Anybody else have kids that are not advanced but just "average"?

[Aspasia]

Rough assessments such as gifted, special needs (technically, gifted kids ARE special needs) and neurotypical, or average, tend to be terrifically misunderstood and misinterpreted.

 

You can be gifted academically in the clinical sense, yet still fail to achieve, due to personal and/or environmental and/or medical factors. An 'average' student can be extraordinarily successful or a failure or anywhere in between, thanks to those same factors, and those same factors can influence the outcome for a pencil needs kid; biology is not destiny, but it is a starting point.

 

Part of the problem is that too many parents mistake working above grade level as 'giftedness' when in some cases it may be nothing more than pushy parenting (and I have tutored all too many kids who got to college with reams of honors and AP courses... But didn't know a thing, because they were forced up nd away from academically appropriate courses where they might have actually learned solid, college prep fundamentals). With true giftedness, the kids do the pushing, and careful parents make sure they don't get sloppy and skip critical steps, or get stifled by being artificially held back; parents of gifted kids request help as much as parents of other special needs kids because it is just as hard.

 

Gifted is not how early you study calculus; it is the driving need to do it, not spurred on by the parents. Gifted kids need more stuff the way normal kids need food and water. Not fed properly, it can be a ticket to disaster, an invitation to coast instead of work. Fed properly, the gifted student's mind can be fun to work with and watch succeed.

 

Many an average kid has taken top honors in law school or medical school thanks to an excellent fundamental education, excellent study skills, and a top work ethic. An 'average' or typical kid, working at grade level is bright, can be engaged, enthusiastic, and successful, with nothing to apologize for.

 

Many a special needs student has put the rest to shame by demonstrating an understanding of how to work and discover one's own unique potential, or to double down and overcome challenges.

 

I hear the OP. sometimes it does sound like a contest around here. Sometimes people are misunderstood, because this is a message forum, and it is hard to get that there is a matter-of-fact tone, not a bragging tone being used. Sometimes there is a bragging tone being used. It's hard to tell. But designations like gifted are not fictitious, or irrelevant to homeschoolers; it is a different brain structure. It is not a better brain structure. It is just different, and as SN kids, sometimes a challenge to deal with. But the average kids are just as worthy, and on average will achieve just as much in the long run, along with a subset of SN kids not in the gifted realm as the gifted kids will, because f the other factors at work. And yes, they are all precious. And there are plenty around... That is why they are the typical kids :).

 

From tutoring I can tell you... I wish more kids stuck with work on grade level instead of forging ahead. It would serve them far better to master the fundamentals and arrive at college solidly prepared, than to pile up an impressive transcript representing very shallow knowledge because it was always slightly beyond them. If your kids are working at grade level and they are not gifted, they are doing exactly what they should be doing.

 

Such a good post!

 

I actually don't have a problem with the labels, but I do find the way most parents talk about their "gifted" children to be pretty amusing. Specifically, it seems like 90% of parents (not just homeschoolers, but yeah, homeschoolers included) talk about their kids as gifted or advanced. Seems to me if 90% are "advanced", maybe they're all actually average. I certainly acknowledge that giftedness and advanced students exist, but I think that most students don't fit the bill (and by definition, they really can't). For this reason, I have always been, and likely will continue to be, hesitant to ever use those terms to describe my kids. The beauty of homeschooling is that I won't need to use those terms--I can just move at whatever pace suits their abilities.

 

FWIW, I'm not a bitter former "average" student. I was definitely one of the kids labeled by the public school system as "gifted" and put into all the accelerated programs and classes. But in all honesty, the label was never all that helpful. It just made me disappointed when I became an "average" adult. :lol:

[Lizzie in Ma]

Very average kids...some of whom have done extraordinary things.:D

 

My kids are smart....but not all of them are academic.

 

Well put! Mine too. Both my girls are smart but not advanced per se.

They have strengths and weaknesses academically.

But I am very proud of who they are and what they have accomplished thus far.

[stripe]

Specifically, it seems like 90% of parents (not just homeschoolers, but yeah, homeschoolers included) talk about their kids as gifted or advanced.

I have the same feeling. I also believe that a big predictor of academic "success'/"achievement" (whatever those mean to you) involve hard work. So whether a kid, including mine, is smart, is less interesting to me than how hard the kid works. I want my kids to be curious and hard-working.

