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Gift buying for DH drives me nuts


jenn-
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I really wish DH did not have presents as his love language. We booked a cruise for the end of January that was supposed to be our Christmas/anniversary present to each other. Of course now that Christmas is here he is talking about stuff that he wants and that he is thinking of getting me. I keep reminding him of the cruise, but I know he wants stuff under that tree. What's worse, he wants surprises under the tree so even though he gives suggestions, he also wants something under there that is unexpected. I've done crafty things for him before, but they usually fall flat in reception. He likes useful things, but doesn't want a "vacuum" aka, nothing like leaf blowers etc. I know he needs a new watch, but what he wants is out of our budget so I passed that off to my FIL but that leaves me with no idea. I am thinking of buying the supplies for this shooting target that he can make, but I fear it will never get put together or worse he will think I am giving him permission to shoot near the house. I was also thinking of some work lights, but that feels "vacuum" like to me. So, women and gents, do these seem like good ideas? What kind of things do you give your DH's? Men on the board, what do you like to receive for gifts?

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I'm no help. My husband is impossible to shop for. He doesn't want or need anything. If he wants something throughout the year (which is very rare), he just buys it himself. Most gifts he receives (from everyone, not just me) go untouched until I scoop them up in a pile and donate them somewhere. He doesn't read except for bar reports and the newpaper, but when he goes on fishing trips, he likes to read fluffy paperpack fantasy fiction books, so sometimes I'll go to Half Priced Books and get him a stack. He likes to wear head bands and wrist bands when he works out, so I buy him some new ones every year, as well as a couple new Tshirts, but that's about it. His only hobbies are fishing and poker, and he doesn't need or want anything more for either of those. So, I'm right there with you. This year, we have very little money, so he won't be the only one with a paltry pile of presents. :tongue_smilie:

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I have an idea for all of you whose husbands are hard to buy for.

 

How about you buy a bunch of stuff that you'd like to have for yourselves, and give it to your husbands for Christmas?

 

Sure, they'll never use any of it, but they wouldn't have used most of the stuff you bought anyway, right?

 

So at least this way, you end up with some great gifts.

 

I'm telling you, this is a win-win situation if you think about it.

 

PS. You probably shouldn't buy them booKshelves, lip glosses, or dangly earrings... unless your dh happens to be into that sort of thing -- and if he would actually use the stuff, that defeats my entire Evil Master Plan anyway.

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books (my dh likes comic books, like calvin and hobbes, the Far Side, and Zits)

 

DVD's (he likes classic TV shows like Perry Mason, Andy Griffith, etc.)

 

If you don't like the idea of a gun shooting target, why not get him some archery stuff? Or some throwing knives and hatchets?

 

My dh would say that you can never go wrong with Corn Nuts and Beef Jerky

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I have an idea for all of you whose husbands are hard to buy for.

 

How about you buy a bunch of stuff that you'd like to have for yourselves, and give it to your husbands for Christmas?

 

Sure, they'll never use any of it, but they wouldn't have used most of the stuff you bought anyway, right?

 

So at least this way, you end up with some great gifts.

 

I'm telling you, this is a win-win situation if you think about it.

 

PS. You probably shouldn't buy them booKshelves, lip glosses, or dangly earrings... unless your dh happens to be into that sort of thing -- and if he would actually use the stuff, that defeats my entire Evil Master Plan anyway.

 

 

:rofl: Great Idea!

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I'll be getting DH a board game, maybe 2, Perplexus Epic, Light Saber icepop molds and a couple of t-shirts, plus I got him and the 3 kids nerf guns (he needs a nerf gun for his office, they have random nerf fights). He is fairly easy to shop for though. I just go to online shops I know he likes and search around until I find something that matches his interests and is fun.

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DH and I just don't exchange much at all. I think he would *like* to make it a bigger deal, but we're both hard to buy for. We do put a little something under the tree for each of us... DS is an only child and he wouldn't want to be the only one opening gifts!! This year, I ordered some DVD's from Amazon that we wanted, and I'll wrap those up and put them under the tree... get us each an i-tunes gift card, and done!!

