K and first grade mistakes

[welltrainedmami]

Don't read these forums when you are first starting out and get discouraged when you see in someone's signature that their 6 year old is doing 4th grade math.

 

Yes! That is so discouraging!

[Soror]

Am I the only one with kids who are ready to do math way before reading?

 

Just to give some perspective to this thread, listening to all the teach them to read, read, read on this thread would have completely backfired here. You can't make them developmentally ready, and for both my boys lots of math came first. :D

 

Same here. We are a grade level ahead of Math vs. Reading. I picked a program, RS, that allowed him to continue to advance w/ minimal writing. I wouldn't hold him back just because he wasn't reading. We have of course continued to work on reading as well during this time but again that is the beauty of hs'ing your kid doesn't have to be on the same level for everything you teach to where they are at.

[ByGrace3]

Finishing up first with dd and starting our second round of K next year with ds.

A few things I have learned/mistakes made.

 

--Make phonics/reading the center of K. We spent too much time on math in K-- it was the nature of the curriculum we were using, but I wouldn't use it again.

--While history and science are "extra" in the early years, I don't think not planning them at all would have worked for us. I didn't plan science for K and it barely got done because I went with the "it's just gravy" attitude. Instead I wish I would have planned a light nature study or something that would have gotten done.

--Do not buy into the "its just 'K' 'first' advice. I did this for several months last year and got really behind and stressed me out. I know this advice is wonderful for someone who needs to relax or take a step back and not overly push their child, but for me who needs a plan and accountability, this advice was a disaster. I realize they have a lot of time for all the other subjects, but I realize my child will not wake up in fourth grade "ready" for rigor if I do not build a firm foundation. No stress, no pushing, just consistently moving forward as slowly as necessary.

--When your dc doesn't "get" something, it used to stress me out, I have since learned that if it seems too hard, give it a few weeks, chances are just a little time is needed.

--Try to make the curriculum you have work-- give it a chance. Some of the things I almost gave up on in the beginning became some of my favorite things.

--If what you are using does not work for you and you have tweaked and given it time, give yourself permission to drop it. Your child will only be this age once and there are too many wonderful options out there.

--Should have done history without a spine this year. Really great lit, picture books and some historical fiction mixed with maps/projects/and coloring would have been plenty and much more enjoyed in order to meet the goal of "exposure. This also is so freeing when you think about combing the up and coming dc. Whatever I choose for dd all I have to do it add some good books on ds's level. So freeing to not have to make combining difficult!

--More read alouds, less planning and researching :tongue_smilie:

[mhaddon]

Think the point of the thread was to

Share advice that may help someone. Everyone is different, but If you are in a low place one day and remember reading someone else was in

The same place I think it helps :)

 

My son starting k is way ahead and math. We went ahead and started. It is amazing how different each child is! So even when you think you figured it out you are really starting over again. Lol

 

I also wish I had spent less time planning and more time doing. And less comparing with public school. After going through elementary education degree in college I think it's made me worry too much.

[SorrelZG]

One mistake was being overly insecure and giving more weight to others than to my own experience and knowledge of my child. I've gained a great amount from the wisdom and experience of others but on certain points I abdicated my own responsibility and went against my own intuition.

[DJgang]

 

As for housekeeping, as Charlotte Mason would say, it is all about forming habits (in your children and, perhaps more importantly, in yourselves).

 

Good advice from CM thanks for posting and reminding us! More importantly for reminding ME!

 

I've got lots of bad habits since my kids have been in school, coming home is going to be... Um... Heck on mama!

[mudboots]

Thank you for this thread! :001_wub:

Because of it, I'll probably change my plan to allow more time each day for phonics.

 

I also need this, though... it's easy to second-guess myself:

 

One mistake was being overly insecure and giving more weight to others than to my own experience and knowledge of my child. I've gained a great amount from the wisdom and experience of others but on certain points I abdicated my own responsibility and went against my own intuition.