[Susie in MS]

Keeping it simple here! Just average.

 

My dd and I would crumple and die doing all I see some list here.

Edited May 12, 2012 by Susie in MS

[Meriwether]

I have the same feeling. I also believe that a big predictor of academic "success'/"achievement" (whatever those mean to you) involve hard work. So whether a kid, including mine, is smart, is less interesting to me than how hard the kid works. I want my kids to be curious and hard-working.

 

I agree with this in general. I am not trying to start an argument. See my nice happy face:001_smile:. The problem I have with Jen's post is that she describes just three groups of kids. I have all "average" kids meaning nuerotypical. When I talk about my oldest, stress that she is not gifted. Because she is not. She is also not your average nuerotypical child. She is quick and bright and working above grade level - because she is capable, not because I am pushy. She is beautiful, smart, fun, nice, self-motivated (she self-taught much of her school when she was 7). The world is her oyster. My job is to make sure she learns to work hard, work well, and work with purpose. My other three kids seem much more average. They are all wonderful. I need to go get the baby but wanted to address the past couple of posts so I'll be back.

 

 

ETA: In response to Lizzie in Ma and Stripe - My SIL taught K when she first started teaching. She said that almost every parent asked how their kid was doing (compared to others) during parent/teacher conferences. She would tell them that their kid was right where they needed to be. In other words, their kid was average. It isn't a homeschool thing to think of your child as advanced. It is a parent thing (of course, a kid in public school finds their place in the pecking order sooner rather than later). The thing is, kids are amazing. They are born soft, squishy, lovable little bundles. In an amazingly short amount of time - even for kids who lag a bit - they are walking, talking, playing and exploring their world. When a child, who was a just a baby such a short time ago, starts school and learns to read and do some math, it is amazing. It is. I think parents need to be aware of what they should be doing with kids. They should teach kids to work hard at whatever level they are at. But an average child doing average work is perfectly wonderful.

Edited May 12, 2012 by Meriwether

[Christie_Jarrard]

My oldest is advanced, always has been, but my younger two are average. At least I think they are, they're only 1 and 2:tongue_smilie:. My oldest had 25 words by age 1 and was speaking in 6+ word sentences at 18 months. My middle maybe had 10 words at 18 months, but he is pretty on par for a 2 year old, and my baby can only say mama and dada. This is just one of many examples. I enjoy my average kids, my oldest is EXHAUSTING, he is always either taking something apart or asking seventeen billion questions about everything from dinosaurs to civil rights. My other two are just content to read, play and cuddle :001_smile:.

[Christie_Jarrard]

And I should add, I think my middle will be easier to teach because he is far less perfectionistic than my older one. Because everything comes so naturally to Asher, he freaks out when he can't be perfect at something right away. He also always has a "better" way to do everything. Jax keeps plugging away, trying to figure things out.

[sweetpea3829]

I'm pretty sure my Littles will fall right on the average range. Which means we have one that's taking a lot longer to learn things, one that I can't keep in curriculum because he blows right through it, and two that fall on the average range.

 

Sounds about right...lol.

[NittanyJen]

I agree with this in general. I am not trying to start an argument. See my nice happy face:001_smile:. The problem I have with Jen's post is that she describes just three groups of kids. I have all "average" kids meaning nuerotypical. When I talk about my oldest, stress that she is not gifted. Because she is not. She is also not your average nuerotypical child. She is quick and bright and working above grade level - because she is capable, not because I am pushy. She is beautiful, smart, fun, nice, self-motivated (she self-taught much of her school when she was 7). The world is her oyster. My job is to make sure she learns to work hard, work well, and work with purpose. My other three kids seem much more average. They are all wonderful. I need to go get the baby but wanted to address the past couple of posts so I'll be back. QUOTE]

 

 

There will always be a problem with the arbitrariness of any type of line drawing; I think we can agree on that. Please note that I was very careful to write that in ANY description of general capabilities, there are influences besides the innate academic capacity at work that complicate the picture: how hard the student works, academic environment, other environmental factors, medical issues, and so forth. This clearly points out already that there are more than just "three types" of kids. The generalization I was making in the three categories is the basic one regarding general, baseline, brain structure, the starting point. I think we both agree that what you do with what you are given is at least as important in life as what you are given-- the student who works hard and effectively will succeed over one who has talent and never applies it; a student in tough circumstances has to overcome one who has ideal circumstances. Students who have medical or other complications have to overcome those challenges, but can still succeed if the other factors come into play. It is a complicated, not a straightforward picture.