 

It would be hard if the love language for one partner was gifts, and they were expecting great surprises each year.

 

Cat - I like your idea. :D Nah, lip gloss is probably off the table, but you can always get a new set of dishes, or an espresso maker, and call it a "joint" gift!!

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Oh boy, at least I wasn't the one to start this thread this year.

 

My husband, too, dislikes practical gifts and anything that isn't a surprise. In our family (at his instigation), if anyone has openly asked for something, they probably won't find it under the tree. Gifts should surprise and delight, be the thing the person didn't even know existed until the package is opened . . .

 

However, he has no hobbies to speak of. He watches TV, occasionally plays World of Warcraft (although he goes in and out of that), plays RPGs with a group from work maybe once a month. He has a bad back and does nothing active or outdoorsy. For the most part, if something needs to be fixed around the house, I do it or we pay someone. (So, all the normal standby things like tools and such are off the list.)

 

We don't have a big budget, but if he wants something and we can afford it, he buys it for himself whenever he feels like doing so.

 

He's not especially into food.

 

We live in a house that is too small for the four of us, and one entire wall of the master bedroom is lined with boxes of cutesy decorative stuff we haven't bothered to unpack because there's no place to put it.

 

He already owns: an iPhone, an iPad, a desktop computer and a laptop. He doesn't wear a watch (by choice). He doesn't wear jewelry.

 

By the time Christmas hits, we've used up any ideas we might have had on Father's Day and his birthday (in September).

 

His love language is gifts. And he is a miserable human being if we don't do enough or don't get him anything good.

 

Needless to say, I start dreading Christmas around the middle of summer. (Catwoman's idea won't work, both because he'd see through it and because I don't give a hoot about presents, myself. I'm uncomfortable having money spent on me and would much rather see it go into a charitable donation.)

 

With that said, here are my only ideas for him thus far for this year:

 

- I found Muppet appliques at the craft store. (He's a big Muppets fan.) I'm planning to sew them onto polo shirts he can wear to work on casual Fridays. It's almost practical, in that it's clothing, but it's both cute enough and personal enough that I think I can get away with it.

 

- His car stereo does not allow for plugging in his iPhone. He's looked into getting it replaced, but it's far too expensive. He hates driving without music. So, I was considering burning him some CDs of favorite songs that he could keep in the car. I'm trying to figure out some way to package them in a cute way, labelled as "Driving Music," but I'm feeling less inspired about this one with each passing day.

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- His car stereo does not allow for plugging in his iPhone. He's looked into getting it replaced, but it's far too expensive. He hates driving without music. So, I was considering burning him some CDs of favorite songs that he could keep in the car. I'm trying to figure out some way to package them in a cute way, labelled as "Driving Music," but I'm feeling less inspired about this one with each passing day.

 

 

They make adapters for regular car stereos so you can plug your iPhone/iPod in and listen through the speaker system. Much easier than burning CDs, and then he can still have his iPhone playlists.

 

ETA: you'll want to search for a iPhone/iPod "FM car transmitter" or the like.

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I am getting DH a new pair of slippers, a remote starter for his car, and a book. The dog will get him a Whitman's Sampler (DH loves them). I don't know what the kids will get him ... I can't think of anything else ... probably gift cards to Barnes & Noble, Red Lobster, and Applebees.

 

The remote starter was this year's Great Idea -- I fear it will be a once in a marriage experience for me.

 

The only gift I've ever given DH that he really, truly loved (besides books, which he expects) was a milkshake machine. I expect the remote starter to be in that category because (1) DH is 63 and not in the best health; and (2) it is cold outside in the winter and he will feel a lot more comfortable in an already-warm car.

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I have an idea for all of you whose husbands are hard to buy for.

 

How about you buy a bunch of stuff that you'd like to have for yourselves, and give it to your husbands for Christmas?

 

Sure, they'll never use any of it, but they wouldn't have used most of the stuff you bought anyway, right?

 

So at least this way, you end up with some great gifts.

