Seriously messed up (yes, another Pearl thread)

[pfamilygal]

Have y'all read this: http://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/the-power-of-a-story/

 

That is seriously screwed up. I cannot imagine waking every day, knowing I was going to be hit with a switch or plumbing line, over a lie I had told AT AGE 5.

 

And she told the lie to avoid the switch/plumbing line.

 

I can so see Jesus doing this - EXCEPT NOT AT ALL!!!!

[StaceyinLA]

But I can only imagine. Those people make me physically ILL.

[pfamilygal]

How screwed up is your family if your kid would rather make up a story about a stranger in your home than 'fess up? My kids do not fear me like that.

[Scuff]

While I agree that it's excessive to spank the child every day for 2 weeks, (I probably would have let the punishment slide since she told the truth in the end.) I don't think it's any indication of homelife or screwed-up-ness that the child lies. Some kids can be very deceitful and it has nothing to do with their parents.

[Mommyfaithe]

Oh GEE!!! I can't even read it....the thought makes me sick, but not surprised. We are surrounded here by many Pearl people....and it is THEIR kids who drive down the road, put on their make-up and go out to party.....

 

My kids...they get dressed at home. :D

 

Faithe

[Mrs Mungo]

The craziest part of the whole thing?

 

“Mama, did you ever do anything deceitful when you were a little girl?†I had thought it through, so I was ready with a story of deceitfulness and truth. “Well, I remember once when we were little girls Shoshanna was very deceitful. She let everyone believe a lie for two weeks.â€

 

So, no, momma had obviously never, ever been deceitful or told a lie. She had to use a story about her sister.

[Princess Peach]

Disgusting.

 

I can't help but think that the reason she lied for so long is because she was afraid of what would happen to her. Poor kid.

[LibraryLover]

I'm not even going to pretend to want to click that link.

 

Those people are evil and it all reads like porn. I think NoGreaterJoy is a front for pedophiles looking for places to *ack off.

 

If I were FBI, I'd absolutely be monitoring that cite, and others like it.

Edited May 9, 2012 by LibraryLover

[KirstenH]

The thing I found most disturbing about the article was the fact that the author decided it was better to use her sister's sin and (excessive) punishment as an example rather than admit imperfection when asked a direct question by her children. So much for honesty.

[melissad2]

The thing I found most disturbing about the article was the fact that the author decided it was better to use her sister's sin and (excessive) punishment as an example rather than admit imperfection when asked a direct question by her children. So much for honesty.

 

:iagree:

[Shahrazad]

Wow. That is disturbing on many levels. I don't know much about the beliefs that the people on the website are following (are these the same ones who they recently spoke about in the news because they were adopting children and then like chaining them outside as punishment which they learned from some books or something? And then a few of the children died?) I also wondered as to the reasoning they would use for punishing someone for finally coming clean about a lie; it seems like the only lesson one would learn from that story is when you lie, you better stick with it so you don't get your behind whipped for 2 weeks straight as your reward for being truthful!

[Parrothead]

I'm not even going to pretend to want to click that link.

 

Those people are evil and it all reads like porn. I think NoGreaterJoy is a front for pedophiles looking for places to *ack off.

 

If I were FBI, I'd absolutely be monitoring that cite, and others like it.

:hurray::hurray::hurray:

[frugalmama]

Wow - that is seriously messed up. Makes me so glad I wasn't raised that way and I don't raise my dd like that.

[pfamilygal]

While I agree that it's excessive to spank the child every day for 2 weeks, (I probably would have let the punishment slide since she told the truth in the end.) I don't think it's any indication of homelife or screwed-up-ness that the child lies. Some kids can be very deceitful and it has nothing to do with their parents.

 

I don't view my five year old as being "deceitful". He is a child. He acts like a child. Our normal instincts are to avoid pain, so I wouldn't expect him to act differently.

 

When a child makes up a story that crazy and sticks to it, I would think she had a huge fear of her parents.

[Ellesmere]

And yet there are still people who will defend the Pearls.

 

I couldn't even read the article. Not today, anyway.

[ByGrace3]

Yeah, I will remember that story forever as well :ack2::ack2::blink:

I as always am unabashedly baffled by these people...

[i.love.lucy]

Maybe we shouldn't continue to send traffic their way, eh?

