Jean in Newcastle Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Next week is our Thanksgiving vacation. My plan was to work everyday down in the schoolroom plus get some down time. My friends, family and dentist are conspiring against me. So far this is what I have going on: Monday - Nothing, I think, other than kickboxing. It's my birthday but I doubt we'll do anything on that day. We can get in some time in the schoolroom to work. Tuesday - I have to have 3 fillings. 3. :crying: Dh wanted to take me out to see a movie in the evening or we were planning to see it the next day on - Wed. Wednesday - the aforementioned movie. But . . . my brother who lives 6 hours away wants us to come for Thanksgiving. I have said no for the last 5 years because my dh can never go and my health hasn't been good enough to make the trip by myself with the kids. This year my health is better. I doubt dh could go but I could do it. It would be pretty tiring though. We would stay at a hotel to give me some wiggle room for pain and discomfort. Thursday - If I go to my brother's, then we'd have Thanksgiving. If not, it would be nothing other than a family day at home because dh's family has moved Thanksgiving to Saturday. Friday - If I go to my brother's then we would be traveling back home for 6 hours by car. If not, then nothing - except for stuff around the house. Saturday - the IL's Thanksgiving. My SIL hosts and I usually bring a side of her choosing. Easy-peasy. I also have a friend who is waiting in line to see me but I could figure out a way to see her the next week, though it will be a bit difficult due to school being back in session for us. So. . . what do you think? Do you think I should go to my brother's house? I like them. They like me. They stop by here at least once a year on their way to other events. I haven't been to their place in about 5 years. But - I will be tired. But not dead tired. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gracesteacher Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 i would go if I physically could. Life is short and it is family that you actually are ok to be with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 i would go if I physically could. Life is short and it is family that you actually are ok to be with. This is me..... I regret some of the trips I didn't make. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robin M Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Actually I would make arrangements to see your brother some other time when you have more time to spend. Because for me, those 6 hours there and back would be exhausting for me. Especially for a total one day visit. Holiday visits are usually more stressful for some reason than off holidays. And given holiday traffic add 2 or 3 hours on to that each way. It would just be too frustrating a visit and by the time I got home, I definitely wouldn't want to do anything for the rest of the week. I'd be too exhausted to want to spend Saturday with the IL's. My 2 cents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I wouldn't. Just too much driving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JudoMom Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I would go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Honestly I think I'd go to db's and send my regrets to MIL. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz CA Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 If you know you could swing it, go. The fact that you can this year but would not have been able to in the past is a big deal. You are stronger and healthier! You can stop on the way there and home a few extra times. Too bad you don't have a student driver yet. This would be an excellent time to let someone else drive a bit ... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
clarkacademy Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I would go. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I would go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Remudamom Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 Six hours is nothing. I would kill for family only six hours away. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lawana Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I would go, because I can't see you ever regretting it. On the other hand, you might regret staying away. Bottom line is that it is our relationships that mean the most in the long run. Have you ever gone through old photos? I know that I'm really only interested in the people. The scenery is nice, but years later, it seems strangely irrelevant. As long as it doesn't totally exhaust you, I vote for going. Memories of siblings and cousins are far more satisfying than memories of clean school rooms. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ali in OR Posted November 15, 2012 Share Posted November 15, 2012 I would go--it's been five years. Doesn't seem like much to you, but you can give your kids a memory of Thanksgiving with this side of the family--they wouldn't remember 5 years ago very well. I would love to be within a one day drive of my family. It's 13 hours which we can sort of do with 2 drivers, but basically we just make it a 2-day drive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 15, 2012 Author Share Posted November 15, 2012 I was able to talk to dh tonight (he's out of town) and he might be able to go with us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CountitallJoy Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I was able to talk to dh tonight (he's out of town) and he might be able to go with us. THIS is what I was hoping to hear! I have chronic pain and inflammation, and a 6 hour car trip requires nearly a day to recover. Back when I still had insurance and meds, I was able to do a lot more, but now without? And as the only driver? No way :( , especially with only a day between the travel days. I agree with the pp who suggested maybe going when you can stay longer. I realize the importance of family, but I also know what it's like to be in so much pain that you can't even enjoy the time together. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 I don't mean to offend or insult anyone, but folks, there's a HUGE diff btwn a regular situation and driving 6 hrs, and someone w/chronic pain making the same trip. It adds a whole new dimension of issues to the situation. For the average person, driving 12 hrs in 3 days would be exhausting. For someone w/chronic pain issues, it can be debilitating, excruciating, horrific. Knock a person down for the count for days and days after. It's really just not as simple as a 6 hr trip each way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Since this is a WWYD thread, I'm gonna lay it out there. I have chronic pain, three kids, and a brother whom I see once every 18-24 months (he is in the army). This brother is my best friend in the world. I'd do whatever it took to be with him for Thanksgiving. Hope you and your DH are able to come up with a solution, Jean!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happypamama Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 If you go to your brother's, would your ILs understand if you were too tired to see them on Saturday? Could you send just your DH and kids to the ILs'? Or would that create unnecessary drama with your ILs? I think I'd probably opt to take an easy week and skip the cleaning, go to my brother's if I felt up to it at the time, and then take as much time as I needed to rest afterward, even if it meant skipping the celebration at the ILs. But I also have not dealt with a chronic pain condition, and I think it's also well within your rights to say that you aren't able to make it to your brother's. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimm Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 It does sound exhausting but I would cut out other stuff and see my brother if only because it has been so long since you've been. It sounds like he's been making all the effort to come see you in the past few years, so it'd probably mean a lot to him if you'd come. I would delay other things like the movie from that week rather than a holiday with family. Good luck with your decision. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whereneverever Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 Six hours is nothing. I would kill for family only six hours away. Yes, this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted November 18, 2012 Share Posted November 18, 2012 The only way I'd go is if I did not drive home until Sunday. I wouldn't want to drive 6 hours on Wednesday and Friday. I'd be exhausted. Are you come back for the Saturday Thanksgiving? Is this the day of the pig head? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted November 18, 2012 Author Share Posted November 18, 2012 The only way I'd go is if I did not drive home until Sunday. I wouldn't want to drive 6 hours on Wednesday and Friday. I'd be exhausted. Are you come back for the Saturday Thanksgiving? Is this the day of the pig head? No, no, no, RC, pig's heads are for Christmas! Purple squid is for Thanksgiving! (And no, I'm not joking about the culinary joys of being in an intercultural family!) I can't afford to stay that long. It's decided. Dh reneged on me (which honestly I thought he would because he has way too much going on with work). The kids and I are still going because I am a soldier and I'm going to take gut it out. We can't afford for me to stay in a hotel for two nights but I'm doing it anyway. My brother has a nice guest room made out of a converted garage but it is cold in there and the beds are sofa-sleepers and that would finish me off. Dh and I talked it over and decided that if I were to try and stay at my brother's, I would probably not be able to drive back and then we'd be stuck. So I'm gutting it out with a side of luxury to keep me mobile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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