 

I'm telling you, this is a win-win situation if you think about it.

 

PS. You probably shouldn't buy them booKshelves, lip glosses, or dangly earrings... unless your dh happens to be into that sort of thing -- and if he would actually use the stuff, that defeats my entire Evil Master Plan anyway.

 

 

Yeah - why not. That's what my DH usually does for me -buys stuff that he wants for himself. I use it for one day then it disappears :glare:

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They make adapters for regular car stereos so you can plug your iPhone/iPod in and listen through the speaker system. Much easier than burning CDs, and then he can still have his iPhone playlists.

 

ETA: you'll want to search for a iPhone/iPod "FM car transmitter" or the like.

 

 

He's checked and found none of those work with his system. He's a tech guy for a living and has visited more than one car stereo place attempting to solve the problem. If it could be done, he'd know.

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Dh is hard to shop for..... each year I try to find a theme. One year, I walked into a store, and all of the Beatle's albums were on remastered CDs....score because dh loves the Beatles. Last year was piano theme, we got the piano tuned and got piano music. This year hasn't come together yet. We have kept Christmas simple for many years, we had many very lean years and are now in the habit of getting a few things for each person that they need/want.

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I sympathize. Guy gifts are tricky.

 

Since your DH likes shooting, maybe this is a gift idea. My boys have a lot of fun with a gopher shaped spintarget. Http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B0001M4BRU/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_tl?ie=UTF8&camp=1789&creative=9325&creativeASIN=B0001M4BRU&linkCode=as2&tag=libhilhou-20

 

Uggh, still haven't figured out how to link properly yet. Sorry!

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Oh boy, at least I wasn't the one to start this thread this year.

 

.

 

- His car stereo does not allow for plugging in his iPhone. He's looked into getting it replaced, but it's far too expensive. He hates driving without music. So, I was considering burning him some CDs of favorite songs that he could keep in the car. I'm trying to figure out some way to package them in a cute way, labelled as "Driving Music," but I'm feeling less inspired about this one with each passing day.

 

you can get a nifty thingy that plugs into the cigarette lighter at one end and plugs into a memory stick on the other end. You can put a huge play list onto a memory stick. Way better than CD's. It was the grand price of $5

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My dh needs a nice, new coat. He would never buy it for himself so I did. My dds didn't think it was such a great gift. Tonight at dinner dh actually said he needed to get a new coat. :coolgleamA: I win! :tongue_smilie: I just got lucky this year. I usually have no idea what he really wants.

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Thanks for all the suggestions. Some I have done in the past, others won't work. I think I need to stop taking him Black Friday shopping with me and once again tell him he is not allowed to buy anything for himself from October on. I used to be able to get him a stack of movies that I always tell him no on throughout the year, but now he goes shopping with me and he knows everything I buy. Since mid November he has come home with a spotting scope and a small digital locking gun case. I flat out looked at him and said those would have been great Christmas gifts.

 

I went out and bought the parts to the gun stand and it ended up being a little more expensive then I had planned. I wish I had the know how to chop up a large PVC pipe, but I don't so I had to get the precut ones (couldn't figure out how to wrap a 7' PVC pipe so that he could do the cutting). I separated the stuff into 3 different presents and I am going to put the instructions in a card on the tree. I need to find large targets he can use on it, but I saw them at Academy.

 

Thanks again. Sometimes it is nice just knowing you are not the only one in this position.

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My dh needs a nice, new coat. He would never buy it for himself so I did. My dds didn't think it was such a great gift. Tonight at dinner dh actually said he needed to get a new coat. :coolgleamA: I win! :tongue_smilie: I just got lucky this year. I usually have no idea what he really wants.

 

 

So how are you going to convince him he doesn't need it until after Christmas without giving away your gift? If my DH got the notion he needed a new coat, he would just go out and get one.

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So if it shouldn't be practical and it needs to be a suprise.... Dig deep into those memories of cheezy 80's movies!

Make a mix CD of his favorite songs.

Make a quilt of all of his old concert tshirts that are gathering dust in the closet.

Write him a poem and frame it.