 

The important thing is not to "label" your child, but to understand your child. Disregarding information is unwise. My 8YO has an extremely high IQ. I am not "proud" of this; it is a fact I must contend with, as it shapes how he views the world and interacts with his schoolwork and with other people. He also has a genetic disorder that affect his speech, muscle tone, memory, executive function, and other issues (to the point that his PS thought he needed all remedial work-- but the high IQ masked the fact that he needed actual services, because he did well enough "to get by"). By personality trait, he views his challenges as meaning, "I had better work twice as hard as everyone else, since some things are more difficult for me." Now that I understand my child, I know better how to feed him and his needs-- I know now how to untangle the things that can hold him back-- dysgraphia, executive function, audio processing-- from the things that he is dying to do-- learn more information, make connections logically even though chronologically he is grammar stage-- with the need to provide a fundamentally sound education-- he is playing with algebraic concepts with great facility, but I will not let him skip learning his basic math facts, just because he thinks they are boring. We have to make time for both facets of math for him. We work on the physical act of writing, on listening, and on memory as separate issues. Does that make sense?

 

In psych terms, there are basically "three ranges" (with a few sub-distinctions" in terms of basic IQ ranges-- high, average, and below average. I think we can all agree that the bigger picture is more complicated than that without too much fuss, but it does not diminish the fact that that is one factor affecting how our kids function, and there is a difference in how kids in the different ranges seem to work. I do reiterate that I do not believe that a kid in one range is any better or more or less valuable than a kid in any other range. I do roll my eyes at times at the "Lake Woebegone Effect" I hear everywhere where "all kids are above average." :).

 

I do think parents need to watch what they say and how they talk, among other parents and around other kids. Words have power. The "Average" kids need to know that they are doing great, and are the "norm," not somehow disappointing by what they overhear adults discussing. And kids do hear it if you say it. And as the mom of a kid who "doesn't hit all the milestones" in some areas, yes, I also feel the pain of moms who have sometimes been quietly frustrated and jealous of "average" kids for just being normal-- I never had a kid who walked before 14 months (try one who didn't walk until 23 months, and didn't talk until 25 months). I won't reveal all of the later milestones out of respect for my son, but trust me, it isn't always easy to even watch a 2YO cruise past my almost 9YO going down the stairs or throw a ball farther than he can, or even sit and drink from a cup non-awkwardly. So sometimes even hearing parents discuss their kids "normal" achievements can be painful. But I get it. All of our kids are unique and precious. I think that is what the OP was saying. I am very proud of both of my boys, of who they are, and who I think they are growing up to be. And I do find the basic IQ distinctions to be a useful metric, not for "Mommy pride," but for basic understanding of ONE aspect of how they learn and how to best help them.

 

It is a complicated, not one-dimensional, picture, and it would be, I think, misguided to toss out an important dimension. If you understand a part of your kid, then you understand a part of how they might learn best to set them up for success-- and I think that is what we are all about. Success will be different for each child, and the more we know our kids, the more we will understand how our kids will define success for themselves and we can help them get there.

[MrsBear]

I really think the whole, "advanced," "average," "behind" thing is a product of the educational system many of us were trying to get away from when we decided to homeschool. Who says a child is average, advanced, or behind? My daughter would be considered 3rd grade and reads at a grade level way beyond that. But I don't see that as necessarily being advanced. In fact, that seems to be the norm. It is kind of amusing to me to see all of the threads that start out, "I need help finding ______ for my advanced dd." Just seems like a strange way to label children to me. Each child is so unique, and they are where they are. They may have struggles in certain areas, but that doesn't mean they are behind. My ds is not a strong reader, but he knows way more about world history and animal science than most adults. Does that make him behind? Average? Neither! It makes him "HIM." Love that about home education! :)

 

On one level I agree with you, but on another I don't.

