Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 MIL just called. After comments about the weather, she announces to me that having RSD is a blessing. Cause I get paid and don't have to actually work :glare: I pointed out to her that I only worked afternoons (3-11 pm) so I was home w/the kids. She insisted that this was better. :glare: I told her I'd rather be working, pain free, and have full use of my arm. She actually got huffy w/me for that. Honestly. Does she actually *think* about these things before she spouts them off? Yeah, she does, b/c she told me she'd been thinking it for a while. *headdesk* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twigs Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Live2Ride Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 She's something that's for sure :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justLisa Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug: I'm sorry. Ugh. Craziness sucks Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 you know... I do my best, every day, to get through. To not allow RSD to destroy me, my family...to try and be the best mom and wife I can be, rather than let RSD rule everything, all the time. It's a battle. To hear someone say that it's better than WORKING makes me just want to rip their throats out. She has no freaking clue. NONE. And the only way she can be so flipping clueless is that she's just that self absorbed and doesn't listen to a da*n thing she's ever been told about RSD. Or, as I suspect, she doesn't really believe us, and sees it as just an excuse to get out of having to move her in and take care of her. Extemely insulted and angry right now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I'm sorry. Some MILs are just a burden. :grouphug: I could ask the same thing about whether my MIL thinks before she speaks to me, but I can tell she's "worked" on her nastiness for a long time and been sitting on it waiting to use it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Look on the bright side. At least your descendants haven't been contaminated by her DNA. Rosie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denisemomof4 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Look on the bright side. At least your descendants haven't been contaminated by her DNA. Rosie :smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5::smilielol5: TRUE!!!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Or, as I suspect, she doesn't really believe us, and sees it as just an excuse to get out of having to move her in and take care of her. :eek::scared: I cannot even begin to fathom such a thing! I can't remember, does Wolf have siblings? I've been told it's healthy to journal feelings like writing a letter to someone but I don't have the guts to put down on paper what is going on inside my head. I don't want anyone to be privy and what if someone sees the journal? Eeek! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Look on the bright side. At least your descendants haven't been contaminated by her DNA. Rosie This probably makes us sound awful, but we HAVE discussed that as a positive. :eek::scared: I cannot even begin to fathom such a thing! I can't remember, does Wolf have siblings? I've been told it's healthy to journal feelings like writing a letter to someone but I don't have the guts to put down on paper what is going on inside my head. I don't want anyone to be privy and what if someone sees the journal? Eeek! No, he was adopted and is the only child. Night Elf, she told me on my wedding day (I'm talking, just down the aisle from exchanging vows) "I'm so glad Wolf married you! Now I won't ever have to be in a nursing home!" He's so lucky I didn't run out into the night screaming ANNULEMENT!! She brings up moving in w/us still. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 No, he was adopted and is the only child. Night Elf, she told me on my wedding day (I'm talking, just down the aisle from exchanging vows) "I'm so glad Wolf married you! Now I won't ever have to be in a nursing home!" He's so lucky I didn't run out into the night screaming ANNULEMENT!! She brings up moving in w/us still. Oh my. What a scary thing to contemplate! Did you know of her craziness at that point, or is it something you learned as time went by? Has she always been this bad or is this something to do with age which means it might get even worse? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lisbeth Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug: Just say "Well bless your heart for your crazy ideas." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Oh my. What a scary thing to contemplate! Did you know of her craziness at that point, or is it something you learned as time went by? Has she always been this bad or is this something to do with age which means it might get even worse? Age seems to just allow her to be MORE of who she's always been. From the stories I've heard from her sibs and their spouses, yeah, she's always been narcisstic. And Wolf was raised being told that he owed her for adopting him, and that he was to live w/her and take care of her when she was elderly. I didn't meet MIL until about 10 days before our wedding. I knew she was...different...I mean, who asks a woman her weight and dress size as part of a 'getting to know you' first time ever convo?! Wolf warned me before I met her that she was 'like a poodle on speed'. The crazy really starting coming out in undeniable ways at the rehersal for the wedding...the wedding was a gong show of epic proportions w/MIL as the star... Our saving grace is that she lives in another province. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I should add that she was 75? when Wolf and I were married, so I haven't known her 'young'. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