Make a little album of your life together.

Figure out what his favorite toy was as a kid and see if you can get it on ebay. (My dh's was that Star Wars trash compactor. Alas, I am NOT paying $75 for a 30 yo toy!)

What was the toy that he wanted as a child but never got? See if you can get that one.

Cheesy band that he loved when he was younger? They are probably touring.

I secretly love Legos (well, I guess it's not a secret anymore.) My dh has gotten me my own kits before.

 

I have gotten/made/had made all the things above. The quilt my mom made is beautiful and hang in our bedroom. I've also used some of these ideas for other hard to shop for men in my family. My dad's mom collected carnival glass. She died when he was 9 and some familiy member cleared out the house before he returned home. I started collecting it for him. Not the same as his mom's, but in honor of her at least.

 

Of course, the above don't really work if he wants store bought fancy stuff. Luckily, my dh is also a sentimental gift giver, too. He and boys picked out a trio of antique crocks for my kitchen last year, in three sizes representing the three of them. Cost them $60 total. I smile everytime I see them.

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This will be the first year (in 15) that DH and I are doing gifts for each other. I found this idea on Pinterest. I'm having so much fun thinking of dates for us. I'm trying to think of things unique but also things that he enjoys and things I enjoy. For instance, I don't golf and he doesn't often but he loves it. One month we'll go to a driving range and then the next month we'll go play a round. I figure I'll at least enjoy driving the cart around! We'll go to a huge outdoor vintage market in the Spring. It's my thing but he'll enjoy the day out. Of course, I'll throw in dinner and a movie type dates too. I'm having fun planning them! Kinda hard to keep it a secret!

 

Hope that helps some.

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So how are you going to convince him he doesn't need it until after Christmas without giving away your gift? If my DH got the notion he needed a new coat, he would just go out and get one.

 

 

It's easy for me because dh never shops for himself. The only stuff he just goes out and buys is usually from Home Depot.

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So if it shouldn't be practical and it needs to be a suprise.... Dig deep into those memories of cheezy 80's movies!

Make a mix CD of his favorite songs.

Make a quilt of all of his old concert tshirts that are gathering dust in the closet.

Write him a poem and frame it.

Make a little album of your life together.

Figure out what his favorite toy was as a kid and see if you can get it on ebay. (My dh's was that Star Wars trash compactor. Alas, I am NOT paying $75 for a 30 yo toy!)

What was the toy that he wanted as a child but never got? See if you can get that one.

Cheesy band that he loved when he was younger? They are probably touring.

I secretly love Legos (well, I guess it's not a secret anymore.) My dh has gotten me my own kits before.

 

I have gotten/made/had made all the things above. The quilt my mom made is beautiful and hang in our bedroom. I've also used some of these ideas for other hard to shop for men in my family. My dad's mom collected carnival glass. She died when he was 9 and some familiy member cleared out the house before he returned home. I started collecting it for him. Not the same as his mom's, but in honor of her at least.

 

Of course, the above don't really work if he wants store bought fancy stuff. Luckily, my dh is also a sentimental gift giver, too. He and boys picked out a trio of antique crocks for my kitchen last year, in three sizes representing the three of them. Cost them $60 total. I smile everytime I see them.

 

I have done some of those and I can promise he would not be able to put his hands on any of it. I tried being fancy last year and bought him a Nanoblock kit (tini tiny lego pieces) of the Schestwein (totally not spelled right) Castle in Germany that he talks about from a high school trip. Guess where it is sitting? Yep in a box never put together. I made heating/cooling rice bags one year for gifts and he requested some bean bag sized ones for himself. Guess where those are... all over the house never being touched, and he actually asked for those. I think I have just decided to give up on making him things. There is a winter hat pattern I might try to crochet, but even then, I'm not really feeling it.

 

It's easy for me because dh never shops for himself. The only stuff he just goes out and buys is usally from Home Depot.

 

That must be nice. Mine would just order it from Amazon. :glare:

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Of course, the above don't really work if he wants store bought fancy stuff. Luckily, my dh is also a sentimental gift giver, too. He and boys picked out a trio of antique crocks for my kitchen last year, in three sizes representing the three of them. Cost them $60 total. I smile everytime I see them.

