Would this freak you out?

[Carol in Cal.]

I don't know. My gut after reading all this tells me that he DID want to hurt her. She was smart enough to keep her distance and to keep moving. Had she stopped, or decided to move closer to help him, I fear the worst. His conversation seemed to be such to try to calm her, put her at ease.

 

This is my read on the situation, also.

 

It is possible to stand someone down by being pretty confident and staying out of reach. It doesn't always work, but it can, and it should be attempted.

 

I agree with the advice to say you can't stop, must finish the run also.

 

And I think he meant to hurt you. I'm sorry to say that, but I do.

[speedmom4]

:iagree: with so many other's responses. I also run and thankfully have not had any scary moments. I did have a few kids use me as an airsoft target once.

 

This was a great blog post by a fellow woman runner:

 

http://www.shutupandrun.net/2012/06/another-running-tragedy-how-to-stay.html?m=1

 

Please stay safe!

 

Elise in NC

[Carol in Cal.]

 

This was a great blog post by a fellow woman runner:

 

http://www.shutupandrun.net/2012/06/another-running-tragedy-how-to-stay.html?m=1

 

 

 

I followed the Sherry Arnold story very closely as we have a great deal in common. Kept the porch light on for her for a long time. Horrible, stupid, unacceptable, and, most of all, NOT NORMAL to have such violence.

[Trish]

I'm glad you're alive to tell the story. And honestly I probably wouldn't have run past him the first time, would've turned right around. I don't give the benefit of the doubt in situations where my safety might be compromised.

[Trish]

Looking for a lost taillight? That doesn't even make sense, what value is a broken taillight? Nobody would be looking for that a week later. His whole story is unbelievable and he said he'd been watching you and tried to advance toward you as you backed away... I think you are very lucky. I would call the police right away to report the incident and change my running habits. Run somewhere else with a partner and a dog if possible, and pepper spray.

 

:iagree: Looking for a "lost taillight" at TWILIGHT. I absolutely wouldn't be running without a pepper spray or something, and definitely not at lonely times of day. Also keep in mind, IF he had pulled a gun, well, you just don't ever want to go anywhere with someone. Once they get you to a second location you are deader than dead. So just take off running -- it's difficult to hit a person who is running, and anyway, at that point a kidnapping is out of the question so there's no real REASON to shoot at you and draw attention to himself. Don't EVER get in the car.

[ChristyB in TN]

You know, it is crazy but I feel so much safer running in urban areas than rural. I have a favorite route downtown and favorite homeless people. One homeless man even calls me "Queen," so of course I have to wave and call him "Governor.":D then there is one woman who sleeps on front of a park I love, she always gets a couple of dollars from me...then my husband when he runs by. No homeless person has ever made me feel afraid. I have had a couple of moments with pick up trucks in rural area that scared the bejeebers out of me.

I found a dead homeless man once in my favorite park. I was on a long run and didn't carry my phone. It was very early in the morning but I found a couple walking and told them I needed them to call an ambulance and why. They said no. :001_huh: I told them that wasn't okay, so the man handed the phone to my sweaty self and when I dialed 911, he ended up talking to them because he had forgotten he had his Bluetooth on. The ambulance came, it looked like he'd had a heart attack. All of his homeless buddies came out from behind things, cried, told me his name was Dan. I left, ran a mile, came back and cried with them again. It was awful.

My long run was over, obviously so I ran the 3 miles back to the coffee shop to meet my husband, we always meet there. When I saw him, he was in an all out desperate sprint. He had run past the park because he knows I run through there and he checks on me, and saw the police tape. He was scared witless something had happened to me. I love him. I called my dad who was pastoring a church at the time and cried. He called a friend who preaches at the mission downtown and told him Dan had died and did he know him? They both cried. Dan touched a lot of people that day, I wish we could have found him sooner.

Thanks for allowing me to share that! It has been a while!

I think my point was that I feel safer urban, even though it isn't true and that normal looking old guys can be scary and sometimes won't let you use their phone!

[Catwoman]

Obviously, I have no idea whether or not the guy meant you any harm, but there were certainly enough red flags for me to strongly suspect that he did.

 

1. He knows that you run, and he knows your route. He waited for you to pass by once, and then was still there when you came back. That would make perfect sense if he was up to no good, because a potentially fatigued runner will be a lot easier to subdue than one who is still fresh and energetic.