 

Yuck and double yuck. Where is the grace? Are you modeling forgiveness when you relentlessly punish a child like that? How does that form their inner conscience?

 

Sick and very sad.

[Rivka]

"Gracie will always remember that story, and how, if you ever do something wrong and aren't caught out right away, you must steadfastly refuse to ever admit it. You must keep in mind that grace will not be extended to you if you repent of what you did. So keep hiding what you did, even if that causes harm to yourself or others. It's the only way to keep yourself safe."

 

Man. This is why, when I know that a child has done something wrong, I don't give them the opportunity to lie about it. "Shoshannah, bring me what you used to cut the wall hanging."

 

Of course, in my household, wrongdoers don't get the cr*p beaten out of them. So the stakes aren't as high if I'm wrong.

[Murmer]

The worst part of all of that is that I can see how many a desperate parent would read that article and see how "happy" it was (it was written in a very gentle sounding way, not preachy, but like how perfect it all turned out everyone learned to tell the truth when the stakes were small) and how it appears to have changed the family and WOW how wonderful if they could do the same thing...and either miss the spanking part or think hey one spanking a day that is not very much (or is much less than what is going on right now at the end of their wits) and want to learn more and be slowly pulled into the idyllic picture of a perfect family and not see what is truly happening.

[Mrs Mungo]

Man. This is why, when I know that a child has done something wrong, I don't give them the opportunity to lie about it. "Shoshannah, bring me what you used to cut the wall hanging."

 

I agree, but even then kids sometimes try to keep themselves out of trouble.

 

We were once camping with my sister and cousin. They were both young, unmarried, childless (well, they still are, but that's beside the point). My youngest was around 5. The kids had been playing in the creek behind our cabin. My son brought me his sandal and said that it had broken. I said, "this has been cut, what did you use to cut it?" He tried to claim it had mysteriously broken when he was in the water. I had him sit at a picnic table until he was ready to tell the truth.

 

My sister and cousin said, "are you sure he's not telling the truth? Maybe it did break."

 

Pretty soon my middle dd comes down, talking to us. As she is talked she absently pulls from her pocket a pair of tiny folding embroidery scissors. I snatched them from her hand, turned to ds and said, "ah-HAH!" To which he replied, "I'msorryIcutmyshoe!"

[SonshineLearner]

.....

My sister and cousin said, "are you sure he's not telling the truth? Maybe it did break."

 

Pretty soon my middle dd comes down, talking to us. As she is talked she absently pulls from her pocket a pair of tiny folding embroidery scissors. I snatched them from her hand, turned to ds and said, "ah-HAH!" To which he replied, "I'msorryIcutmyshoe!"

 

It's such a relief when you're right!! :)

 

About the story, I've spanked my kids... I don't spank my son anymore.... I never spanked my kids for normal behaviour. I would remind my children that they weren't in trouble, just to tell me the truth. How did so and so happen?? I have one child who lies just because it's something that's fun for them... I have one child who tells the truth even if they think it might get them in trouble... I don't believe that my reaction is different between them. Actually, for the one who lies.... I am more careful to show that they aren't in trouble. It's still just easier for them to lie.

I can imagine giving a spank to the child who cut the wall hanging... I can't imagine that it's beneficial to spank them for 2 weeks... Good think it didn't go on a year!!

[Heatherwith4]

I'm not even going to pretend to want to click that link.

 

Those people are evil and it all reads like porn. I think NoGreaterJoy is a front for pedophiles looking for places to *ack off.

 

If I were FBI, I'd absolutely be monitoring that cite, and others like it.

:iagree: :iagree:

[Miss Sherry]

I don't like the self righteous attitude of the author as if these people are the authority on family life and child rearing. The author comes across as thinking of herself as being so "pure" and the evil child must be severely punished.

Two weeks of being spanked everyday is just plain mean. And to brag about this incident ? Wow. I'm without words.

[SuperDad]

How screwed up is your family if your kid would rather make up a story about a stranger in your home than 'fess up? My kids do not fear me like that.

Disgusting.

 

I can't help but think that the reason she lied for so long is because she was afraid of what would happen to her. Poor kid.

The thing I found most disturbing about the article was the fact that the author decided it was better to use her sister's sin and (excessive) punishment as an example rather than admit imperfection when asked a direct question by her children. So much for honesty.

