Back-to-school day musings and our own Not-back-to-school day

[GoVanGogh]

We live in an area with hundreds of homeschoolers, plus numerous private schools that all follow their own schedule. People should really be used to seeing children out and about on any given day. :glare: We have homeschooled six years and always run into other homeschool families when we are out and about.

 

Anyway.

 

We celebrate "Not-back-to-school Day." The only tradition is breakfast at IHOP, followed by whatever fun we can think of doing that day.

 

So we walk into IHOP tihs morning and the hostess growled to DS, "Aren't you suppose to be in school today?"

I smiled and replied, "No."

She said, 'Why not? Public school started back this morning."

Still smiling, I said, "He doesn't attend public school."

She said, "Do you homeschool? Are you his teacher?"

I said, "Yes."

She said, "Ya gotta problem with public school?"

I said, "Yes."

She slammed our menus down on the table and walked off. :glare:

 

Needless to say, that will be our last Not-back-to-school day at IHOP.

Our sweet neighbors own a doughnut shop down the road so they will get our business from now on.

 

After that fiasco, we went to the driving range to hit some golf balls. I was still a bit unnerved by the IHOP hostess and nervous about being out in public...

 

We walk into the shop at the driving range. Guy behind the counter looks at DS and says, "Say, why aren't you in school today?"

DS said, "We homeschool and I have the day off."

The owner replied, "Ah... You are so lucky! So, is this recess or P.E.? Have a good school year and make sure you obey your teacher, ya hear?"

 

Later, we went to Barnes and Noble, then our community center to play pool. No one else mentioned that today was the first day back to school, thankfully!

 

 

So when did 'back-to-school' become such a huge issue?

DH and I both graduated from high school 25+ years ago. We were talking last night about all the hype surrounding this time of year lately.

It is all our local news outlets have covered this past week!

 

We joined a new church this past year and they had a big back-to-school pep rally yesterday. Had we known (had missed last two weeks), we would have skipped. They had the entire lobby full of elders, grabbing kids and talking to them about the importance of school. It was the strangest thing... And all of them started the conversation the same way, "You ready for school to start tomorrow?"

I heard so many children and parents say, "They attend (private school name) and started back last week."

I wonder if private school parents get tired of the questioning this time of year?

I know we can't go anywhere the few weeks before school starts that we aren't bombarded with questions... Are you ready for school? What grade are you going in?

We were at the grocery store last week and had more than six people ask us! It makes me want to hole up somewhere until September!

[LarlaB]

I don't know when it became such a big issue, but it is and I don't think it has anything to do w/ HS/traditional school...that's just another tangent. :)

 

The checkout people at Target, haircut place, dentist, Kohls, library etc.... have been asking my kiddos about school- its as if everyone is eager to see kids go back to school- LOL

 

Honestly, I think its a way to strike up a conversation. People are so chatty this time of year it seems....

 

(My kids are in traditional school this year, and we still get a million questions)

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't mind the chatty small talk kind of questions. I would definitely mind the exchange you had with the hostess - enough to ask to talk to the manager. How does she know that you aren't tourists/visitors whose public school doesn't start yet? The schools in our state don't start for another week.

[mom2scouts]

I wouldn't mind the guy at the driving range. He seemed to just be chatty and he was positive about homeschooling. The hostess at IHOP was rude though.

 

I think back-to-school is such a big deal for a number of reasons. Retailers expect to make more money, many parents look forward to free babysitting, people like to be back into a routine, and some people (maybe the IHOP hostess?) don't like children and are happy when they're not out in public during the day. Besides, people don't know what to say to kids if they can't ask them about school.

[GoVanGogh]

I wouldn't mind the guy at the driving range. He seemed to just be chatty and he was positive about homeschooling.

Oh, I didn't mind that guy at all. He was so positive. I needed that after our IHOP experience. We go to this driving range fairly often, but not enough to know the guy.

I really don't mind people chatting and asking why DS isn't in school or whatever. Just the back-to-school chat is so overwhelming this time of year! Seems like adults could find something else to chat about... Like the weather or football or politics. :lol:

 

How does she know that you aren't tourists/visitors whose public school doesn't start yet?

I know! We actually vacation once or twice a year during the traditional school year and seldom get questioned. It seems people assume you are on vacation. So why couldn't/shouldn't a kid be out in public today?!

We were warned when we went to Europe last year that they were not homeschool friendly so to be prepared to be asked. But we went in the fall when most of England was on holiday.... Our son fit right in with all the British kiddos running around. :D

 

I just got around to reading the paper a bit ago and they had a nice photo for all the 'back-to-school' articles. I figured it was a picture from last year, but the tagline said, "XYZ Academy started back to school several weeks ago."