[ForeverFamily]

We are close to finishing up our "2nd" K year. My biggest regret was starting K a year early. My Dd was "academically" ready but I wish I would have not done a full blown K curric. while she was so young. Instead I wish I would have kept it simple and worked on reading, simple math, and have done lots and lots of reading, nature walks, and fun crafts. Instead I started our 1st year of K with a boxed K curric and it was a nightmare. I agree with the others about less planning and more doing. That was I think my biggest downfall. I think we all would have enjoyed this last year if I had been less worried about planning and just been doing. I also really, really wish I would have found and read the WTM earlier.

 

My other biggest regret is I wish I would have spent more time these last couple of years working on instilling good habits of cleaning up after yourself. My kids are terrible at this and I blame no one but myself. I am trying to focus more on fixing that in both my kids and me. ;)

[fruitofthewomb]

I also really, really wish I would have found and read the WTM earlier.

:iagree:

[MrsBear]

Am I the only one with kids who are ready to do math way before reading?

 

Just to give some perspective to this thread, listening to all the teach them to read, read, read on this thread would have completely backfired here. You can't make them developmentally ready, and for both my boys lots of math came first. :D

 

While I agree that if they're not developmentally ready it's probably not a good idea to spend a lot of time on something like reading, at the same time, it's easy to spend not enough time because you're trying to get in a lot of other things and not focusing enough on reading when you can/should to help them progress more strongly than they do. We did (and still do) a ton of math, DS is a mathy kid, but if I knew then what I know now, given how well he does in math, I would have slowed down the math to make more time for the reading, or integrated more reading into the math (word problems he had to read or we'd read together type integration) because math isn't a problem for him, nor do I think it ever will be.....but reading, reading has been a challenge and he's now finally doing well with it, but I do question if I'd spent more time and focused more on developing the skills earlier, would it have helped?

[Runningmom80]

I don't know that I really made mistakes, more like things that just didn't work out.

 

 

What I ended up doing for k is math, lots of reading, (DS has been readi for a while, so not formal instruction, just lots of books :)) and handwriting. I had a few other subjects planned, but it seemed like it was too much for a newly 5 yo, so we just relaxed, and I don't regret it at all. :auto:

[ScoutTN]

Don't waste pretty fall and spring days inside! Go outside and play! (As my kids are doing today! :D:D)

[Mommie_Jen]

As a new homeschooling mom to a 5 yr old, this thread has just blessed me today! Thank you all so very much.

 

Breathe. Relax. Repeat.

[ALB]

Don't waste pretty fall and spring days inside! Go outside and play! (As my kids are doing today! :D:D)

:iagree:Great advice! Not a mistake (although I have made lots of those), but my FAVORITE thing we did: read, read, read! We spent hours and hours reading wonderful books of all kinds, and my dc really love books now.

[Greenmama2]

Same here. We are a grade level ahead of Math vs. Reading. t.

Another mathematically ready before ready for reading here. DD (just starting first) is at least one grade if not more ahead in maths of where she is in reading. So I would heartily agree with the advice to know your own child :)

What mistakes did I make? Not following my instinct (and knowledge of my own child ;)) enough in selecting curricula and activities.

[sagira]

Relax. Do consistent work, but don't panic if everything doesn't get done that day, that week. Enjoy the children. Be enthusiastic but not overbearing. Prepare to incorporate lots of movement for the 5-6 crowd, and short, focused lessons.

[Jpoy85]

:thumbup: Awesome Thread!

 

K and 1st grade here, Id say my regrets were trying to make excuses for making a certain curriculum work, when i knew it wasnt. Starting out with structure and schedule, when I knew it wasnt working. Making L start, when I knew she couldnt/shouldnt.

 

I feel more on board going into next year, I dont feel like Im floundering anymore. We will be a tad behind on Math, but Im ok with that. Im not in a rush to get her there. It will come in time. I was a tad worried about her reading, but I see progress and that is whats important. If i didnt see progress Id be worried.