 

2. He kept talking to you and walking toward you. He tried to sound as though he "knows" you and that he's just a nice local guy... with a ridiculous story about a lost taillight -- from a week ago. :glare: (Did you happen to notice if he had a dented fender? And how did he hit the pole with the back of his truck while trying to avoid a deer? :confused:)

 

3. He was driving a box truck that would be a great place to transport a victim.

 

4. The ticks and chiggers story makes no sense, particularly if he was wearing shorts.

 

5. Why would waited a week to look for a useless broken taillight, and then gone out searching at dusk? And why would he be looking on both sides of the road???

 

Personally, I would call the police non-emergency number or stop in at your local police station and let them know what happened. You can be perfectly honest about not knowing whether or not the guy meant any harm, but that something just didn't feel right to you and you thought you should report the incident. For all you know, 3 or 4 other women may have already reported the same guy. If nothing else, the police will know to keep an eye out for a guy milling around a white truck on quiet parts of the roads.

 

I'm sure the police will be very nice about it. Our local police always stress the importance of reporting anything that we think is at all suspicious, because they say they would rather check out several things that turn out to be nothing, rather than have people not report something they witnessed "that was probably nothing," and it ends with something really bad happening.

 

Ultimately, if you felt threatened, you probably were. Very, very bad people can act very, very nice and look very, very normal, so if you had a weird feeling about the guy, that's good enough for me.

[Catwoman]

I found a dead homeless man once in my favorite park. I was on a long run and didn't carry my phone. It was very early in the morning but I found a couple walking and told them I needed them to call an ambulance and why. They said no. :001_huh: I told them that wasn't okay, so the man handed the phone to my sweaty self and when I dialed 911, he ended up talking to them because he had forgotten he had his Bluetooth on. The ambulance came, it looked like he'd had a heart attack. All of his homeless buddies came out from behind things, cried, told me his name was Dan. I left, ran a mile, came back and cried with them again. It was awful.

My long run was over, obviously so I ran the 3 miles back to the coffee shop to meet my husband, we always meet there. When I saw him, he was in an all out desperate sprint. He had run past the park because he knows I run through there and he checks on me, and saw the police tape. He was scared witless something had happened to me. I love him. I called my dad who was pastoring a church at the time and cried. He called a friend who preaches at the mission downtown and told him Dan had died and did he know him? They both cried. Dan touched a lot of people that day, I wish we could have found him sooner.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

 

That must have been so hard for you. :(

[Plucky]

You know, it is crazy but I feel so much safer running in urban areas than rural. I have a favorite route downtown and favorite homeless people. One homeless man even calls me "Queen," so of course I have to wave and call him "Governor.":D then there is one woman who sleeps on front of a park I love, she always gets a couple of dollars from me...then my husband when he runs by. No homeless person has ever made me feel afraid. I have had a couple of moments with pick up trucks in rural area that scared the bejeebers out of me.

I found a dead homeless man once in my favorite park. I was on a long run and didn't carry my phone. It was very early in the morning but I found a couple walking and told them I needed them to call an ambulance and why. They said no. :001_huh: I told them that wasn't okay, so the man handed the phone to my sweaty self and when I dialed 911, he ended up talking to them because he had forgotten he had his Bluetooth on. The ambulance came, it looked like he'd had a heart attack. All of his homeless buddies came out from behind things, cried, told me his name was Dan. I left, ran a mile, came back and cried with them again. It was awful.

My long run was over, obviously so I ran the 3 miles back to the coffee shop to meet my husband, we always meet there. When I saw him, he was in an all out desperate sprint. He had run past the park because he knows I run through there and he checks on me, and saw the police tape. He was scared witless something had happened to me. I love him. I called my dad who was pastoring a church at the time and cried. He called a friend who preaches at the mission downtown and told him Dan had died and did he know him? They both cried. Dan touched a lot of people that day, I wish we could have found him sooner.

Thanks for allowing me to share that! It has been a while!

I think my point was that I feel safer urban, even though it isn't true and that normal looking old guys can be scary and sometimes won't let you use their phone!

 

Why would someone say no??? We were driving in downtown Tacoma with my dh's whole family in a big van. One man was beating another. This was back before cell phones were so common. I had to plead with my fil - a minister to pull over so we could call the police. :confused:

[Remudamom]

I think Cat is absolutely right. You watch your back.