I realize the majority of kids do go to public school and most of those schools started today, but so many go to private or charter schools. It's not like the public school system is the ONLY schedule. That is what drives me nuts. :tongue_smilie:

[NanceXToo]

We went to Friendly's for lunch and ice cream today. As the hostess was seating us she asked if we were celebrating anything special. I said no. My 6 y/o son piped up, "Yes we are! We're celebrating that we're homeschooled and we don't have to go to school!"

 

She said, "That sounds like a good thing to celebrate!"

 

I think I'd have been complaining to IHOP lady's boss about her unwarranted attitude!

[mandymom]

We went to Panera Bread this morning to celebrate "Not Back to School" and and the cashier rang us all up and then said, "I've got to ask, aren't they supposed to be in school already?" I told him that we homeschool, and he said "Cool." We have tons of homeschoolers in the area too, so I'm sure it's not the first time he's seen kids after school has started, esp since Panera Bread has free WiFi.

[wintermom]

I'm so used to having my dc with me that I forget others are not used to it. It just kinds of surprises me when people ask why the kids are not in school, while the other person is probably in the same boat wondering what these kids are doing there. (And there are times when I wish they weren't with me - like at the grocery store when I'm already tired!)

 

If I'm in the right mood, I try to be humourous. If I'm tired I just give a quick response. We are all used to being in our own little worlds, and it's sometimes hard when our little world bumps into someone else's the wrong way.

[Catwoman]

I think I'd have been complaining to IHOP lady's boss about her unwarranted attitude!

 

:iagree: :iagree: :iagree:

 

I wouldn't have tolerated her nastiness.

[Joshin]

Wow, just wow on the waitress. We've never experienced something like that, thankfully.

 

I've become pretty numb to the back to school chit chat. I agree, there is so much of it! I'm always dumbfounded when people ask my kids why they aren't in school. It just seems rude. I'm standing right there, I'm there mother, so it isn't like they're ditching or something and need the third degree. Plus, my quick-witted and somewhat mouthy 7 year old usually retorts with something like, "Why aren't YOU in school?" if I don't answer quickly enough.

[Night Elf]

If I hadn't have asked someone why their kids weren't in school, I would have never found out that homeschooling is for regular people and not the wealthy elite. 2 months after that encounter, I pulled my son from public school. Of course, I don't think I was rude, but I was very surprised and might have come across as rude. I really had no idea homeschooling was legal, let alone a real option. But yay for us that it was/is!

[Luckymama]

It's just what people say to kids at this time of year, like in the spring when they ask "Are you excited for summer? how many days of school do you have left?"

 

Just wait until you have a senior in high school. Every.single.person will ask about "their plans for next year." :rolleyes: Come on people, be original!

[NanceXToo]

If I hadn't have asked someone why their kids weren't in school, I would have never found out that homeschooling is for regular people and not the wealthy elite. 2 months after that encounter, I pulled my son from public school. Of course, I don't think I was rude, but I was very surprised and might have come across as rude. I really had no idea homeschooling was legal, let alone a real option. But yay for us that it was/is!

 

People ask my kids fairly regularly why they aren't in school when we go out somewhere mid-day. I'm never offended by the question. We answer truthfully. I'd only get offended if someone gave a nasty attitude afterward, but that's never happened to us before.

[Kelly1730]

It's just what people say to kids at this time of year, like in the spring when they ask "Are you excited for summer? how many days of school do you have left?"

 

Just wait until you have a senior in high school. Every.single.person will ask about "their plans for next year." :rolleyes: Come on people, be original!

 

 

:iagree: It's just that time of year. Like at Halloween, when we are asked what they are going to "be" for Halloween and we have to say that we don't do Halloween. And at Christmas, when they were younger, and asked what Santa Claus was going to bring them and we have to explain that we don't do Santa Claus either. So, I guess we just say that we don't "do" public school:tongue_smilie:.

[skeeterbug]

Here all the public schools (in the entire state) operate on the same schedule with 2-week breaks between terms. Private schools keep to a similar schedule though maybe not exactly the same weeks off but generally overlapping with the public schools. So we deal with this not just at the beginning of the year, but between all the school terms too. People asking if we are going away during the break, people asking what the kids are up to, if they are looking forward to holidays, etc. And I get just as many questions/comments..."Bet you can't wait for school holidays to be over." Because we all know how hard it is to have your kids at home all day for two weeks. :D

[Mom in High Heels]

And I get just as many questions/comments..."Bet you can't wait for school holidays to be over." Because we all know how hard it is to have your kids at home all day for two weeks. :D

 

Urgh, I get this all the time. How annoying. I didn't have kids so I could get rid of them all day.

 

We celebrated not going back to school yesterday too and on the economy (Germany) no one blinked an eye because their kids are still on summer break (this year their summer break is Aug 8-Sept 16) so it's not a big deal. We had to go back on post to stop by the commissary and almost every person in there asked why he wasn't in school. After about 10 people asked, Indy suggested every time we go out he should wear a shirt that reads "I'm homeschooled!"