[melbotoast]

Thanks for this thread!

 

As for housekeeping, as Charlotte Mason would say, it is all about forming habits (in your children and, perhaps more importantly, in yourselves).

Love this!

[sassenach]

If your child is consistently crying, the problem is the teaching, not the child. Either expectations or approach need to be adjusted.

 

Get outside, have playdates, play pretend! Sit down time should be short.

 

Be consistent. I think it's the key to all of homeschooling, not just K. My Kers usually did school work for less than 1 hour a day. The key to that being enough is that you do it every day (5 days a week). How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

Don't be discouraged by slow progress. I'm amazed by the fits and bursts that kids learn in. This also extends past K, but is especially relavent in the early years. You will work on something for weeks or months with no progress and then suddenly, POP!, it sticks. This goes hand in hand with that consistency.

 

Have fun!!

[pitterpatter]

I think I'm on the complete other end of the spectrum. I am absolutely thrilled with how well things went this past year. Sure, there were a few bumps, but they only have made me feel more confident in our decision to home-school DD. I was able to tweak the things that needed tweaking. She's a very bright student and does well at home. However, I'm pretty sure she would easily get distracted by other students at public school. I don't even want to wager a guess at how well should would do there.

 

I agree with the other PP who said to teach more than the Rs, if your child enjoys it. DD enjoys the "extras" the most.

[ocelotmom]

Teach reading first. Don't worry about history and science while teaching reading. We did a little of each, but mainly just reading books from the early reader section. We did not attempt a full curriculum until he could read ;) We still learned a lot of science, history, and geography; it was just all from books he could read to me.

 

On the other side... if your child is just not grasping reading, but enthusiastic about science and history (or any other subject), it's ok to do those as read-alouds until their reading skills catch up! Whetting their appetites helps give them motivation to really take off when their skills catch up with their interest.

[heidirenata]

Don't read these forums when you are first starting out and get discouraged when you see in someone's signature that their 6 year old is doing 4th grade math. That pressure turned into me pressuring my Ker to go beyond what she was capable because I was so stressed about making her "advanced". They all go at their own pace.

 

Don't do too much. Teach them how to read, form their letters and numbers, and do a little math. All the rest can wait until they can read. I did way too much and had to scale way back. My poor first child.

 

Enjoy them, read to them, and have fun. I pushed curriculum too much and wished I had just sat down and read to them more. That is what I am doing now. Read, read, read.

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

[bluechicken]

If your child is consistently crying, the problem is the teaching, not the child. Either expectations or approach need to be adjusted.

 

 

 

Well, I suppose I am failing in your eyes. My DD cries everyday when we do anything learning related. Every single day. I have tried several different approaches and my expectations are close to nothing. She will be 6 in 2 weeks. I have finally chalked it up to a maturity issue. She certainly doesn't cry for lack of ability.

 

 

We do 2 things, math and phonics. More specifically we do Saxon 1, ETC, and half a page of Phonics Pathways. Still, there are tears. I don't think there is anything wrong with my teaching ability or approach. I have changed things several times.

[FairyMom]

The grass isn't always greener. If you're enjoying what you're doing, and so are the kids, stick with it.

 

I was so concerned I was going to "ruin" them that I flip-flopped around trying to find "the best." The best for us is not the best for anyone else.

 

The biggest thing.... have fun and enjoy them! Ask them what they want, within reason, of course. My oldest got bored during one of my flip-flops, so I asked her why she wasn't enjoying school anymore. She told me what she loved and enjoyed about school ... so we went back to our first love and haven't looked back. :)

[jennynd]

I think I need to relax more and I need to know when to call it a day. I need to remind myself that DD is a very different Child from DS and I can't have same expectation for her. I need to relax and remind myself she is doing great...

[KAR120C]

....but this thread caught my eye. I'm really happy, actually, with how the early years went for us (and most of the later years too!) and I credit that to two very straightforward rules.