[ChristyB in TN]

I think Cat is absolutely right. You watch your back.

 

:iagree:

[BigMamaBird]

Yup, that would have freaked me out. You did the right thing by listening to your instincts and getting out of there.

[Denisemomof4]

I haven't seen the truck before that I am aware of, just a non-descript white pickup. There's probably hundreds of them in the county.

 

Another thing that freaked me out was that he said "I see you out here running all the time" at least 5 times.

 

Yup! I'd TOTALLY be freaked and I would no longer run alone. If necessary, I would drive to a more populated area for my run.

 

FWIW, I nearly lost my life to a crazy mad man. I make no apologies for being more cautious than many/most.

[Denisemomof4]

Given your update I might do a non-emergency call to your police. Maybe he is watching other women. If one has any sort of people skills, you know not to state stuff like that. Trust your gut.

 

Do you have a big dog to take with you for a while?

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

[missiemick]

Read "The Gift of Fear" by Gavin DeBecker. You'll know that you did the right thing.

[idnib]

The situation itself wouldn't weird me out but I would listen to my gut feelings about it and if they were like yours I would be disturbed. But I can also see the exact same thing happening without feeling weird and in that case I would be fine.

 

So it's not so much the exact circumstance but my reaction to it.

[fairfarmhand]

I suppose the whole thing is now making me a bit angry. I (just because I am female) have to change my routine, I've been a bit unnerved, I wonder what might happen next time I run.

 

Completely annoying.

[Catwoman]

I suppose the whole thing is now making me a bit angry. I (just because I am female) have to change my routine, I've been a bit unnerved, I wonder what might happen next time I run.

 

Completely annoying.

 

Try to look at it as a reminder that you should always be careful, cautious, and aware of your surroundings at all times -- and not just when you're out running. You don't have to be paranoid, although you might feel that way for a while, considering what happened, but it's very possible to be aware and careful, while still having a great time.

 

Sometimes I think things like this happen for a reason -- it's easy to get too casual when you're running along your regular route, because, well, it's your regular route and it's familiar. BUT... running a regular route makes you a potential target for someone like the guy in the truck who sees you following the same route day after day.

 

It's awful to feel nervous about doing something you love to do, but thank goodness you still have the opportunity to be nervous, and that something horrible didn't happen with that creepy guy.

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Carol in Cal.]

I suppose the whole thing is now making me a bit angry. I (just because I am female) have to change my routine, I've been a bit unnerved, I wonder what might happen next time I run.

 

Completely annoying.

 

See, exactly my point. We need to stop accepting this as normal, and realize that it's annoying and just plain not right, and not accept it. I think that everyone should be a bit angry about the prevalance of having to worry about this kind of nonsense just because we are female. Things should not be this way.

[brendag]

Just saw this thread for the first time.

 

When there was a few robbery attempts in our neighborhood last year, a couple of sheriff deputies came to the HOA meeting. They said they wished people would call MORE. They said it doesn't matter if you aren't sure or not, just please give them a chance to send someone out to check things out either way. They also said this applied to anything suspicious...they WANT to know about it so that they can potentially prevent something from happening if need be.

 

One other thing that didn't make sense about the story the guy gave you. Why would he be "stomping" in the weeds looking for a taillight? So when he hears the "crunch" he'll know he found it, but wait...it's now busted!

 

You did the right thing. I'm sorry you had to go through it because it is very unnerving. I've lived in or near big cities in CA all my life and it sucks to have to think about it when you go out. :( My friends and I have had way too many "close calls" to even list.

 

Brenda

[Marylou]

I haven't seen the truck before that I am aware of, just a non-descript white pickup. There's probably hundreds of them in the county.

 

Another thing that freaked me out was that he said "I see you out here running all the time" at least 5 times.

 

 

How could this NOT freak someone out????? I'm assuming you didn't ask him where he is when he sees you out running all the time.

 

I agree with Trish; I wouldn't have run past him the first time, but I'm a fraidy cat like that.

 

I would get a treadmill :auto:

[jhschool]

and report him.

This is IMPORTANT.

They need to be aware

of this guy.

Don't run there any more.

Also tell your friends not

to run there either.

[mchel210]

OMgoodness...so scary sounding. I would notify your local police that you saw a suspicious male and the circumstances ...just so they are aware! They wont do anything besides keep an eye out...but I wouldnt run in that same area at the same time alone again for a while. I cant imagine what might have happened...You see it in the news all the time. It can happen anywhere!!

