy for the most part. :blink:

[MissKNG]

My girls don't require a lot of sleep. At all. I put my small girl to bed around 8pm and my big girl to bed around 9pm. They don't fall asleep right away and quite frankly, I have no idea when they actually fall asleep. My small girl is up around 5:30am every day regardless of bedtime and my big girl is up about 6am, regardless of bedtime. And they are super active and busy from the second they get up to the second they go to bed. I do have "mandatory sit down time" when it gets closer to bedtime - this is when they MUST sit on the couch and watch TV to settle down a bit.

[TranquilMind]

Right, of course. All of the shows we watch are on Netflix or recorded anyway. The issue is that dh and I are apart for most of the day, and the kids and I are together all day long, so spending all evening with them just isn't very appealing. I'm sorry if that sounds horrible, just trying to figure out how this works!

 

 

Well, this is where he takes them for a little while and does Dad stuff with them and gives you a break. He gets the time he missed with them all day, and you get the much-deserved break and the kids get worn out and happy.

 

It doesn't last long at all. It seems like it, at the time, but soon they are off doing their own thing and you are wishing they'd spend time with you!

[Jen in PA]

Our ideal was always a bed routine rather than a bedtime. After I read stories, the dc could look at books before falling asleep. What we did not count on was having early, voracious readers. That means they fall asleep late, but are in bed reading once baths and family read-aloud are over. Their reading can last for minutes or hours. This works for me because they aren't underfoot at night, and they sleep late in the morning. I am a morning person, so I feel like I get some downtime before they are up.

[Parrothead]

Dd stays up late now. She hasn't always. But she hasn't had a 7p bedtime since she was 3. I'm not a morning person and I don't always sleep at night so I had to train her to sleep until 7a. Dd did have a bed time of 8 until she was 10. Now that she is 13 we all go up to bed at 9 (sometimes 10 like when The Doctor doesn't come on until 9). The DVR is your friend if you want to watch things the kids can't later.

[Jennifer3141]

Our whole family are night owls. But we don't like the kind of movies you do. We're nerds so you'll usually find us watching Star Trek or nature shows until the wee hours. We cosleep with the kids still. Night time is family time for us.

[Reya]

Everything is simply shifted later for us. Combo of traffic and kids coming home late from activities. Kids go to bed at 11pm, and we go to bed after 1am.

[Reya]

Your post is exactly why that I, for 15 years (or so), have counseled parents to put their kids to bed early. LOTS of people see what you see, kids getting another wind by 7:30 or 8pm. Now, it may be problematic for parents putting their kids to bed at 8 or 9pm. It wouldn't be problematic for people allowing their kids to stay up later, when that "wind" has wound down.

 

*I* have never seen a child going to bed later therefore sleeping later; BUT that is probably because my little kids have always been early risers, possibly because of an early bedtime. So it stands to reason that if they go to bed late, they may also still rise early. I'd probably have to mess with their sleep cycle over two weeks or so to see if they could go to bed late and wake up early. And I'd have to live with the consequences in the inbetween.

 

*I* would never do that. I honestly believe in early to bed and early to rise. I also have school-attending children in my home (who must be at school at 7am sharp). Additionally, I *want* my time in the evening. My children are rarely up past 7pm. I could see that pushing up to 8 sometime, at least for some kids. About 6th grade, we'll work with them on self-regulating.

 

ETA: The clock (a tot-clock) turns yellow at 6:30. People are to stay in bed (other than potty needs) until the clock turns yellow. They are to be quiet, not wake siblings, not talk to siblings, to self-entertain. Past the first 3 weeks, we have been very strict about "the blue clock" rules.

 

My son is at gymnastics until 7:30 and isn't home until 8pm. Dinner is rarely served until 9pm. With 1 hour of family time and a bath, that makes bedtime at 11 pm. And I assure you, the kids sleep late!

[Reya]

Right, of course. All of the shows we watch are on Netflix or recorded anyway. The issue is that dh and I are apart for most of the day, and the kids and I are together all day long, so spending all evening with them just isn't very appealing. I'm sorry if that sounds horrible, just trying to figure out how this works!

 

I bathe during daddy's kid time. :)