 

#1. Know Your Kid.

 

#2. Teach The Kid You Have.

 

It doesn't make a bit of difference that someone else is doing more, or less, or exactly the same amount. You have YOUR KID. Your kid is not a statistic. He is almost certainly not average in every regard. He (or she) will almost certainly not do all the things that "most boys" (or "most girls") do. He has strengths and weaknesses and interests, and you will be far FAR better served by finding out what those are and working with them, rather than worrying about what others do.

 

Whatever your reasons for homeschooling, I can just about guarantee that among this is not "to turn my kid into a clone of every other kid out there". Teach the kid you have, and aim for giving him an education that lets him fly with whatever he's good at and interested in, while giving him time and support to work on the things he struggles with. He's not the next Einstein, or Beethoven, or Shakespeare, or Picasso, or anyone else -- nobody is. He's just himself, and finding out who that is and how to teach him what he needs to know to be the best "himself" he can... that's way more interesting than trying to make him into anything else.

[iafrmgrl77]

Well, I suppose I am failing in your eyes.

 

I don't think anyone is failing in anyone's eyes here. Shannon brought up a good point that had not been mentioned yet on this thread. We often spend a lot of time looking at the curriculum or the child but forget that WE may be the issue! Maybe you are not guilty of this, but I know I have been in the past. Hope things get easier for you and your little one soon! :grouphug:

 

 

My Thoughts and "Do-Differently's":

 

1. I pushed my first DD WAY too hard. I feel SO guilty about that. I wish I would have spent way more time snuggled up on the couch reading to her. We are making up for that now, though. :)

 

2. I SO agree with the advice to know your child and follow your gut (I would add to that LOTS of prayer!). Our children are so unique, and what works for one not only MAY not, but from my experience VERY LIKELY will not work for the next. That is what keeps things interesting! I love having an excuse to browse new curriculum! :)

[FairyMom]

Well, I suppose I am failing in your eyes. My DD cries everyday when we do anything learning related. Every single day. I have tried several different approaches and my expectations are close to nothing. She will be 6 in 2 weeks. I have finally chalked it up to a maturity issue. She certainly doesn't cry for lack of ability.

 

 

We do 2 things, math and phonics. More specifically we do Saxon 1, ETC, and half a page of Phonics Pathways. Still, there are tears. I don't think there is anything wrong with my teaching ability or approach. I have changed things several times.

 

:grouphug: Don't be too hard on yourself, mom.

 

She might not be ready to sit every day and do workbooks. You could try to change it up, problems in sand, with chalk outside, have her write the problems in crayons herself. My 2nd grader loves to write problems out on the board or on a piece of paper. She cries at workbooks, so we adapted her workbooks. :)

[jen_batten]

Loving this info! We've just finished up our first year and it went pretty well. It's always good to store up advice for a rainy day though.

[Tanikit]

Well, I suppose I am failing in your eyes. My DD cries everyday when we do anything learning related. Every single day. I have tried several different approaches and my expectations are close to nothing. She will be 6 in 2 weeks. I have finally chalked it up to a maturity issue. She certainly doesn't cry for lack of ability.

 

 

We do 2 things, math and phonics. More specifically we do Saxon 1, ETC, and half a page of Phonics Pathways. Still, there are tears. I don't think there is anything wrong with my teaching ability or approach. I have changed things several times.

 

:hugs: I feel that by 6 you probably can start to expect something from them. However if my DD gets to crying about school we do pull back and then I ask her what she wants to learn. Last time I did this she said: "I want to learn about Smarties (chocolate candy) cause then we can buy and eat some" - she learnt more in the hour we spent playing with the candy than in a lot of time we had been doing curriculum and she concentrated well - we did math, history, geography, science and yes we got to eat it! Maybe give her a learning break once in a while so the tears are not daily and so that you can cope too.

[ForeverFamily]

If your child is consistently crying, the problem is the teaching, not the child. Either expectations or approach need to be adjusted.