amo_mea_filiis. Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug: Sometimes I'm glad to be single. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 UGH! :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ghee Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :eek::scared: I cannot even begin to fathom such a thing! I can't remember, does Wolf have siblings? I've been told it's healthy to journal feelings like writing a letter to someone but I don't have the guts to put down on paper what is going on inside my head. I don't want anyone to be privy and what if someone sees the journal? Eeek! I do journal letters. I type them on the notepad app on my phone. My phone is locked with a pin number, so I feel quite safe. I re-read them every so often and when I read one and it no longer bothers me, I know I've moved past it, and I delete that one. It's cathartic. I have to "get it out" but talking with either of our families (and sometimes my husband) can be worse than bottling it up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug: ah, as dh would say "some people's children". she may be "thinking", but her logic circut is defective. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kricau Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I say start checking into local nursing homes now LOL Especially ones that deal with the crazies :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 I say start checking into local nursing homes now LOL Especially ones that deal with the crazies :) She doesn't live in my province, so she's not eligible for a nursing home here. Thankfully, Wolf and I are on the same page...HE couldn't handle living w/her even less than I. Honestly, I just can't see our family surviving intact if she moved in. And, as I pointed out to him, *he* would get sole custody of her! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I suspect, she doesn't really believe us, and sees it as just an excuse to get out of having to move her in and take care of her. Extemely insulted and angry right now. hey -whatever works to keep her in another province. ;) remember her opinion isn't worth the paper it's printed on. you could always "agree" with her that "yes, it's all just a plot to keep her out of your house because she's such an insufferable bore, who'd ever want to live with her?". I told my mil (she *was* living with us for a year.:glare:) once how glad I was to meet her need to complain and she went on a rant for a good 30 minutes about how she didn't like to complain. it was actually entertaining. Her "favorite" granddaughter by her "favorite" daughter just married in another state for the express purpose that grandmother couldn't come to fgd's wedding (and every time mil tried, she was shut down). mil went on quite the rant to fgd's fiance and told him that he was a horrible person and fgd should give him his ring back. dh and I told him coming from her, take it as a compliment and a hearty welcome to the family. (and to think she's slowing down at 87 . . . . ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 I don't think there's really any good reasons to continue conversing with her. I've seen a lot of your posts about her, and she frustrates you to no end, as she would me. She's not a kind, loving, or sane person. There is something wrong with her, and deciding for your health and the health of your family not to have conversations anymore seems like a very wise choice!!! If your husband insists on staying in contact with her, let him be the voice for all of you. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 Normally, that's what happens. I duck her calls, and Wolf deals w/her. Last night, Wolf went out of town, and Diva answered the phone, rather than letting it go to vm :glare: I was kinda stuck, esp since I was out w/the puppy and didn't know the phone even rang, so MIL heard me. No way to duck her then. After her 'delightful' comments, the convo ended quickly. She was huffy, I was ticked, and refused to play her game. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FiveOaksAcademy Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 Normally, that's what happens. I duck her calls, and Wolf deals w/her. Last night, Wolf went out of town, and Diva answered the phone, rather than letting it go to vm :glare: I was kinda stuck, esp since I was out w/the puppy and didn't know the phone even rang, so MIL heard me. No way to duck her then. After her 'delightful' comments, the convo ended quickly. She was huffy, I was ticked, and refused to play her game. :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hthnmamax2 Posted July 21, 2012 Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You have my total sympathy. After my first son was born and I brought him home from the hospital, the In-Laws were there and comments were made that he looks just like me. Then MIL pipes up and says, "Well, at least we can be sure of who the mother is." :glare: If my FIL hadn't decided at that point that it was time to go, I'd probably be in jail. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted July 21, 2012 Author Share Posted July 21, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: You have my total sympathy. After my first son was born and I brought him home from the hospital, the In-Laws were there and comments were made that he looks just like me. Then MIL pipes up and says, "Well, at least we can be sure of who the mother is." :glare: If my FIL hadn't decided at that point that it was time to go, I'd probably be in jail. :D I got questioned about Tazzie being a blue eyed blonde, when Wolf resembles his First Nations heritage. Pointing out that while his bmother was First Nations, his bfather was Swedish/Norwegian and a blue eyed blonde didn't seem to sink in. :glare: Now, it wasn't MIL doing the questioning, it was her sister...but it sounded like she'd been coached, since she barely glanced at Tazzie before she started in, and MIL sat there smirking. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rosie_0801 Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 This probably makes us sound awful, but we HAVE discussed that as a positive No it doesn't. Not your fault it's true. *shrug* :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Delirium Posted July 22, 2012 Share Posted July 22, 2012 *hugs* Some people don't really think about what they say, especially when the pain isn't always visible. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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