 

I think having some measure of what is average for a particular age/grade is important so that you can figure out if your child is on target for where they should be at a given point in time. Of course each child is unique - some are advanced, some are pacing along in a track or progress most would call average, and some are decidedly behind schedule....the child behind is no less worthy, but knowing it helps the parent (or teacher if in school) to work with the child in their areas of weakness.

 

A child who isn't progressing at the same rate as another doesn't always have a learning disability, nor do those with learning disabilities always track behind peers - but if one doesn't know what normal/average is, those with learning disabilities and/or struggles are harder to recognize and help! And the same holds true on the other end of the spectrum - children who are advanced often need special considerations, challenges, etc. to meet their needs, which are sometimes the same as the child who is behind!

 

My DS is pretty average in some areas (reading) and off the charts advanced in others (math, science) - I can't treat him as I would if he were consistent across all subjects, but have to tailor his curriculum to meet him where he is, especially for the areas he's advanced - I can't expect him to have the same level of output as a 4th grader for math or science, but also can't stick with his grade level materials in those areas since they bore him to death, ykwim? Because his reading is just on grade, average, I can't just give him a higher grade science book to read on his own, so I read to him the more difficult material and he gets it, but if I were to expect him to do it at the level he retains and understands, he'd be toast by the challenge doing that would present for the reading and/or output writing required.

[Element]

I haven't read all of the replies, but my kids work at a pretty average level. My eldest has a fsiq that puts him at the bottom of the HG range, but he is totally happy to plod right along at grade level. He is actually working about a year behind in WWE and almost a semester behind in Singapore PM. He doesn't really struggle with anything, but he doesn't want to work ahead. I often wonder when/if we will see the "giftedness" come out. For now, anyway, I think I can say he is academically average. He's pretty g/t with Legos, I guess. :D

[PentecostalMom]

Mine, mine! :D

[mytwomonkeys]

my kids are academically average but superiorly awesome just the same.:D

[mytwomonkeys]

Just curious. I see SO many super advanced kids! (2nd and 3rd graders doing what my 8th grader is doing) Just wondering how many others have 'average' children (meaning academics ofcourse ;))

 

 

*sometimes* i think the parents are also calling their kids gifted when they may not be. academically advanced doesn't always mean gifted. for example, if you work with your toddler a lot, obviously by kindergarten they will most likely be academically advanced compared to PS peers. that doesn't make them gifted though, just ahead for a time.

[gracyomalley]

Very interesting post. I have 3 kids, all of whom test in the "above average" range on standardize testing (2 technically gifted and one not fully tested yet). They are also all very short. Both traits are genetic in our family - no great acheivement, just came with the package. Nothing to brag about.

 

One child can play the violin like nobody's business. He gravitated to classical music as a toddler, CHOOSING to listen to full symphonies on his own. He practices 2-5 hours a day by choice. He has a musical gift. His siblings also play at a level "advanced for their age". They also know much more about music than "average" kids their age. They do so because they have been exposed and taught and learned they can't get away without some practice...this is "nurture", and a product of our homeschool environment.

 

All three kids do gymnastics, all compete. One is driven to push herself far beyond the others, and has already acheived more in that area than the other 2...and she didn't walk until 17 months, then hit a lot of walls...atheletically gifted? Or capable and driven to work hard?

 

As a pediatrician I have watched many babies grow from infancy to high school level now...and its interesting which one's appeared "bright" from the beginning - some are schoolwork "rock stars" and others not at all...and honestly each kid seems to show a unique self and unique gifts from the get go...even those with significant challenges!

 

As homeschool parents we really should be offering our children a richer environment than the average PS...with more one on one attention. We should be able to find the "islands of excellence" as they say in learning disorder circles even in our "below average" academic acheivers. Our kids have the opportunity to learn to work hard without feeling like they are "behind so I'm stupid" or "ahead so I'll just slide because I'm so smart"...and in general, that's why homeschool kids DO, on average, significantly out-test PS kids - that, and the fact that many academically gifted kids are being HS these days.

 

This is not to say that teaching kids with different needs, including "gifted", is not a challenge - it is, and each kid is different.

 

But just as Suzuki proved that almost any child can learn to play music well (but not masterfully), kids being taught by the parents on this board, are, in general, getting an environment that is so rich in learning, they will "seem" advanced....and if they also work hard and set goals and are diligent and love what they do - hopefully they will succeed at it....but they will need both the environment and the work - no matter what their inborn gifts are!