 

 

And some of it worked well when I did it at some point in the last 25 years or so. And some of it might work okay now if we didn't already have the aforementioned wall lined with boxes of stuff we can't even unpack because our house is already too full of other cute, sentimental stuff.

 

Good ideas for other folks, though!

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I am not much help! I struggle with this as well, unlike your DH though, my DH hates holidays and doesnt really care if I get him something. He doesnt understand that the kids are concerned when he doesnt get something, and of course I want to get him something. This year I am making him 2 button down dress shirts. He is very practical in his tastes, and he needs shirts. He does like that I make them myself, so he feels like he has received something good.

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Bacon, unless he's a vegetarian you can't go wrong.

 

Bacon of the month club

6-pack of microbrews

chocolate covered bacon

bacon-flavored toothpicks

 

I have to buy for BIL this year. He doesn't have hobbies. He has all the tools and toys he wants. Even SIL tells us to get a gift certificate. He's getting bacon this year.

 

My husband is the lone ovo-lacto vegetarian in a house full of vegans.

 

And he almost never drinks beer.

 

And he thinks gift cards/gift certificates are impersonal.

 

Now, don't you feel like you have it easy?

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DH is ALWAYS hard to buy for. He's a curler, but there aren't a ton of curling-themed gifts out there. This year I decided to spend more than I normally would and bought a reproduction of a vintage curling scene print. I had it matted and framed. Does he like any sports teams? Dh is a Redskins fan, but we're in Patriots/Giants Land, so he doesn't have a lot of Redskins stuff. I bought him an RGIII T-shirt (he's the QB) so I think he'll like that. I also just bought him some vintage curling club pins on Ebay; I don't think I spent more than $5 on any of them.

It's my teen dd that's the problem this year........ she never tells us what she wants!

 

astrid

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I have done some of those and I can promise he would not be able to put his hands on any of it. I tried being fancy last year and bought him a Nanoblock kit (tini tiny lego pieces) of the Schestwein (totally not spelled right) Castle in Germany that he talks about from a high school trip. Guess where it is sitting? Yep in a box never put together. I made heating/cooling rice bags one year for gifts and he requested some bean bag sized ones for himself. Guess where those are... all over the house never being touched, and he actually asked for those. I think I have just decided to give up on making him things. There is a winter hat pattern I might try to crochet, but even then, I'm not really feeling it.

:glare:

 

Well, Boo! Sorry, Jenn. Maybe someone will get some good ideas for you!

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You are a very lucky woman. :)

 

:D It's really not luck. I handle all of the finances. Dh uses his cc for lunches, his car maintenance, and the stuff he needs/wants from Home Depot, but he never purchases anything else. When he's ready to buy Christmas gifts, he asks me how much cash he can take out of the bank. Otherwise, I would know where he shopped (and probably what he bought) when I pay the bills. :lol:

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I am no help. My dh wants a $100 flashlight for Christmas. And being our budget for each other is $100 I guess he will get one small present....a flashlight. It sounds so awful!

 

A second gift could be a package of batteries (assuming that the flashlight is not a crank operated one).

 

Regards,

Kareni

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Dh and I rarely exchange gifts. We are working hard to eliminate our debt. Being debt free someday will be our gift. We concentrate on the kids and our parents.

 

Gifts are *not* dh's love language at all. That's all I'm going to say. If I want something I have to get it myself.

 

We just had to buy a new dryer last week (and it won't be delivered until Dec. 29th!!!!!!!!) so Merry Christmas to me. :tongue_smilie:

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It seems that there is a curling card game -- Hurry Hard! Who would have guessed?

 

Have you seen these curling t-shirts?

 

Regards,

Kareni

 

LOL! You rock, Kareni! (pun intended!) Didn't know about the card game, but have been hitting up zazzle and cafepress curling departments for years. :-)

 

Thanks tons-- the card game will be perfect!

 

astrid

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