 

I don't view my five year old as being "deceitful". He is a child. He acts like a child. Our normal instincts are to avoid pain, so I wouldn't expect him to act differently.

 

When a child makes up a story that crazy and sticks to it, I would think she had a huge fear of her parents.

I don't like the self righteous attitude of the author as if these people are the authority on family life and child rearing. The author comes across as thinking of herself as being so "pure" and the evil child must be severely punished.

Two weeks of being spanked everyday is just plain mean. And to brag about this incident ? Wow. I'm without words.

:iagree:

 

I'm not even going to pretend to want to click that link.

 

Those people are evil and it all reads like porn. I think NoGreaterJoy is a front for pedophiles looking for places to *ack off.

 

If I were FBI, I'd absolutely be monitoring that site, and others like it.

Normally I take things at face value, but that thought has definitely crossed my mind before. It just seems so... suspicious. When I read that site (which happens as rarely as possible), it feels too awful to actually be true. So maybe it isn't.

[Word Nerd]

The lines between imagination and reality and truth and lies are still being developed in very young children. The reason that monsters under the bed are so scary to preschoolers, for example, is that if they imagine a monster, it's real to them. Or they may wish something were true and pretend that it is in the hope that it will really happen. It's possible that this girl really believed her story about a bad man cutting the wall hanging because she could picture it happening in her head. Not that the Pearls care one whit about child development or having reasonable, age-appropriate expectations for a child; to them it's all about behavior modification.

[The Governess]

Wow. I can't imagine punishing a five year old for two weeks because she decided to be very brave and tell the truth.

 

That story would have been more powerful if the spankings were left out of it.

[Chelli]

Wow. I can't imagine punishing a five year old for two weeks because she decided to be very brave and tell the truth.

 

That story would have been more powerful if the spankings were left out of it.

 

:iagree: I thought the same thing. I was reading it thinking, "Wow, this mom is handling this really well. She's using the Bible to help convict her child of their wrongdoing instead of accusing until they tell the truth."

 

Then when the child admits what she did wrong I'm thinking that now the mother will reinforce what the Bible has said, maybe pray together, hug, and go find the scissors. End of story.

 

But, nope, the mother proceeds to spank her child for two weeks! :001_huh: I would definitely lie the next time and stick to my guns if I was her kid!

 

ETA: I don't know much about the Pearls, but this is definitely not my parenting style.

[Pamela H in Texas]

And to think I got upset because a teacher gave my kid four long (each 20-30 min) time-outs (she freaked when I called them that. It was isolation, think it over, and watch others make good choices. @@). Three were on Friday and the fourth on Monday.

[speedmom4]

Wow. That poor child was so afraid to tell the truth. She was beginning to have anxiety at bedtime about the "bad" person returning at night even though she knew she had cut the blanket. I have a hard time understanding how they justify such cruel punishments when Jesus paid the price for all of our sins. We don't have to face the penalty because He did.

 

Unbelievable.

 

Elise in NC

[Peaceful Isle]

Wow, I have two little girls who have done silly little things throughout the years.

Okay, I get punishing the lie after it was confessed, but REALLY? Two weeks of spanking? I'm sorry, but that does not spell Christ like love to me. I could NEVER do that to my child.ever.

Also, I would never use that story as an illustration. How horrific. The little girl was 5! I hardly remember being 5.

One punishment is enough, whatever it may be, and then quick restoration to the family. What about a time out? or maybe she has to give something of hers away, or maybe she will have to go to bed early that night.. Hey, there are a lot of options, besides 2 weeks of beatings!

How can you wake up in the morning and look on your mommy with love, knowing she will beat you, yet again, for another day.

Okay, now I'm nauseous.

[Starr]

And to think I got upset because a teacher gave my kid four long (each 20-30 min) time-outs (she freaked when I called them that. It was isolation, think it over, and watch others make good choices. @@). Three were on Friday and the fourth on Monday.

 

Pamela you must have had a fit! I'm sorry.

[Pamela H in Texas]

Thanks Starr....Yes, I was upset. I was typing on my phone earlier. That was all for ONE childish incident. It was about a month ago. At first, I was pretty nice about it but when that didn't work, I simply told her it wasn't to happen again. Of course, worse has happened since.

 

At least the Pearls realize they are "out there" even though they feel they are right and all but their small following are wrong.