 

So are they all mostly average...well, mathematically speaking, of course not, and each one not in all areas. Are they all geniuses...of course not!

Erin

[Lab1]

I'm not sure. I think they are average and smart. They have never been to any school to compare them to peers. They know more then I did at their ages (I was a very good student), but I think that is from the one on one attention they get. And all the free time to pursue their interests.

 

One child is like me and loves to read science books for fun. My other child is very artistically inclined. I'm not, so they take art classes and love them. Everyone keeps telling me how smart my 3 yr old is, but he's doing exactly what his sisters did at that age. I think they were doing more as I had more time for them.

[iafrmgrl77]

On one level I agree with you, but on another I don't.

 

Totally okay to disagree! It would be really boring if we all thought the same thing. We just need to be nice in the process! :)

 

I pretty much agree with everything you said. I think we are just thinking about the same terms from different standpoints. We all obviously have to figure out where our children are at in order to give them what they need; I just don't think of my children in terms of "average," "gifted," or otherwise. Don't like the terms; don't use 'em.

 

I was one of those students labeled "gifted" in school, and looking back, I can see that I was just a good test taker, and a bit of a teacher's pet! :) I received more of a CM education in my gifted classes and thrived in that environment. Had the "average" children received that same education, they probably would have become "gifted," as well. In our home, I have one child that would be labeled "gifted" by the schools and one that would definitely be labeled "average" or below. Funny thing is, I don't treat ds as below average, and he doesn't perform as such. He just works extra hard and is extra excited about his accomplishments.

 

Again, I totally get what you are saying about determining where your children are at so that you can give them what they need. I just don't use labels to do it. I see where they are at as where they are at, plain and simple. No child is average, IMVHO. :)

[nmoira]

I was one of those students labeled "gifted" in school, and looking back, I can see that I was just a good test taker, and a bit of a teacher's pet! :) I received more of a CM education in my gifted classes and thrived in that environment. Had the "average" children received that same education, they probably would have become "gifted," as well

There is some evidence to suggest that moderately gifted students will thrive in just such an enriched "regular" classroom (i.e. with high expectations), and that overall student performance will improve as well. Most TAG identified students are moderately gifted. So, while such classrooms are few and far between, such a model would suit the vast majority for students. However, the needs of HG/EG/PG kids can be more problematic in such areas as academic differentiation, finding peers, and obtaining emotional support and counseling.

[Alyeska]

Yep. Two academically average students. : )

 

Dd is an excellent reader and struggles in math.

 

Ds is excellent in math and struggles with reading. :lol:

 

We are on grade level for everything with the exception of the areas of struggle. And I am cool with that. :)

[stripe]

ETA: In response to Lizzie in Ma and Stripe - My SIL taught K when she first started teaching. She said that almost every parent asked how their kid was doing (compared to others) during parent/teacher conferences. She would tell them that their kid was right where they needed to be. In other words, their kid was average. It isn't a homeschool thing to think of your child as advanced. It is a parent thing (of course, a kid in public school finds their place in the pecking order sooner rather than later). The thing is, kids are amazing. They are born soft, squishy, lovable little bundles. In an amazingly short amount of time - even for kids who lag a bit - they are walking, talking, playing and exploring their world. When a child, who was a just a baby such a short time ago, starts school and learns to read and do some math, it is amazing. It is. I think parents need to be aware of what they should be doing with kids. They should teach kids to work hard at whatever level they are at. But an average child doing average work is perfectly wonderful.

I completely agree with both of your points here. I think the wonder of child development is probably also less understood because so many people aren't around many babies or small kids besides their own. Many new parents nowadays, apparently, haven't changed a diaper until their own child is born.

 

I also remember reading something by some child doctor guru type (Dr Spock? Dr Sears? Not sure) that parents used to be horribly anxious that their children weren't behind. Being average was great! Now, average is dreaded.

[Bear23]

My trio are perfectly average :D

[momtoamiracle]

:iagree:

 

Where your kids "are" depends on who you are comparing them to.

 

If I compare my kids to the ones on this board then they are very average or even behind :001_smile:

 

If I compare them to the children in PS in our very low socio economic community -they are advanced or even gifted.