 

Get outside, have playdates, play pretend! Sit down time should be short.

 

Be consistent. I think it's the key to all of homeschooling, not just K. My Kers usually did school work for less than 1 hour a day. The key to that being enough is that you do it every day (5 days a week). How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.

 

Don't be discouraged by slow progress. I'm amazed by the fits and bursts that kids learn in. This also extends past K, but is especially relavent in the early years. You will work on something for weeks or months with no progress and then suddenly, POP!, it sticks. This goes hand in hand with that consistency.

 

Have fun!!

:iagree::iagree::iagree:

Consistency has been the most important thing for us. And I need to do better at remembering to have fun!:001_smile: Thanks for the reminder!

[nov05mama]

....but this thread caught my eye. I'm really happy, actually, with how the early years went for us (and most of the later years too!) and I credit that to two very straightforward rules.

 

#1. Know Your Kid.

 

#2. Teach The Kid You Have.

 

It doesn't make a bit of difference that someone else is doing more, or less, or exactly the same amount. You have YOUR KID. Your kid is not a statistic. He is almost certainly not average in every regard. He (or she) will almost certainly not do all the things that "most boys" (or "most girls") do. He has strengths and weaknesses and interests, and you will be far FAR better served by finding out what those are and working with them, rather than worrying about what others do.

 

Whatever your reasons for homeschooling, I can just about guarantee that among this is not "to turn my kid into a clone of every other kid out there". Teach the kid you have, and aim for giving him an education that lets him fly with whatever he's good at and interested in, while giving him time and support to work on the things he struggles with. He's not the next Einstein, or Beethoven, or Shakespeare, or Picasso, or anyone else -- nobody is. He's just himself, and finding out who that is and how to teach him what he needs to know to be the best "himself" he can... that's way more interesting than trying to make him into anything else.

 

I just have to tell you how wonderfully eloquent this post is! I know many of the PP's have said similar, but I just love the way you have put it all out there! Beautiful post and great reminder! TY!

[...................]

The grass isn't always greener. If you're enjoying what you're doing, and so are the kids, stick with it.

 

I was so concerned I was going to "ruin" them that I flip-flopped around trying to find "the best." The best for us is not the best for anyone else.

 

The biggest thing.... have fun and enjoy them! :)

 

:iagree:

 

I would add: it really doesn't matter that much what curriculum you use. Just be consistent especially in math. Feel free to try new things for other subjects. The biggest thing is to work on LA every day and read aloud to them every day.

[Chelli]

....but this thread caught my eye. I'm really happy, actually, with how the early years went for us (and most of the later years too!) and I credit that to two very straightforward rules.

 

#1. Know Your Kid.

 

#2. Teach The Kid You Have.

 

It doesn't make a bit of difference that someone else is doing more, or less, or exactly the same amount. You have YOUR KID. Your kid is not a statistic. He is almost certainly not average in every regard. He (or she) will almost certainly not do all the things that "most boys" (or "most girls") do. He has strengths and weaknesses and interests, and you will be far FAR better served by finding out what those are and working with them, rather than worrying about what others do.

 

Whatever your reasons for homeschooling, I can just about guarantee that among this is not "to turn my kid into a clone of every other kid out there". Teach the kid you have, and aim for giving him an education that lets him fly with whatever he's good at and interested in, while giving him time and support to work on the things he struggles with. He's not the next Einstein, or Beethoven, or Shakespeare, or Picasso, or anyone else -- nobody is. He's just himself, and finding out who that is and how to teach him what he needs to know to be the best "himself" he can... that's way more interesting than trying to make him into anything else.

 

I also have no regrets or anything I would do differently for K or 1st with my oldest dd, but without even knowing it I followed your #1 and #2 rules.

 

I absolutely love what you said here. It is perfectly stated.

Do you mind if I post it on my blog? I won't use your name or ID, just the quote.