 

You should ALWAYS trust your instinct. And have a long talk with your kids about staying close to home!!!

[Wildcat]

How could this NOT freak someone out????? I'm assuming you didn't ask him where he is when he sees you out running all the time.

:iagree: Yes, I would have been freaked out.

 

OMgoodness...so scary sounding. I would notify your local police that you saw a suspicious male and the circumstances ...just so they are aware! They wont do anything besides keep an eye out...but I wouldnt run in that same area at the same time alone again for a while. I cant imagine what might have happened...You see it in the news all the time. It can happen anywhere!!

 

You should ALWAYS trust your instinct. And have a long talk with your kids about staying close to home!!!

 

:iagree: The police need to know about this. Maybe the police are already looking for him. You never know, but by reporting your suspicions, you may very well 'save' another woman. Or young girl.

 

Our neighborhood watch had an officer come to speak to us, and (like a PP) he said they WANT to know what's happening. We are their 'eyes and ears' and if we don't call with suspicions, they can only react to a crime, rather than be proactive.

 

:grouphug: to you. I would still be feeling hinky about that encounter. We're allowed to carry Tasers (out in the open, even, if we want). Is that an option for you? I don't trust pepper spray... I've had them 'go bad' without realizing it. If a Taser is an option, I would just buy a small fanny pack and stick it in there.

[fairfarmhand]

I talked to a really nice police officer yesterday. He took my report and, like you all said, was glad that I called. He also said that he would let the night patrolmen know what had happened and they would stop this truck if they saw it and ask a few questions.

 

It occurred to me yesterday, that depending on where he "saw me running" he very well could know which house I live in....FREAKY!

[lorilou]

no, but my dh has asked me to a. run in the middle of the day, no more dusk running and b. run with a partner.

I read the book "The Gift of Fear" and as I was slowly backing away from this man, I was thinking " Listen to that voice!"

 

This was totally what I was thinking of! TRUST your instincts!

[jujsky]

I haven't seen the truck before that I am aware of, just a non-descript white pickup. There's probably hundreds of them in the county.

 

Another thing that freaked me out was that he said "I see you out here running all the time" at least 5 times.

 

Change your running route AND carry pepper spray. That's not right -- not right at all.

[StephanieZ]

Yep, I'd be weirded out. 99% chance he was harmless (and clueless), but 1% is not a chance I'd like to take.

 

If I were you, I'd carry pepper spray AND a cell phone EVERY TIME you run that route for at least the next couple months. If he was harmless, you'll never see him again, and start forgetting the pepper spray in time. If you see him again, swerve WIDE and keep running . . . and if he comes close, take note of his license plate number if feasible, put your finger on the trigger of your pepper spray, and call 911 -- all at once. :)

 

((((hugs))))

 

I run in similar areas, and I am sorry you are feeling uncomfortable running on your own road! I am 99% sure he was harmless, but, still, be safe . . .

[Catwoman]

I talked to a really nice police officer yesterday. He took my report and, like you all said, was glad that I called. He also said that he would let the night patrolmen know what had happened and they would stop this truck if they saw it and ask a few questions.

 

It occurred to me yesterday, that depending on where he "saw me running" he very well could know which house I live in....FREAKY!

 

I'm glad you reported it.

 

I hadn't thought about him knowing where you live until you mentioned it. :eek:

 

If you're really wondering if the guy sees you out running all the time, maybe you and your dh could take a few drives along your running route in the evening or on a weekend and look for the guy's truck in the driveways.

 

If he was truly just looking for a victim (and it wasn't specifically you,) he might not be from your area at all. "I see you out running all the time," could just be a line he uses to try to make women think he's a guy from the neighborhood, and thus is no one to fear.

 

Let's face it, if someone is out running, there's a good chance that she runs "all the time," so the guy's comment would have seemed credible even if it was just a wild guess. And if you'd said, "No, I've never run here before," he could simply say that there's another woman in the neighborhood who he sees out running all the time, and he assumed you were her.

[justLisa]

You know, it is crazy but I feel so much safer running in urban areas than rural. I have a favorite route downtown and favorite homeless people. One homeless man even calls me "Queen," so of course I have to wave and call him "Governor.":D then there is one woman who sleeps on front of a park I love, she always gets a couple of dollars from me...then my husband when he runs by. No homeless person has ever made me feel afraid. I have had a couple of moments with pick up trucks in rural area that scared the bejeebers out of me.