 

If I told everyone on TWTM that my 4yo can read I'd get a hundred replies from people saying their 2-3 yo can read and that 4 is very average for learning that skill.

 

When people in our local community find out he can read they are wowed and peg him as a little genius because that is not the norm here at all.

 

When I took my DD for her 4yo "school ready" health check the eye specialist was amazed because she could read the letters on the eye chart -she normally uses a different test for kids under 5 because "normally" they don't know all the letters of the alphabet yet. I wonder what she will say when my DS goes this year and he can read :001_smile:

 

One of the main reasons we homeschool is because my kids are way too advanced in the skills taught at grade level in our local PS. However when I read what kids are doing on this board I feel my kids are very, very average.:001_huh:

 

same here! People are amazed my 5 yo can count past 100, can add some two digit numbers, read signs in the library, can read the directions on his math sheet, can arrange words to make a complete sentence, and knows who Helen Keller, and Harriet Tubman are. He's far ahead of what he'd be doing in public kindergarten where I live. But here it would be no big deal. I really don't know if my child is advanced or not! Not that it matters to me, it's when people start talking about it I have no idea, I just know my son is who he is and he does what he does.

[Stillwood]

Or perhaps I'm the one struggling. All three DD's straight 4.0 through homeschool & College. DS's gpa a 2 on a good day. He doesn't know a lot about his sisters' grades, so he isn't feeling inferior. We know that all kids are different. DS.... he'll hide so he doesn't have to do school. Hates reading, hates handwriting, hates school. He's 15 1/2 and doesn't get the 'point' of having an education. Of course, he's a wiz at computers; even built one for the family. He's finishing up a VERY EASY 8th grade year and is still Saxon 76 math. One day he'll get every thing correct, the very next he'll get them all wrong. I'm saying, literally, that he'll ace a concept and the test and if I give him the same test the next day he can get most of them wrong.

 

Maybe this is normal. His dad hated school & was a horrible student throughout all school,landed at the bottom of his MBA classes yet is a successful Administrator of a chain of hospitals. Dad has an extremely high IQ. Go figure.

 

Can a teen have a high IQ, yet bomb all of his classes?

[iafrmgrl77]

Can a teen have a high IQ, yet bomb all of his classes?

 

Definitely!! I know more than one person with genius IQ who failed miserably in school. I think they really do wonder, "What's the point?" sometimes. Don't be discouraged!! Kudos to you for sticking by his side! What a great mom he has!

[JenMama]

My oldest is an 11 year old 6th grader who struggles. She still doesn't have her multiplication tables memorized. She doesn't always capitalize and punctuate. My little one is an 8 year old 2nd grader that flies through everything. They're all different. :)

[kalanamak]

:seeya: I have a standard US issue boy. He is more athletic than average and has runner's build, and has an amazing memory for tunes (when he was 2 he looked up at me at a store and squealed BACH when a concerto came on), but academically he is a wee bit ahead with this and wee bit behind with that.

[kalanamak]

Each child is so unique, and they are where they are.

 

I understand your sentiment, but.....

 

Yes each is unique, and for some being what they are means being statistically advanced. I don't think the parents of LD or bright or gifted children are sticking stickers on them and proclaiming it to the world -- they are trying to find school material that fits those unique children.

 

I have my son in size 3 shoes. Is labeling him a size three a product of the shoe industry?

[kalanamak]

*sometimes* i think the parents are also calling their kids gifted when they may not be. academically advanced doesn't always mean gifted. for example, if you work with your toddler a lot, obviously by kindergarten they will most likely be academically advanced compared to PS peers. that doesn't make them gifted though, just ahead for a time.

 

Yes, "gifted" is the new bright. (Not for all!! No tomatoes!! There are kids who have broad and narrow "gifts".)

[Mommy2Many]

I was a genius as a child - several grade levels ahead in everything but social skills. Early admit for medical school. I nearly lost my mind, I'm a psychiatric nurse now, and I love it. It's not academically challenging, but it uses other skills. I'm still usually the smartest in the room (academically), and I have very stimulating discussions with friends who are professors in genetics, mathematics, and chemistry - but socially I'm more adept at not sticking out now.

 

My 17 year old is about to start nursing school. He's advanced math sci, average social studies, low average English.