 

OP, I'm sorry about the rude hostess. I'd have said something to her boss. It's none of her business what you do. Also, being a huge IHOP fan (I miss you IHOP!), I wouldn't give up on it. Their silver dollar pancakes make me so happy. Yum, yum, yum!

[Zebra]

Wow, the lady at IHOP was totally uncalled for!

 

I think, honestly, people are just excited for the kids to get back to school. I know I am. Life is much easier for us when most people are in school!

 

A couple of weeks ago a guy said to my dd, "Are you ready to go back to school?" And my daughter just looked at him and said, "Yep." I started giggling, because she's 9 years old and it struck me as funny. We started "school" weeks ago. When we left I said to her, "Why did you say that?" And she said, "I wish everyone would just mind their own business, I get tired of explaining homeschooling!" :lol:

 

Ah, being counterculture is fun, isn't it????!!!

[learningmama]

When ps started last week for our area, I needed to go to the grocery and took the kids. I warned them that someone may ask why they are not in school and practiced our responses. Sure enough, we were not even in the store yet and and an older grocery cart employee asked us as we went by, "Don't you have school today?" We gave our answer, and my dd looks at me and says, "Mom, you were right!" (about the people asking)

 

Where we used to live, people NEVER asked about school. Maybe because my children were slightly younger than they are now, but people here are more in your face about lots of things. In the past, if I ever saw a kid with their parent at the grocery during the school day, my first thought was- that kid must be sick today, stay away from them!

[marbel]

I think I might have been tempted to leave that IHOP without ordering. I doubt I would, because I would have been too stunned and wouldn't want to draw more negative attention.

 

We get asked occasionally but most people are pretty positive. If not positive, we get a noncommital "oh" or grunt or something which conveys displeasure but doesn't require a response. We call it "the homeschool snub" and I've even gotten it at church!

 

Public school is such a cultural icon in the US. "Back to school" is like a holiday time - special store displays, lots of hype.

[Mimm]

I've never had a negative reaction. Either people keep their opinions to themselves or they always say, "Oh, my sister/neighbor/woman I know at church does that." There are lots of homeschoolers in this area. I would contact IHOP as well.

[MiniBlondes]

I hear you. I love it when they say things like "I bet you can't wait for school to start!" or "Are you ready for a break, Mom?" Because you know, apparently it's unusual for me to actually enjoy spending time with my kids. Sure, I enjoy a break every now and again. Who doesn't? But my kids are awesome. Why would I send them away to let someone else enjoy that all day? :tongue_smilie:

[Kelly1730]

I hear you. I love it when they say things like "I bet you can't wait for school to start!" or "Are you ready for a break, Mom?" Because you know, apparently it's unusual for me to actually enjoy spending time with my kids. Sure, I enjoy a break every now and again. Who doesn't? But my kids are awesome. Why would I send them away to let someone else enjoy that all day? :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree: Love this!

[ravinlunachick]

We also live in an area with lots of homeschoolers, but for some reason, people often feel compelled to ask why dd isn't in school. We also are starting to get people asking why my youngest dd is not in preschool! For goodness sakes, she's only three years old! One lady yesterday asked the youngest herself if she went to preschool, and when dd replied, "Nope. I'm too little for school!" she came over and asked me why she would say that, when she could be in preschool. :001_huh:

 

I'm tired of it, so I've decided to tell my oldest that whenever anybody says, "Hey, why aren't you at school?" she is to reply, "It's not MY fault I have explosive diarrhea!"

 

That'll serve 'em. :lol:

[mom2one]

That was RUDE! I would have spoken to the manager. The waitress needs to mind her own business.

 

I had a similar experience at Staples last week. There is a woman (probably in her 50s) that works there. We go to Staples a lot and always try to go through her line because she's really friendly and has always been nice to us. Well, last week she of course mentioned school and my DD said, "I don't go to school. I'm homeschooled." This woman then went off on a tangent about how she can't believe how many people homeschool now days and how public school was good enough for her generation but moms of my generation (I'm in my 30s) seem to think it's not good enough for their kids.

 

I didn't know what to say, so I just mumbled about how it had nothing to do with the education, but that I didn't want my daughter to be exposed to values and beliefs that weren't in line with our families. Woah, that was a BIG mistake! I found out more about this woman's personal beliefs and preferences than I needed to know. It was SO uncomfortable and now I don't want to go to Staples at all!

[Jean in Newcastle]

I don't understand why we have to listen to employees give us their personal opinions on life and/or schooling when they are there in their official capacity. We came there to dine or shop, not to exchange ideas! I ran into this with one of our checkers and did talk to the manager because she * would * not * let * it * go. We only have two grocery stores here so and I prefer one over the other so I refused to let her run me off!

[Farrar]

My kids have been asked twice in the last two days about when they start school (public schools here started yesterday). Usually no one bats an eye at them. I think it must be having kids out and about when all of a sudden the kids went away. They stick out more somehow when there's been a sudden change like that.