I found a dead homeless man once in my favorite park. I was on a long run and didn't carry my phone. It was very early in the morning but I found a couple walking and told them I needed them to call an ambulance and why. They said no. :001_huh: I told them that wasn't okay, so the man handed the phone to my sweaty self and when I dialed 911, he ended up talking to them because he had forgotten he had his Bluetooth on. The ambulance came, it looked like he'd had a heart attack. All of his homeless buddies came out from behind things, cried, told me his name was Dan. I left, ran a mile, came back and cried with them again. It was awful.

My long run was over, obviously so I ran the 3 miles back to the coffee shop to meet my husband, we always meet there. When I saw him, he was in an all out desperate sprint. He had run past the park because he knows I run through there and he checks on me, and saw the police tape. He was scared witless something had happened to me. I love him. I called my dad who was pastoring a church at the time and cried. He called a friend who preaches at the mission downtown and told him Dan had died and did he know him? They both cried. Dan touched a lot of people that day, I wish we could have found him sooner.

Thanks for allowing me to share that! It has been a while!

I think my point was that I feel safer urban, even though it isn't true and that normal looking old guys can be scary and sometimes won't let you use their phone!

 

That is so very sad.

 

I talked to a really nice police officer yesterday. He took my report and, like you all said, was glad that I called. He also said that he would let the night patrolmen know what had happened and they would stop this truck if they saw it and ask a few questions.

 

It occurred to me yesterday, that depending on where he "saw me running" he very well could know which house I live in....FREAKY!

 

I am glad you reported it. This has reminded me to be aware when I go out alone.

 

I once went on a long run. Longer than my husband thought and I did not take my phone. I ended up running to my parents house 7 miles out and then I got to chatting there. I had them drive me home and forgot to call him. He was completely freaked out. I felt so bad. He made me promise to never leave without my phone.

[livetoread]

I think one thing you could have done in the situation again (if he kept coming forward when you were backing up) is just say quite firmly, "Don't come any closer please", and hold your hand up in a stop gesture while you kept moving to keep a safe distance. Don't smile apologetically or anything, just say it - even dropping the please if you think it's warranted.

 

If he was just a clueless guy, he'd stop because then he'd know what he was supposed to be doing. If he didn't immediately stop, that would be bad. Of course, even bad guys might stop just to lure you, but at least by stopping him you are showing him you are assertive, and you are able to keep a distance. Then you can have a head start on running!

 

Sometimes guys forget how vulnerable they can make women feel because they almost never feel that vulnerable themselves. If they are just clueless, it helps to remind them. If they aren't, you have bigger troubles, but at least you showed you aren't going to be an easy target.

[fairfarmhand]

I'm glad you reported it.

 

I hadn't thought about him knowing where you live until you mentioned it. :eek:

 

If you're really wondering if the guy sees you out running all the time, maybe you and your dh could take a few drives along your running route in the evening or on a weekend and look for the guy's truck in the driveways.

 

 

I've recently began studying the vehicles in our neighbor's driveways.

 

If he was truly just looking for a victim (and it wasn't specifically you,) he might not be from your area at all. "I see you out running all the time," could just be a line he uses to try to make women think he's a guy from the neighborhood, and thus is no one to fear.

 

Let's face it, if someone is out running, there's a good chance that she runs "all the time," so the guy's comment would have seemed credible even if it was just a wild guess. And if you'd said, "No, I've never run here before," he could simply say that there's another woman in the neighborhood who he sees out running all the time, and he assumed you were her.

 

My dd was doing C25K in the mornings, but we've nixed that. No solo running. Which stinks because I HATE running with her.

[momma aimee]

Most likely he is just clueless.

 

But I would change my routine/path for awhile.

 

And if a strange man tries to slow you down to talk, cross away from him without a word and run like the wind.

 

ETA: I just saw your response wherein he repeatedly said he had seen you running before. Given that, I would find him creepier and I would NOT run that path alone again.

 

Please be careful.

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

 

he might just be clueless -- i can see my DN who is ASD doing that and meaning no harm, and not getting it at all -- even the repeated comment about seeing you running, he'd think it showed he was safe to you :001_huh:

 

but better safe than sorry. alter time and location of running -- take pepper spray

 

and yes, it would have freaked me out a lot.