 

My 15 year old is athletically gifted and academically challenged. She has good work ethic, though, so we manage.

 

My 8 year old read early and has strong math skills, but he is LAZY - so academically it works out to about average.

 

My 6 year old is my mini me. He is an Aspie. He was developmentally delayed, walked at 2 1/2, talked at 3 1/2, read at 4. He does math with the 8 year old. He plays soccer with the 15 year old. The only difference in the education he is getting vs. the one that I got is that while I won't hold him back from learning about things he is interested in, I will not let him graduate at 13. We will go for breadth and depth instead of speed and let his interests, instead of an advanced curriculum, decide what we do - and if he ends up 'average' as an adult - and happy, then I will be THRILLED.

 

Happy, well adjusted, sociable children with a well rounded education and the ability to investigate their own interests is what I'm shooting for. :001_smile:

[WIS0320]

My oldest appears to be an average learner yet a fun kid who is a hard worker. She's great, super kind and just an all around pleasant child to be around. I do agree that I see a lot of very advanced math siggys on the K-8 board! Wow. :)

[KrissiK]

Mine are all on grade level. They don't seem to struggle particularly, but they aren't advanced. None really like school, but they do it because they have to. They'd all rather play. They all seem to be average.

[magnificent_baby]

.

[jujsky]

One is average, one is advanced.

[magnificent_baby]

Definitely!! I know more than one person with genius IQ who failed miserably in school. I think they really do wonder, "What's the point?" sometimes. Don't be discouraged!! Kudos to you for sticking by his side! What a great mom he has!

 

While no one wants to be labeled, this is one reason why identification is important. This is why I respectfully disagree with your first post.

[Girl Power]

All average here:001_smile:

 

Beck

[barbarajon]

My only dear son, who is also average in academics but he is very brilliant in other activities and his sense of humor is also good.

[Colleen in SEVA]

I have five sons, and as far as academics go...

 

I have 1 son who is completely average across the board. He is using traditional materials at the intended level. He will do whatever schoolwork I ask of him, and rarely struggles.

 

I have 1 son who is gifted (confirmed with testing scores that qualify him for Davidson Young Scholars - above 99.99th percentile in IQ and achievement), and fits the "out-of-the-box-head-in-the-clouds" stereotype of gifted kids. None of the standard homeschool curriculum works for this child. I have no idea how to teach this child most days. He struggles in a lot of areas, both academically and otherwise.

 

I have 1 son who is accelerated across the board, but not gifted. He is using traditional learning materials, but several grades ahead. He thinks & learns just like I do, and is a joy to teach. He works hard, and struggles a little, but takes pride in working ahead and asks to continue to do so.

 

I have 1 son who would probably be considered gifted on certain tests, but his gifts are not easily measured on academic tests (meaning -- high IQ, but low achievement, he'll make an EXCELLENT engineer one day LOL). This son is JUST LIKE my husband was at that age (when DH was tested in school, he qualified for special ed AND the gifted program; his teacher didn't know what to do with those numbers so she had him repeat a grade instead of doing either program).

 

I have 1 son who is just getting started with school stuff, but so far is following the pattern of my "average" son mentioned first.

 

All of my boys started with the same gene pool, have been exposed to the same opportunities, have homeschooled since day 1, and are "normal" in every way outside of school work (ie no extreme gifts in sports, art, music, etc).

 

ETA: I keep all of my kids with their age mates for outside activities, so I don't think anyone who knows us IRL knows any of the above information. We are very lucky to have found an inclusive co-op group that lists ranges of ages for their classes, and there are a large number of kids who are gifted, 2e, LD, whatever, because of that. None of my kids views himself as anything other than normal, except I have explained to my accelerated kid that he shouldn't mention what level math he is working at to other people, because most people are only looking to compare, and we don't play that game.

Edited June 4, 2012 by Colleen in SEVA

[ClassicalTwins]

Mine are average. We had to fix alot of broken hearts & minds after we pulled them out of school and although 3 yrs later, some of those issues still come up.

 

However, I think they trade brains from time to time, because one day one is flying along the other looks :001_huh:...then the next, it's the other way around! :D

[ukfan78]

My son is very smart, but doesn't like school. So I consider him average. He could accelerate if he wanted to, but he has no interest. He would rather be making animations or games on the computer :)